Various Artists ‎– "The Emergency Cassette- Lightbulb Magazine" (Los Angeles Free Music Society, 2x C-60) 1981

A huge and insanely diverse compilation of Abstract lunacy which came with the fourth edition of LAFMS magazine 'lightbulb'.
We've even got the Meat Puppets on here,and thankfully they don't sound like the Meat Puppets from later in the eighties 'cus they were shit; they aren't here.
We got 45 Grave, future LA Goth rockers who later sounded like a Beverly hills version of X-Mal Deutschland, but contained a member with one of the best stage names ever....Dinah Cancer.Their track here is in fact a rather marvellous sonic splatter painting,disguising the goth leanings like a Dazzle Ship.They could have been great!
The Berlin School of electronic musik makes an appearance too,in the form of Herr Asmus Tietchens,which is strange for a Los Angeles comp?
Of course there's plenty of unhinged experimentation from Rick and Joe Potts,Tom Recchion, Dennis Duck and the famous Doo-Dooettes to satisfy your craving for truly unique abstract madness.

Track listing:

Volume One:

01 Tomm Recchion And The Friends Of Leslie-I Walk Through Walls
02 Monique-Bathroom
03 Jad Fair-Kristy
04 Doug Snyder-Imaginary Descenders
05 Creatures Lives-Freedom Like A Burning Wall
06 Smegma-#2
07 Peepland-Mark Stuber
08 The Lunchmen-Rock With Three Eyes
09 John Duncan-LBMA
10 International Language-Angels
11 Duba/Sansome-Limbo Sock
12 30 Windswept Dimes-Nestor Carbuncles
13 Decayes-Dancehall
14 45 Grave-Bobby
15 Half Bodied Baby-The Bullfrogs
16 Human Hands-She Eats Bugs
17 Neef-Gondwanland
18 Glo-Bin Treeflip-No Title
19 Bachelors Even-Tes Lolos Tremolos
20 Rick Potts-Draw Spunky

21 Bridge-Countdown
22 Fragile Hats-Suddenly...
23 Fredrik Nilsen-Our First Date

Volume Two:

01 Jes Grew-Another Chance To Lose
02 B people-Give Up
03 Phranc-I Like Life
04 Asmus Titchens-Club Of Rome
05 Them Rhythm Ants-50 Opinions
06 Tiny Holes-Billy
07 Random Samples-Random Sample
08 Flap-Pablo Kwell
09 Tela Conversion-Take Possess
10 Meat Puppets-Meat Puppets
11 Doodooettes-That Moment
12 Pep Lester-It's No Fair
13 Bridge-Untitled
14 Cameron Hands Penis Envy-Room With A View
15 Dennis Duck-Dogs Don't Drive
16 Brent Wilcox-Santa Fe Dub
17 Planet Z-Jungle Rot
18 Arrow Book Club-Morris Time
19 Bruce Licher-Compositions For Computer#1
20 Slimy Adenoid & The Fab Pabs-Twist & Squirm
21 Rick Potts & His Riddle Orchestra-I'm Dickens, He's Fenster
22 The Tribal Fops-Blue Pork Chops
23 Bill Noland-Helen Does A Waltz
24 Foundation Boo-X-Land

Emergency DOWNLOAD volume one HERE!

Emergency DOWNLOAD volume two HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "I.D. Art #2" (Los Angeles Free Music Society ‎– LAFMS #002) 1976

That Los Angeles Free Music Society (LAFMS) certainly know/knew how to put together a good abstract compilation record. This one dates from even before "Blorp essette" in 1976.
Back then the LAFMS had already deconstructed rock even before the 'Punks' had decided to destroy 'Rock' by playing....er.....Rock? Very little on here would even have been perceived as music in those ELP ruled days,even today this still has a very large capacity to annoy and frighten Mr and Mrs Henry Normal; and may even make John Q. Public angry(?). When confronted with Conceptual Art, the Hive mind can be easily confused and sent in to the defensive 'fight or flight' mode of a cornered animal.Frequently dismissing such  challenges to accepted norms as 'Rubbish'  or 'Not Art',backed up with violent urges. Its the difference between Constables' 'Haywain' and Picasso's "Weepin Woman",the difference between Craft and Art; the difference between ELP and  Smegma.

Tracklist:

A1	–Mac McCloud	A, Mac McCloud;B, Mac McCloud
A2	–Harold Schroeder	Silent Rituals
A3	–Greg Neutra / J.D. Elliot	Grieg Fatigue
A4a	–Smegma	Rrose Selavy Will Wait For My Washing Machine, Even
A4b	–Smegma	The Andalusian Dog Often Digs Into The Furniture With Onyx Fingers
A5	–Smegma	Potatoe War
A6	–Fredrik Nilsen	You Can't Hide From Aldehyde
A7	–Miles Forst	Art, Art, Art
A8	–Smegma	One Moment
A9	–Smegma	Pigface Blues
A10	–Doug Henry	View This Command As A Verbal Enactment Of A Command
A11	–Josie Roth	Heal, And Another Little Time
A12	–Joe Potts	I Don't Want To Go To The Farm
A13	–Otto Fick	Untitled
A14	–Smegma	Excerpt From: I'll Have Julie Nixon-Eisenhower For My Appetizer (Sour Lungs To My Surprise)
A15	–Karen Kato	Xmas 1952
A16	–J.J. Allen Vargas	Victim Of Racism
A17	–Dennis Guy Mehaffey	Busta Nosa
A18	–M/R/Zuniga	Vulnerability: Rape, Male Vs. Female
A19	–Mike Green	Martin Heiddeger Revisited
A20a	–Mehaffey	Introduction By Buckminster Fuller
A20b	–Mehaffey	I Stumble/You Laugh
A21	–Jules Lemelle	Untitled
B22	–Maureen Abbott	Untitled
B23	–Smegma	Take One
B24	–Dan Weiss / P. Hamilton Ross	A Bicentennial Tribue To America's Freight Trains
B25	–Mr. Foon	Timeless #1
B26	–Bertil Petersson	Monologue To Henry VIII
B27	–Amrein & Stoll	Untitled
B28	–Ace & Duce	Dogs Are Barking
B29	–Irene Dogmatic / Rose Tatoo	Untitled
B30	–Gordon Shields	Cotton Duck, Up And Back
B31	–Gary Beydler	Record Stick
B32	–Tom Kemp	Pasadena Subway Station Poetry Stills
B33	–Donald Spaulding	I Don't Want This To Happen
B34	–Janice Felger / Joan Hugo	One Minute Of Art News Update In 30 Seconds
B35	–Sue Farthing	Untitled
B36	–Waynna Kato	White/Noise
B37	–Jim Abuan / Peter Muzzey	Why Does Love Have To Be So Sad?
B38	–Juan Gomez	This Is My Country
B39	–P.J. Campbell	Untitled
B40	–Kathe Schreyer	Don't Make Me Laugh
B41	–Mary Dana Chodzko	Patty Smith By Mary Dana Chodzko
B42	–Gary Laskin	Have Sex With Rex
B43	–Jean Koller	Dream
B44a	–Le Forte Four	Discarded Portion Of The Soundtrack For Rick's Film "Burger Madness"
B44b	–Le Forte Four	From "The Origin Of Large Schrapnel"
B44c	–Le Forte Four	I Haven't Heard You For A Long Time…
B44d	–Le Forte Four	Fat Ape

DOWNLOAD your fake I.D. arf too HERE!

Various Artists ‎– " Blorp Essette " Volume Two (Los Angeles Free Music Society ‎– LAFMS#10/11) 1980

More Van Vliet art in 'True Mono' for guitar players!.....you can't go far wrong with those three cosy niches overlapping each like a Venn diagram of  'wot is gud'. The central sector,where all three converge, forming the all encompassing brilliance of "Blorp essette"......volume two. Not forgetting that Volume One was fantastic also.
All the usual LAFMS contributors(the Potts, Recchion,Duck,Chapman,Smegma etc.) are, one assumes, present; plus some very un-PC lo-fi Punk from The Child Molesters, with their peon to the Hillside Strangler.....not the first peon to this mythical monster, but a fine noise indeed nonetheless!
Side 2 of LP1,is dedicated to those who would want to stretch the possibilities of the guitar to this versatile instruments uncharted limits.The picks being Mr.Foon 'untrendy' piece from 1977, and Henry Kaiser's abstract vision of Gary Moore's solo from "Parisienne Walkways"......not really, but a fine example for a compare and contrast moment; that is one is brilliant and innovative, the other pure shite......I'll leave it up to you which one is which.

Track Listing:

A1	Unknown Artist	Intro...
A2	–Bix Flent	Happy Birthday Behavior
A3	The Child Molesters	(I'm The) Hillside Strangler
A4	ace=1,aos c/s	Examining Upstart Art
A5	Amy DeWolfe	Frogsies And Fisheggs Zuking Mushroom Headtops In The Swamp. The Mushroom Headtops Walk Into The Unknown. The End (Beware Of The Zookies)
A6	–Rick Potts	Don't Think
A7	–Doo-Dooettes	From The Desk Of….The Doo-Dooettes
		For Guitar Players
B1	–Larry Fischer & Smegma	Introduction
B2	–Patrick Dutchboy Lubotamy	Delayedelusions 1-5
B3	–Henry Kaiser	Mal Qué Arroz
B4	–Reet / Craig	ACNoDE Ape
B5	–Mr. Foon	Non-Trendy Guitar Piece 1977
B6	–Electric Willy Trio	Truck-Drivin' Song
B7	–Larry Fischer & Smegma	Outro (Outake)
		Blorp Esettes Greatest Hits
C1	–Unknown Artist	Intro…
C2	–Dennis Duck	Evolution Song
C3	–Joe Potts	Heartphase Hotel
C4	–Smegma / Harry Halibut & His Band Renoun	Medley: Bubs Enter A Cold, Hard World / The Bub Walk
C5	–Electric Willy Trio	Cow Town Blues
C6	–Reverend Toad-Eater	Alden Street
D1	–The New Los Grifos Band / Dr. Id / Ju Suk Reet Meate	Medley: Joe Hall's Dead / Idpiece Codpiece / Hot's Bee's Head Hit The Wax
D2	–Patients	(Rodan)
D3	–Chip Chapman	Red Light, Auto Flight
D4	–Sucmeof The Spud	Betty Moons It
D5	–The Child Molesters	Muscle Beach Party (Live)
D6	–Charles Wasserburg	My Skateboard High

DOWNLOAD with volume too HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "Blorp Esette Volume One" (Los Angeles Free Music Society ‎– LAFMS#05) 1977

The Iconic compilation from the abstract world of the Los Angeles Free Music Society (LAFMS),complete with faux naive  artwork by none other than Don Van Vliet; that very over-rated painter formerly known as Captain Beefheart, the very under-rated musician.
All the usual combinations of LAFMS members are here,plus an exclusive track from none other than, no not Don Van Vliet, but The Residents, from during the height of their creative summer.
It may have been 1977,but you won't find any Punk Rock on here; having said that, you won't find any Punk Rock as Punk Rock as this either.The boundaries of the definition of music are stretched like the loose elastic of Meat Loafs sweaty underpants. So much so, that when The Residents track appears, they sound like Top Ten material......which of course they should have been?

Track Listing:

A1 - 'Intro' - Unknown Artist
A2 - 'Neil Schneck' - Dr Odd
A3 - 'Her Father's Love' - Electric Willy
A4 - 'Somebody Pooped In Their Pants' - Daniel Stewart
A5 - 'The Lubricated Braggarts Countdown' - Cheezit Ritz
A6 - '(LA(WEBSTER7)0)' - Reet/Craig
A7 - 'Excerpt from "I Smell Smoke" - Smegma
A8 - 'Oktaaves' - Mr. Foon
A9 - 'Whoopy Snorp' - The Residents
A10-'Half magic' - The Patients
A11-'Outro/Wolf Loop' - Unkown Artist

B1 - '2or 3 unclaimed Negros Corpses' - The Professor
B2 - 'Still Life' - D.K.,Reet Meate
B3 - 'Japanese Super Heroes' - Le Forté Four
B4 - 'The return Of The Pyramidal Oinksnovs' - Gods Of The Pits
B5 - 'Ya Gotta Geek The Geeker' - Smegma
B6 - 'HEA/AOS' - ACE=1,c/s-Helena Armand
B7 - 'Reet Solo Real Bass' - Ju Suk Reet Meate
B8 - 'Microphobia' - Mr. Foon's Bandaloon
B9 - 'Just Don't forget,Frank Is The Real Boss' - Frank Bedal

DOWNLOAD one blorp essette HERE!

Smegma ‎– "Glamour Girl 1941" (Los Angeles Free Music Society ‎– LAFMS#08) 1979

Another Los Angeles Free Music Society collective, again including Dennis Duck, among others, is the delightfully named Smegma.
They play a strange kind of deliberately aimless, meandering, kind of structureless improv Jazz Rock. Notes and half-formed melodies seem to appear as an afterthought in a cloud of exhaled weed smoke.Has the vibe of a 3am stoned jam session that whenever the participants stumble over anything structured, they stop and drift slowly off somewhere less palatable.
"I'm Not An Artist!", they exclaim; no real artist would exclaim anything else.

Tracklist: 

A1	Difference	3:49
A2	1980 A.R. (After Radiation)	7:21
A3	Prowing Nose	5:04
A4	Die Wo-Wo	1:32
B1	I Am Not Artist	6:04
B2	Ladies Nite At The "Ortho Lounge"	4:00
B3	Half A Billion	7:43

DOWNLOAD a smeggy glamour girl HERE!

Various ‎– "Three Minute Symphony" (X Tract ‎– XX002) 1984

Classic compilation that skirts in and around the edge of the Industrial scene of 1984,the underground equivalent of 'Pillows and Prayers' but for weirdo's instead of foppish fringe wearing students.
Being a Sounds reader since the halcyon days of Punk Rock, Sounds contributor and compiler of this album, Dave Henderson, was writing increasingly about the burgeoning underground of there new music of 1984. Nowhere else could you read about such acts as Konstuktivists or Nurse with Wound; and of course, in these pre-internet days,obtaining these records was a stiff task, especially if you lived outside of London. This made these disc's and tapes even more desirable, and the moment one actually obtained one became an almost religious exercise. Slipping the artefact out of its sleeve and playing the messages contained within, which invariably would lead to friends, parents, and neighbours believing that you were either mad or insane, or a potential threat to their community as a whole.
Anything that is a threat to normality is naturally attractive to anyone with their eyes firmly open to this sham we call Civilisation; so that fact put these artists on the front line of consciousness change.
The works within this double album's grooves, span a virtual Who's Who of the underground in 1984, even the granddaddy of Industrial , Conrad Schnitzler himself, who contributes the title track, appears.
It also has probably my favourite German group, Die Tödliche Doris, amongst many other international favourites.
UK Diy is represented well, with Philip Johnson, Colin Potter (with an actual picture on the cover of the man himself!) and David Jackman, can't go wrong there?
The only groan factor was the inclusion of The Legendary Pink Dots, who, as many of you may know, are not one of my favourite groups; but!.....even their track is pretty good,despite that Edward K bloke failing to resist contributing some of his god awful warblings half way through it!
Apart from that sole criticism, this is pretty perfect! (mmm(thinks), doesn't that mean its NOT perfect?......but isn't perfection in itself, imperfection? Without imperfection we wouldn't recognise perfection, therefore by definition, perfection is imperfection is perfection.9999999 recurring?).

Tracklist:

A1	– Kill Ugly Pop	Let's Get Real Gone	3:45
A2	– Ptose	Waiting For My Soul	3:30
A3	– Trax	Trax Co Mix 1	3:12
A4	– Die Todliche Doris	Maria	2:45
A5	– Van Kaye And Ignit	A Slice Of The Action	3:30
A6	– Bene Gesserit	White Men	3:10
B1	– Colin Potter	The State	2:57
B2	– Human Flesh	L'Ultima Storia	3:20
B3	– DDAA	Your Mother With A Cake	3:10
B4	– Point Of Collapse	When Worlds Collide	3:10
B5	– David Jackman	Wolf (Part 2)	3:05
B6	– Sema	Untitled	3:20
C1	– Hunting Lodge	Tribal Warning Shot	2:58
C2	– Roll Kommando	Die Romantik Ist Tot	3:00
C3	– Stratis	I Fotia	2:58
C4	– Merzbow	Xa-Bungle	3:10
C5	– Philip Johnson	Always Behind You	1:58
C6	– Conrad Schnitzler	Three Minute Symphony No 1	3:00
D1	– Nagamatzu	Bird, Spider, Fly	3:05
D2	– Hurt	Money Matters	3:20
D3	– Nurse With Wound	Antacid Cocamotive 93	3:50
D4	– Legendary Pink Dots	No Bell, No Prize	3:52
D5	– Asmus Tietchens	Dahinter Industriegelande	3:10
D6	– Smegma	The Breathing Method	3:00

DOWNLOAD these 24 Three Minute Symphonies HERE!