Sleezy D. – "I've Lost Control" (Trax Records – TX113) 1986

They didn't waste much time on cover artwork at Trax records did they? Then again why should they?

I suspect that these things were regarded as something disposable and functional. 

Like the UK DIY cassette scene,which this blog was supposed to be originally about.

Cassettes were usually disposed of after listening, or taped over by a bedroom Synth duo and resold.Making them ultra rare bits of kit.

Can't do that with vinyl I guess ,but generally these 33rpm 12" ep's were played continuously for a short run and usurped by the newest TR303/909 symphony, which could be churned out en masse every week.Tossed aside and the latest knob twiddled Acid spun for the kids at the weekend. Having said that early versions of Phuture's Acid Trax were played off of cassettes were they not?

This stuff was obviously never going to Chart, so these disc's were stuck at the back of the DJ's record bag, until rediscovers for Old Skool nights in the 90's

A Sleezy .D anthem about coming up on Ecstasy, which suited Madchester at The Hacienda in 1988,whose owners dated back to the doom rock of Joy Division, who crooned about "She's Lost Control";but now it became more inwardly looking,dancing like a nut job in their own personal space rather caring about anyone else, luvved up on 'E's, back when losing control was a thing to be celebrated......we know better now,if only we could remember our own names?

Tracklist:

Space Side:
A I've Lost Control 11:37
House Side:
B I've Lost Control (House Side) 9:45

DOWNLOAD under control HERE!

Mr. Fingers – "Washing Machine / Can You Feel It / Beyond The Clouds (Trax Records – TX127) 1986

 

Under the guise of Mr Fingers,aka Larry Heard,the inventor of House music,one can certainly feel the transition from Disco to House to Acid House occurring before our very ears.The difference between standard House and Acid House being,a bit of knob twiddling,and some rubbish electronics rescued from the orphanage of Electronica.

Its hard to imagine now, but these tunes,especially "Can You Feel It" entered many a young persons Brain like a parasite, and seemed to infect everyone who heard, or Misheard it.Partly because it sounded like NOTHING else on earth at the time.

I don't normally approve of such linguistic aberrations as Important,or Seminal to ever leave my magical fingers, but.....This really is one of the most important records in the history of 20th century music......probably!?
I Larry Heard someone say that somewhere, and thought maybe it was a fact.Sitting on my arrogant perch in 1986,looking down on it all with a Billy Idol sneer; i would never have uttered such a superlative ever, especially for what I would have considered silly Disco music......but maybe it is?.....Innit?

This was all created in the post warehouse clubs of clubland,and the fact that all these places are in severe financial woe, and Gen Z ain't interested,means that stuff with this impact will never be created ever again.The time is nigh kids, for the new Acid House Revival to kick ass in the green belt of the UK,so dust off your smiley emoji's and get those Cows dancing again on lab tested Ecstasy,leeching it into the milk cartons of the Elysian Fields of all Phuture dancing idiots the world over. 

Tracklist:

A1 Washing Machine 4:24
A2 Can You Feel It 5:45
B Beyond The Clouds 7:55

DOWNLOAD until you can feel it HERE!

Just-Ice – "Back To The Old School"(Fresh Records – LPRE-1) 1986

Okay!I like the cover of this misogynistic Old School Gangsta shiesterwerk. ......that just about sums it all up. You know what its gonna sound like,and I'm straining at the leash to make any quips concerning the word "ICE". That being the American acronym  equivalent of Ernst Rhome's storm-trooper Brownshirts.

If you're watching this from the Future please don't make me explain,....we're actually living in this nightmare, do your facebook research, USA 2026.

However like Ernst Rhome,,the current bright orange object we call president Donald J. Trump, likes it up the arse apparently...according to his sister that is......but lying doesn't run in the family does it? (Uhum)

His child abuse years(fucked mercilessly by his dad),certainly brought out the rapist in him,and he definitively has the wit of a Rapist...this is because he IS a Rapist,..as proven in a court of law.

Please Future person,it may seem hilarious to you, but it ain't funny,I'll tell ya that!

Yup, an unstable malignant narcissist  controls the most powerful army in the world,and has his stumpy pink fingers drooling on the Nuclear button....which, if pressed,will result in the loss of any one here from the future before they were born!.....Yeah Who's laughing Now!?..huh?...in the meantime,pop back into the past and put a fiver on Leicester City to win the Premier League Title in 2016, at 5000/1 which was larger odds than the existence of the Loch Ness Monster!...i'll be around to collect tomorrow.

Tracklist:

1 Cold Gettin' Dumb 4:30
2 Love Story 4:52
3 Back To The Old School 4:48
4 Latoya 4:10
5 Gangster Of Hip Hop 5:06
6 Little Bad Johnny 3:28
7 Put The Record Back On 3:51
8 Turbo Charged 5:08

9 Cold Gettin' Dumb II 6:33 10 That Girl Is A Slut 5:16

DOWNLOAD and get back to school HERE!

Angel Death – "Death To Christianity" (Angel Death Self-released cassette)1986

 Not to be confused with the far more successful, Death Angel...although it's not too difficult to achieve such a lofty status.....;Angel Death,make a shittier than thou form of Death Metal Shit-Fi.

They said 'They Couldn't Play' about the Sex Pistols, which was in fact total Bollocks, But these Italian would be harbingers of Death make the Pistols sound like King Crimson.

They wish Death To Christianity,but you can't kill an Idea, can you? Most of the triple X-Rated old Testament could do with a woke re-vamp ,but i'd urge the Cult of MAGA to put their Bible, "The Art Of The Deal" on a special Fire ,the Fire of Freedom we call it, along with all monotheistic brainwashing manuals,including Dianetics , and have a very overdue party.

Tracklist:

A1 Intro 0:34
A2 Angel Of Death 3:27
A3 Disaster 3:23
A4 Bestial Attack 3:18

DOWNLOAD into the fiery furnaces of Hell HERE! 

Various Artists - "Cultural Terror Volume 1 and 2 (" a Zeal SS Sampler) (Zeal SS – .77) 1986

Well, i've never been more insulted in my life!?...these chaps seem to think Nazi's are great blokes, shocking. I've a good mind to phone the bizzies * (*a collective scouse noun for the police in Liverpool". The one man Power Electronics band, Con-Dom, used to grope female members of the ,admittedly very small, audience....until attitudes on such behaviour changed in recent years. His act would now result in serious jail time for sexual assault,all in the name of Shock Value......but that's Rock'n'Roll innit?

Most of the acts on this patience testing double C-60, spend most of their time being Whitehouse for five minutes or so,with seemingly very little interest in doing otherwise; ironic as William Bennett (the bloke in Whitehouse) himself has very little time for a few of the acts/bands featured on this exceedingly nasty compilation.

What my mother must have thought when she brought a cup of Tea up to my bedroom in the early 80's I'll never know. She seemed oblivious to the 'orrible racket emanating from these tapes,and other similar recordings of the time.Not as shocking as one may think.Similarly, my father seemed equally disinterested in the scraping and rumbling upstairs,even when one of Hitlers speeches blasted out of the noise and echoed down the street. No-one else seemed to give a Fuck either.....and y'know what I think they were right.

In the desperate struggle to achieve shock value ,the creators of this non-musicianly cacophony forgot one thing,'avoid being boring'.

I'm desensitized to noise in general,so for me,a subtle splash of melody here and there could only add to the Horror,like in a John Carpenter film......admittedly there are a couple of tracks which do have these qualities on here,but another thirty or so that certainly do not.

Don't let this put you off if you haven't yet been numbed to shock values.....exposure to such oscilloscope breaking phenomena is essential if you want to advance oneself in the subtler arts of music,and put the Roland space-echo and Hitlers' Speeches LP out to pasture.

Yeah,that's Right, I Like this tape.....a-lot.

I just wanna hear something I haven't heard before.
 

Tracklist:

Volume 1:

A1 ESP Kinetic– The Message Is No Message 4:21
A2 Stasis– Blurrb 2:14
A3 Der Verboten and Tabu – Untitled 3:01
A4 Ashenden– Corrosion 2:00
A5 -– A Return To Hohta 2:08
A6 Con-Dom– The Coming Of Christ 2:44
A7 Human Trapped Rhythms– And To Z With Human Trapped Rhythms 4:42
A8 Pax Romana– Songs Of The Distorted Mind 2:51
A9 The Grey Wolves– No New Jerusalem 3:48
A10 The Unkommunity– Sense Of Unmaking 3:54
B1 Irritant– The Disaster Area 4:00
B2 Ashenden– Catamite 2:45
B3 Con-Dom– Live Assault 1 & 4 3:15
B4 The Unkommunity– Dhol Chants 3:28
B5 La Otra Cara De Un Jardin– Brikolage 1:59
B6 White Hand– 2nd Edition 3:03
B7 Do Easy– Death In A Milan Square 3:30
B8 Ramleh And Irritant– Tomorrow We Live 9:57Volume 2:

 

Ramleh And Irritant– Tomorrow We Live 9:57
C1 C,llaaps– Plenty Of Pricks 3:53
C2 Comando Bruno– Clise Hermetico 2:10
C3 Bomb The Daynursery– William Bennett... 5:04
C4 Face In The Crowd - New 7th Music– Glider 2:25
C5 Adventures Of Twizzle– Krafty Whank 2:34
C6 Con-Dom– Calling All Aryans 2:04
C7 No Lie G.I.– Sin Loi Victor Charlie 3:40
C8 Aspisis– The Glory Of Punishment 1:10
C9 Apostles and Mesh – Visions Of The End 2:45
C10 The Unkommunity– Ex-Oblivione 2:14
C11 The Grey Wolves And Con-Dom– Intolerable 1:28
D1 Nails Ov Christ– Beat Of The Blood 4:42
D2 Con-Dom– Our Pleasure In The Pain 2:30
D3 Final– Inheritance 4:15
D4 Opera For Infantry– 20th Century Genocide 4:31
D5 Blacksirt Orch – Ode To The Young Men 4:03
D6 Kapotte Muziek– Gematria 1:01
D7 Nails Ov Christ– Dark Night Of The Soul 2:50
D8 Final– Execution Of The Will 6:22
D9 The Alternative – How Dare You 1:52

DOWNLOAD the sheer terror of melody HERE!

Various Artists – "Tickled Pink" (Peeved Records – PV021) 1986

One of a few Cambridge compilations from Peeved Records, unfathomably based in Southampton?

It kicks off with some mannered Indie Pop by, according to Discogs, one of the 96 other bands called "Spike". If that was out of a hundred it would correlate with the fact that 96% of all bands in the UK sounded exactly like this in 1985 to '86. Marking the era when everyone had a Portastudio, nice equipment,and knew how to use it. As a result everyone sounded the same.

It was all 'well played' ,enhanced with cheaply available effects unit,and they all thought they were gonna 'make it'. The result is really rather dreadful, as they themselves would have found the DIY stuff from earlier in the decade, which these self-tutored pop stars in their own lunchtimes would have scoffed at, and binned off in favor of sounding like Aztec Camera....WRONG!

Its rather like a teenagers painting, when they try their upmost to be a sophisticate;leaving the real genius of their earlier years gathering dust in the garbage bin. Only a few get to make art decent enough to break through to win the poverty that awaits them.

Although missing the point entirely, the end result is actually rather quaint? Awwww, bless 'em.

The High Tech Pagodas win the silliest name prize,and also the best track award....what on earth were they doing?

Tracklist:

A1 Spike – I Feel You
A2 Spike – Any Choice
A3 The Force – Sweet Little Girl
A4 The Force – Crazy Affair
A5 Vanishing Point– From The Heart
A6 Vanishing Point– Face To Face
A7 The High Tech Pagodas– Free
B1 The Lovely– Aniel I Said
B2 The Lovely– Catherine
B3 Strange Brew – Don't Wanna Be Lonely
B4 Strange Brew – Normandy Sunset
B5 Worlds End Band– The Party
B6 Worlds End Band– The Party Of Light
B7 The Lonely – Nervous Hand
B8 The Lonely – Something Happened Today

DOWNLOAD and have your pink bits tickled HERE!

WCKR SPGT – "The Charles Mansion: A Rock Opera By WCKR SPGT" (Traumatone – TT28) 1986

 

Another band name that won't get you on the Billboard Hot Ten Million,or even featured in a liberal conversation on the subject of obscure bands,because no-one can remember the name or pronounce it. Prince tried it with his 'symbol' concept,and that went tits-up, as did that eighties band, belatedly called Freur,when previously they only had a prince before Prince symbol as their moniker.Sadly, I am informed, Freur went on to become the profoundly irritating one hit wonder middle-aged ravers,Underworld,or was that Underpants?

The Freur symbol as seen on their smash 1983 number 17 hit in New Zealand, "Doot Doot".

I suppose WCKR SPGT come under the pranksters with lucrative day-jobs category, the UK equivalent  being something like The Ceramic Hobs, or Danny and the Dressmakers.

Apparently they've released a new album called "Hackney Diamonds", which by sheer coincidence happens to be the title of the new Rolling Stones album.Ho! Ho! Those cheeky Monkeys.

Skipping through their long established website, I spotted one Michael Gerald ,late of the group Killdozer contributing vocals on a duet with an Wckr Spgt-er, so they must be ok...yeah?

However, what fooled me into taking notice was the enticing prospect of some complete idiot making a Charles Manson Musical.

Only later did I realise that the title spelled Mansion and not Manson...i felt cheated,but isn't that what this lot are all about?

Merry Pranksters in the tradition of the KLF and Negativland, but with shitter music.

They must all be well in their 60's by now, having formed in 1981,but they're still chucking out the pranks it seems....and why the fuck not?

Oh,.... the music?

Its lo-fi DIY in the style we all know and love.Lots of echo on the Resident-esque hi-pitched vocals,with what hints at Harmoniser ownership in places;further raising my suspicious shell-likes to the well-paid dilettante possibilities, as an eventide Harmonizer cost a kings ransom back in the 80's. These chaps had a well paid job or two in their ranks.

Disappointed at the lack of a Manson Musical on these cassettes,a lead role tailor made for Michael Ball,and Ashley Banjo's Diversity street dancers as the Family....ON ICE!....wow!? I will now have to console myself with a fun moment, thinking only of my fantasy Rock-Opera Musicals.....someone already did "Plan Nine From Outer-space" didn't they...bastards!

I've got lots of Idea's for a musical about the Waco Siege,featuring Wayne Sleep as David Koresh? its just the problem as to who owns the copyright to Koresh's songs?

If its his surviving kids, forget it...they think I'm an Asshole....which isn't entirely inaccurate one must admit!?...you didn't know I was so Humble did you?

I'll suggest a Lucy Letby musical to my fellow justice seekers, including some dancing Babies and Michael Flatley as an evil jewish senior Doctor disguised as a loveable Irish consultant......P.S. have you selfish fuckers signed the free Lucy Letby Petition yet?...NO?...FFS...click here then!?

Tracklist:

No Sign of Danger

Ox Chase

The Girl (Still Running)

The House On The Hillside Strangler

In Retrospect

No Sign Of Danger 2

Goodbye Ox

Should I go in?

The Charles Mansion

Rude Awakening

Uninvited Guest At A Dinner Party

Everything's Scary

The Back yard

Respect For Lawnmowers

Unfair Prospect

Big-Faced Girl

History repents

Because(She'll do anything)

Elegant Dirt

Lost in Texas

Intuition and Stupidity

Elegant Dirt 2

Should I go Inside

Lifting the Tissue

A Thousand Hail Mary's

She Lies

Tarla Walks

I'll See You In Heaven

No Sign Of Danger

Getting to the Root

Pursuit

Escape

After The fact

Charles Mansion

Epilogue

The Charles Mountain

Folkal Point

The Cleaning Of the Rock

Getting It Down

God Talks To The Man and The Ox

Tustin Coin-op

The Ox Strikes Back

The Apology(Accepted)

God Starts To Cry

To The Bronx

Memories Of a Recent Journey

The Finding Of The Foot

Back at The Charles Mountain

DOWNLOAD from as far off broadway as you can possibly imagine HERE!

Mark Shreeve – "No Holes Barred" (Church Road Records - MCCR6) 1986

 

From the less precious end of the recent deaths in music trophy cabinet, comes one of the more 'successful' prime movers in the UK Electronic Underground of the early eighties; as epitomised by such labels as Colin Potters Integrated Circuit Records.

Mark Shreeve left world stage around the end of August this year,but again no one told me!? He features quite extensively in these pages,mainly for his DIY cred rather than his late period plinky plonky electronic Space rock and Jean MIchel Jarre-isms.

This self-released cassette shows us Marks jauntier side,with some largely inadvisable Prog Rock humour risk of recording Farts and Belches;as Roger Waters and Ron Geesin had an annoying penchant for.

Yes, Mark had just bought an Emulator Mark 1 in 1986, and there were certainly No Holes Barred for the prog novelty title track, where Mr Shreeve's Digestive Tract gets an unwelcome credit. Yeah, we all did it as soon as we got our old skool samplers out of their box? The Burp was utilised intermediately,with that generous 0.8 seconds of sampling time at the lowest Bit-Rate ......oh how we laughed....but at least we didn't sample the Dog,as Simon Cowell did early in his career disguised as "Wonder Dog",and his 1982 hit "Ruff Mix"...geddit? 

Although Cowell had access to £20,000 quids worth of Fairlight Aampling System to totally waste.....unlike Paul Hardcastles N.N.N.N.N.Nineteen,not?

Sad to say that Shreeve's "No Holes Barred" never cracked the top ten,unlike the previously mentioned atrocities did.

Personally I had to make do with my Commodore 64,equipped with a jolly expensive Sampling module attached at the back for my first sampling experience,which was, you guessed it, sampling a Burp!

Who needed a Fairlight in 1984 when you had this?...notice how none of the kids on the cover are sampling Farts or Burps.....obviously Posh Kids.

 

This was repeated several years later with a purchase of an Ensonique Mirage.You can't beat the old ones can you?

Well, there was one more Hole for Mark to use, unbarred to everyone, and that was his Grave.In which he now rests his plinky plonky fingers,and has given us all some much deserved peace.

I do however notice, that quite a few of these tracks do seem to harbor an unhealthy obsession with,...gulp... Death, 'the proud brother' as Criswell of 'Plan Nine from Outer Space' fame used to call it....a lot.

Shreeves' early work is rather good actually,if you like Tangerine Dream that is.

Tracklist:

A1 M.A.D. 4:33
A2 Crash Head (Early Mix) 4:05
A3 High Frontier 4:52
A4 Edge Of Darkness (Early Mix) 5:35
A5 Bandit 3:38
B1 Widowmaker 3:51
B2 One Last Cold Kiss 3:52
B3 Angel Of Death (Live) 11:08
B4 No Holes Barred 1:47

DOWNLOAD through the hole of this HERE!

The Astronauts – "Soon" (All The Madmen Records – MAD 11) 1986

"Who d'you fink you are?.....Lol Coxhill?" once did say Johnny Moped as Xerxes whipped out a saxophone. One of the many great quotes from the as yet unwritten Bible of Rock'n'roll.

"Who do you think you are?....Lol Coxhill??" (note the better spoken style text).....once did Mark Astronaut sayeth,not!

"Er...Yes",spake Lol Coxhill,who actually did appear on the first half of an Astronauts album. 

The 21st century version of his name, a contraction of Lawrence, now translates as "Laugh Out Loud',but nobodies laughing anymore. What this versatile master of the UK improvisation scene,and erstwhile member of the London Musicians Collective is doing on an album by semi-legendary anarcho hippy folk punk UK DIY band from Welwyn Garden City, otherwise known as The Astronauts, is anybodies guess;but check the record,check the guys track record;he put himself about a bit.....he is most definitely NOT appreciated.(Note the clever Fall references).....as is not Mark Astronaut himself.

Personally, i'd remove most of the sax wailing from the mix if I had the chance.

This is one of those records that you'd like to remix.....this'll be fun.......such as......I'd turn up the phasing on "Strictly Personal",remove the string sections from Bryter Layter, re-record the drums on "Loveless" and replace those sampler tone wheel guitar things with the real thing. I'd also erase "Bat Out Of Hell completely,and that sodding Gun'n'Roses LP too,no lips shall speak its name.....not so much a remix in those cases, more like retribution for past evil unleashed....not yer proper Evil either,a special shit kind of Evil.Erase them from history please Satan for devaluing your kind legacy,or give us the power O lord and master,and we shall skip joyfully into the flames.

In fact, if ever there were two albums that Lol Coxhill could have guested on it should have been those two atrocities.

Only when something's gone does one truly appreciate it's previous existence. And i'm not talking about Bat Out of Hell and that other one...oh yeah Bat Out Of Hell 2 ...I'm talking about The Astronauts ain't I? Since the noble DIY hippy-punk himself Mark Astronaut bought a one way ticket into infinity a couple of weeks ago.

So forgive me if you wanted more Rock In Opposition obscurities ,this is a much delayed tribute to the Bard of Welwyn garden City.

I do have the enviable quality of being a fickle and shallow hypocrite,son't you wish you were like me?

Said with no pretense of pride,I admit to being a bit hard on The Astronauts in the past,in fact most of the Anarcho-Punk scene.Over the past 13 years of this blog,I have slowly shifted my attitude to that trustafarian army......it's all grown on me hasn't it!? The Mob and Rudimentary Peni,were always a subject of my fickle admiration. Don't misunderstand me, the soapboxey nature of the sickening self-righteousness still makes me wanna vomit,but I have projected it all in a pissy yellowlight of charm for oneself. I now find myself thinking "Awww bless 'em" whenever Flux Of Pink Indians tells me of the horrors of a nuclear death....again!Even Crass...."AWWWWW Bless their little black cotton socks".

The Astronauts have been elevated over the years into the Mob/Rudimentary Peni division,having won on penalties in the play-offs......The Subhumans lost again,joining Zounds pressing for promotion from the 2nd tier again next year.

Now I listen joyfully to The Astronauts as a great lost Pop Band,in the same way as i was slowly converted to thoroughly enjoy REM.(!Guilt wot Guilt?) Funnily enough both groups have a certain Folky quality that i find rather appealing.

The Astronauts have gigs booked until October I notice.....sadly these will have to be fulfilled on the Astral Plain,as Mark succumbed to his own debated mortality......yet Bono lives!

NB:

This album consisted of some new material (A1-B1) and re-release of old tracks (B2-B5) taken from the original singles (literally, as the masters had gone missing).
New material recorded Dec. '85.
Old tracks 1979 - 1980.

Tracklist:

A1 Friends 5:53
A2 Books 3:12
A3 Blues For A Sceptic 7:13
A4 The Birds 9:04
B1 Following Orders 5:05
B2 Survivors 5:45
B3 All Night Party 2:40
B4 Young Man's World 4:19
B5 We Were Talking 4:28

DOWNLOAD as soon as possible HERE!

Les Batteries – "Noisy Champs" (AYAA – DT 0486) 1986

This Heat's influence,or,connections with the French underground seems to be somewhat larger then expected,as here we find The Heats erstwhile drummer and singer, Mr Charles Hayward, hooking up with another couple of  other drummer boys,....namely French 'rock in opposition' bloke Guigou Chenevier, and some geezer called Rick Brown.....yes THEE Rick Brown.......nah! I haven't heard of him either! But Rick probably hasn't heard of us too so we're quits!?

Three Drummers Drumming,as it doesn't say in the famed Christmas carol, but three,yes,THREE,drummers does indeed apply here! Can you imagine the creative arguments in a band with three drummers? As Gary Glitter and Adam Ant can testify, two drummers max in a band, or there's gonna be trouble. In fact it was Drummer trouble that ended Adam and The Ants and burdened the world with Adam's much maligned Solo career. With Glitter, the obvious problem was,funnily enough, actually Glitter himself(a fine example of a singer that hangs out with musicians).

Drummers are famously the guys who do hang around with musicians.The guys who die mysteriously,choke 'ON' vomit,aren't needed outside of touring, and are forever trying to impose their daft ideas on the rest of the group; like John Bonham's 'Moby Dick', or Rat Scabies' "Stab yor Back", as if trying,accidentally of course, to move that hilarious joke well into the realms of observational comedy.

Y'see, Drummers actually do think they are musicians,and like the stupid son of the family, are always trying to make the audience look at them and see what they're doing.This usually involves hitting the drums as loud as possible,and taking copious amounts of drugs....as in, more than you....look maw I'm Dancin' !

However much the average drummer harbors sparkling  thoughts of their own genius within their considerable ego's ;one has to concede that all this drummer hate certainly does NOT apply to the great Charles Haywood, or his vocal sound-a-like Bobby Wyatt,who are indeed the granddaddies of the Rock In Opposition fad of the late seventies, otherwise known as Prog Rock under any other name.

So, what we expect are three drummers busting their balls trying to Out-paradiddle each other,and to impress each other with their rudimentary talents on 'other' instruments.

It's kinda Punk without the Punk, and This Heat without the Heat, which leaves us with.... 'This'?

Haywoods vocals are as vulnerable and Wyatt-esque as This Heat and Camberwell Now, which adds much needed identity to the dreary Drum-Off. So when Haywood didn't turn up for the follow up albums,they just ended up sounding like Camberwell Now but without the tunes.

An obvious, but bold Idea, balancing precariously on the round shoulders of the limited tonal range of a well tuned drum kit.

Tracklist:

1.Noisy Champs
2.Sunday And Dimanche
3.Identity Parade
4.Polar
5.Post-Polar
6.Dernier Solo Avant L'Autoroute
7.White Elegance
8.The Letter
9.Dernier Rendez-Vous Au Gord
10.Flintstone
11.Maksymenko
12.3 Hommes Et Un Mouchoir

TELECHARGE this assault on les batteries ICI!

Algebra Suicide – "Big Skin" (Buzzerama Records) 1986

From the Sahara desert to the urban deserts of the USA we stoop to the default setting of spoken word synth punk duo's, and Algebra Suicide, from the windy city of Chicago.

Award winning ,it says here, high brow minimal synth duo with humble beginnings during the american cassette underground peak years.I say'High Brow' because they dangerously flirt with the word 'poetry',primarily because talking over an electronic backing is easier than singing,or even finding a singer to deliver your deadpan wordy litanies to the rigid beats of a drum machine.

There is a suggestion of a John Cooper Clarke and The Invisible Girls influence in some of the tunes and the inevitable sprinkling of Girono Poetry Systems. The words are suitably dark enough to gain one's attention and may or may not hint, at a sense of humour. 

The deadpan poets society.

Tracklist:

A1 After Charles 2:23
A2 Seasonal Zombies 3:00
A3 Little Dead Body Poem 4:45
A4 Proverbial Explanation For Why No Action Is Taken 2:28
A5 After Rilke 2:15
A6 No War Bride 1:25
A7 Tractor Pull 2:20
B1 Sub Rosa 1:40
B2 Horizon 2:40
B3 Amusing One's Self 2:15
B4 Seven Song 6:50
B5 Please Respect Our Decadence 2:15
B6 Alphabet Song 3:05

DOWNLOAD as words desert me HERE!

We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use It – "The BBC Sessions 1986/1987" (Cherry Red – CDMRED 213) 2002

Without fail,the best moments in any bands history are the first things they do.

As a subscriber to the "First Thought Best Thought school of hard knocks",this quaint attempt at Folk-Art philosophy  should be carved on the stone tablets which emerged when the rock'n'roll Moses rose from the swamps with the Eleven Commandments of Rock clasped under his sweaty armpits.

Another rule scratched clumsily on these holy tablets is don't sign contracts with any entertainment industry conglomerate.

Sadly, "Fuzzbox"...as they came to be known after they signed a contract with an entertainment industry conglomerate..., didn't follow these simple rules,and rapidly became rubbish. Sadly not the first time this was to happen, mainly due to the vulgar pursuit of the mighty Dollah!.

Happily these girls were avid exponents of the "First Thought Best Thought"(or even better No thought No Thought!) process that pervades all great art,and were captured in their natural state,once again, by the BBC.As were The Slits a decade earlier. Nascent Fuzzbox were saved for posterity by the public service corporation of Great Britain,while Fuzzbox were still a new born phenomenon, and still called "We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use It".

I did type previously that all 21st century girl groups are shit in comparison.One was just paraphrasing/plagiarising a fellow blogger,honest guvn'r (Creepscanner)....strictly for shock effect mind.

The rather wonderful Wet Leg seem to be reviving the lost tradition of Girl groups who just wanna have a jolly good larf,and what are you gonna do about it? Hopefully they will curb the tide of dull post-hiphop nonsense that make up the majority of nominees for the joyless Mercury Music Prize 2022.You know what I mean,the Rap Singers.You've seen 'em on the Top Of The Pops..they used to go on there,you've seen 'em.The Rap singers.Y'know,The Rappers,Rap singers.Round the back of the multistory,...The Rap Singers.......

The tracks in these BBC sessions are frozen moments in time when these 2 minute symphonies were in their raw primal state,like Lionesses prowling the monochrome Savannah lands of Birmingham(UK).....dyed Pink of course.

Peel Session-Tracks 1 to 4: ℗ 1986 BBC. First transmitted 10/3/86
Janice Long Session-Tracks 5 to 9: ℗ 1986 BBC. First transmitted 10/4/86
Peel Session-Tracks 10 to 14: ℗ 1986 BBC. First transmitted 11/8/86
Janice Long Session-Tracks 15 to 18: ℗ 1987 BBC. First transmitted 12/1/87

Tracklist:

1 Aaarrrrggghhh!!! 2:23
2 Fever 2:25
3 Rules & Regulations 2:51
4 Justine 2:09
5 Aaarrrrggghhh!!! 2:25
6 Love Is The Slug 2:16
7 Hollow Girl 3:18
8 Console Me 1:33
9 Spirit In The Sky 3:03
10 You Got Me 3:43
11 Preconceptions 2:32
12 Jackie 2:35
13 She 4:02
14 Bohemian Rhapsody 5:18
15 Wait & See 2:11
16 Self 2:37
17 What's The Point 2:24
18 High Hopes 1:04

DOWNLOAD from the rich savannah lands of eighties pop HERE!

We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use it - "Bostin' Steve Austin" (Vindaloo Records – FBOX 1) 1986

Also on Robert Lloyd of The Nightingales fame's Vindaloo Records,and touring mates of Ted Chippington, were the snappily named 'We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use it' from the home of heavy metal, Birmingham England....... 

As the much missed Jerry Orbach once said....(Who?)...

"Maybe this isn't your cuppa, but I'll cop to my fetish for 80's ladies. Why did they just seem so much more fun? When did girls just become so dour? Just look at the photo and tell me when you see girls like this anymore. You don't. Then again, if you read this blog it's unlikely that you see any girls aside from your mom and porn. At the risk of sounding like a misogynist, there's tons of girl bands out there now that really wish they could be this good, but, unfortunately they are shit. To this day, I wonder what ever became of these ladies. It's my debilitating laziness that prevents me from typing the band into google and actually find out. Some things are better kept as memories."

Nowadays the only 80's ladies I come across (Phnaar Phanaar) are ladies IN their 80's rather than ladies FROM thee 80's....oh by the way, the guitary-one with the star-shaped shades died about a decade ago.....cancer.

Of course, it all went tits up when Closet Gaylord Geffen got wind of it....prized them from Vindaloo,and shortened their name to just..."Fuzzbox",and insisted on hit singles and the like.

Why are major record labels such eternally blocked toilets of pure shite? They observe something the public like then change it,and sell a crapper version of it back to them.

Tracklist:

A1 Love Is The Slug 3:06
A2 Wait And See 2:15
A3 Jackie 2:39
A4 Spirit In The Sky 3:05
A5 X X Sex 1:59
A6 Alive 2:17
B1 What's The Point 2:27
B2 You Got Me 3:35
B3 Hollow Girl 3:09
B4 Console Me 1:27
B5 Rules And Regulations 2:48
B6 Preconceptions 2:32

DOWNLOAD it HERE and stuff!

Ted Chippington – "Man In A Suitcase" (Vindaloo Records – YUS 6) 1986

"I was walking down the road the other day, this chap comes up to me; he says, "I've just got back from 'Nam." I said, "What d'you mean mate, Vietnam?" He says, "No, Chelt-'nam"

There used to be a TV series called the Man in a Suitcase,made by the same folks (ITC entertainment) who did The Champions,Department S,Randall and Hopkirk(deceased)and the like. Endless fun was had watching all this stuff the second time round in the afternoon TV schedules  when I made the fatal error of working from home in the eighties;which roughly translated, means watching TV all day with me mates.Luckily I was on benefits at the same time(illegal),and lived at home with me lovely mam and dad,may their souls rest in piece.

The same time period was fleshed out in the comedy department by 'Top Comedian' Ted Chippington,whose main aim in showbiz was to alienate the audience by being 'crap'.Frequently he found himself as the support act for such hip acts as the Fall and The Nightingales,whose Vindaloo label released Ted's records.Ted's thing was not to make audiences laugh but to get up their noses. Or, as he puts it himself: "To make the main band seem better."

With a deadpan drawl and the sort of punchline-less gags that would leave the average punter baffled (it doesn't take much). Invariably starting "I was walking down the road the other day...", Ted's jokes were anti-climatic nuggets of pathos, dressed up as surrealistic nonchalance.The kind of empty chit-chat you hear between persons of a certain age at the fruit and veg stall down the market.

"I was walking down the road the other day, this chap walked up to me and said 'Do you want to buy some grass, mate?' I said 'No thanks, mate, I've got crazy paving. Haven't got a garden, you see.'"

He was a refreshing change from those facking awful shouty shouty left wing "Alternative" comedian bastards of the time(yawn),like cheeky faux cockney jack the lad middle class champagne socialist Ben Elton,and the jokeless drama they called "The Young Ones".....we wanted an alternative to all that shouty Thatcher baiting boredom, and Ted provided it....at least until he went on the Vindaloo tour of America and never came back. I don't know how his routine went down in America....do any video's exist? The man himself explains: "I tried to make a career there," he explains. "The Americans were surprisingly responsive but it never really took off. It's such a big place. I stayed there til I couldn't afford it."

He's back now, and resurrecting his career...what career? Still on tour with The Nightingales....the best gig in any town is that one.

"I look forward to when I've got a car and I can drive down the road, so I won't get all these characters coming up to me."

Tracklist:

A1 Introduction
A2 Rock'n'Roll on 33
A3 Ready Eddie
A4 Life On The Road
A5 Rocking Ribbons
A6 Comedian By Trade
A7 She Loves You
A8 Interview
B1 Feel Like Buddy Holly
B2 True Greatness
B3 Atmosphere

B4 True Stories
B5 Rocking With Rita
B6 Weirdness Oh No
B7 BRMB
B8 Cheers

DOWNLOAD about here...roughly speaking 

Various Artists – "Ideal Guest House" (Shelter) 1986 & "The First After Epiphany" (Ron Johnson Records – ZRON 21) 1987

As I received a request for a Ron Johnson compilation,it reminded me of the official comedian attached to this shambling Ron Johnson style stuff, Ted "I was Walking Down the Road" Chippington. I'm not sure if he was into this kind of popular music,but he was enlisted to be the compare of this trendy compilation cassette to support homeless charity "Shelter"; which is rather apt as we are facing the largest homeless crisis in Europe since world war too. Its time to start world war Free (dom) innit? I am of course referring to the current Invasion of Ukraine by that nice Mr Putin man....just in case you are part of the uninformed majority,or living in Russia....in which case i have to inform you that your army has been committing War crimes against your Slavic brothers in the west.....basically you're fucked.

The drole monotone self-elected worst comedian in the world ever Ted,links together a bunch of shambling C86-era,Johnson related groups in his characteristic stoic manner...at times he's even funny!?

Its got Bog-Shed and bIG fLAME on it, what more could you want or need?......just ignore the Chumbawamba track,...oooooh, they didn't like Neil Kinnock.....edgy stuff not, nuff said.

Tracklist:

A1 Big Flame– Man Of Few Syllables
A2 The Wedding Present– You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends (alt Version)
A3 The Soup Dragons– Fair's Fair
A4 The Creepers– Sharper And Wider
A5 The Shop Assistants – Home Again (Live)
A6 The June Brides– This Town (Accoustic)
A7 Rob Grant with Yeah Yeah Noh– Mr. Hammond Has Breakfast In Bed
B1 Stump– Kitchen Table
B2 The Legend!– Everythings Coming Up Roses
B3 Pigbros– Barren Land
B4 Stitched Back Foot Airman– The Deadly Spore
B5 BMX Bandits– Sad?
B6 Bog-shed – Jobless Youngsters
B7 Chumbawamba– Kinnochio

DOWNLOAD and give these tracks a home HERE!

Oh Yeah!...here's that Ron Johnson sampler LP "The First After Epiphany" that i mistakenly thought had no exclusive tracks on it, and you could get them from the other official releases on the blog if you search for Ron Johnson Records. I was wrong, There's at least a Twang! track that one can't get elsewhere,and maybe an errant Splat! number,or anything else with an exclamation mark in it's name:

"The First After Epiphany"
Ron Johnson Records – ZRON 21 (1987)

Tracklist:

A1 Splat!– Mistook
A2 Big Flame– XPQWRTZ
A3 A Witness– Dipping Bird
A4 Stump– Big End
A5 MacKenzies– Man With No Reason
B1 The Shrubs– Blackmailer
B2 The Ex– Knock
B3 Twang – Here's Lukewarm
B4 The Nose Flutes– Bodyhair Up In The Air
B5 The Great Leap Forward– Drowning Speechless
B6 Jackdaw With Crowbar– Crow

DOWNLOAD this epiphanal moment HERE!

Poison – "Awakening Of The Dead" (Self-released Demo) – BFM 003 1986

By Demo,or Demon,number III, Poison have finally worked out how to operate a mixer,and we can hear all the instruments. Now I can reveal that the Bass Player ,called...don't laugh....Incubus Demon......(muffled giggle)....has lifted the one size fits all Bass riffage from Saxon,whose every song used a one note E-string drone for virtually every tune they did.....just like Lemmy,and probably the four stringed Satan who was in Venom too.....i'm guessing here as I'm not too familiar with Venom's seminal works.

Poison's guitar sound is ruthless as always,the vocals are customarily indecipherable ,but they still retain that special live in the replica Gas Chamber at Auschwitz ambiance. If you ever visit that Nazi Disneyland for ghouls and fools (Don't),test out the acoustics of the Gas Chamber with the impertinent question "Is this the original Gas Chamber or is it a post war replica?"...and count the evil looks cast in your direction......names will be taken.

Metal ,in general, is a difficult thing to admit liking. Saying "I'm into Metal" is tantamount to admitting you're a Virgin,or have no Friends,or were bullied at school. On an anthropological note, I did note that the Bully's were usually Soul fans, and the Bullied were invariably followers of the infinite varieties of Heavy metal. Mirroring the Mods and Rockers' running battles of the 1960's. Punks, of course, were a mixture of the two camps,so generally got left alone,unless Skinheads were in the vicinity....this is why 'Oi' came into existence.

I did get discovered with a Devo album by a gang of Soul-Boys one time,which didn't end well,for me or the Devo LP. Not understanding the appeal of Soul music myself, i guess i lean towards the Metal end of the Pop spectrum,but this doesn't mean I'm a Virgin or totally friendless....although I'm working on that one....because i'm reformed Punk Rocker I suppose? Nowadays I can't stand Punks either.

"Never join a club that would have you as a Member" is my family motto courtesy of Karl Marx's smarter brother....Groucho. 

Tracklist:

...this world (A)

A1 Satan Commands 4:38
A2 Wake The Dead (+Intro) 7:48
A3 Yog-Sothoth 7:34
A4 Antichrist (D.t.C.) - Live '85  3:03

...beyond (B)

B1 Alive (Undead) 6:41
B2 Legions Of Hell (New Version) 8:08
B3 Black Death - Live '85 3:40

DOWNLOAD some german poison live at auschwitz HERE!

Hellhouse – "Burn For Peace" (Self-Released Demo) 1986

These fun chaps seem quite literate for metalheads gone wrong.Quoting George Elliot on Loneliness?

The music is such a bizarre distortion of the original Metal template as to qualify for the 'weird without trying' award of the week.This is the stuff that should be in the Rock'n'Roll hall of fame not REM and the like...although I dunno why I chose REM for special attention,because I like REM.....is Meat Loaf in there? If he is then replace REM with Steinman and Meat,slash,Loaf and jim;but the loaf we all prefer would be Renaldo's Loaf,as in Renaldo and the...surely?Hellhouse is the stuff that Hell is made of, and for.A Hell with Renaldo's Loaf and REM in it is not too bad a place to be,and a Hell with this Hellhouse group in it as the house band is but no Hell at all.

How you can start off with Black Sabbath and end up with this bizarre cocktail of barking and 78rpm riffing is a fascinating process indeed.

Tracklist:

1 KIll Your Mother
2 Meat Cleaver
3 Rape Your Mother
4 Crucified
5 Rage
6 Impaler

DOWNLOAD the exquisite loneliness of hellhouse HERE!

Mayhem – "Pure Fucking Armageddon" (Funny Farm inc) 1986

These Notorious Norwegian metallers were very naughty boys indeed. One could accuse them of taking it all rather too seriously, perhaps even taking it all a tad too far maybe? They nicked their name from Motorhead-a-likes and supposed Black Metal band numero uno,the UK's very own, Venom.So that kinda categorises them I guess?

Some call this Back Metal,or even Death Metal? I dunno,but because they dress like Metal kids with make-up on,does that make this metal? Its got some riffage going on,and hints of growly vocals,singing about ghosties,violence,and pure fucking armageddon.....stuff like that. So I suppose the pure derivative silliness of it all qualifies them as 'Metal'.It just sounds like a bunch of mad noise to me,like an avant-garde interpretation of Metal whith large chunks edited out,the opposite end of Sun(((((0. Basically I dunno what I'm talking about,but I like it...(sing).."Mamaaaa, it's only Black Metal but I like it,I Like It Yes I doooo".

Of course the back story to this band is that some of them actually wanted to back up the rhetoric with actions.So if one of the mis-led young fools said I'm gonna actually live out the the Rock'n'Roll endgame of comitting suicide on stage I'm actually gonna do it.

It all started to go wrong with the addition of new vocalist and grade 'A' nutjob, Per Yngve Ohlin,aka "Dead",who had a nasty habit of cutting himself with hunting knives and broken glass on stage.A cry for help perhaps?

The obviously mentalist Dead,did infact end his own life by slashing his wrists and sucking on a shotgun,but he didn't do it onstage,the sell-out! Here's a short extract from his suicide note:

"Excuse all the blood.Nobody will ever understand this, but as a sort of explanation, I am not human, this is only a dream and soon I will awake".......whoops!....Were still waiting for him to wake up thirty years later.

Then the story gets dafter with  the fatal stabbing of founder member,guitarist Aarseth (Euronymous) by Bassist Varg Vikernes,who was only in the band for a year,but seemed determined to make a bigger splash in the Mayhem legends swimming pool.Varg was also responsible for a string of church arsons for which he was convicted in court.Along with the small matter of first degree murder,the punishment for which was to spend a lenient 21 years or so in the unbridled opulence of those famous Norwegian Prison Cells/luxury flats(although he only served 16 granted parole in 2009!?).Surprisingly,and very un-Norwegian he also had to leave the band,which was then reduced to a duo, temporarily,due to murder,suicide and imprisonment.Incredibly replacements for the vacant positions were not hard to find,not that I would recommend anyone should volunteer for such a poisoned chalice i may add.And they are still churning out the filth today;although they've given up murdering each other,toying with Nazi politics and messing about with shotguns.At least for the present.

Now out of prison for the last decade or so, Varge has not rejoined the band surprisingly,even though he still made solo albums in his prison cell,and now a free man,is still plying his trade as a metal musician in,of all places, France (Shit! I live there!?)....although he may,as a convicted Murderer, Arsonist, and neo-Nazi find it difficult to get a visa to visit any of the many non-EU nations who have a Metal audience interested in this shit.

Yes, its all very fucking silly, but early Mayhem were in fact rather good.Making unlistenable soulless metallic noise that would undoubtedly put the shits up any passing Christian or,even better, Muslim.....so anything that can do that is fine by me.

Suicide, Murder,Arson,stabbings,slashings,atheism,ultra right wing paganism,high speed noise,and all in glorious,atrocious,deafness inducing shit-fi too.What more could anyone possibly want from a pop group? 

Tracklist:

Side Fuck (Studio Quality)
A1 Voice Of A Tortured Skull 2:22
A2 Carnage 4:14
A3 Ghoul 3:31
A4 Black Metal (Total Death Version)2:06
A5 Pure Fucking Armageddon 2:50

Side Off (Unmixed)
B1 Mayhem 1:46
B2 Ghoul 3:43
B3 Pure Fucking Armageddon 2:43
B4 Carnage 4:32

DOWNLOAD the mayhem of mayhem HERE!