The Astronauts – "Soon" (All The Madmen Records – MAD 11) 1986

"Who d'you fink you are?.....Lol Coxhill?" once did say Johnny Moped as Xerxes whipped out a saxophone. One of the many great quotes from the as yet unwritten Bible of Rock'n'roll.

"Who do you think you are?....Lol Coxhill??" (note the better spoken style text).....once did Mark Astronaut sayeth,not!

"Er...Yes",spake Lol Coxhill,who actually did appear on the first half of an Astronauts album. 

The 21st century version of his name, a contraction of Lawrence, now translates as "Laugh Out Loud',but nobodies laughing anymore. What this versatile master of the UK improvisation scene,and erstwhile member of the London Musicians Collective is doing on an album by semi-legendary anarcho hippy folk punk UK DIY band from Welwyn Garden City, otherwise known as The Astronauts, is anybodies guess;but check the record,check the guys track record;he put himself about a bit.....he is most definitely NOT appreciated.(Note the clever Fall references).....as is not Mark Astronaut himself.

Personally, i'd remove most of the sax wailing from the mix if I had the chance.

This is one of those records that you'd like to remix.....this'll be fun.......such as......I'd turn up the phasing on "Strictly Personal",remove the string sections from Bryter Layter, re-record the drums on "Loveless" and replace those sampler tone wheel guitar things with the real thing. I'd also erase "Bat Out Of Hell completely,and that sodding Gun'n'Roses LP too,no lips shall speak its name.....not so much a remix in those cases, more like retribution for past evil unleashed....not yer proper Evil either,a special shit kind of Evil.Erase them from history please Satan for devaluing your kind legacy,or give us the power O lord and master,and we shall skip joyfully into the flames.

In fact, if ever there were two albums that Lol Coxhill could have guested on it should have been those two atrocities.

Only when something's gone does one truly appreciate it's previous existence. And i'm not talking about Bat Out of Hell and that other one...oh yeah Bat Out Of Hell 2 ...I'm talking about The Astronauts ain't I? Since the noble DIY hippy-punk himself Mark Astronaut bought a one way ticket into infinity a couple of weeks ago.

So forgive me if you wanted more Rock In Opposition obscurities ,this is a much delayed tribute to the Bard of Welwyn garden City.

I do have the enviable quality of being a fickle and shallow hypocrite,son't you wish you were like me?

Said with no pretense of pride,I admit to being a bit hard on The Astronauts in the past,in fact most of the Anarcho-Punk scene.Over the past 13 years of this blog,I have slowly shifted my attitude to that trustafarian army......it's all grown on me hasn't it!? The Mob and Rudimentary Peni,were always a subject of my fickle admiration. Don't misunderstand me, the soapboxey nature of the sickening self-righteousness still makes me wanna vomit,but I have projected it all in a pissy yellowlight of charm for oneself. I now find myself thinking "Awww bless 'em" whenever Flux Of Pink Indians tells me of the horrors of a nuclear death....again!Even Crass...."AWWWWW Bless their little black cotton socks".

The Astronauts have been elevated over the years into the Mob/Rudimentary Peni division,having won on penalties in the play-offs......The Subhumans lost again,joining Zounds pressing for promotion from the 2nd tier again next year.

Now I listen joyfully to The Astronauts as a great lost Pop Band,in the same way as i was slowly converted to thoroughly enjoy REM.(!Guilt wot Guilt?) Funnily enough both groups have a certain Folky quality that i find rather appealing.

The Astronauts have gigs booked until October I notice.....sadly these will have to be fulfilled on the Astral Plain,as Mark succumbed to his own debated mortality......yet Bono lives!

NB:

This album consisted of some new material (A1-B1) and re-release of old tracks (B2-B5) taken from the original singles (literally, as the masters had gone missing).
New material recorded Dec. '85.
Old tracks 1979 - 1980.

Tracklist:

A1 Friends 5:53
A2 Books 3:12
A3 Blues For A Sceptic 7:13
A4 The Birds 9:04
B1 Following Orders 5:05
B2 Survivors 5:45
B3 All Night Party 2:40
B4 Young Man's World 4:19
B5 We Were Talking 4:28

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Various Artists ‎– "Slightly Weirdsville" (Fuck Off Records - FO5) 1981

Fuck Off Records go 'Anarcho Punk' compilation.
With The Astronauts, Zounds, and The Mob taking up the majority of the tape space, with only Danny and The Dressmakers giving us a welcome break from either crusty old anarcho-hippies or their preachy relatives from 1981.
I admit, this is from the more listenable end of the genre,with no crass-a-like shouty nonsense,and well crafted songs with lyrics one can hear. The uniformed masses of the Anarcho-punk hordes are a depressing mirror image of the Hive Minded masses,and i've always found it utterly repulsive with its silly banners and washed out blacks.Alas, I do have a soft spot for The Mob, who's musical incompetence is an attractive feature in their sparsely arranged and simple tunes. The Astronauts are a bit too close to, the even worse, Punky Folk style,that later gave birth to the abysmal Levellers, a group that makes me wanna smash up my record collection. The Astronauts are at least outsiders, so that scores many brownie points.
The Androids of Mu are, of course, Great; although they do represent the transient anarcho-hippie community turned punk; but I can overlook that faux-pas as the music is charmingly lightweight in that now rare anti-masculine ,girlie style.
Sticking out like a very sore thumb,both musically and in sound quality,is Cardiac Arrest; the precursor to Cardiacs, with their classic single which, along with their album, you can get here!
There's the Hippie Punk of Blank Space too.....not bad that.
On the more negative side is one of thee worst tracks i have ever heard on Fuck Off Wreckords;namely Bob Green's terrible post hippie awfulness about some rolling stones lick in the sky.....yuk! Also there is a totally unlistenable track from Daevid Allen and friends!
But don't worry, anything with Danny and the Dressmakers on it can't be anything other than Brilliant!

Tracklist:

A1The Astronauts -That's Where I'll Be
A2The Astronauts -The Night (Baby Sings Folk Songs Part 3)
A3The Astronauts -Midsummer Lullaby
A4Danny + The Dressmakers-Song Chocolate
A5Zounds -I Made It Happen
A6Zounds -Holland Park
A7Bob Green -The Last Great Rolling Stones Lick In The Sky
A8Daevid Allen & Friends-Zero

B1The Mob-Crying Again
B2The Mob -Frustration
B3The Mob -Never Really Cared
B4The Mob-Youth
B5Cardiac Arrest-A Bus For A Bus On The Bus
B6Horrible Nerds-Pope Paul Is Dead
B7Androids Of Mu-Every Time I Hear The Spirit
B8Androids Of Mu-Pretty Nun
B9Androids Of Mu-Ride Me, Easy Rider
B10Blank Space-You Can Try
B11Blank Space-Rest On Still Water
B12Danny + The Dressmakers-Edward Exposes Her Mammary Glands
B13Danny + The Dressmakers-TV Overdose On The Dole

DOWNLOAD this slightly dodgy tape HERE!

The Astronauts ‎– "Peter Pan Hits The Suburbs" (Bugle Records) 1981

Some of you will be pleased to know that this is the last Astronauts post on Die or DIY? Not everyone's folk/punk of choice. I myself, don't know whether they are shite or just reasonably good third division anarcho punk. Its an acquired taste, but I think I've acquired it somewhere, 'cus I like this LP, somewhat.  Lyrically Mark Astronaut is rather talented, but he is hindered by one of those irritating voices,akin to a rocking librarian. A good comparison is that bloke from the Deep Freeze Mice,or Shirley/Steve from the Spherical Objects; but compared to those two aurally offensive nightingales, Mark is Susan Boyle?

Tracklist:

A1	Everything Stops For Baby
A2	Protest Song
A3	Sod Us
A4	The Traveller
A5	How Green Was My Valley
B1	Still Talking
B2	Baby Sings Folk Songs
B3	How Long Is A Piece Of String
B4	Amplified World
B5	Midsummer Lullaby

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The Astronauts - “Pranksters in Revolt EP” & “The Astronauts EP” (Bugle records BLAST 5 /BLAST 1) 1979/1980

The Astronauts first two ep's.

The eponymous debut is their standard sound,post-punk with a folk flavour. Featuring studio versions of the sounds heard on the live compilation “Back to sing for Free again soon”. The classic 'All night Party” being the stand out track here.

“Prankstersin revolt” is a different beast altogether. A minimal folk-synth classic to rival Patrik Fitzgeralds' brilliant “Gifts andTelegrams” (which i'll post next because its sooooo good!).

I don't know whether the group were being deliberately obtuse here, but to turn from the expected sound is something to be applauded. Like it says in the second track on this fine EP, “Moderation is Boring”, especially when applied to music; though not when applied to narcotics and other stimulants. In fact for those secret state sanctioned/supplied population control weapons, TOTAL abstinence is the ideal goal. Being strung out in a dope cloud stupor is definitely fucking boring; like one of those anarcho-punk festivals. A real danger to society are drugged up and drunk white rasta's falling over in a ditch in the countryside. They Talked the Talk, but couldn't even walk, never-mind 'Walk the walk'!*

*This doesn't apply to the Astronauts by the way.

DOWNLOAD these revolting eponymous pranksters HERE!

The Astronauts - "Only Fools And Optimists" ( Anarres - ASC 001) 1982

The Astronauts were another group from the melodic 'Folk'-tinged end of the anarcho-punk spectrum. As, in my opinion, Punk Rock is Folk music, this is something quite natural.

Long naturally curly haired Mark Astronaut, had the standard anarcho-office clerk kind of voice that was so popular with most of these awful groups; but the Astronauts stood apart. They had good socially aware and insightful lyrics, some interesting songs,and didn't dress in washed out black with 'i'm in the Anarchy Club' badges splashed everywhere like medals.This stuff is genuine Folk music,not affected by fashion and hive-like behaviour.

Don't let the Folk/Punk label put you off, this ain't the Levellers or ,if possible, worse. Think more in line with a more lightweight Zounds;and if you haven't heard Zounds,they're quite trad melodic post-punk punk with a folk-flavour to the lyrics.......in fact like The Astronauts, but a bit punkier!?

Here's what it says on The Astronauts website:

“This cassette is a rare treat indeed. Side 1 has the added bonus of having two tracks featuring the superb soprano saxophone playing of Lol Coxhill. This side consists of 6 songs recorded in a 16-track studio by various combinations of The Astronauts. They are all professional quality recordings intended for future release on vinyl. Side 2 is a bonus for those of us who have followed Mark's work over the years. It also contains 6 songs, 5 of which were recorded in the more informal surroundings of the various Astronauts domiciles. Obviously, the recording quality on this material is not of the same high standard as Side 1, but nonetheless the songs themselves are of enormous quality* and interest* and we felt we could not pass up the opportunity to release these rare tapes."

*even though they say so themselves!?

The songs on side 1 went on to become side 1 of 2nd album proper,"It's All Done By Mirrors".

Track listing:

A1 New Dixieland Blues 4:58

A2 Seagull Mania 3:06

A3 Blood 2:42

A4 Gold at the Top 5:17

A5 Behave Yourself 3:35

A6 Typically English Day 2:57

B1 Sorry 4:50

B2 Political Stances 3:57

B3 Problems 2:37

B4 New Drummer Boy Blues 3:32

B5 Bodies in the Bath, Part 2 4:13

B6 Behave Yourself Dub 3:32

DOWNLOAD optimistically you fool HERE!

Various Artistes ‎– "Back To Sing For Free Again Soon" (Fuck Off Records – F.O. 001) 1979

Here we have, in a limited edition of 5 Million, catalogue number Fuck Off 1 (yes, the first Fuck Off Records release!); “Back Again To Sing For Free Again Soon.The fabled compilation from the beyond great Fuck Off records from UK DIY's year zero.Now re-edited and remastered in 320kbps.

Side one (Slightly Sanesville), kicks off with a 21^st century Glastonbury act  from 1979? It's the unbelievably

awful Dick Heley; who was an unwelcome manifestation of the kind of earnest young man with acoustic guitar that still plagues modern pop deep into the teenies of century 21! Its the kind of crap that makes one want to punch some fucker and beat them to death with one of Mumford and son's fucking banjo's! (Growl!)

It gets worse, because he seems to have three tracks rather than the two listed on the insert....Ouch!

It make it slightly better, three tracks from free festival stalwarts “The Astronauts” repair the damage somewhat with some lyrically aware nu folk with a punk rock slant. Never really my cup of tea,but after the first three tracks they almost sound like the first time I heard Joy Division.

Then, “Fuck Me!”, its that Dick Heley AGAIN!....this time backed up by the half-decent Prog of Blankspace, so its not so shit this time!

Moving swiftly on, this compilation really starts cooking with the proto-indie anti-pop classic from the Anal Surgeons, “Where's That Fag”; referring more to the personal servant tradition in English public schools* called a “Fag” rather than a cigarette or a Homosexual.(Although homosexual could apply to public schools also, as being arse raped is a rite of passage, or back passage, in these despicable factories for the Illuminatti; burn the fucking places down!....ps, its funny how the word illuminatti is never in any spell-check programme?).

The Dog Ends remind me of the more annoying moments from the Missing persons cassettes.They probably are missing persons....mentally I mean.

After the extra track not listed on the insert, of a sing-a-long version of “Jungle bells by persons unknown, we get an exclusive track from the fantastic “Vibing Up the Senile Man “ era Alternative TV. A brilliant audience losing, noise improvisation on piano, radio, guitar, and drum machine, called “Terrified of Dogs”. Its hard to describe how great ATV were in 1979,but this piece sums it all up very concisely indeed.

Side two (Crazytown), starts with the wilful stupidity of uber-dumb manc punk band, Wilful Damage. Famed for the singer being thrown offstage at the legendary Deeply Dale Free Festival 1978, by the king of “TeePee People”, who said that he would personally stop any of these “Punk” from playing. Mr Wilful Damage consequently broke his arm in the fall, but returned to finish the set. The crowd were suitably Impressed, and probably turned quite a few 'Hippies' over to the cause; probably including certain members of Here and Now,who, as we know, started Fuck Off records.

The band itself is classic thoughtless Punk mimicry,and the introductions between the tunes, in a moronic Lancastrian accent, are hilarious.

OMG, its Danny and theDressmakers!(giggle)

They turn me into a silly teenager again everytime I hear them!

DATD are worth a small essay describing how fucking perfect they are. I do have ambitions one day to create a Vinyl on Demand style Box Set containing all this wonderful groups major works.I may give that crowd-funding thing a go,is anyone interested in contributing a tenner?

Dream the dream!

To finish off, we are hit by the revelation that there were musicians in 1979! Seventh Angel's jazz-prog opus is superb,as is Blankspace's floyd style prog closer.

Is the ZeePee Silence Orchestra those TeePee chaps who attacked our mate from Wilful Damage? And were they called the ZeePee people after all??

Anyway, their track is, predictably, an Amon Duul 1 / Hawkwind hybrid,but nevertheless pretty entertaining.

Planet Gong......mmmmm.......I hate to say it,but I like their track rather too much!

I'll leave you with the parting words of Danny and the Dressmakers from the Deeply Dale Festival 1979:

“We were Planet Gon-g, goodbye!”

Tracklist:

A1	–Dick Heley	Void Burstin
A2	–Dick Heley	Photograph Of Feeling
A3	–Astronoughts, The	Secret File
A4	–Astronoughts, The	All Night Party
A5	–Astronoughts, The	Back To Sing For Free Again Soon
A6	–Dick Heley & Blankspace	Fantasy
A7	–Anal Surgeons	Wheres That Fag
A8	–Dog Ends, The	Aint No Free Unless Its Free
A9	–Alternative T.V.	Terrified Of Dogs
B1	–Wilful Damage	You Hang At Midnight
B2	–Wilful Damage	No-one Cares
B3	–Wilful Damage	Fictitious
B4	–Wilful Damage	Farewell To Innocence
B5	–Danny + The Dressmakers	Ernie Bishops Dead Body
B6	–Danny + The Dressmakers	How Hot Is A Match
B7	–Danny + The Dressmakers	John E. Begood
B8	–Danny + The Dressmakers	What The World Needs Now
B9	–Danny + The Dressmakers	Whole Lotta Pinball
B10	–Danny + The Dressmakers	Dont Make Another Bass Guitar Mr. Rickenbaker
B11	–Danny + The Dressmakers	Manchester United
B12	–Sell-Outs, The	Rock + Roll Concert
B13	–Seventh Angel	From A Sly Fox To A Pack Of Wolves
B14	–Amazing Zeepee Silent Orch.	No Kung Future
B15	–Planet Gong	Psychedelic Man
B16	–Blankspace	Take It Or Leave It / Nowhere

Be Back To Download For Free Again Soon HERE!