Phuture – "We Are Phuture" - (Trax Records – TX165) 1988

Well, these Acid House pioneers didn't get where they are today through sleeve art alone,or lack of there in, but, for a brief moment they were certainly the Phuture of the Future and their questionable legacy seems to live beyond eternity.Out-living the clubs which are closing down at variable and increasing rates.

Surveys show that persons over 65 were far more likely to go out partying than Gen Z, who stay indoors, with a handful of chums a PS4 and a board game. They are deaf to music,blind to booze and drugs and sex, and think that being an AI'ed Hollywood star is an attainable dream,where no work is actually required to get there.

We parent types have fucked up another generation of entitled kids.

This was the Phuture ,however Dystopian,but it's out there, NOW.Waiting to fuck you up.

Basically We ARE all Fucked!

My 'good' advice to Gen Zed, is embrace the drugs,cigarettes and alcohol before its already too late, and have some illicit fun for once in your sad and dismal existences FFS!
Tracklist:

A We Are Phuture 8:38
B1 Slam 5:40
B2 Spank-Spank 4:58

DOWNLOAD back to the phuture HERE!

In Slaughter Natives – "In Slaughter Natives" (Cold Meat Industry – CMI-04) 1988

Some bright spark calls this stuff ,and I quote,"Symphonic Industrial",but,Having never knowingly heard anything by Nine Inch Nails, this cassette ,released on the aforementioned 'Cold Meat Industries' label around the advent of Hard Electronic Industrial Rock,with a Gothic Wagnerian slant, is what I guess it sounded like;but like the argument put forward by many an envious American rock musician that only Americans can understand Rock'n'Roll.....i'm thinking self-important Art slobs like the late David Thomas here....well.....the same can be argued that Americans can't understand dark European evil either. Especially when Wagner and Gothic Marching music is concerned. 

Just as Rock'n'Roll is basically modern american Folk Music, equally Dark East European Industrial like this is a form of modern folk music too.Replacing the Appalachians for the Urals. The ugly American could never produce anything like Laibach or even Throbbing Gristle within a million extinction events. 

The result is Nine Inch Nails, and The Ministry,which i figure are in fact just Heavy Metal again......purely a British form of modern Industrial urban Folk,that gets constantly fucked up by our American Cousins. I'm talking Hair Metal here.

You just can't make traditional dark Industrial Metal from the urban wastelands of Birmingham,UK, in California,or replicate the claustrophobiz in the wide open spaces of  Texas with a Van Halen guitar solo.

Having said that, "In Slaughter Natives" are apparently Swedish ,which is just another word for German,or, Norman,or even Viking for that matter. These Scandinavians can do Metal extremely authentically. Which also includes, Thudding Hard Electronics such as this, which feels like one is receiving a damn good, and well deserved kicking if one turns it up a notch.

Dark Electronic God Gary Numan is back at number one ,so i am informed,by copying Nine Inch Nails apparently?......Please let me never hear this potential atrocity ever!

Anyway, we all know who invented Industrial Rock don't we?...yep....Killing Joke innit!?

Tracklisting:

A1 Death, Just Only Death... 5:24
A2 CHRIST 5:24
A3 Media 4:33
B1 Cryptic Slaughter 1:52
B2 Head 5:16
B3 Structure (See Circule Say Cube) 2:43
B4 Then Gothic 5:24

DOWNLOAD a smorgasbord of cold meats HERE!

Various Artists – "U.K. Electronics Vol 1" (Mindscan Tapes) 1988

Back in the idiot dancing heights of the 1988 Acid House luvved up nonsense,no-one listened to electronic music unless it carried a floor to the foreskin goosestepping back beat, and squelchy filter knob twiddling from products that no-one had previously wanted.

Yet deep in the fusty bedrooms,garden sheds and attics of Incel's all over the UK, festered music you couldn't dance to made by people who couldn't dance. The refinements of these DIY land Tangerine Wet Dreams, grafted onto the roots and branches of the old Industrial scene, which had since emigrated to Europe, had moved underground,communicating by cassette,avidly shunning human contact.

Yes, there's an individual on here called,proudly(?), 'Cock' (real name John Yardley Jones...which explains a lot),hinting strongly towards the involuntarily celibate nature of the UK Electronic underground noise that had begun with such labels as Integrated Circuit Records (ICR) in the earlier part of the decade.

This series of compilation tapes showcased many of these pale young men,and believe me they are ALL men....women would never make testosterone damaged noise like this,..music to take your mind off wanking by.....nothing wrong with that of course.We need situations like this frustration stifling aural bromide to make great art.Do you think Van Gogh would have painted Sun Flowers if he got laid once in a blue moon?....Nah 'course not!....same applies here.Music that doesn't quite make you wanna slice your ears off.

So,here's to involuntary celibacy, and all who sail in the poor cow.

Er....compiled by Robert Maycock....as if you had to ask!?

Tracklist:

A1	Richard Leake–	Candles & Prayers	3:11
A2	Pessary–	Untitled 15 - 17	5:29
A3	Cutter –	Echopraxia	4:23
A4	Discipline –	Nineteen	5:32
A5	Richard Leake–	Homelands	3:47
A6	Birth/Birth–	We Must Keep The Kaled Race Pure	4:17
A7	factor X–	Untitled	2:03
B1	The Headmen –	Below Ground	3:41
B2	Cock–	Thatcher (Devil Incarnate)	3:48
B3	Pessary–	Untitled 4 - 6	3:49
B4	Cock–	Fountain Of Life 1 & 2	2:47
B5	Discipline–	The First Light	4:52
B6	Discipline–	The Tensing	1:43
B7	From Nursery To Misery–	Kill Your Dancing Dreams	4:58
B8	The Headmen –	Listening Force	4:02

DOWNLOAD for those lonelier moments HERE!

Darkthrone – "Land Of Frost" (Self-Released) 1988

 

Whereas someone like,...say...Jandek,has a vision of life as a grim pointless reality; our Norwegian buddies in all those Death/Black metal groups,live in a fantasyworld almost as life unaffirming and silly as a Christian UFO Death Cult....but with better music. Especially when its as lo-fi as this jolly jaunt into the permafrost of the arctic Tundra of  Metal.

They think they're frightening us but their ,frankly, daft, game of thrones world is nowhere near as Horrific as the life as portrayed in any Jandek recording.

That Scot Walker album with Sunn(((o is probably the way to go for these growly long-hairs. A Jandek Death Metal collaboration would go a long way to lessen the silliness somewhat.

Not unlike that Metal collaboration album with Mark.E Smith (Mutation?), who continued to frighten the crap out of a bunch of very muscular Metalheads for the duration of his appearance.

Nevertheless, I do like a bit of Ferric-oxide cassette based Black Metal,with the production values of Danny and the Dressmakers.

I could listen to that all day as long as they don't do that growly barking thing they have a tendency to stoop to from time to time. Keep the vocals deep in the background please boys,and no suicides or murders please....not big, not clever.

Tracklist:

A1 Land Of Frost 3:57
A2 Winds Of Triton 1:53
A3 Forest Of Darkness 4:32
A4 Odyssey Of Freedom 3:26
A5 Day Of The Dead 5:23

DOWNLOAD frosty the headbanger HERE!

Zeni Geva – "Vast Impotentz" (Nux Organization – NUX - 15) 1988

What Heavy Metal should sound like is often a pointless discussion involving many an unresolvable parable about 'What went Wrong'? Another topical question seems to be why do the  Japanese have an almost effortless grasp of what Heavy Metal should have sounded like PS (Post Sabbath).

They are aided by not having any slave trade guilt,and as a result not being exposed to The Blues brought over from Africa on the slave ships.They ahve to make do with boring Chinese slaves,who weren't Funky in the remotest definition of the word. 

The first thing one notices with Japanese Rock,is the total lack of the Blues held withing the melting walls of Nippon's pop obsession. No-doubt I am just misinformed, but there are no examples of a Jap Amy Winehouse doing impressions of Billie Holiday,exposing her Black soul after fulfilling her obligations to the government funded Rock'n'Pop school that taught her Da Blues concept. Like the Brit-Schooled Amy Winehouse, she never skipped a single class on Traditional Rock'n'Roll drugs abuse,and died an early death before she was even born.As a result we get café au Lait Amy Winehouse and they got raw as sushi Fushitsusha.

The Brit Academy of the 'popular arts' way be reprehensible,but the UK don't have this cancer as bad as Sweden...or is it Norway?...that not only school the kids in Rock,but also buy them sparkling new equipment and bung 'em subsides to spread the message to the world.

Have Scandinavians got Da Blues?......of course they ain't,but they do have those Led Zeppelin records to dissect and truly discover da blooz anglais who have long since studied those Muddy Waters records until their ears ran red with soul in the key of 'R'...or at least sound like they did.

It was all downhill from there,but to muddy the waters further, Black Sabbath did a splendid job in removing ,mainly due to incompetence,almost all the Blues from their doomy dirges, save for Iommi's guitar solo's and Ozbournes regular "Yeah Baby alrights",spoiling the party. There were others who were pure anglo-saxon metal, after-all, thats where it was invented. Of course,Motorhead ('not metal' said Lemmy),Saxon(?),first two album Iron Maiden(?),and,not forgetting our American pals....TAD?

Japan, however, never had this problem,being naturally sadistic, soul-less and borderline insane.Metal competence,it seems, is down to genetics.There's a reason Britain and Japan both drive on the correct side of the road.

Zeni Geva is,for me, Japanese metal,and they understand this,without thinking about it.Or had they just been listening to Swans in 1984?

Who is this Zeni Geva,you might ask? I dunno, and i doubt they do either,but one of the Acid Mothers Temple is in it.

Delightfully lo-fi, slooooow, and brutal.Turn it up and expect police interest.

Tracklist:

1 I Want You (3:22)
2 War Pig (7:30)
3 Dead Car, Sun Crash (6:47)
4 Slam King (9:18)
5 Godkill/Killsonic (30:21)

DOWNLOAD to discover what the (?) after the word metal really means HERE!

Big Stick – "Crack 'N' Drag" (Blast First – BFFP 25) 1988

I thought I'd have a go on one of these Artificial Intelligence programs,to see how they cope when faced with the Artificial Stupidity of The excellent Big Stick. I entered some info and cut'n'pasted some blurb from the internet,and this is what it came up with after i had to remove any sexual,political and racial references.Political correctness and offensive red lines will be hardwired in that fun fun FUN future we seem so inpatient to crush the last reasons to be alive with.The age of the self-replicating machine are dawning.

Anyway, this bland cliché ridden 21st century future of Music journalism nothingness,is what the computer came up with:

"In the world of dance music, there are only a few tracks that stand the test of time and remain cherished by generation after generation. One of those rare gems is "Drag Racing" by The Big Stick. Released in the mid-80s, this track was part of their EP called "Crack Attack," which is still regarded as one of the best dance music releases of all time. The Big Stick was an underground band hailing from the New York City art scene, and their music was a unique blend of art-rock and dance music. At the time, the punk scene was dominating the underground music scene, but The Big Stick was a breath of fresh air with their distinct sound and unconventional style. "Drag Racing" is a track that truly embodies the spirit of dance music. It's infectious, funky, and will make even the most reluctant dancer hit the floor and groove to the beats. The track features a hypnotic bassline that hooks you in right from the start, and the percussion and synth elements in the track add layers of complexity that make it stand out from other dance tracks of its time. The genius of "Drag Racing" lies in its ability to seamlessly blend different genres of music. The track draws inspiration from disco, funk, and punk rock, and fuses them together to create a sound that is entirely its own. It's a track that has something for everyone, and its popularity is a testament to its universal appeal. What makes "Drag Racing" even more impressive is its longevity. Over three decades have passed since its release, but the track still manages to captivate audiences. Its influence can be seen in modern dance music, and it continues to inspire new generations of artists. It's not just the music that makes The Big Stick and "Drag Racing" special; it's the band's unconventional approach to art and music that sets them apart. The band's name and album covers were inspired by phallic symbols, and their live performances were more akin to performance art than traditional concerts. They were pushing boundaries and challenging the norms of the music industry, and their music reflected that. In conclusion, "Drag Racing" by The Big Stick is a true masterpiece of dance music. It's a track that defies genres, captivates audiences, and remains relevant even after all these years. The Big Stick's unique approach to art and music has left an indelible mark on the music industry, and their music continues to inspire new generations of artists."

That would sit nicely in the review section of Mojo Magazine....just lacking an unseen Beatles photo section.

It really does make stuff up, that would kinda fit in any article.I wrote hardly any of the above!

Anyway, I've done a human version for you to contrast and compare.To see if it's worth having robots with critical minds, plotting in the corner of the fruit picking farm they are programmed to work in since Brexit removed all the Romanians from the UK,then found the Gammon faced gobshites who voted for it aren't willing to do the shitty jobs the foreigners did for them, so they can continue receiving their allowances for their bad backs.

On the Subject of Crack'n'Drag by The Big Stick group:

"This is how dance music should sound in my humble opinion.Spartan,not quite danceable,stoopid but clever,and a tad disturbing.

Drag Racing easily squeezes itself into my top ten bestest tunes of all time ever box.Big Stick slithered up like a slug from the NYC art rock underground(ugh!a bit of sick just came into my mouth momentarily!), in the mid-80’s, worlds apart both stylistically and sonically from noise-damaged bum-chums of the junkie-chic New York noise scene like Sonic Youth, Swans,Lydia Crotch with Aussie pets,Rowland H Hard-on,often interchangeable with the interminably awful Jim Foetus. You know where I'm going here don't 'cha? 'cus I don't?

I bought this compilation LP of their rather brilliant "Drag Racing" and "Crack Attack" ep's from back in the day,then they then seemed to sink without trace.Not even an oil slick floating on the surface of the sea of bad taste remained. To my surprise they made other recordings, and have even made some new ones in recent years. They may dress like that Cunt who was up stage front in the january 6th insurrection at the Capitol building with furry hat and horns,and ironically have a song called "I'm Gonna Shoot The President"; but  musically they are as weird as a whole capitol building full of drugged up Q-anon Trump Zombies prostrate in worship to their new God,with or without horns. 

Jacob 'I'm Guilty and i'm very very sorry' Chansley,the self-titled 'QAnon Shaman' of the jan 6th attack on democracy, who is NOT in Big Stick, will help make sure you're Free, even if he has to kill you to achieve it......cunt.

Big stick clearly do NOT come from the red Neck bloc,or even like Drag Racing. This is genuine Red Neck satire,helping extend Trump's imaginary wall further north of the Mexican Border,and eventually looping round, lasso-like, fencing those brother lynchin' bible licking Crack 'n' Meth fueled 2nd amendment toting Morons in one massive trailer park. Maybe we could do a deal with Putin to replace the 3 million Russian kids who left the country in fear of being drafted, with these unwanted Trump lovin' Fentanyl hooked Hillbillies? A threat that could end the war in Ukraine."

Tracklist:

1.Crack Attack 3:07
2.Crack Attack (Remix) 3:56
3.Billy Jack Paddy Wack 2:45
4.I'm Amazed 3:26
5.Friends & Cars (Recorded Live At The Folk City) 2:17
6.Shoot The President 2:21
7.Drag Racing 1:40
8.I Look Like Shit 2:01
9.Hell On Earth 2:19
10.Jesus Was Born (On An Indian Reservation) 2:32

DOWNLOAD that meth amphetamine quarter mile to a fentanyl laced doom in a tube top HERE!

The Driscolls – "Complete Recordings 1988-1991" (Jigsaw – PZL056) 2014

 Also on Tea-Time Records were The Driscolls, whose complete recordings have been so kindly reissued by an American Label, doing that American thing of looking after the UK's culture even if we don't do it ourselves.They owe us big-time anyway as The UK saved Rock'n'Roll for them to enjoy in perpetuity,just as they are saving some of the United Kingdom's Indie heritage....a decidedly untrendy concept in the modern British Isles.

If The Driscolls were transported back in time to The Cavern Club, and The Beatles didn't exist, rather like in that next in a long line of truly terrible Danny Boyle films called "Yesterday", we would know all the words to Driscolls songs nowadays,instead of "Love Me Do". Although they ain't as cute as the Fab Four,so maybe the girlies wouldn't have wet their pants so much when confronted with the wimpy looking Driscolls.....but The Beatles did exist, and The Driscolls are nothing more that a skid mark in history.

The Fab Three....enough to turn a young lady ON...to lesbianism.

What is laid bare the most when listening to these Indie Pop sub-classics, is the glaringly obvious worshiping at the alter of 60's UK Freakbeat and Psych,with a splash of the U.S. Paisley Underground.

Like the Postcard records lot all walked around in public carrying a Dostoevsky Novel for effect, this lot plainly had a trove of Bam- Caruso compilations under their arms at all times in the hostelry's of Bristol and the west country where all these groups seemed to emerge from.

This influence is far from hidden,in fact its flaunted,as their self-financed debut 7" testifies, a cover of The Fire's Psych Pop classic "My Father's Name Was Dad" from '68 rather than '88.....is included here as a vinyl rip.The master tapes long gone.

To cap it all there's a clear Status Quo matchstickable lead guitar riff going on here,alongside a valiant attempt at Beatlesque harmonies.....or maybe it was those bizarre harmonies that The Clash used to insert into their early tunes in between Strummer growling on about Riots and Cheating to win.Silly stuff,but quaint in its own way.

One has to say the dirty clean but chunky yet jangley Guitar sounds on these recordings are rather lovely...that Rickenbacker on the cover may explain this? Although I've yet to receive an explanation as to how groups like this managed to afford a Rickenbacker, or a Fender for that matter? Have you seen how much they are recently....for the disenfranchised kid on the dole they are not!?

PS:

Anyone interested in a movie i'm writing where Gary Numan didn't exist, and i get to come up with "Are Friends Electric"?....that drummer's haircut would have to go though.

Tracklisting:

Disc One:
1-01 Father's Name Is Dad 2:19
1-02 Girl I Want You Back 2:07
1-03 Groovy Little Town 2:15
1-04 Andrew 2:56
1-05 Julie Christie 2:18
1-06 I Heard A Rumour 2:43
1-07 Doctor Good And His Incredible Life Saving Soap 2:28
1-08 If Only 1:54
1-09 Mrs. Jones 2:17
1-10 You Must Be Mad 1:57
1-11 Something To Learn 2:01
1-12 Groovy Little Town (acoustically revisited) 2:18
1-13 This Is A Different Song 2:45
1-14 Bang Goes Another Cloud 1:22
1-15 Out Of My Head 2:58
1-16 How Does It Feel? 4:47
1-17 Superman 3:50
1-18 Sky High 3:53
1-19 The Return Of Lord Kitchener 2:11
1-20 Coloured Windows 3:54
1-21 Brittle Beautiful 3:27
1-22 Green Tambourine 4:01
1-23 Another Day (Little Pill) 4:41

Disc Two:
2-01 P.C. Roberts 1:58
2-02 Call Me Anything 2:13
2-03 Time For Change 2:30
2-04 It's Your Daughter 2:26
2-05 Circles 3:03
2-06 Here It Comes Again 2:53
2-07 These Things 2:59
2-08 Shame About The Rain 3:22
2-09 She Said She Said 3:27
2-10 Coloured Windows (alternate version) 3:51
2-11 X-Ray Eyes (live) 3:40
2-12 radio interview 4:05

DOWNLOAD a group of driscolls with not one driscoll in the line up HERE!

Jody And The Creams – "Jody And The Creams" (Cordelia Records – Ericat 026(C) 1988

Oh Fuck!.....I just inexplicably sat through two hours worth of Mad Vlad Putin spouting endless conspiracy theories straight outta the Q-Anon phrasebook....and I paraphrase :"We (the Degenerate West) are all pedophiles in same sex marriages who defile the sacred scriptures in league with Satan, and a corrupt,but secret Elite."...even the Anglican Church got name-checked for daring to suggest that their fictional deity might not have a gender!? ...I'm sure The Chinese self-imposed leadership agrees with that. So the fate of the free world lay in the hands of the slightly crazy population of the USA.

If Trump,or an endorsed version of said cunt wins ...or even loses it seems, the next US election, we are fucked,rather than our kids,who will likely be doing a lot of the shafting;and Q-Anon and its off-shoots win. Like the 1978 remake of 'Invasion of the Bodysnatchers', they know what we're thinking because they will decide for us and ultimately replace us. The conspiracy is the Conspiracy,and Putin, himself part of an untouchable Elite,is their Pin-Up boy.

Some of it is based on fact,for example we are obviously ruled by an untouchable Elite,and have been since the dawn of history,some could even be called 'Evil'?..But i tend to be somewhat skeptical about so-called Satanic child abuse by,for example, the Clintons, and Hilaries quaffing down gallons of Baby's Blood binges in the nineties. (I like how they pop the word Satanic in there,like Christian Sexual Abuse,and there's a lot of it about,isn't so bad?)

So this calls for more indie rock escapism with some untitled cast-offs by the prototype Jody and the Creams back in '88.

I suspect that this is just Alan Jenkins, on guitar and drum machine,but maybe I do hear some Blodwyn P. Tea Bag on her organ.

It doesn't quite work without those surreal lyrics,but there is a thankfully word-less version of Peter and Gordons hit ode to suicide, "I won't Live In A World Without Love" ,which seems more relevant today than ever.....living in a world without internet crazed bigots is more on the mark methinks.

Remember what Mad Vlad said about Gay rights?.....no?....let me remind you...."We must protect the children")...chilling. Que(-anon?), the return of the Nazi's Pink Triangle which must be worn at all times.

nb:

Especially interested in what Die or DIY?'s in-house conspiracy Junkie, Sandi Hook, has to say about this in the comments section.

Sandi?

Track Listing:

Side A:

1. Untitled # 1

2. Untitled # 2

3. Untitled # 3

4. Untitled # 4

5. Untitled # 5

Side B:

1. Untitled # 6

2. Untitled # 7

3. Untitled # 8

4. Untitled # 9

5. Untitled # 10

DOWNLOAD 10 anonymous tunes to drink babies blood to HERE!

Yukio Yung – "Valborgunmassoäfton" (Audiofile Tapes – aT 53) 1988

 "These tracks were recorded between 1983 and 1985 and were intended to make up the third Jung Analysts LP. The Jung Analysts no longer exist. - so sayeth Terry Burrows aka Yukio Jung, June 1988, London, England"

Not that anyone had noticed that The Jung Analysts no longer troubled existence, nor did anyone noticed them when they did.

Alas, jung Terry seemed to be a rather busy chap,generally.Apart from co-founding The Chrysanthemums with Deep Freeze Mouse Alan Jenkins(not a made up name),he is also a prolific author of books relating to music history, theory, and tuition, technology, business, popular psychology and modern history...... busy fellow is Jung Terry.

In between jobs,he also made an equally numerous number of experimental...here's that job description again, "Art Rock",projects,sometimes dispensing with the rock part all together,even collaborating with such prolific loony toons as R Stevie Moore,and Asmus Tietchen.

Oh Yeah...Jung Terence is also one of those Mucky Micky Oldfield types who describe themselves as a muti-instrumentalist,which in Mad Mucky Mick's case means he can play a lot of different guitars,which in my book classes that as just one instrument...A Guitar,singular.

As a Bass player/abuser myself,not something I'd put on my job description or waste space on my non-existent curriculum vitae,I fully realise that it is in fact just another type of Guitar,whereas Mike Oldfield seems to think is a different instrument altogether....No Mike, it's a guitar.

Terry seems mildly competent on the Drum Kit, but as far as Multi-instruments go he can strum and pluck and press and blow and,more importantly, Edit.He can make coherent noises with most things musical...just like all of us.Gimmie a Bassoon, and i'll make it dance for a certain open minority of eager ears if attuned to this nonsense.

If you're in a band like The Chrysanthemums however, some form of musical competence is required, so maybe he can strum a guitar approaching the competence of a level three Mad Mick's two slightly distorted guitars...(Tubular Bells Reference There).

No displays of virtuosity on display on this aborted third album for his old band The Jung Analysts however, lots of funny noises, and meandering keyboard-isms,there's even some Jandekian piano tinkling-a-foot!?...yeah 'its experimental',that celebrated cop-out phrase that helps one avoid having to actually make an effort.

Of course you can do both,The Chrysanthemums being a fine example.

Normal Member of the Public:

"Oooooh! That's a bit crap!"

Composer or band leader:

"Not Crap...Experimental;but you wouldn't understand that would you?"

Standard artistic snobbism......which does, in fact, have its place.

Listen to it all enough times and the two words become interchangeable.One wonders if Terry touches on this subject in any of his numerous Musical Theory tomes? The writing of which is no doubt his main source of income.

One man's "Crap" is another's "Experimental"

And Terry's album is certainly..."Experimental"

Tracklist:

A1 The End Of Wild Strawberries
A2 Alchemy
A3 The Thin Army
A4 The Theme From Ulcerative Colitis
A5 Fiximile
A6 Boys On The Job #1
B1 Boys On The Job #2
B2 Die Litze
B3 Elegant People
B4 Lanzarote
B5 Der Vorliegende Band
B6 The Saisho Connection
B7 Camomile
B8 Flowers
B9 Units At Risk
B10 Parlour Palm

DOWNLOAD and get experimental HERE!

Pale Saints – "Some New Songs By Pale Saints" (Self-Released) 1988

Some 35 year old songs by Pale saints,who were 3 pale young boys (+ later pale young lady addition) from Leeds in Yorkshire, which is,basically, the UK's version of Australia,overflowing with undiluted toxic masculinity,prison tattoo's, and fat footy hooligans;but not too many mullets in evidence as the hairstyle of choice is the number two, in non-toilet terms. These increasingly common,cow bellied throwbacks can be seen on away matchdays, unleashing minor tributary's of dark yellow piss, like objectionable ambassadors from the home of the missing link,stumbling through the streets of their rival conurbation, whilst lobbing stale and partly chewed pukka pies in the general direction of the repulsed local woke tribe of new men.

Only Millwall fans have unleashed my inner snob more quickly.

Therefore,one must applaud the often overlooked pasty faced Twee/Shoegaze combo Pale Saints,for existing in such an environment.They seemed sensitive types,and sang in a girly way that would have yer average Yorkshire-man demanding that they make him a meal immediately,with gravy that you could stand yer bloody spoon up in.

Naturally, 4AD snapped these delicate chaps up within three seconds of the first track of this demo,and the rest is history....especially the bit where The Pale Saints are nothing less than forgotten in the annals of Twee indie Shoegaze music;but at least it got them away from Leeds United Football fans eh?

Tracklist:

1.Wasting My Time 2:16

2.Children Break 2:46

3.The Way The World Is 2:04

4.Sea Of Sound 5:15
 

DOWNLOAD these pale strangers to elland road HERE!

Stanlow Crickets – "Navigation Of Loplop" (Sound Of Pig – SOP #144) 1988

This bloke called Philip Seifert is responsible for this ,undoubtedly with the assistance of Al Margolis one would assume,it being on his Sound Of Pig cassette label.

Kerazzy musique concréte,with liberal use of a second hand emulator to blind the less informed with yesterdays science.

Yeah it gets on yer Tits,but somebody out there who was locked in a cupboard for their early adulthood will find this very novel indeed.

Its certainly fun to listen to the cutting edge of low budget sound technology in 1988,especially by persons who were thankfully clueless as to what those charming,....and this part is satirical,so don't cancel me,.... coloured gentlemen,... were doing with the same kit in Chicago and Detroit at the same time.....ie, stuff like this with a marching beat and a lot of electronic squelching noises stuffed in there....("Acid House is two minutes and 30 seconds of squelching noises" said an anonymous wag in 1988,rather like John Lydon's description of the sex act a decade earlier?...ok,rumbled....it was me wot said it,about five minutes ago!Ok?

As I notice that Jeremy Clarkson got cancelled by Jeff Bozos this morning for saying this very Die Or Diy observation on the subject of the lovely Megan Markle....i will repeat:

"At night, I'm unable to sleep as I lie there, grinding my teeth and dreaming of the day when she is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant, 'Shame!' and throw lumps of excrement at her." ....couldn't have possibly put it better myself.

The axe is being wielded for offense givers such as we and he,as one heads in a runaway bus towards the dull and sinister world of terminal fucking boredom during the horrors of the oncoming 'Nice' revolution....the exact opposite of Skullflowers superb "Exquisite Fucking Boredom" album (up next),but something more akin to "La Terreur" after the first bit of the French Revolution;except in that terror, you could still make a joke and survive.

Yes i did say 'Charming Coloured Gentlemen'...soon to be a capital offence punishable by forcing this smart arse to clean out the latrines of the Re-education centers that were once our homes.My father did the same thing during his incarceration by the Nazi's in World War 2, cleaning out the 'twenty holer',as he put it, latrine in the POW Camp.

The old newspeak word 'Degenerate' will be replaced with the Nadsat friendly term,'Offensive' in the realms of art and entertainment.

But at least the Nazi's oganized sn exhibition before they burnt it.Hide your hard-drives in a lead lined box before the "Great Erasure"....no,not the pop duo, the satellite Erasure beam that will cleanse the earth of anything Offensive.The Year Zero of Nice. 

Tracklist:

A1 Messy's Alarm Cock
A2 Furniture Cornices
A3 Ocelot Acrobat
A4 Passage To Dadaville
A5 Hebjirma
A6 A Pigeon Flies Against A Fish
A7 Mala Baka Haka
A8 Absorbing Roots Of Rest
A9 Radiophonics
A10 Scaffolds In The Collapsed Lung
A11 Preparation Of Glue From Bones
A12 Epoxy Faced Bison
A13 Dugong
A14 Distressed Goresa In A Plaid Tie
A15 Basket, Bottle, And Wallpaper
A16 Cacomixtle
B1 The Naivete Of Slirpin Serpents
B2 Intentions Of The Heel
B3 Slivery Moths Apply Their Makeup
B4 Birdman Gets A Bismuth Bath
B5 Slivery Moths Reach For Hands
B6 Thirsty Rain Doves
B7 Lustre
B8 Loplop Eats A Banana
B9 Wireless Sidesteps

B10 Outro

DOWNLOAD before offence is taken HERE!

Doom – "War Crimes (Inhuman Beings)" (Peaceville – VILE 4) 1988

With the haunting image of a dead young woman probably reaped and murdered, lying in a street in Ukraine,and driven over by several Russian tanks operated by laughing Russian murderers lingering in my thoughts.One wonders what possible music from within the barricades of the rock idiom could encapsulate the horror and anger generated by these inhuman war crimes,and still be able to dance to it?

Of course I reached for Doom's debut, and cranked up the amps.

Yeah,it sounds like a crustier Discharge with different vocals,and i'm not too much of a fan of that Growly " Your Grandmother sucks cocks in Hell" vocal style so beloved of Grindcore, but......there's something relevant within the dark walls of this relentless high speed bludgeon that is the perfect accompaniment to this ,among many such evils perpetrated in the current Doom laden situation we find ourselves falling into.

This blog started during the Credit crunch,and flourished through the insane Pandemic voluntary imprisonment years,and both of these are still with us to some extent...especially the debt,debt slaves which we are.Now,we have a very real nuclear threat like it was the 80's again.....not a bad thing in someways?.....World leaders with the IQ's of a slug pushing a malformed idiot's philosophy,in the words of one slug brained idiot....the rise and rise of Semi-Fascism.

On top of all that,galloping inflation, and an energy debt crisis spiraling exponentially out of control,where energy Bills are close to being more than a living wage.Its expensive, but strangely they don't seem to be running out of the stuff....if you've got the dosh there's an unlimited supply apparently!?

Environmental change is forgotten as priorities turn towards obtaining enough food to eat,and we're burning our houses to keep ourselves warm again.As our delightful Russian chum's are burning off 10 million dollars of unsold methane gas into the atmosphere every day!?.....we've never had it so bad,and are catching up World War 2 fast.

Here's the best part....and it's gonna get worse!.....We're DOOOOMED!

(see what I did there?)

Tracklist:

Gloom Side:
A1 Confusion (Intro)
A2 Life Lock
A3 Slave To Convention
A4 A Dream To Come True
A5 Drowning In The Mainstream
A6 Same Mind
A7 Relief
A8 After The Bomb
A9 Stop-Gap
A10 Scared

Shroom Side:
B1 Sick Joke
B2 Natural Abuse
B3 Exploitation
B4 Beat The Boss
B5 Money Drug
B6 Fear Of The Future
B7 No Religion
B8 Phobia For Change
B9 Multinationals
B10 Obscenity
B11 War Crimes

DOWNLOAD some more impending doom HERE!

Doxa Sinistra – "Newsflashes" (Trumpett – TRUM 0031) 1988

More Dutch pals in the form of smartarse Industrial Electronic quartet Doxa Sinistra.Who treat us to an off kilter excursion down the Paul Hardcastle n-n-n-n-n-n-n-Nineteen route,by sampling off the telly,specifically news broadcasts,and some Clint Eastwood samples,adequately Hardcastled on a couple of tracks. It sounds as if they mostly still adhered to the old Skool Industrial technique of using magnetic tape  rather than shelling out for an Ensoniq Mirage,as featured by the bloody fucking awful Big Audio Dynamite group around this time, featuring the Posh Rasta himself, Don Letts. I even bought one when it was cheap in 1989,cost me £500 quid from the big music shop in the centre of Town;...you know,one of those places that leave you standing there like a plonker while the shop assistant plays a Rick Wakeman number on the latest Yamaha digital piano .

"Alright mate, wot can I do you for?" it quipped;.....they are all 'funny' of course,....and pretentiously laid back as if on weed like the failed pop stars the staff of these horrendous places, without exception, were.

"He wants to buy a Mirage!" he shouts across the shop floor."Ha Ha Ha! responds the rather unoccupied staff.

"You're lucky, there's one left, and its on sale", says Dick Wakeman...."Sure you don't want an Emulator 2?"..."er no?"I mumbled,reluctantly revealing my wad of fifties clutched tightly in my fist.

One of the best things about the Internet is that all these places and their equivalents, have now become figments of their own non-existent imaginations,and are now ,thankfully, bankrupt.

The Mirage worked just fine for a while, until the Floppy Disc Drive died. The keyboard was actually rather good,so i used it as a master controller,more than a crap sampler.

One did actually go back to that very same musical emporium to purchase an Akai sampler in the 90's,but this time i was served by a rather attractive young lady,the failed poop-stars were now noticeably absent,who proceeded to sell me anything she could think of,and largely succeeded.The flirting ended as soon as the transactions were registered.....her choice/loss. 

One must say, there doesn't seem to be that much News sampling going on in these Doxa Sinistra tracks,I thought I'd mention them by name to remind you of the subject of this waffle,but there is quite a bit of that Dutch ability to talk like an automated voice program going on.The electronic,mostly analogue,backing tracks would have benefited greatly from no speaking Dutchmen or news samples polluting the nicely minimal EBM Industrial tunage of this,lets face it,it's a concept album innit?...but that's always been the downfall of many a concept album is it not? The reliance on filler tracks to convey a story-line that no-one gives a flying duck about.

The Who's "Tommy" being a prime example....or is that atrocity better described as a 'Rock Opera',like Jesus Christ Superstar, or a lurid example of why Concept albums are generally as terrible as they seemed to obviously be on paper? Tommy would have benefited greatly by the violent death of the title character by the end of track one,then cut it down to be the marvelous EP it certainly should have been.....as for Quadrophenia.....don't get me started!

Tracklist:

Channel One
A1 Station Call
A2 Newsflashes
A3 Media Bomb
A4 Remote Birth Control
A5 Foreign Correspondent
A6 Swindle
A7 The Sky Is The Limit

Channel Two
B1 Televisor
B2 Call Now!
B3 Cocoon World
B4 International Cycling Sport
B5 Il Spirito Di Sergio Leone
B6 The 12 Miss Pelicoes

DOWNLOAD to interrupt your normal program HERE!

Stretchheads – "Five Fingers, Four Thingers, A Thumb, A Facelift, And A New Identity" (Moksha Recordings – SOMALP 2) 1988

Stretchheads first proper Lp,with a few 30 second symphonies repeated in new form from the earlier cassette. Short songs were rather fashionable around 1988,epitomized by Napalm Death's "You Suffer", clocking in at one second...unless some smart alec adds reverb like on the Peel Session version,so that version was timed approaching the ten second barrier.

One must take issue whether a 20 second tune actually qualifies as an actual 'Song'? 

Just playing a high speed riff with a lunatic repeating a phrase a few times, then stopping at a random moment around twenty seconds isn't really enough.I mean, what's stopping you playing the same riff for a whole hour  with the same sentence screamed over and over again (sounds good to me?) ,is that a different song?Or Not a song?

An Avant Garde statement on the disposable culture of the 20th and 21st century it may be,but Songs have to have some kind of structure to be called yer actual 'Song' innit?

Personally I'd like just one half hour tune, played in the classic Stretchheads' Beefheart meets Melt Banana in  Pycho-Ward Z at hyper-sonic speed stylee.....no unwelcome end of track and here's another one stuff;a bit like watching adverts i suppose...or another Avant-Garde Proto-Grind statement on the corporate west....I dunno do I?

Either way, there was certainly nothing like this bunch of nutters in 1988...at least outside of Japan.

The Front cover depicts a classic scene of Spontaneous Human Combustion,leaving just the extremities .......kinds sums up The Stretchheads most adequately indeed.

Tracklist:

1 Fans
2 Long Faced German
3 Headache
4 Asylum Suck
5 Skinrip
6 Yiddish Yoddle
7 Shape & Cleanse
8 Land Of Ming
9 Rex Perplexed
10 Semtex
11 I Should Be So Lucky
12 Confront
13 Sidatorium
14 Spleng
15 Archive Footage Of A Fish
16 Jaw Box
17 Chicken Fish
18 Everythings Going To Break In A Minute
19 Ilness
20 Cancer
21 Shut Up

DOWNLOAD a classic case of spontaneous musical combustion HERE!

Frank Sidebottom – "13:9:88" (In Tape – IT SIXTY) 1988

 

There ain't many demented children's entertainers who do cover versions of The Fall and Captain Beefheart,in fact you can count them on one extended middle finger.

Of course Frank Sidebottom is that entertainer;just one in a lengthy line of 'hip' northern English and Scottish muscians (He's Chris Sievey of the Freshies to repeat myself) who also moonlighted more successfully as comedians.

The art of marrying comedic song and dance with music is largely not to be recommended, but up north one has to have a sense of humour,especially if you live in somewhere like Rochdale in the 1980's. Even Mark E. Smith could have easily been a comedian;i had visions of him becoming the new Les Dawson later in life,but unfortunately he never made it too far past 60.

And of course let's not forget this is where Mrs Merton, aka Mrs Peter Hook of Joy Division (Caroline Aherne) got her big break.Going on to do the Award Winning "Mrs Merton Show",and The Award winning "Royal Family".....before succumbing to the rather less funny reality of cancer.

Nearly all of the above are dead!?

Bloody 'ell, they're dropping like bloody fly's!?

Tracklist:

A1 On The Train
A2 Blackpool Fool
A3 Tickets Please
A4 To The Beach
A5 Hit The North
A6 Hit The Arcades
A7 Hit Dick Turpin
A8 Frank Checks Into Auntie Edie's
A9 Mrs. Taylor
A10 Room With A View?
A11 Phone Conversation
A12 Off To The Funfair
A13 Mirror Man/Mirror Puppet
A14 Gimme Dat Harp, Little Frank
A15 Frank Hires A Boat
B1 Frank's Luxury Bachelor Penthouse Pad
B2 Debbie Greenwood
B3 Mrs. Merton
B4 Late Night Problems
B5 Me Great Big Floor Scrapbook
B6 Golden Mile
B7 Breakfast At Edie's
B8 Car And Punchline Trouble
B9 Go Away
B10 M.A.T.B.W.M.T.D.B. (Acts 1 & 2)
B11 Back At Edie's
B12 Gipsy Rose Sidebottom
B13 Very Very Big Special Case

DOWNLOAD HERE! you ungrateful bunch of front-bottoms you!