Lindsay Cooper – "The Small Screen, Music For Television" (Sync Pulse Records – 625) 1984

In an age where the television screen is no longer small, but the size of medium sized cinema screen,we are treated to a bunch of channel 4 commissioned films from the first year or so of  Britain's fourth channel.

Back in 1982 I excitedly rushed back from school to catch the start of a brand new channel which promised adventurous and challenging programming. I got home just in time to see the start at 5 o'clock,only to witness the naffest of quiz shows ever invented...'Countdown', the ultimate show for geeks and nerds everywhere!?....the first episode featuring celebrity farmer Ted Moult, who subsequently blew his brains out a few years after his character was stained by appearing on Countdown in the coveted role of Smart Arse.This death by boredom atrocity is still going today,although it has a sexier lady on the vowels, and consonants,the lovely Rachel Riley,and also an x-rated version presented by that potty mouthed tax evader Jimmy Carr.

The real tasty programmes started after the 9pm watershed,with the very wonderful "Five Go Mad In Dorset",featuring a wizard bunch of uncouth 'Alternative' comedian types,playing the roles of Enid "Nazi Sympathiser" Blyton's thoroughly racist,sexist and arrogant little twats, The Famous Five.

Then later still we got the type of experimental films that Lindsay Cooper and her ilk would have made soundtracks for, like the spiffing efforts featured on this rather splendid cassette.

She wasn't too bad for a girl!? Hurrah!

Notes:
Tracks A1 to A5:
Songs from five short films made by Lis Rhodes & Jo Davis (Four Corners for Channel 4).

Tracks A6 to A9:
Green Flutes, a film about a Republican flute band in Glasgow, directed by Nancy Schiesari for Channel 4.

Track A10:
Domestic Bliss a comedy/drama directed by Joy Chamberlain (Newsreel Collective for Channel 4).

Tracks B1 to B8:
With Our Children, a film about lesbian mothers directed by Melanie Chait (Lusia Films for Channel 4).

Tracklist:

A1 The Song Of The Goose & The Common
A2 Off The Fence
A3 Fair Exchange
A4 Windscale
A5 The Number 8 Bus
A6 Belfast
A7 Fanfare
A8 Flute Tune
A9 Priesthill
A10 End Credits
B1 Court Entry
B2 Lord Wilberforce
B3 Home Movie 1
B4 Open Letters
B5 Linda B.
B6 Home Movie 2
B7 Three Heads
B8 Julia/End Credits

DOWNLOAD via your small screen HERE!

Lindsay Cooper – "Outtakes For Other Occasions" ( No Man's Land – NML 8603 C) 1986

Well when I said that at least there were no feminist lyrics berating men for being men and not women, on The Feminist Improvising Group tape,yeah?...Well it seems that they....I used the word 'They' which in feminist newspeak usually means 'Men'...they,not 'they',saved that one for this tape of soundtracks for zero-budget plays and films that no-one got to see except a few chin stroking artphag's and the people who made them. 

"Score" from "Give Us A Smile",sung by improvising vocalist Maggie Nichols,with words by...wait for it....the Leeds Animation Workshop?... has all the paranoia and anti-male propaganda anyone could wish for......yeah of course everything is designed to keep women in their place,y'know, the kitchen and bed etc, blah blah blah.

It's enough to turn anyone into a misogynist inside three minutes.

'No Man's Land' is the label,but I notice Chris Cutler,and Fred Frith featuring prominently on the credits,dunno about you but the last time I checked they were officially 'Male'?

Otherwise, musically great,and reassuringly short. 

Tracklist:

From The Play "The Execution" 4:05
A1 Tsar's Band
A2 The Assassination
A3 The Evening Before
-
A4 Score (From The Film "Give Us A Smile") 3:00
B1 Washing Line (From The Film "Green Flutes")0:35
B2 Score (From The Film "Against The Current") 3:05
B3 Curtain Music From The Play "The Time Of Their Lives" 1:20
B4 Trih's Song 1:23

DOWNLOAD the occasional outtake HERE!

Feminist Improvising Group – "Feminist Improvising Group" (Self-released C-60) 1979

Everybody loves a feminist don't they?

So the challenge is how to alienate as many potential supporters of the cause as possible. This is normally achieved by letting Germain Greer talk uninterrupted for about twenty minutes. Another effective method of closing ears and minds to the feminist cause is by forming a free improvisation group and attaching the word feminist to the collective moniker.

Apparently Cumbrian folk singer Frankie Armstrong was once connected to this ensemble formed by Henry Cow bassoonist Lindsay Cooper,although not long enough to damage her virtually already non-existent career. This stuff could clear a room of Feminists in as long as it takes to burn a couple of peek-a-boo bra's. There will inevitably be a few blokes left to endure the noise, so they can brown nose the ladies with some opposite gender 'support', read that as the opposite genders hidden agenda,as most chaps think this Trojan horse approach will secure entry into the ladies under garments...think again chaps....ok yes it does work sometimes ...statistically.

At least they don't sing lyrics about all men being potential rapists....we already know that, and don't want to be preached at thanks.....we know, and it's to the male sex's credit that so few of them actually rape anyone at all...including other men.Never mentioned is that men are more frequently the victim of male violence than the fairer sex...world war 2 being the zenith of this genocide.Not helped in the previous war by thee so-called Fairer sex doling out white feathers to male pacifists shaming them as cowards.

Is there a Black Lives Matter Improvising group in formation?...if there is they are too late,as most of sixties free jazz beat everyone to it.

DOWNLOAD proof that women can make the same god-awful racket as their male counterparts HERE!...now that's equality?