Showing posts with label Iron Curtain Funk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Iron Curtain Funk. Show all posts

Tuesday, 18 October 2022

Оризонт – "Оризонт(in Moldovan "Orizont")" (Melodia/Мелодия – С60-10691) 1978


 90% of all decent soviet music came from Estonia.The reason for this is geographical,just as it was for The Beatles.Access to the sea.In Estonia's case access to the right sea,namely The Baltic and the west,rather than being landlocked like Moldova.At best they could holiday on the Black Sea coast,which sadly meant being culturally locked in to the weird gypsyfied Eurasian way of doing things.That coupled with living in the wall-less prison of the former Soviet union,and missing out on the greatest renaissance of the arts since...well...er....the Renaissance.Leads us to explaining why this state sponsored slab of Moldavian library music Schlager Funk exists.
Indeed, we sophisticates of the west will laugh at the pure cheesy shitness of these records,but they do have a healthy vein of well recorded break-beats and ooodles of charm. One somehow feels sorry for them as victims of the distorted intellectual bollocks of Soviet Communism. Without some bespectacled political theorist reading Karl Marx's Das Kapital as reflected by a distorted funhouse mirror,This fucked up Funk would have never existed outside of the Eurovision song contest in the 1970's. 
The funniest part of all this is that the poor sod's left behind in mother Russia are gonna have to go through all this shit again thanks to the whims and insecurities of a Phil Collins lookalike with a marsh-mellow like complexion akin to the Pilsbury Dough Boy.The silly fuckers are gonna have to listen to Russian music again, and spend 50% of their state approved wages on a burger from "Tasty and that's IT!",the new national Burger joint.....sadly they've yet to come up with a Russified version of a McFlurry as of yet.
A sadly contemporary example of that silly Soviet trait of making dangerous and downright bad forgeries of western products,and then boasting that "we have Burgers too american pigdogs", just as they used to think that they had Funkier Music......even in Moldova?!

Tracklist:

1.Гайдуцкая Баллада6:46
2.Монолог3:44
3.У Мельницы3:22
4.Край Мой2:55
5.Калина3:01Ничего Не Оспорю4:44
6.Первое Танго2:48
7.Апрель3:37
8.Оризонт3:19

Saturday, 15 October 2022

Gaya – "Azerbaijan Vocal And Instrumental Ensemble" (Меlodia – 33 С60-06819-20)1976


Ukrainians, bless 'em, as much as they tried, did not have, what is commonly known as, 'The Funk', After witnessing centuries of, either,being targeted, witnessing,or gleefully taking part in, brutal atrocities on the Eurasian plate,their DNA is far too abstract and fucked up to embrace the joys of  dancing (unless its some lumpen folk dance). This explains why they and their Slavic cousins seem to have an overriding darkness as part of their shadowy aura's. 
I was once offered the chance to have my Aura painted by some new-age lady of questionable talents,but she gave up as i was, quote, 'Too Sceptical'.....er...yes?
These silly drawings normally comprise of splashes of abundantly happy colours,and basically everything's gonna be great. I imagine if she drew the aura of a Ukrainian,or a Russian, or anything serbo-croat for that matter,it would display a preponderance of monochrome drawn from the greyscale rainbow .
Now Azerbaijan doesn't have this genepool problem as, tectonically, it straddles the Asian and Eurasian plates. Although,they are mostly Turkish in origin,and therefore responsible for some very dodgy Genocides themselves,Armenians mainly...but at least they could dance eh?.
Yes they really are called Gaya!....a group name that could get you into serious trouble in modern Russia.
Any citizen found indulging in the undoubted delights of brown love,or doing carpet, would quickly be rewarded with one free flying lesson, without a plane, off the nearest tall building.
Gaya certainly had 'The Funk' ,but sprinkled with liberal quantities of grated cheese.....as the blatant lie "I'm Happy" seems to testify to,both in reality denial and funky naffness.
Another fun(?) song title for me is track 10,"I'll Find You",which is the catchphrase of the idiotic (David Ames) who wants to kill me for copyright infringements(?) on my copious Jandek posts in his self-appointed authority as The Corwood Rep's de facto minder.
FYI...i don't break copyright laws,all i do provide a link to the storage provider,(the massive Google)who is in fact the potentially culpable party,this has in fact been long established,and test cased during the Megaupload appeal.
However,copyright was not something that troubled any artist from the former USSR days,as they never got paid anyway,any profits were donated to the state,via the back pockets of of the local commissariat .But,alas,Yet another good source of breaks for your drum'n'bass project that no-one wants to hear. A crime that I have been responsible for in the not too distant past.
All we need now is a Moldavian Funk ensemble to add a cherry to a very unlikely cake.......you guessed it...it's up next!? 

Tracklist:

1 Doesn't It Seem To You...
2 There's No Prettier Blossom
3 I'm Happy
4 Charming Girl
5 Aman Yar
6 Spring Song
7 Always With Me
8 Thrushes
9 Quickly, Quickly
10 I'll Find You
11 Mexico

Friday, 14 October 2022

Vodograi - "Водограй" (Мелодия – 33 С60-09399-400) 1978


Its a shame that we are going to be deprived of the Russian entry in the next Eurovision Song Contest. Held in the lively Ukrainian town of...Liverpool(?) substituting Kiev, for obvious reasons? However we will have another fine Ukrainian entry to make us all wonder if we're on the wrong side in this increasingly pointless war....er...i mean, Special Military Operation. The horrible winning entry earlier this year, was from.....you guessed it....Ukraine! An awful amalgam of Eastern European sub-hip hop with clothes resembling a car crash between The Black Eyed Peas and Teletubbies' Fuzzy Felt chic...with added Rapping...or raping if you're a Russian 'soldier'.
It got the sympathy vote of course, and cost the UK their first Euro-win since all the former Soviet republics were admitted in 1991.
So to compensate here's another Soviet Ukrainian attempt at cold war entertainment from groovy commie combo ,Vodograi.
This type of break-beat laden cheesy listening got me through the nineties (hard times musically),allowing a humanitarian corridor through all that 'orrible house crap leading to many a chill-out oasis in the depressing clubs and repurposed discotheques of local clubland.
The singing may empty an already empty room of all it's sub-atomic particles, but these cheesy grooves could even get a legless Russian Special Military Operation veteran dancing till his stumps bleed. Spelling out "Thanks Mr Putin" in his blood while swaying Ironically to the heartfelt and jawdroppingly unironic ballad called "For The Motherland".Ahh, the unbridled joys of Nationalism.

Tracklist:

1 Запроси До Танцю = Invite Me To Dance
2 Незване Моє Кохання = My Unexpected Beloved
3 Дiвчина Мила = Darling Girl
4 Путешествие = Journey
5 Несла Дiвчина Воду = Once A Girl Was Carrying Water
6 Тебе Назло = Just To Spite You
8 Вишневый Рассвет = Cherry-red Daw
9 Воспоминание = Memory
10 Родине = For Motherland
11 Голубой Вагон (Музыкальная Шутка) = Blue Car (Musical Joke)


Thursday, 13 October 2022

Vizerunki Shlyakhiv - "Візерунки Шляхів" (Меlodia – С60-06699-700) 1976


Funky Vizerunki Shlyakhiv was a folky,funky,but very latin sounding, 'Ukrainian vocal-instrumental ensemble',as described in Soviet newspeak, from the lovely city of Kyiv,.....yeah that place we now know is pronounced 'Keev' rather than 'Key-Ev', since they kicked the butt of the Russian invading force/farce earlier this year.
Dunno if any of Vizerunki Shlyakhiv took out any tanks,but they seem to resemble a bunch of handy chaps with State approved Flares to match.I have no doubt that these swarthy Slavs know the right end of a Panzerfaust 3 and how to use it.
There's a Ukrainian Folk tilt given to some of these smoking workouts that would please the local communist commissar bastard,backed up with a song about local commie hero Shcors to ensure no-one got sent for re-education in a Siberian gulag anytime soon.
State Label Melodia has rarely been cooler....which isn't saying much.Unless its referring to temperature of course.

Tracklist:

1. Пісня Про Щорса / Song About Shchors
2. Камінь Сонця / The Sunny Stone
3. Я Люблю Твої Тихі Затоки / I Love Your Backwaters
4. Гуахіра / Guahira
5. Коло Млина Калина / A Guelder Rose Grows By The Mill
6. Марійка / Mariyka
7. Весна I Ти / You And Spring
8. Била Мене Мати / My Mother Beat Me