Armand Schaubroeck Steals – "A Lot Of People Would Like To See Armand Schaubroeck ... DEAD!" (Mirror Records Inc.) 1972

My father, may their lord rest his soul, could turn every subject or eventuality,no matter how mundane, back on to his favorite item of interest.....World War Two. His whole life was stuck in a short few years in his late teens and early twenties. You name it you could twist it,.....Bay Leaves? Didn't have any of those in the prison camp,we used cats ears as a substitute for the cat stew. No salt for seasoning there,we had salt substitute as provided in our Red Cross parcels.....he could go on forever.Don't mention the War!

I suspect that Armand was the same about his thieving and prison years.

Don't mention Prison whatever you do!

Yeah, we get it, he's been to prison,but is there any need to make a triple album semi-autobiographical Rock opera about it.

Cathartic yes,necessary,most indeed NOT!

This is tailor made for an Off-Broadway musical.

Musically it's Very Mothers Of Invention speech sections meets Lou Reed in a bad musical.

It does however have its amusing parts,and it certainly puts one off from going to jail.Good Cover too.

I would nonetheless, love to play the role of one of the Black convicts as featured on Disc 2.I'd do it better too!

"Sheeeet honky am gonna kick your juicy white aaaaassssss baby."

I suggest that Armand wasn't as brave as the Honky character sounds on the album;but that's artistic licence I suppose?

Apparently you can still purchase sealed copies of the original pressings from Armand's music shop,very Off Broadway in Rochester- New York - "House Of Guitars."

Tracklist:

A1 Scene 1 Armand (17 Yrs. Old) Confesses His Crimes To A Priest "King Of The Streets"
A2 Scene 2 Armand & Dan Go Down To "Rock A Bowl" To Steal Dimes From Bowling Ball Polischers (50's Live Band Plays In Middle) "I Don't Care"
A3 Scene 3 Out On Bail, Armand Is Alone With Suzie (Night Before Sentencing) "Love For The Last Time"
B1 Scene 4 Elmira Bound
B2 Scene 5 Mr. Tomato, The State Public Relations Director Addresses New Inmates
B3 Scene 6 Dr. Leiderman, State Psychologist, Interviews New Jacks Privately To Determine When They Will See The Parole Board And To What Institution The Inmates Will Be Sent "Games"
B4 Scene 7 Why Do Children Steal? (Armand And Dan's Background)
C1 Scene 8 Christmas Eve In Elmira "Cut My Friend Down"
C2 Scene 9 Dr. Leiderman Interviews Howard Q. Sappy Who Was Sent Up For Attempt Of Suicide "Streetwalker"
C3 Scene 10 A Inmate Reminds Armand Of His Girl "The Young Boy"
D1 Scene 11 A Black And White Are Aguing Over A Comic Book Because Each Wants To Look At All The Colors "I Wish To See Color"
D2 Scene 12 Mental Breakdown In Solitary Confinement "Fading Out"
D3 Scene 13 "We, Like Lost Sheep Are Drifting"
E1 Scene 14 New Young Inmate Meets Lifer
E2 Scene 15 Stage Break (Taped Live) "God Damn You"
E3 Scene 16 Friday Night Radio Plays Old Tune Reminding The Population Of The Streets "Sweet Sister Suzie"
E4 "Turn Off The Sound"
E5 Scene 17 Visiting Day
F1 Scene 18 Night Before Parole Board
F2 "One More Day, One More Night"
F3 Scene 19 Parole Board
F4 Scene 20 Hack Talks To Arm On The Way Out "Ex-Con"
F5 Scene 21 Dan & Armand Meet On The Streets While Going To See Parole Officer
F6 Scene 22 "Warden's Circus"

DOWNLOAD this vinyl alcatraz HERE!

David Welsh – "Blue Lightning Accent" (Blue Ash Records – BAR 1850) 1980

This is so outside that I can't find sweet F all about this record on the Information super highway.It sounds not unlike a vinyl record with the center hole punched 2 degrees off kilter,which I think Boyd Rice did on Pagan Musick if I am not mistaken? The off kilter nature of these bizarre structureless tunes however, is nothing to do with mispressed plastic,but a lot to do with either recreational drug use, or prescribed drug use for a severe mental disorder.

Beefheart's Magic Band faced months of poverty and physical abuse to get music like this together,it's just missing Van Vliet's Howlin' Wolf impression;and its certainly much better than any of the Captains post-Decals releases. David Welsh's sleepy singin style, like a tone deaf Robery Wyatt on mogadon, adds a certain splash of vulnerability to proceedings.

The eccentric song structures,drifting Syd Barratt time signatures,with the Madcap Laughs drumming,desperately trying to follow Davids meandering Guitar,is purely unintended.Welsh undoubtedly thinks this album is groundbreaking,and should naturally be number one.He would be correct, but for different reasons than he would think.

In a world where everyone thinks and dresses as if they are a Rock Star, some people should just never pick up a musical instrument....that's right,shit like The 1975, those fucking Vamps, Blink 182...it's as if music was never invented those twats are....but there aren't enough David Welsh's around; lost in the flood of wannabees who think they're David fucking Bowie...the man himself was awful enough without a trail of tattooed and pierced zombie popsters wearing someone else's tattoo's and piercings causes one to wish that the Taliban would come to our rescue and ban music.....Forever! .As Outsiders go,Jandek's broken through to a certain extent on the art luvvie scene, but anything other than a strict 4/4 beat still has the power to start a riot,rather than add to the smooth unchallenging paste that modern muzak has become.

Tracklist:

A1 6's, 9's, Tens & Towers
A2 The Climb Into Heaven
A3 Rock Drummer
A4 Water Fall
B1 Blue Lightning Accent
B2 The Time Is On
B3 Cross Angle
B4 Blue Morning
B5 Keeping Pace

DOWNLOAD like blue lightning HERE!

'Armand Schaubroeck Steals – "I Came To Visit; But Decided To Stay" (Mirror Records Inc. – III) 1974

In 1962, after a series of 32 burglaries that included groceries, hardware stores, schools and a church, seventeen year old Armand Schaubroeck was sentenced to three years in jail. He was charged with safecracking and thrown in the Elmira State Reformatory, a maximum security prison in New York. He would get out a year and a half later on parole but the impression would remain vivid in his mind.
...Apparently his imprisonment acted as a catalyst to the birth of his very unique and somewhat deranged rock 'n roll persona- he named his band Armand Schaubroeck Steals and all his music seemed to be a cathartic exorcise to the obsessions that haunted him.

After his release,He and his brothers founded a musical store that is today one of the most successful in New York,which not only provided him with a lucrative living,it allowed him to live out his assumed personality to the max.

Not only did he have relative monetary independence, he also had a whole place full of instruments for himself. He built a studio in the store's basement, created Mirror Records and recorded a handful of albums that were personal, obsessive, ironic,read as self-indulgent,

 and an attempt to be deliberately abusive to public ears.

But,......

Despite the promising cover,and his acquired Rock'n'Roll persona,it reveals that even a reformed safe-cracker needs something else other than money to make a half decent record.A personality is certainly not enough.

The music is that forgettable style of '1974 rock' that John Cale used to force on a public desperate for something wild and dangerous;but what they got was plodding session man rock as heard from above by a classically trained(there's that Phrase again!), composer,and we're told this is the real thing.Lou Reed,who i guess Armand would like to have been, also fits into this category,save one or two tunes.Unlike Cale,who would have loved to be a rocker instead of a neo-classical composer,Lou Reed was a rocker who wanted to be a neo-classical composer and taken very, VERY seriously...but even he got Mick Ronson in to help,and Mick was of course...."Classically Trained".

Armand wasn't clued up enough to hire an arranger, so he churned out a bunch of Lou reed/john Cale out-takes and acted the part of the crazed wild-man in his attempt to gain attention.Look at me Mom I'm Dancin'!

Before all you Velvets/Cale/Reed fans write in hailing this body of work rightly heralded genius,i concede that Cale's lyric are rather good,pity about the backing track,and Lou reed always gave a good interview around 1974. The fact that there was absolutely nothing else around back then probably explains their appeal....you had to be there i suppose,to appreciate it. I wasn't.

All this, we are told......Again....is 'Proto-Punk'.....yeah right.


Tracklist:

Part I:

A1 Father Michael Loves Sister Jennifer 4:20
A2 Baby, Can't Let You Burn 3:25
A3 Auld Lang Syne 3:26
A4 Cry Myself To Sleep 2:25

Part II:

B1 Intro To Bells 0:23
B2 Bells 9:11
B3 Michael Veni Ad Mé 1:08
B4 I Came To Visit; But Decided To Stay 3:23

DOWNLOAD to sample but decided to keep it HERE!

Sound Ceremony – "Sound Ceremony" (Celestial Sound Production – RWG2) 1979

Like 100% of this end of the century post millennium madness crop of 'Outsider' musicians,also known as,rather less pretentiously, as Crap musicians;but also Increasingly, as Crap Musicians who now think they are newly discovered genius's.They mistakenly,as do a lot of Outsider fans also,think that this upsurge in interest means there is some artistic content within this wildly amusing rubbish. Those types who don't know the difference between Laughing WITH you,and Laughing AT you!

I mean just look at this guy! As it's his own self-release,probably on a self-release from the Funny Farm too,as in...He escaped;but he must have chosen these cover shots himself, thinking that he looks good? It's that fashionable 'I'm On Heavy Medication chic' again.The front cover shot is more in the realm of a lost, undiscovered third world psych album from the Muslim half of Kashmir in 1992 rather than a UK post-punk classic.

This, his second record (1st one here!) is that truly brain-damaged winner that we've all trawled through unsorted vinyl dumps to find.The record surely fits somewhere into the 'right place wrong time' category in the UK punk explosion of the day, but it also looks back to the mid-sixties rock that Ron cut his rotting teeth on and ahead to some sort of maniac future form of entertainment that perhaps had not been invented yet.....now it has,namely Outsider Rock/Punk. Ganderton's mildly "out of it" stream of consciousness lyrics show a clear lack of self-censorship or political correctness, but that's really one of the albums strongest assets. He has created this character for himself as a huge rock star and sex symbol, and who are we to deny his claims,apart from the fact that he is clearly neither? The band chugs along amiably as Ganderton covers such terrain as his beating heart (it's made of rock), his distaste for education (he'd prefer to teach a lesson in bed,he obviously wasn't getting any) and his electric brain (which happens to be insane). If you've never heard a singer do a count-off all the way up to seventeen, then now is your big chance! Features what is perhaps the greatest anti-cigarette song of all time,or wot? 

He comes across as a bit of a dysfunctional,but charming arsehole,if that's possible?.....on meds....Who says there's no place for drugs in music? 

When you have people like Wrong Ron and his unsound ceremony to do it for you,there certainly is.Learning from others mistakes is certainly safer than making them yourself.....unless you're really stupid,like most Pop car crashes are and were.

Ron is now the celebrity that he craved to be,and can be seen hanging around record shops in Vancouver waiting to be recognized, marker pen at the ready and a armful of his re-released work from 1978-81. He deserves to make a living,unlike most other Rock Stars.Hell! I even bought one!

Tracklist:

1 Rock Work
2 Virgins Do
3 School
4 Rock Heart
5 Sorry
6 Our Song
7 Dance
8 Bet On Life To Win
9 Tobacco Man
10 Electric Brain
11 Motor
12 Sound After Death
13 Invitation To The Bizarre

DOWNLOAD and get a lesson,hopefully not in bed,from Ron HERE!

Kenneth Higney – "Attic Demonstration" (Kebrutney Records – KBH 516) 1976

 

In these mixed up muddled up ol'days, every fucker thinks they are undiscovered genius's just waiting for that chance to unleash their greatness upon an unsuspecting public. The trouble with that assumption is that the public all think they are undiscovered genius's as well. Its like that Monty Python sketch where everyone is Superman,except for one special superman who,when needed, becomes  Bicycle Repair man,racing to the assistance of any unfortunate super hero with a flat tyre.

In Kenneth Higney's day,the world was full of Bicycle Repair Men when it came to music. It was impossible to be Emerson,Lake and Palmer,unless you had a million quid to splash on walls of modular moog's,stainless steel drum kits,and three articulated lorries to spoil the public with your undeniable skills.

Nowadays every fucker has a home studio,and has an album out,or is in a fucking band all playing shiny new instruments. 

Then,oh shit!, "the Great British Mistake", Punk Rock, broke and the DIY dream started. Great! We can all be pop stars now.What a fucking well-intentioned fuck up that turned out to be?

If I hear another harsh fucking noise project by wee willy and his hip granny i'm gonna burn my Beatles records...again! What's the point in making music at all if everyone's doing it.....(h)'elp!Come Back ELP, all is forgiven....the problem with that damn fine Idea is that only 'P' is still with us,having lost 'E' and 'L' to suicide and cancer some years hence.

In 1976 Ken,a true Rock Star's name if ever there wasn't one(?), self-released this LP in the hopes of garnering attention for his tenuous songwriting skills.Slightly Ironic because he obviously didn’t have any.He,and group, did,however, have the envious ability of naturally owning a very wobbly understanding of syncopation,harmony,and/or melody.Rhythm appears to be a foreign country for Ken and his chums it seems.

Yes,by accepted standards,old and new, this album is total crap,but, healthy crap floats to the surface of a cesspit that is the charmless modern machine played poop which trains the brains of our charmless children.Give us something less desperate, honest, with imperfect perfection like a diamond on a turd,or a sapphire strewn necklace around Adele's newly slim neck. 

In short,Stop fucking singing,put your ramones T-shirt in the trash, and go get an office job,or an HGV licence. That's the new Punk Rock, telling your hip black leather wearing tattooed Mom and Pop that you're gonna get a Job. That should fuck 'em up,the lazy climate destroying cunts that they are.

I discovered this short,stupid, but succinct review on Discogs:

 

"This is probably the shittiest record I have ever listened to, singing and songwriting are absolutely rubbish."

Er..yeah....but!?...Some people just don't get it do they?

Tracklist:

1 Night Rider 2:34
2 Children Of Sound 3:18
3 Rock Star 5:49
4 Can't Love That Woman 3:38
5 Look At The River 3:40
6 Quietly Leave Me 2:41
7 Let Us Pray 5:11
8 I'll Cry Tomorrow 3:16
9 No Heavy Trucking 2:18
10 Funky Kinky 5:35
11 I Wanna Be The King 3:04

DOWNLOAD the rock star in everyone's attic HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Houston Thursday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0818) 2016

Jandek Monday stays in Mr Smiths home town of Houston for Jandek Thursday, where we find our hero playing some short improvised Avant Rock numbers for his public.
Well,I think Jandek is good, even if he seems to have sported a Donald Trump hair do and beard combination at some stage in his long life.
One of my bestest favourite groups of all time are 'God Is My Co-Pilot', and Jandek in Houston on Thrsday July 12th 2012 reminds one very much of said group. Short improvised songs that fall apart, both in rehearsal and in the actual concert. With Sterling the  'Representative' on discordant,distorted electric guitar partnered by Sheilas stream of consciousness singing which largely inspires above a largely uninspiring rhythm section of a couple of uncredited found musicians ;who plod along in a standard alt-rock style,juxtaposing the generic with the unclassifiable.
This could be my favourite 21st century Jandek album?......until next week at least.

Tracklisting:

Rehearsal

1 You're Here 2:01
2 Louder 1:53
3 Take It Off 1:38
4 Garage Apartment 2:57
5 Oh Yeah 1:44
6 My Problem 1:20
7 My Heart Beats 1:37
8 Insane Is Too Much 1:32
9 Just A Rehearsal 1:23

Concert
10 My Letters 2:41
11 Emergency 2:28
12 Your Designs 1:45
13 Dallas Bitches 2:01
14 On The Metro 2:23
15 Walk Talk Leave 2:53
16 Asked For A Refund 3:20
17 Can't Hear You 2:24
18 Floor 2:32
19 Chit Chat 2:24
20 Sit On Your Feet 2:25
21 Not Think 2:51
22 Books That I Read 3:03
23 Beholden To You 3:32
24 People Will Talk 3:40
25 Galveston 2:48
26 Glass Boxes 10:00

DOWNLOAD thirsty for jandek on thursday HERE!

Jandek ‎– "The Rocks Crumble" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0746) 1983

Its fucking Monday again, and time to fuck off back to classic electric period Jandek, with one of my top fab five Jandek albums; the self-describing "The Rocks Crumble" LP from back in '83.
It is pretty much a portrayal of not only the rocks of existence crumbling, but, Rock and Roll crumbling before our very ears!
Deconstructed Rock at its most unpretentious.
we are treated to three more consecutive versions of "European Jewel"!? The number 613 is appended to the title of track three.......does this mean there are over 600 recorded versions of this 'tune'? Maybe a posthumous box set will spring into our reality one of this crazy ol' years?...The complete  European Jewel.....like those Miles Davis complete 'On The Corner Session' box sets?
Betcha never thought Miles davis and Jandek would be mentioned in the same confused grammar-free sentence did ya?

Tracklist:

A1 Faceless 2:47
A2 Birthday 2:45
A3 European Jewel 613 5:00
A4 European Jewel II 3:36
A5 European Jewel 501 5:02
B1 Message To The Clerk (Part 1) 2:59
B2 Message To The Clerk (Part 2) 4:37
B3 Branded On A Telephone 3:32
B4 Breathtaker 4:27
B5 Lonesome Company 2:53
B6 Same Road 2:53

DOWNLOAD some crumble and custard HERE!

R. Stevie Moore ‎– "Next" (R. Stevie Moore Cassette Club ‎– Nt10) 1974

Erstwhile chum of Jad Fair and cohorts, R.Stevie is one of those great American eccentrics that I once thought the USA was full of......sadly this is very untrue.Unless one calls those Religious nuts in the liable belt 'Eccentric', which, in a way, they are.......like Charles Manson was eccentric.
Thats 'R.' on the cover, and I imagine it took some guts to prance around Nashville looking like that in 1974?
Our, R. Stevie, was doing DIY cassettes since the late sixties, and he's still at it today.
The music ranges from bizarre ballads, to proto-new wave rockers, to dysfunctional Adult Orientated Rock.At times sounding like Paul MaCartney and Wings if they we formed by out-patients at a psychiatric day-center, and other times like some US FM radio group....not an expert in this area so i'm struggling for comparisons!.......er........ Steely Dan(???).......on Mogadon.Well at least Neil Young coming up off tranquilizers? 
All, of course, done with a dry sense of humour and the absurd.
I'm quite confident in saying that, there was sweet fuck all like this doing the rounds in 1974, everyone in America wanted to be Led Zeppelin or Jethro Tull, no-one knew there was something else.Now, we do, so you can finally delete 'Physical Graffiti' and 'Thick as a Brick' from your hard drives to make room for the 100 plus R.Stevie Moore albums that are crying out to annoy the fuck out of your sophisticated friends.

Tracklist:

A1 Adult Tree 4:20
A2 Wonderful. Wonderful 4:14
A3 World's Fair 4:21
A4 Topic Of Same 4:54
A5 Europe 4:18
A6 Stool Pigeons And School Teachers 3:28
A7 Hot Bloose 5:47
A8 Ballad Of Ethos 7:12
A9 Kookie Coma 2:47
A10 I Still Chase The Women 2:44
A11 Danny Newberry 3:05
B1 A Thirst 3:01
B2 Pop Music 3:24
B3 Mighty Short Piece 2:52
B4 Moons 6:00
B5 New Yorkus 5:18
B6 I Not Listening 3:33
B7 Rockets By Two 6:08
B8 Quarter Peep Show 3:07
B9 I Love All The Girls 3:39
B10 The Fight 5:01
B11 I Need Your Love 4:49

DOWNLOAD the next american outsider HERE!

Jad Fair & R. Stevie Moore ‎– "FairMoore" (Old Gold) 2002

Everyone and their granny,in the known experimental pop universe, has done an 'ENO' collaboration it seems?
Running our Brian a close second in the 'Collaborations' ranking table is one, Mr Jad Fair, outsider rockist extraordinaire. 
It only seems right that he should do one with original DIY outsider rocker R. Stevie Moore; who, as chance may have it, also guested on Strobe Talbot's 'Lets Born To Rock' album.
Musically, its firmly on the Outsider side of the Outsider Rock continuum, sounding like a Wesley Willis backing track as played by a Nashville cabaret band on a legal high kick. Jad Fair is on his usual form vocally and lyrically, streaming the consciousness of a child with no interest in attaining the trappings of maturity,at times approaching the logic of dreams. 

Tracklist:

1 Stationary 2:11
2 That That Is This 2:00
3 Cotton Candy 2:57
4 Evil Eyes 2:24
5 Good Sign 1:58
6 Protected 2:33
7 Caramel Kisses 1:00
8 Cinnamon Roll 1:26
9 Leaders Of Yes 3:28
10 Opposite Of None 0:57
11 Supreme Beings 1:16
12 The Most 2:46
13 Two Of Us 2:21
14 Yeah, You Betcha 3:42
15 Your Theory 1:35
16 Lemon And Lime 3:11
17 Pow Pow 1:28
18 Beep The Horn Of Plenty 1:46
19 Red & Yellow Soda Cans 3:50
20 The Absence Of Trouble 2:24
21 We Are The Enhancers 2:43

DOWNLOAD some moore fair HERE!
or
alternative google drive download HERE!