Jandek ‎– "Aarhus Sunday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0842) 2020

He gets around a bit these days does Jandek.

Here he produces a drifting, shimmeringly wobbly, set joined by fellow non-musician, Phil Todd, of Ashtray Navigations/Betley Welcomes Careful Drivers non-fame. As Phil has the same lack of conventional musical ability as the star of this evenings performance,the set rarely attains an cohesiveness at all. Like a breeze among the leaves of the Singing Ringing Tree blown by an evil dwarf,plus some atonal fairy dust heavily sprinkled by the 'Nerve Ending Fairy'.(sorry,there wasn't a proper clip on you tube i'm astonished to announce!?)

If the sound of limp appendages randomly stroking the strings of a guitar and the keys of a piano in a light breeze is your idea of fun then this is the 'Pet Sounds' of Outsider music.

Tracklist:

1-1 Your Scarf In Denmark 16:25
1-2 Gift Of Love 11:14
1-3 The Lady Wears The Jewels 13:55
1-4 All The Shadows That Be 13:00
2-1 Little Bit Crazy 10:06
2-2 Where You Want Me 15:19
2-3 I Still Have You 10:19
2-4 Why Not Here 9:40

DOWNLOAD from aarhus to your house HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Amsterdam Saturday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0841) 2020

 A more traditional sounding 'Electric Jandek' performance on this one.At the venue of legends,the Paradiso. Slightly 'Bootleggy' in its sonic fidelity,which suits Jandek perfectly.

Here he's joined by Phil Todd of Betly Welcomes Careful Drivers and Ashtray Navigations fame on Bass and Distortion pedal(?).

All the songs,pieces,tracks sound like the same songs,pieces, tracks, as this meandering trio search for that missing note.

He also did a gig in Rotterdam which was attended by our erstwhile Indonesian correspondant Henk Madrotter, and videoed......which you can check out here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-Gos4pDyo0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca8iqTNhyB8

If only the occupying Nazi's had Jandek to play through their Tannoy system in Amsterdam during the 40's.....Anne Frank would have come out with her hands up ready for Auchwitz.Either that or someone in the know would have shouted "She's in the Attic.....just stop playing that god awful racket!"

Tracklist:

1 The Sentence 10:59
2 Am I Dreaming 10:58
3 Crowding The Couches 4:44
4 King Of The Knight 6:07
5 Memphis Ticket 10:06
6 I Stalked The World 6:07

DOWNLOAD some horrible moaning noises from jandek's two lips from amsterdam HERE!

Prick Decay ‎– "Junk Operatics: Quasi Thot Stimulants". (Betley Welcomes Careful Drivers) 1995

Prick Decay must be Scottish, and they are apparently? I say they, its mainly a chap called Dylan Nyoukis,and anyone daft enough to collaborate with him....which at some point included alt-rock eternal teenager Thurston Moore,late of Sonic Youth.
At least Pete Townsend only mentioned a wish to die before he got old in a song that wasn't necessary to play every night, but Sonic Youth had the word 'Youth' out front, even when they were very visibly, NOT young. Ahhhh, the optimism of the younger generation,too young to really know disappointment, and too stupid to realise that we're all gonna get old and die.
Listening to the jumbled racket of Prick Decay, its obvious that Dylan knows all too well the rapidly approaching inevitablity of the curtains closing on the sick pantomime of 'life'.
His patented (not) method of sound construction, which he calls , Junk Operatics,is nothing new or inovative;its something everyone was doing from the incept date of DIY back in the late seventies when the humble cassette recorder became affordable for council estate scum like me.
We just didn't have the arrogance to give it a name.It like saying you'd invented Country and Western a few weeks ago while sitting on the Bog.
He's even written a full A4 thesis on the subject, included with the tape, that sets out the various 'types' of J.O. that are possible.
He could have also invented the Abstract Impressionism that adorns the cover for all we know......he probably thinks so.
Yes Dylan?.....tell us unworthy specimens of your genius:

It's a bit blurry, but basically here's the abridged version:

"Junk Operatics is the basic overlaying of four or more sounds.
the important thing to remember is the sounds should be recorded without listening to any of the sounds previously recorded, that way the random factor is added and the Opera is fuelled." (D.Nyoukis,1995)

Tracklisting:

A- Junk Opera #1
B- Junk Opera #2

DOWNLOAD some junk rock HERE!

Dogliveroil ‎– "Amp Tamper Rampant Pecker" (Union Pole ‎– UP37) 1996

What was the worst most intense pain I ever had in my sad little life? Was it my Kidney Stones?...Nah!....My broken ribs and collapsed Lung....Nah!......yup, you guessed it, it was Toothache at the weekend when no dentist was available, and the drugs from the Pharmacy weren't strong enough.Basically the only thing that could have worked would have been morphine,and me being straight edge would have no access to illegal suppies of such a substance...unlike you lot I guess?
It was around the time of the second Gulf war, the Shock'n'Awe thing.During my sleepless stupor i could take my mind off the arcing electric cable in my dying tooth by watching some live war on the 24 hour news feed.Unbeliveable. The seige of Basra by the British Army was live throughout the night......this doesn't happen anymore.Its bad for morale and lessens support for illegal wars,and no government wants that do they?
Dogliveroil...er..did I say Phil Todd of Ashtray Navigations is in this fab combo?.....manage to capture the sheer hell of toothache very accurately in two 15 minute parts. This is the sound of having nowhere to hide from unstoppable pain.
Don't forget to brush your teeth kids.

The classic Ren and Stimpy Cartoon 'Rens Toothache' kinda sums up both the experience of listening to Dogliveroil, and my Toofache episode very adequately....click here to experience this landmark piece of television... hopefully?

Its new Dog(liveroil).... from Blammo!
.....yeah ok, i'm a shameless Ren and Stimpy fan,frankly the best thing ever made for television.

Tracklisting:

A Toothache Comes In Spring Part One 14:57
B Toothache Comes In Spring Part Two 14:39

DOWNLOAD some health destroying oil in appropriately super low resolution HERE!

Dogliveroil ‎– "Tamagotchi Nappy* Rash" (Vigilant ‎– VIGILMC002) 1997

When one veers over towards nineties style harsh noise cassettes,it begins to sound a lot like Groundhog Day. Which is appropriate because,this being 'Groundhog Day'(wot?) I just watched.....open-mouthed I may add......a live news feed of the 'Groundhog Day' ceremony in some white only backwards backwater called 'Punxsutawny, in Pennslyvania. It seems that a bunch of members of the fucking illuminati, decked out in creepy victorian outfits, ask a Groundhog called 'Phil', what the weathers gonna be like in the coming year!? You couldn't make this shit up!? No wonder Trump* got voted in, he seems normal compared to these , male only, relics from some obscene secret society.Trump and Putin are highly likely to be members.
So, as to avoid a Groundhog Day version of Harsh Noise, I've gone for a more articulate, nuanced Noise, from 'Dogliveroil' based in the grim hole that is Stoke-On-Trent. Possibly the Punxsutawny of the black country in ye olde england.The place that gave the world Discharge and D-Beat, if not an actual bodily discharge of the puss variety, or Vomit at the thought that actual intelligent lifeforms live there!....I say intelligent, but this place did also give us Robbie Williams, which is a crime that deserves the place to be wiped from the face of the Earth and turned into a country park.
Rather than Phil the Groundhog Dogliveroil has a another Phill,as in Phil Todd, of the 'Betly Welcomes careful Drivers'label and 'Ashtray Navigations', as an integral member.
The noise ,thankfully, is not a constant barrage of unplugged TV white noise, but has space in between the grinds, scrapes, and frying circuitry.This lends quality to the horrible sounds dribbled hence.
So, this Phil (Todd), is predicting a very noisy February, and a throughly miserable coming year.
On a more Positive note, Phil the Groundhog has predicted a 'Beautiful Spring'????.....he did also say that The Beatles 'Rock!', so this prediction is currently under intense scrutiny.

*Note for Americans who accidently were brought here by googling 'Groundhog Day':

1/ A Nappy is a Diaper
2/ A Bog-Seat is a toilet seat.
3/ Trump is your president!!!!????
4/ Trump is also an anglicism for 'Fart'

Tracklisting:

A Mounting The Bog-Seat* To Oblivion 17:58
B Bucket Without A Shadow 18:46

DOWNLOAD again and again HERE!

Thirdorgan ‎– "Mirrorman" (Betley Welcomes Careful Drivers ‎– CRASH 007) 1996

Also on Phil Todd's (mr Ashtray Navigations) 'Betly Welcomes Careful drivers' label, one can find plenty of obscure Japnoise.A fine example being Akihiro Shimizu, otherwise known as 'Thirdorgan'.
If you had any paint left to strip from your walls, this should finish it off for you.
Mirrorman,FYI, is one of those Japanese super-heroes frequently seen saving Tokyo from some deranged monster.Check picture above.
So if you think the Japanese aren't weird???Check out Mirrorman in action against something called Darkron (click Here)...or is that Dark Ron? Dark Ron describes one of my dodgier uncles exactly.

Oh yeah!....This tape was Part of the 'Are You Sane Enough To Drive?' series.
Includes ,Reflective covers,foldout insert and Mirrorman paper mask.

Tracklisting:

A1 Untitled 10:20
A2 Untitled 12:51
B1 Untitled 17:18
B2 Untitled 2:07

DOWNLOAD then take a long look at yourself in the mirror...man HERE!

Ashtray Navigations ‎– "Drain'd" (Betley Welcomes Careful Drivers) 1996

Another one of those microphone without wind shield in a gale noise cop outs. We've all done it, and thought we were very clever didn't we? This was Ashtray Navigations attempt at being clever.
There's only so many time one can listen to frying circuitry, and I passed my quota a looooong time ago.
But, there'll be someone out there who will dig this crazy single sided cassette fuzz-out as if it was the first time again.I suppose Noise is a bit like Sex I guess?

Tracklisting:

1. Drain'd (46:21)

DOWNLOAD from the drainage system of world culture HERE!