Preggy Peggy & The Lazy Babymakers ‎– "Get An Ace Case Of The Measles" (Ultra Eczema 63) 2008

Preggy Peggy and her be-tracksuited albanian boyfriends or boy fiends, the odd well hung swarthy babymaker,undoubtedly called Mongo, respendant in his bulging Lee Cooper stone-washed jeans.An item worth killing for in Enva Hoxha's Albania.Mongo's thick set monobrow frames a stare that suggests he did kill for those jeans;an act he called,or rather grunted, 'Going Shopping' back in the motherland....am I being Racist again?...probably, but this is how I imagine this anonymous collective if they existed in real life, and I'll shout down anyone who tries to trouble me with 'Facts', alternative or otherwise. I don't wanna know who they are thanks,and leave me with my ill-advised fantasy. I'm still scarred by Bill Drummonds recounted Residents' Mole Show experience when he noticed a thick wad of long curly hair pertruding from underneath one of the eyeball heads. This couldn't be true,surely?But now ,with the culture diluting...am i being racist again????....well at least uncomfortably right wing ,for which i apologise......where was I?...Ah Yes, the culture diluting Internet, revealing the identities of the Residents as an example of the Myth Busting of the gossip obsessed porn addicts that this 'Future' is populated with.Shit innit?

The cover is reminding me of the moment when my Daughter entered this world.An event commonly referred to as "Beautiful",rather than the horrific and painful thing it truly is.Like something out of Hellraiser!If ever a moment confirmed what i had already suspected, that there is no god, this was IT! Using flowery language to describe this,and other, reality confirming events ,transforms them into something Happy and full of the beauty of life. Its, in fact, the oldest usage of Alternative Facts as a political weapon in the long history of lying to oneself. I notice that "Beautiful" is one of ex-president's Donald Trump's favorite words from his very limited vocabulary. This is NO coincidence!

Somehow ,some Belgian chap decided to release a 'proper' vinyl record of Preggy Peg!? Thankfully it keeps up the high standard of abstract Industrial Pop as viewed through a kaleidoscope dunked in shit that we came to expect from them. Beautiful!?

Tracklist:

A1 Come Ravage The Rice In My Rug
A2 Shep Makes Coffee
A3 How So Ever Far
A4 Not A Dry Eye In G-Unit
B1 Amonia Blud
B2 Legs N.Ahll & "Lucky" Lester Lickley Meet Sammy The One-Eyed Pirate... In The Dark !
B3 Play Meaty For Me
B4 Buttermouthed Buckslappers Of Fu Manchu
B5 Saul Peels An Onion
B6 The Circle With A Hole In The Middle

DOWNLOAD and hear the beauty HERE!

Preggy Peggy & The Lazy Babymakers ‎– "Duo Eureka" (Being Weird Isn't Enough Records) 2007

Peggy returns with 15 more of her children,all with the various congenital diseases,deformities,and learning difficulties that reflect the human race. You would have been burnt as witch in the fifties if you made music like this without having a degree in modern composition. John Cage was alright,he had one of those.

Nowadays, any dysfunctional lunatic can either become a Bhuddist or make experimental noise on their relatively inexpensive digital multitrack facility.

This was what we wanted wasn't it? Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it...and we have!

The sheer mass of DIY "Experimental" music available on the ethernet is mind boggling,impossible to listen more than once to anything. In olden days terms, that means that Matt Groening would have not elected himself Captain Beefheart's number one fan, and I wouldn't have discovered the shiny forbidden world of prog rock..

I suppose, getting to enjoy such dreadful rackets as Preggy Peggy, modern kids would have to start with the current Hipster's fav Throbbing Gristle and work upwards.....or downwards, depending on your perspective. Pop,or unPop, Music appreciation and History classes would be a valuable asset to stop these ignorant young fools from repeating the older generation's musical faux pas'.

Preggy Peg, can I call her that(?), is likely more accessable than most because its also.....'Funny'.

There's Noise, there's Plunderphonics, there's samplerdelica,there's gentle,but sinister, Pop,there's even some psych workouts? What more could a modern teenager who doesn't like Hip-Hop and its derivatives want? This could be chart music one day......featuring 50cent, or Stormzy. 

Tracklist:

1 Let Us Eat Cake 2:29
2 Flonkerende Ster 1:01
3 Gonna Get That Boy 2:45
4 The Group 1:28
5 Eureka Polka 0:39
6 Do The Ape 11:06
7 Swinging On Sunday 1:34
8 They're Just Like Us 2:41
9 Plastic Bag 7:41
10 Avondrood 0:54
11 The Group Revisited 0:30
12 I Can't Relalte 1:29
13 Where Flamingos Fly 4:11
14 The Light City 0:28
15 Diamonds 'N' Ducks 6:31

DOWNLOAD some aural contraception HERE!

Preggy Peggy & The Lazy Babymakers ‎– "The Gang Rape Of A Short-Bus Rider" (Chocolate Monk ‎– Choc. 160) 2007

List under "Experimental" is a tasty cop-out when trying to categorize the unfathomable. Preggy Peggy and her lazy Babymakers are more aligned with the 'Piss-Take Experimental' tranch of Noise than anything experimental, or even original;although ,granted, there ain't many recording Artistes who sound as truly Nuts as  this.

Naturally I know nothing about the persons coupable for this attack on aural decency,and I dunno if they have any connection with The Ceramic Hobs' harsh noise offshoot "Smell and Quim", whose style is uncannily similar,if slightly less daft.

I knew many a young lady who would have qualified to have been called Preggy Peggy in my youth in the post war concentration camps that circled UK cities called "Council Estates". Giving flesh to the old joke about most British cities;Them being like an evactuated Rugby players bath,nothing in the center with a ring of scum around the outside..HaHaHa....I nicked that one from Jeremy Clarkson....the only posh boy in Doncaster,so he knows, right?

The Estate was also full to the brim of Lazy Babymakers too,whom i had to avoid,as they took exception to me being the only weirdo in the village.....they were not wery nice to me...boo-hoo. Therefore, like most Grammer School boys (ps,I had to pass an exam to go there so shut it!), I hate both the 'Upper'and the 'Under'classes equally.I believe in equality when it comes to hate.

Interesting point of information about my childhood homeland,was that the estate was named after Lord Eyres Monsell,who, before he had to sell his inherited lands after a compulsory purchase order in the fifties, to the UK Govt, became chums with William S. Burroughs at Harvard in the thirties.

Here's a relevant extract from Burroughs' excellent Biography, "Literary Outlaw":

'Billy met some of the more outlandish characters then at Harvard,among them Graham Eyres-Monsell, an Upperclass Englishman Whose father was the First Lord of the Admiralty. Billy thought he was glamourous because he was a Lord and knew all sorts of people, but at heart he disliked him,recalling:

"Ears Monsell....sounds like a Brooklyn gangster.He hung out with the undergraduates because he was in the habit of being deferred to and did not want to be with his equals.Like Cato gave his senate laws, and sits attentive to his own applause. He was a Cat-hater, and said he'd trained a Dog to kill Cats He was the one who told me that Vitamin A in large doses kills colds. He was a Fascist minded elitest,and not nearly as intelligent as he thought he was.I'm an elitest myself, but wouldn't want to be in the same lifeboat as him."'

Not sure I approve of Billy taking the piss out of the name synonymous with my childhood torture.Its a kind of warped Stockholm syndrome that i'll stick up for the place for the most rediculous reasons.I can feel a spike of annoyance if anyone dis's Leicester for any reason, never mind Eyres Monsell Estate....even the great William S. Burroughs.

In fact he isn't alone among literary genius's, to slag off my home town,the Father of Satire himself....and incidently a blood relative to yours truly,Jonathan Swift labelled the place a "Special parcel of Fools"....can't disagree with that,even if it included me for several decades.

The literary connections continue,Sue Townshend wrote the appalling "Dairy Of Adrian Mole" there, and Joe Orton lived in the neighbouring,and even worse,Concentration camp of the "Saffron Lane Estate".They used to send posses of sexually abused head cases on raids into Eyres Monsell looking for blood and someone else's sister,or brother,or family pet, to penetrate for a change...i'm crying just thinking about the trouser wetting fear of being beaten by these ruthless new life-forms.Who were they?....well,in this case it's more of a 'What' rather than a 'Who'.

One can only imagine the joy that Lord Ears Monsell(1905-93) would have gained knowing that his former lands were populated by cap-doffing breeders,hardly worthy of attending the Primary school which bore his name, never mind bowing to his magnificence.

Tracklist:

1 I'm Glad My Dad Is Sad 2:09
2 A Man Walks Into A Duck With A Bar On His Head 3:14
3 Baby, It's Cold Inside 5:21
4 A Broken Vag Is Like A Broken Badge 5:35
5 Saran Wrap Man 2:05
6 C.E.L.E.B.R.A.T.E. 4:11
7 The Mysticism Of My Fucking Sound 5:03
8 When The World Isn't There 1:25
9 A Dyke, A Kike & A Ten Speed Bike 5:10
10 Just Don't Forget. Peggy Is The Boss 5:08

DOWNLOAD another noisy baby HERE!