Astral Social Club ‎– "#6" (Self-released CD-r) 2005

There's loads of these y'know.......getting bored now,so this is the last one.
Got nothing to say either, so here's a picture of a cat:

Tracklisting:
1 Untitled 4:07
2 Untitled 0:43
3 Untitled 5:27
4 Untitled 4:20
5 Untitled 3:22
6 Untitled 2:13
7 Untitled 3:37
8 Untitled 6:14
9 Untitled 4:39

DOWNLOAD from the astral club plain HERE!

Astral Social Club ‎– "#5" (Self-Released CD-r) 2005

After having witnessed Lady GaGa delivering her vomit inducing acceptance speech at the Oscars,I can forward the good news to Neil Campbell, that never giving up will inevitably lead to winning an Oscar? GaGa informs us that after all those years of her back-breaking toil, the hard work has paid off. Let that nugget of information ring melodiously in the ears of  fruit pickers and building labourers everywhere. When you get home after a 14 hour day, to eat yer baked beans, and rest your totally fucked back, remember that Lady Gaga has been working hard too you selfish bleeders. Those days when Lady G's lickle fingers were sore from playing her piano for a full  half an hour, non-stop, then maybe another half an hour later , must have been sheer hell. And theres you, lording it with your feet up, eating the beans you got from the food bank, complaining about your health problems when poor millionaire celebrities have had to cope with the stress of doing the thing they love as a career,and working a couple of months in the year, at the mercy of those harsh razor tongued critics.
I doubt Neil Campbell would call what he does as 'Hard', but he will never give it up, and like Gaga will one day win an Oscar for best 'original song'.That would probably make me watch this sickening self-congratulatory back-slapping atrocity exhibition for once.
Oh Yeah, by the way Gaga, your so-called 'Original Song',in a film which is a remake of a remake of a remake, is fucking shit.
At the end of the day, who do you want in your nuclear bunker when the balloon goes up, a useless song and dance celebrity, or the fruit-picker with the fucked back?....thats right, Lady Gaga. As long as she brings some champagne,and signs my Flock Of Seagulls CD.
Giggle,giggle,I'm so excited,I can't wait for the next war.

Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 7:39
2 Untitled 12:13
3 Untitled 2:07
4 Untitled 15:40
5 Untitled 14:15

DOWNLOAD the oscar winner for best original drone HERE!

Astral Social Club ‎– "#4" (Self-Released CD-r) 2005

As aural spam, or even astral spam, are a major source of material in the Astral Social Club. I thought I wouldn't waste your time with my silly opinions and review this album using more Spam from my junk folder. You've already had advice on enlarging your organ, so now I bring you an opportunity to be richer than your wildest dreams and massively sucessful by doing precisely....Nothing. Except making a quick Whats-App call to join the Illuminati. I did it, and now i'm penniless after The 'Illuminati' emptied my bank account, and ordered a massive plasma screen Television from Amazon in my name.

I'm sure that was just some kind of bureaucratic error, so if you want $600,000 US Dollars and a Golden Ring!!!...yes, a ring I said! Then read this important message:

"WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF RICHES,FAME AND POWERS. Are you a business man or woman, politician, musician,pastor,lawyer,actor,actress,banker,Footballer,doctor, engineer, model,graduate, student,seeking wisdom, fame,power, knowledge and wealth and you. want to be rich, powerful and be famous in life. You can achieve your dreams by being a member of the Great ILLUMINATI brother hood. With this all your dreams and heart desire can be fully accomplish, if you really want to be a member of the great ILLUMINATI brother hood, Note: newly recruited members are entitled with 600,000 US Dollars , A Golden Ring, that will protect and guild you from enemies, and a free visa to United State Of America . Please will do not share blood. Kindly Email us on worldilluminaticentre@gmail.com or whats app us on +2349031652461"

Important Note:

I'm assuming you are supremely intelligent if you read this blog, so I trust you have not called that number.If you did, this is a disclaimer,as I am not responsible for anyone misunderstanding obvious satire.

I'm already in the Illuminati anyways...it ain't up to much.Never get christmas cards from the Rothschilds,and don't get the chance to order False Flag terrorist attacks....never!!! I'm thinking about sending my ring back. Anyone know their address?


Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 4:54
2 Untitled 12:40
3 Untitled 2:17
4 Untitled 3:05
5 Untitled 5:23
6 Untitled 6:45
7 Untitled 4:27
8 Untitled 4:16
9 Untitled 5:18

DOWNLOAD from the great temple of riches HERE!

Astral Social Club - "#3" (Self-released CD-r) 2005

I found this important piece of information in my spam section, which i think sums up this experimental drone noise variety performance rather adequately.....also I've ran out of superlatives for anymore Neil campbell projects so here's something as surreal as the music....behold the wisdom of Dr Olhia.....

Relanes Ihab said...

"Hello viewers around the Globe, I was despondent because i had a very small penis, about 2.5 inches soft and 4 inches hard not nice enough to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist called Dr, OLHIA and i decided to contact him on his {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis Enlargement, Within 3 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, " and now it just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 9 inches longer, and i had to settle out with my Ex girlfriend Ella, i was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my sex and i have got a large penis. Am so happy, thanks to Dr OLIHA I also learn that Dr OLIHA also help with Breast Enlargement Hips and Bums Enlargement etc.. If you are in any situation with a little Penis, weak ejaculation, small breast_hips_bums do get to Dr OLIHA now for help on his email {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} or whats app him number: +2349038382931"

Please note this isn't me saying this, its Relanes Ihab....my penis is 4 inches soft and 2.65" hard, i'll gice you the radius later on so you can work out the circumference if you have nothing better to do.....whatever that could be leaves me speechless??

Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 8:30
2 Untitled 2:45
3 Untitled 3:33
4 Untitled 3:56
5 Untitled 1:20
6 Untitled 7:11
7 Untitled 1:26
8 Untitled 15:16

DOWNLOAD and increase the shortness of your penis HERE!

Astral Social Club ‎– "#2" (Self-Released CD-r) 2005

A second volume of Neil Campbell's abstract semi-improvised sound mixing, as his Astral Social Club shadow project.

As I have nothing short of eff all to say this evening, I'll keep it short and say that, "This is effing good shit that would make a jolly fine soundtrack to an alternative Bunga Bunga party."

Its music that perfectly describes the moment you regain consciousness in the Dentists chair and notice that your belt an flys have been tampered with and your bottom has an unexplained throbbing sensation. We've all been there.....haven't we?????

Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 2:48
2 Untitled 5:25
3 Untitled 2:23
4 Untitled 6:57
5 Untitled 3:18
6 Untitled 2:52
7 Untitled 9:26
8 Untitled 8:24
DOWNLOAD from the astral social plain HERE!

Astral Social Club ‎– "#1" - (Self Released CD-r) 2005

Neil Campbell's solo and small group outings post-Vibracathedral Orchestra project.

Its less dependant on the Drone, and even veers towards the 'ambient House' end of the toilet on track four.

I assume Campbells moniker for this project alludes to a fantasy version of the Northern English phenomenon of the 'Working Mens Club', full of Flat Caps, stale ale, and cigarette smoke....I was gonna say Fag smoke,but there were absolutely zero Homosexuals in Northern England until very recently.Just like there are No Gays in Iran. Christ knows what went on in those male bogs back in the seventies!?

The Astral Social Club is an antidote to all those Racist comedians and cheapo organists who provided the entertainment to these 'Working Class' morons. I'd have loved to see the reaction Neil Campbell would have received if by some impossible quirk of fate he was booked as the entertainment at a Working Mens Club in Scunthorpe, for example. Blood would have flowed.

If you are unfamiliar with the strange world of the W.M.C., also known as being 'posh', watch this clip from the British TV version, "The Wheeltappers and Shunters Social Club" and if you want the uncensored version, watch Bernard Manning at his very worst.

Now you know why Brits are weird.
Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 9:50
2 Untitled 4:16
3 Untitled 6:24
4 Untitled 6:45
5 Untitled 4:06
6 Untitled 1:18
7 Untitled 11:32

DOWNLOAD from the wheeltappers and shunters astral social club HERE!