Enski Boski – "I Found Jesus In A Gay Bar" (Hamster Records And Tapes – HAM 13) 1984

Sorry for a prolonged absence on my part,but, these guys are just Krazy.

It sounds like the music a mom's basement dwelling guy with ADHD would send to the recording arm of Sony,fully expecting a lucrative contract in response. A sort of a less processable version of mid-period Associates,but with a mentally ill version of that bloke from Spandau Ballet crooning away instead of Billy Mackenzie; albeit with better song titles.

Whether Enski received the cleansing qualities of the Holy Spirit and accepted it as his own personal saviour is unclear.Or, as more likely, he actually found the son of god cruising for cock in in a Soho gay bar around the time that AIDS was becoming really popular. This would explain the presence of the Son Of God in yer actual Gay Bar,personally helping spread the virus person to person;or should i say Deity-to-Deity.

God himself ,as stated in his manifesto,doesn't have much time for Gay versions of his likeness,even though he allegedly created everything himself(?),also one would not be shocked to discover that he magicked up a lethal virus aimed at promiscuous homosexuals,and wanton womanhood to remove them from his DIY planet.That should teach them a lesson alright.

Rather than just conjure up a virus from nowhere, Jesus, being more moralistic than his dad,took the more virtuous route to mass murder, by actually stuffing his unprotected holy Phallus Dei up as many Gays as possible......a more hands on, pants down affair one could suggest? 

Or, Enski Boski could just be making it all up,taking inspiration from many a 'Holy' book filed in the Fiction Section at your local LGBTQ+ library.

Looking at other releases on this Terry Burrows (Jung Analysts) dominated label, there is an impossible to find compilation cassette called "If God Had Meant Us To Dance He Would Have Given Us Legs", which I think sums up everything very nicely.

Tracklist:

A1 The Amazing Inevitable Engendering Gene
A2 Fourteen With Freckles Eighteen With Acne
A3 Without The Enemy Within
A4 George Washington Said
A5 Chantage
B1 Korer Opportunities In Sinking Communtities
B2 Anodyne Noise Psilocybin Sight
B3 The Mercy Killing Conga
B4 The Importance Of Fraudulence
B5 Grocery Trouble
B6 Skid Row

DOWNLOAD HERE! with the thought that if God had meant for us to listen to music like this he'd have given us ears?

Jung Analysts – "The Wishing Balloons" (Hamster Records And Tapes – HAM 12)

Yukio Jung aka Terry Burrows, international best selling author and music expert...yes...EXPERT!....multi-instrumentalist and the like, so on and so on.

He being the only member of his 'group', Jung Analysts, he likes to chop things up  bruv......sorry, i'm writing this while watching The BRIT awards.I explain this away as 'just waiting for Match Of The Day'.Which, as Terry has creative connections with Leicester,is totally appropriate, as I'm salivating at the prospect of watching the highlights of  Leicester City stuffing pretentious wannabe's Tottenham Hotspur 4-1.A lot better than watching a constant stream of Pop school graduates and talent show runner-ups collecting awards for good behaviour as a small cog in the corporate entertainment machine.(Wet Leg excepted of course!) .....OMFG i'm just watching the most awful toe curling cringeworthy dance routine ever by some chubby but clubby 'out' knob'ead called Sam Smith(!?)acting all sexeh like,with a troupe of dancers clad in shiny PVC?...who ever the Fuck he(They) is or isn't...Fuck Me! Wot a Dick!......great relief...Match of the Day's just starting.....unbelievably The Foxes aren't on first????

I'd like to see some of these poor Dancers choreographing  moves to "Here's Lucifer' by Yukio Jung,which is probably as close as you can get to Dance music on Die or DIY? Lots of funky synth and funny noises with stops and changes of direction,slap bass with tongue in cheek clever clever lyrics,just to show us that, yes, he's really playing that bassoon. Alternative dance music,which means you can't dance to it I assume?The same way as 1980's Alternative Comedians weren't funny....the Jung Ones.

There are parts of this that I could imagine Paul Jung unleashing some blue eyed soul affront of,other parts needed David Sylvian to croon to.

It turns left, it turns right,it stops,and even goes backwards...I kid thee not.Future Disco.

The only thing that's wrong with all this is the tiresome 80's underground requirement of a Margaret Thatcher sample to portray her as some kind of special evil.You can't slag off Thatcher and remain a capitalist consumer,which even Crass were,They own their own commune,bought and paid for thanks to a mortgage arranged with a local bank!?,Which, in the grand definition of things in general makes them "Bourgeois".Whatever happened to Property is Theft?

Good to see the late Jackie Charlton mentioned in the track listing,which brings to mind a rather creepy single released by the deceased world cup winner about the good old days ooop north,sitting on granddad's knee, why aye Man! Thankfully there was no such thing as Pedophiles back then, nor Homosexuals,or them troublesome human rights......"Why Aye,it w'grate back then" slurs an obviously salivating Jackie.
Jackie Charton Says:

"Why Aye Man, it was sunday every day back then" said Jackie Charlton.He would have thought that this album was utter shite man.....but you'd know you were doing something wrong if it was any other way.

Tracklist:

A1 Here's Lucifer
A2 The Cocktail Party
A3 Hello, Dali!
A4 The Executive Toilet
A5 Punishment Is Art
A6 Some Loops
A7 Maggie's Apples
B1 Jackie Charlton Said…
B2 Youth Of A Nation In Heat
B3 Mathew
B4 In Calanda
B5 One Foot In The Greenhouse
B6 Max Pax Fiend
B7 Pluggin' For The Empire

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