Stanlow Crickets – "Navigation Of Loplop" (Sound Of Pig – SOP #144) 1988

This bloke called Philip Seifert is responsible for this ,undoubtedly with the assistance of Al Margolis one would assume,it being on his Sound Of Pig cassette label.

Kerazzy musique concréte,with liberal use of a second hand emulator to blind the less informed with yesterdays science.

Yeah it gets on yer Tits,but somebody out there who was locked in a cupboard for their early adulthood will find this very novel indeed.

Its certainly fun to listen to the cutting edge of low budget sound technology in 1988,especially by persons who were thankfully clueless as to what those charming,....and this part is satirical,so don't cancel me,.... coloured gentlemen,... were doing with the same kit in Chicago and Detroit at the same time.....ie, stuff like this with a marching beat and a lot of electronic squelching noises stuffed in there....("Acid House is two minutes and 30 seconds of squelching noises" said an anonymous wag in 1988,rather like John Lydon's description of the sex act a decade earlier?...ok,rumbled....it was me wot said it,about five minutes ago!Ok?

As I notice that Jeremy Clarkson got cancelled by Jeff Bozos this morning for saying this very Die Or Diy observation on the subject of the lovely Megan Markle....i will repeat:

"At night, I'm unable to sleep as I lie there, grinding my teeth and dreaming of the day when she is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant, 'Shame!' and throw lumps of excrement at her." ....couldn't have possibly put it better myself.

The axe is being wielded for offense givers such as we and he,as one heads in a runaway bus towards the dull and sinister world of terminal fucking boredom during the horrors of the oncoming 'Nice' revolution....the exact opposite of Skullflowers superb "Exquisite Fucking Boredom" album (up next),but something more akin to "La Terreur" after the first bit of the French Revolution;except in that terror, you could still make a joke and survive.

Yes i did say 'Charming Coloured Gentlemen'...soon to be a capital offence punishable by forcing this smart arse to clean out the latrines of the Re-education centers that were once our homes.My father did the same thing during his incarceration by the Nazi's in World War 2, cleaning out the 'twenty holer',as he put it, latrine in the POW Camp.

The old newspeak word 'Degenerate' will be replaced with the Nadsat friendly term,'Offensive' in the realms of art and entertainment.

But at least the Nazi's oganized sn exhibition before they burnt it.Hide your hard-drives in a lead lined box before the "Great Erasure"....no,not the pop duo, the satellite Erasure beam that will cleanse the earth of anything Offensive.The Year Zero of Nice. 

Tracklist:

A1 Messy's Alarm Cock
A2 Furniture Cornices
A3 Ocelot Acrobat
A4 Passage To Dadaville
A5 Hebjirma
A6 A Pigeon Flies Against A Fish
A7 Mala Baka Haka
A8 Absorbing Roots Of Rest
A9 Radiophonics
A10 Scaffolds In The Collapsed Lung
A11 Preparation Of Glue From Bones
A12 Epoxy Faced Bison
A13 Dugong
A14 Distressed Goresa In A Plaid Tie
A15 Basket, Bottle, And Wallpaper
A16 Cacomixtle
B1 The Naivete Of Slirpin Serpents
B2 Intentions Of The Heel
B3 Slivery Moths Apply Their Makeup
B4 Birdman Gets A Bismuth Bath
B5 Slivery Moths Reach For Hands
B6 Thirsty Rain Doves
B7 Lustre
B8 Loplop Eats A Banana
B9 Wireless Sidesteps

B10 Outro

DOWNLOAD before offence is taken HERE!

Ground Zero – "Plays Standards" (Nani Records – NCD-201) 1997

There was something about the Nineties that were distasteful in the upmost. Digital recording and the CD's themselves were primarily culpable. The silence of the silences were disconcerting,as was the fact that if you scratched a CD it was fucked instead of just making a click like vinyl did. Also because of the longer running time, the advent of the 80 minute track infiltrated the avant-garde, with albums that never seemed to fucking end. Then we had 'Sampling'......oh gawwd.....from bedroom dwellers with impeccable record collections,and even worse, impeccable taste!

Tony Wilson once said that the kids in Manchester had the best record collections....wrong.....The Japanese did,and its all here on Ground Zero's "Plays Standards CD", which at least keeps the duration down to a manageable 70 minutes.

I hated all this pop music culture in a perfectly recorded raspberry smoothie thang at the time, where the DJ became the centre of attention simply because he had a bunch of jazz records under his arm, and a fucking AKAI sampler in his bedroom.....as we all did in 1997.

Admittedly, the art of scratching or Turntablism can be quite impressive,and in the hands of the correct person, a creative tool. Otomo Yoshihidi could be said to be one of them? Mostly DJ's wanted to thought of as musicians(they aren't!),but here's one very accomplished musician who seemed to want to be a DJ!? 

No-one's ever happy at doing what they're good at are they? 

Although very guilty of the 80 minute long album track when 40 minutes is the limit of an average human attention span, Otomo was the world champ at eclecticism. Everything including several Kitchen sinks were thrown into his digital collages, and all done, with, obviously, thee most impeccable, "taste?";.......like an avant-garde Kenny Everett as the Cupid Stunt of post club art gallery aural aestheticism .

But, alas, as I'm now now also an aging Stunt, i kinda like this stuff in a nostalgic kinda way.....there are, however,some splendid moments of Free improvisation on this rather entertaining album.....and it is, ALL, done in the best possible taste.....YUK!

Those definitely weren't the days, but no-ones doing it nowadays,so it don't give one an 'eadache no more.

The sad thing is I ripped and sold all my vinyl in 2001/2 (see cupid stunt again?) to finance a house purchase.The funniest bit is that now i'm buying it all back with my new trendy turntables....yep plural.

So,I'd better buy my AKAI sampler back too i suppose?

 

Tracklist:

1.El Derecho De Vivir En Paz + Shinoshin 3/4
2.Ultra Q
3.Those Were The Days
4.Folhas Secas
5.Washington Post March + Japan Dissolution
6.Akashai No Ame Ga Yamu Toki
7.Bones
8.Where Is The Police? + The Bath Of Surprise
9.Miagetegoran, Yoru No Hoshi Wo
10.Yume No Hansyu
11.Die Pappel Vom Karlplatz
12.A Better Tomorrow + I Say A Little Prayer (Roland Kirk Version)

DOWNLOAD in the standard way HERE!