Saturday, 27 November 2021

Hardy Kukuk – "Atemnot" (Hardy Kukuk Self-released – 22758) 1981



Take the 'U's out of Hardy's family name, and you're left with 'KKK'......i'm sure that's just a coincidence, but this kind of searching for your own meaning in a seething cauldron of nonsense, finding faces on mars,and the refusal to accept that celebrities die of enything except murder,are a strictly human trait that will end in our own destruction.So if you have a conspiratorial mindset I recommend that you avoid such things for your own,and everyone else's, good.You have been warned.
Hardy,was also the electronic conspirator for Klaus Bloch of A La Ping Pong non-fame,and in return Klaus appears with guitar and space-echo on Hardy's solitary self-released album from 1981.
Tangerine Dream had been going for over a decade by the time Hardy put this note for note perfect rendition of every TD song ever recorded;but he managed to do it in the space of five tracks....then merged back into the wallpaper,which we all wished that Tangerine Dream would have done after "Phaedra"....
Nah, i didn't mean that, TD were great, at least up until "Tangram",which coincidentally was about the time Kukuk unleashed this respectful pastiche to fill that particular vacuum.
The synths are gorgeous,fulfilling all those analogue clichés that get bandied about, hither and yon, by silly sods like me...such as,warm,phat,....er warm.....and er.....phat!? Surfing the knob twiddling Sine wave in such satisfying ways.
These people made these records in the full knowledge that once the 1000 copies had been sold or given away that it would be forgotten,and the planet would move on...but no.....crate diggers find it,hail it as a new discovery of great magnitude,and it gets re-released.Then there's the inevitable come back,again for just one album,which will indeed be,justifiably this time, very  forgotten.You just can't recreate a time and place.The motivations are different,and the desperation factor creeps in along with the chains of experience(Mind forged manacles as William Blake so aptly put it) .The fearlessness,or innocence of youth cannot be salvaged like an old synthesizer. Once you're fucked you stay Fucked.

Tracklist:

A1 Takt Der Zeit 9:31
A2 Erdträumer 11:22
B1 Frühling '81 11:19
B2 So Mal 2:00
B3 .. .... So 3:41


Friday, 26 November 2021

A La Ping Pong – "Phase II - Go Go Pongs" (A La Ping Pong Self-released– 66.22784) 1981



A La Ping Pong did second album shocker!? (Get the first one here).
German sits on chair and noodles along, ambiently, with his guitar to a backing that now includes humans...yes, he has friends. He still sounds like that infamous law firm Oldfield,Fripp,and Oldfield ,but at least he had the good sense to pack all this self-released album malarkey in for a couple of decades.
Yes indeed, like the rest of the 'rediscovered' music wave at the turn of the millennium, even Klaus Bloch (Herr Ping Pong himself) was exhumed from a comfortable retirement to show us why olden days music is soooo much better that the derivative shit of today's WHY? generation.
To coin a phrase,Yesterdays derivative shit is far far better than today's derivative shit; I think you'll find that statement  stands up to scrutiny in laboratory conditions.
I've always liked a black and white album sleeve,and also strongly believe that every member of a band should be firmly seated,especially the bloody guitarist.Maybe Klaus couldn't stand up at all? I dunno, the only pictures I've seen of him has him seated.Normally surrounded by technology.
Please excuse me,but to increase the hit-rate for this article I have to add the tiresome noun "KRAUTROCK" to the recipe......it's very popular among those who would like to seem obscure but really aren't;but i must admit, A La Ping Pong is certainly obscure,but its qualifications to actually be called "KRAUTROCK" are somewhat tenuous apart from the fact that Klaus is certainly a German.Not that that changes anything.There are American groups who get called "KRAUTROCK"....dunno what's going on there,but at least i got to insert the keyword three times.
Google will be going mad for these pages.

Tracklist:

A1 Go 7:02
A2 Go Go Pongs 9:09
A3 Farbenspiel 4:09
B1 Hamburg - Ankara 6:02
B2 Hvalpsund Impressionen 6:29
B3 Klänge Wie Sand Am Meer 3:52222
B4 Strandgut 6:13


Thursday, 25 November 2021

A La Ping Pong – "Extrem Musik A La Ping Pong Phase I" (A La Ping Pong Self-Released – RP 1078) 1980



I could have sworn I was listening to Fripp and Eno,turns out it was another long lost "Krautrock" DIY meisterwerk by some hippy untermensch called Klaus Bloch, who manages to sound like Mike Oldfield, Robert Fripp, Mike Oldfield, Manuel Gottsching and Mike Oldfield jamming to some Eno rejected tape loops.
There's inverted comma's around the Krautrock accusation I foolishly made, for that unfortunate moniker doesn't apply to the Cluster side of all things Kosmische.The rock stuff belongs firmly with horrible nonsense like Amon Dull 2(sic), Ash Ra Tempel and Guru Guru ...read my ground-breaking in depth slagging of Krautrock , "Mommy What's a Krautrock?"HERE! ....ah, so now I don't have to repeat myself,so let us begin.
One aspect of the Anglo-rock scene that hippies in West Germany really wished they sounded like,apart from Soft Machine was Space Rock,namely Pink Floyd.It meant that you didn't have to learn to play your instrument,and with the help of a tape-echo you could bang out a self-financed LP of ambient space rock quicker than you could say Max Planck.The trouble with that was, that by 1980,the Floyd had moved on to doing dystopian musicals instead.So i guess there was still a market of disaffected 30 year olds still hankering' for "Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun" part...er..well ask Max Planck.
Good musick for your flotation tank,or for meditating to an Alan Watts lecture for some much needed back-up.I'm always a sucker for a black and white album cover.
BOLLOCKS!....I can feel a DIY Kosmiche episode coming on.Must take my medication!.....fuck it,I love paying backhanded compliments to Germans,and mentioning the war;so be prepared for some weird German loners with boners and synthesizers,inserting their jack-plugs into analogue echo machines.


Tracklist:

A1.a Fanfaren
A1.b Waidmannsheil? 9:02
A2 Nordlaut I 8:45
A3 Edelweiß Für.... 2:57
B1 Nordlaut III 3:51
B2 Morgenstern-Abendstern 14:38
B3 Zartbitter 2:24

Sunday, 21 November 2021

Alan Watts – "This Is IT" (MEA – LP 1007) 1962


With an album cover that looks like its made with the included graphic design software on your brand new Windows 98 PC, Alan shows us all how to empty rooms as well emptying the after-life with some truly horrible,but hilarious primal screaming,ecstatic chanting, and general middle class tomfoolery that would send your soul banging their ghostly fists  and screaming to be let in at the gates of Hell.Only to be informed that they were already there,and were victims of all that christian,Islamic,Jewish and Buddhist propaganda.The punchline being that the former underworld of eternal punishment was in fact the best place to be post-mortem.In other words This was NOT....IT!
Listening to the opening 'spontaneous musical happening', as Alan calls it, was indeed an experience of great joy on my part.So much so that i simply had to play it again.Hearing university drop outs, expunge all that middle class Caucasian guilt by speaking,or in this case shouting, in tongues to a tabla backbeat, is enough to make one trot along joyously to the nearest new age happening at the local community centre.As well as screaming like a lobotomized buffoon,you can keep one eye open watching your fellow inductees gurning and idiot dancing to a CD of indian percussion.Stifling the wrong kind of laughter.....that is unless they're watching you with one knowing eye open too of course.Which is better,because then you can go down the pub together afterwards and have another laugh.See you next week John?...er...yeah?
No spring chicken in the sixties,Alan Watts (RIP) sported a distinguished Guru look,that proved very successful with the ladies...so I am Told....but not surprised.This blog is full of tiresomely similar stories. I may start a cult....it's an earner,no work involved, and you get laid.....,no strings! What's not to like....oh yeah, the fucking awful music!


I have a trustafarian Belgian friend, who was the victim of some pretty horrific sexual abuse as a child,and he has tried everything new age that has been invented, or will be invented.He's done Ecstatic Dancing, Primal Scream,re-birthing, and south american 'shrooms;his favourite being the very popular fuck-up magnet,the 'Ayahuasca' experience. Suffice to say that all this has helped the flashbacks not one iota ,yet neither has conventional Psychiatry either,so the logical conclusion is to do neither but use the time honoured, and very unfashionable, male method of 'Not Talking About It'. Build a compartment in your mind ,put all the fucking rubbish in there and throw away the triggers.
So my answer to your mental torture is simply to compartmentalize,while playing idiotic proto-hippie nonsense like anything by Alan Watts,and cheer up for fuck's sake! You only live once....and its very short.
There was a box set called "The Essential Alan Watts",released after his migration to eternal paradise in 1973.
I think the word 'Essential' is some-watt un-essential in this context?
The other best track on here is "The End" by the way.

THE END.

Tracklist:

A1 Love You 3:15
A2 Onion Chant 4:40
A3 Gagaku-Ku 0:50
A4 Fingernail Poem 2:20
A5 Umdagumsubudu 7:40
B1 Metamatic Ritual 14:00
B2 The End 6:00


Thursday, 18 November 2021

Bobb Trimble's Flying Spiders – "The Flying Spiders In Brooklyn" (Burger Records – BRGR446) 2013





 
One of the major pastimes of Generation Y ('Y' as in what's the point?) is digging up the corpses of lost record collector legends and forcing them back on the stage. This usually involves bands with only one member, either left alive, or desperate enough to recreate that album some grate digger unearthed in 2003. Of course there are endless numbers of thirty somethings who would sell their granny to appear on a new Homosexuals LP,or Tour with the last remaining member of the Androids Of Mu*.Famously, This Heat became 'This Is Not This Heat' of course.Fattened up by at least six This Heat fans, to bolster the remaining duo. Ok,Okaaay! I'm only jealous, I would certainly sell my granny's ashes to play Bass and Tapes in 'This Is Not This Heat'.My lauded judgementalism and bitterness only stretches so far.
The advantage of going to witness a reanimated solo artist is that you are certain to actually have 100% of the person in question on stage,unless he's lost a leg John Martyn style,or you accidentally stumbled into a tribute concert,which I wouldn't advise anyone to do.
I did go and see Bjorn Again once, and ended up in an argument with my possessive girl friend for looking at another girl's arse!!!...and i fucking hate ABBA!
Recorded on the fourth anniversary of the King Of pop and nonce, Wacko Jacko,Farrah Fawcett's, and,more importantly Sky Saxon late of The Seeds and Ya Ho Wha 13's collective deaths back on june 25th 2009! Fast forward to 25th June 2013 ,this live tape remains relatively faithful to the original tunes, except that the spoken intro's between the songs seem to suggest that Bobb has had some dental problems in his wilderness years.Expectorating outsider saliva over the front two rows of his adoring audience,and slurring his way through these outsider psych classics like a snow plow in a swimming pool of snot.
Jacko ,at least,is mentioned before the band launch into Galilaen Boy.Something Michael would have liked to have done when he was alive; in fact he would have liked to launch into any boy,especially anything involving a biblical reference as he saw himself in a,somewhat, messianic light.He had a squeaky voice like Bobb did too!? So let's listen to Bobb ,call a toast and raise a glass of Jesus Juice to to the very bad memory of the creepy king of alco-pop himself,and another to his numerous victims, both oral and aural.
Let's end with a joke?
Q."What's white and crawls down a toilet wall?"
A."Michael Jackson's latest release"
The author would like to explain that this joke was written before the untimely death of the pedophile formerly known as Wacko Jacko;but after the epoch of the politically correct free thought cosh wielding Brain police began.

*I can't confirm that the Androids Of Mu are actually 75% dead(or is it 80%?).I was struggling to think of a band who are mostly dead is all.I know The Ramones are 95% Dead,but they've never been rediscovered....and I had to include Marky or he'd find me,fists flying and still dressing up as a professional Ramone..(Richie Ramone allegedly is the proud owner of a Die Or DIY? T-shirt i am informed!?)..but a band with only one living member...difficult,unless it's something like a Gerry-less Pacemakers or even worse!!!
Fairport convention have Zero original members left in the band,but the absences are spread equally between resignation and death...Doctor Feelgood still tour without any original members even though 75% of them are still alive...just......anymore suggestions?


Tracklist:

1 Glass Menagerie Fantasies
2 When The Raven Calls
3 Armour Of The Shroud
4 Angel Eyes
5 The Camel Song
6 Galilean Boy
7 Take Me Home Vienna
8 Undercovers Man
9 Oh Baby
10 Another Lonely Angel

Wednesday, 17 November 2021

Bobb Trimble – "Harvest Of Dreams" (Self-Released LP) 1982


There aren't enough candid Jandekian monochrome photo's as album covers going around I say!? I feel the same about Monoaural sound too,but unfortunately Bobb didn't go for that on this one.
This file isn't the original album,as I don't got a spare three and a half grand hanging around that I dunno what to do with,so the CD re-issue is just fine by me.The three grand i'll just spend on medium level prostitutes,drugs, and a reconditioned Austin Allegro van den plas....in metallic orange.......i'll just waste the rest.
OOOh LA LAAAAA! It's that magnificent triumph of British Leyland cutting edge design and engineering.The beast that is thee Austin Allegro,Van Den Plas....You know you want one?


The reissue even has a hi-quality colorized version of the album photo, which reveals, that Bobb looks disturbingly like UK kids TV presenter,and the criminal responsible for the gay romp that hit the charts in the early nineties "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini"....none other than Timmy Mallet.(Who??? Says the non-British part of the globe)
I can forgive Bobb,with three 'B's, if he really was Timmy Mallet,as he released at least two excellent outsider Psych albums that paid little or scant attention to whatever the fashionable Hoi-polloi of the time was listening to....mainly Duran Duran and the Thompson Twins for want of better examples.
One characteristic, other than looks, that Bobb shared(shares...is he still alive?) with Timmy Mallet,was an enviable talent to not give a fuck about what anyone thought about him or his music,or even his girly voice.This wipes the floor with the shitty arse end of most identikit american sixties hippie folk.There's enough backwards tapes and flanging to please any acid casualty,and behold, a silent track to freak them out if they're on anything vaguely lysergic in nature.
 
Tracklist:

Dimension One - Trust

1 Premonitions – The Fantasy 6:03
2 If Words Were All I Had 4:26
3 The World I Left Behind 2:25
4 Armour Of The Shroud
 7:39
5 Premonitions Boy – The Reality 6:21

Dimension Two - Harmony

6 Take Me Home Vienna 4:18
7 Selling Me Short While Stringing Me Long 4:15
8 Oh Baby 1:19
9 Paralyzed 6:16
10 Another Lonely Angel 5:08


BONUS Tracks:

11 Waves Of Confusion In Puzzled Times (Demo Version) 5:11
12 Galilean Boy (Demo Version) 3:07
13 Life Is Like A Circle (Demo Version) 4:44




Sunday, 14 November 2021

Bobb Trimble With The Violent Reactions – "Iron Curtain Innocence" (Vengeance Records – BT 8458) 1980


There are always some people.....if people is the word,...who could miss a bus even if they were camped down at a bus stop all day. Bob seems to have missed several waves before he finally got his self-financed album of psychedelic folk strangeness pressed up. What he intended to do with 500 copies of Neo-Psychedelic Folk in the post-punk hinterland of the pre-hardcore USA I dunno? Maybe pile them up to make a handy coffee table perhaps? Coasters for dinner parties? Who knows?
The album title and  bizarre cover shot would do little to appeal to any surviving long-haired friends of Jesus who should happen along with $3.99 in change to spend.
But, give it time, like a fine wine, music evolves with its future audience. Twenty years later, a world sick of music made by machines,fueled by noble quests to uncover the strangest of forgotten musics, made by the malfunctioning biological machines that was once called 'Mankind',to which one must now add a gender pronoun to it's name badge,and 'IT' is an adequate and reverential  pronoun to use for "Iron Curtain Innocence". 
Usually, those outsiders who plough a lonely furrow of ridicule and dismissal, make music, that is by all modern standards,uncomfortably beyond categorization,but exudes an undeniable charm that seems beamed from a rogue exo-planet roaming in interstellar space. pure but utter shite to the untrained ear,yet is undeniably funny,and unique.....but.....Bobb,with three 'B's',has made an undiscovered classic piece of psychedelic Folk that meets the modern standards of underground weirdness that today's normal people require. Ahead of his time, or thirty years too late,either one applies.

Tracklist:

This Side: Bobb Trimble With The Violent Reactions 1980

A1 Glass Menagerie Fantasies 5:48
A2 Night At The Asylum 4:50
A3 When The Raven Calls 6:25
A4 Your Little Pawn 3:50

That Side: Bobb Trimble Soliloquize 1978

B1 One Mile From Heaven (Short Version) 4:07
B2 Killed By The Hands Of An Unknown Rock Starr 5:29
B3 Through My Eyes (Hopeless As Hell D.O.A.) 4:57
B4 One Mile From Heaven (Long Version) 5:42


Saturday, 13 November 2021

Jandek – "Porto Saturday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0852) 2021


The second most famous ginger whinger after Elvis "The Pelvis" Presley.....(he dyed his hair black if you didn't know).....could be, and I did say 'Could Be',Die or DIY?'s favourite copper-top,Sterling "Jandek" Smith. Clearly,sporting a rather dapper chemically enhanced hair-do, he was around when Elvis was in full throttle Ginger denial as a pre-pubescent with, seemingly ,very proud parents? The cover photo looks like it was taken in a photographic studio to place on the mantelpiece of the Smith family abode.Evidence, maybe, that Jandek was born,and didn't arrive from outer-space like a gone wrong version of the ginger alien from "The Man That fell To Earth".
Those proud parents obviously didn't provide piano lessons for their pasty faced progeny and the evidence is on this compact disc of Jandek tinkling about on a grand piano for just shy of two hours....HELP!
This is the reason why the era of "the Public Piano" is coming swiftly to an end in railway stations across the globe; probably under sentence of death in places like Saudi Arabia. Or you could try playing a piano in public in Taliban-era Afghanistan, to invent the much needed phenomena of the 'Suicide Pianist'...the fight back starts here!
Keith Jarret this is NOT.It's improvisation by someone who thinks improvisation is just moving your fingers at different speeds in random places,Keith Jandek?.....although if that was the actual concept then I take everything I just typed back....but I severely doubt it.
I can't listen to this,and that's saying something.I would even leave a Pub if some smart-arse put this on the imaginary jukebox. Although, if that Jukebox existed, I WANT ONE!
This is the Paradox that Jandek is.He is obviously pure unlovable Shite,but is it not that quality that makes him great? Most clueless bastards would have given up after album number one and a half, like The Shaggs nobly did.However, with shear bloody-minded insistence,he penetrates the psyche of some of those poor fools who dare to tread that unholy back passage more than just once.
I listen to Jandek infinitely more than Keith Jarrett's po-faced solo piano neo jazz-classical intellectual panderings.I don't even leave The Koln Concerts out when my groovy artist chums pop round of an evening....mainly because they never 'pop' round is the reason for that particular advantage of the friendless.They just stay at home listening to the Koln Concerts every evening;just in case someone 'pops' round.Also, I have Zero Jandek Vinyl to display,which is a rather inexcusable and tragic oversight by 21st century Corwood Industries. I certainly don't want any of those awful scratchy plastic CD cases anywhere near me thanks, not even a mint copy of "Porto Saturday" by Keith Jandek.....in any format.

Tracklist:

1-1 The Garden And The Monastery 42:41
2-1 The Grey City And The Museum 50:27


Tuesday, 9 November 2021

Armand Schaubroeck Steals – "Ratfucker" (Mirror Records Inc. – Mirror 7) 1978



 Tee-Hee-Hee.....This one seems to be popular. It's got lot's of sweary cuss words on it....well,I say lots,it's actually mainly just one sweary cuss word repeated a lot as a pronoun or verb.Gee, this guy must be one of those "Punk Rockers with their spitting and their habits;what they don't realize is that i only wanted to be looooved!" (Jah Wobble, Fodderstompf 1978)
Armand only wanted to be loved,ie Noticed.So I think he's now convinced himself that he invented Punk Rock.
How do you become a Punk Rocker man when you're over Thirty? Simply, add lots of profanity to your rubbish tunes,and get an album cover that looks like Lou Reed's "Transformer" artwork.To up his Proto-Punk credentials, he does a very good Lou Reed in talky mode impression for the title track, plus extra sweary cuss words....I'm frightened.
Armand, did however, miss a vocation here,as he continues that off-Broadway musical feel that permeates all of his work.This could have been the follow up to the Rocky Horror Show, minus the catchy bits.
Someone mentioned that classic Stan Laurel line from "Brats" in the comments section,which can certainly be applied to crazy man Armand..."You can take a horse to water but a pencil must be lead".
You can surround yourself with all the instruments on the planet,but that doesn't mean you know how to use them.
There must have been a delivery of a few Syndrums to "The House Of Guitars",as they make a brief appearance on Disco setting on a couple of the tracks,even before Joy Division used one!?
On the cover it states that 'This album is dedicated to the late Peter Laughner,self-destructive founder member of Pere Ubu and offshoots.Like a little brother,Armand was obviously impressed by Laughner's incredibly dumb lifestyle. Peter lived the R'n'R myth to the maximum and made the ultimate sacrifice and died for his own sins,definitely not mine!Rock'n'Roll Jesus's should not be allowed to roll away the rock once they have been entombed.
Armand, like countless millions of others,was trapped in the romance,or pretense of the Rock'n'Roll myth.The mystique of self-disintegration, hollowness and dishonesty, coming forth from this incoherent rage at the so-called establishment. And this self-disintegration, in most cases is also a hoax, since most of these people, like Marilyn Manson or Smashing Pumpkins(I don't know any modern Rock groups to use as examples), are well organized hustlers,like our Armand here. It’s very rare that someone like GG Allin, John Beverly and Nancy(they could have been a puppet act with a neme like that?), or,cough, the Cobain, lives out the myth by actually destroying themselves. You do have the occasional suicide or overdose, but what is more normal is for them to become enormously wealthy, like Eminem! It’s the youth rebellion industry. This mystique of bottomless emptiness is clearly not real. I mean someone who actually was all those things would just melt in their tracks if they were infinitely hollow, alienated. It's as if they want to keep falling through the rotten floors of illusion forever (I paraphrased ex-VU person Henry Flynt for this truth by the way,if you didn't notice?)......there are far worse cases than Schaubroeck of course, he's just playing at it, but he's certainly a Hustler, who really just wanted to be looooooved!....and sell you a guitar.....maybe even a Syndrum?

Tracklist:

A1 Ratfucker 3:47
A2 Gigolo, Gigolo 3:14
A3 I Love Me, More Than You 2:24
A4 Buried Alive 1:42
A5 The Independent Hitter 5:05
B1 Preteen Mama 3:12
B2 The Queen Hitter 11:40

Sunday, 7 November 2021

Armand Schaubroeck Steals – "A Lot Of People Would Like To See Armand Schaubroeck ... DEAD!" (Mirror Records Inc.) 1972



My father, may their lord rest his soul, could turn every subject or eventuality,no matter how mundane, back on to his favorite item of interest.....World War Two. His whole life was stuck in a short few years in his late teens and early twenties. You name it you could twist it,.....Bay Leaves? Didn't have any of those in the prison camp,we used cats ears as a substitute for the cat stew. No salt for seasoning there,we had salt substitute as provided in our Red Cross parcels.....he could go on forever.Don't mention the War!
I suspect that Armand was the same about his thieving and prison years.
Don't mention Prison whatever you do!
Yeah, we get it, he's been to prison,but is there any need to make a triple album semi-autobiographical Rock opera about it.
Cathartic yes,necessary,most indeed NOT!
This is tailor made for an Off-Broadway musical.
Musically it's Very Mothers Of Invention speech sections meets Lou Reed in a bad musical.
It does however have its amusing parts,and it certainly puts one off from going to jail.Good Cover too.
I would nonetheless, love to play the role of one of the Black convicts as featured on Disc 2.I'd do it better too!
"Sheeeet honky am gonna kick your juicy white aaaaassssss baby."
I suggest that Armand wasn't as brave as the Honky character sounds on the album;but that's artistic licence I suppose?
Apparently you can still purchase sealed copies of the original pressings from Armand's music shop,very Off Broadway in Rochester- New York - "House Of Guitars."


Tracklist:

A1 Scene 1 Armand (17 Yrs. Old) Confesses His Crimes To A Priest "King Of The Streets"
A2 Scene 2 Armand & Dan Go Down To "Rock A Bowl" To Steal Dimes From Bowling Ball Polischers (50's Live Band Plays In Middle) "I Don't Care"
A3 Scene 3 Out On Bail, Armand Is Alone With Suzie (Night Before Sentencing) "Love For The Last Time"
B1 Scene 4 Elmira Bound
B2 Scene 5 Mr. Tomato, The State Public Relations Director Addresses New Inmates
B3 Scene 6 Dr. Leiderman, State Psychologist, Interviews New Jacks Privately To Determine When They Will See The Parole Board And To What Institution The Inmates Will Be Sent "Games"
B4 Scene 7 Why Do Children Steal? (Armand And Dan's Background)
C1 Scene 8 Christmas Eve In Elmira "Cut My Friend Down"
C2 Scene 9 Dr. Leiderman Interviews Howard Q. Sappy Who Was Sent Up For Attempt Of Suicide "Streetwalker"
C3 Scene 10 A Inmate Reminds Armand Of His Girl "The Young Boy"
D1 Scene 11 A Black And White Are Aguing Over A Comic Book Because Each Wants To Look At All The Colors "I Wish To See Color"
D2 Scene 12 Mental Breakdown In Solitary Confinement "Fading Out"
D3 Scene 13 "We, Like Lost Sheep Are Drifting"
E1 Scene 14 New Young Inmate Meets Lifer
E2 Scene 15 Stage Break (Taped Live) "God Damn You"
E3 Scene 16 Friday Night Radio Plays Old Tune Reminding The Population Of The Streets "Sweet Sister Suzie"
E4 "Turn Off The Sound"
E5 Scene 17 Visiting Day
F1 Scene 18 Night Before Parole Board
F2 "One More Day, One More Night"
F3 Scene 19 Parole Board
F4 Scene 20 Hack Talks To Arm On The Way Out "Ex-Con"
F5 Scene 21 Dan & Armand Meet On The Streets While Going To See Parole Officer
F6 Scene 22 "Warden's Circus"



Thursday, 4 November 2021

David Welsh – "Blue Lightning Accent" (Blue Ash Records – BAR 1850) 1980


This is so outside that I can't find sweet F all about this record on the Information super highway.It sounds not unlike a vinyl record with the center hole punched 2 degrees off kilter,which I think Boyd Rice did on Pagan Musick if I am not mistaken? The off kilter nature of these bizarre structureless tunes however, is nothing to do with mispressed plastic,but a lot to do with either recreational drug use, or prescribed drug use for a severe mental disorder.
Beefheart's Magic Band faced months of poverty and physical abuse to get music like this together,it's just missing Van Vliet's Howlin' Wolf impression;and its certainly much better than any of the Captains post-Decals releases. David Welsh's sleepy singin style, like a tone deaf Robery Wyatt on mogadon, adds a certain splash of vulnerability to proceedings.
The eccentric song structures,drifting Syd Barratt time signatures,with the Madcap Laughs drumming,desperately trying to follow Davids meandering Guitar,is purely unintended.Welsh undoubtedly thinks this album is groundbreaking,and should naturally be number one.He would be correct, but for different reasons than he would think.
In a world where everyone thinks and dresses as if they are a Rock Star, some people should just never pick up a musical instrument....that's right,shit like The 1975, those fucking Vamps, Blink 182...it's as if music was never invented those twats are....but there aren't enough David Welsh's around; lost in the flood of wannabees who think they're David fucking Bowie...the man himself was awful enough without a trail of tattooed and pierced zombie popsters wearing someone else's tattoo's and piercings causes one to wish that the Taliban would come to our rescue and ban music.....Forever! .As Outsiders go,Jandek's broken through to a certain extent on the art luvvie scene, but anything other than a strict 4/4 beat still has the power to start a riot,rather than add to the smooth unchallenging paste that modern muzak has become.

Tracklist:

A1 6's, 9's, Tens & Towers
A2 The Climb Into Heaven
A3 Rock Drummer
A4 Water Fall
B1 Blue Lightning Accent
B2 The Time Is On
B3 Cross Angle
B4 Blue Morning
B5 Keeping Pace

Tuesday, 2 November 2021

Blah! Blah! Blah! repost for Cop Out 26 - A rant (2021)


Oh Brilliant! It's Cop 26.....We're Saved!!!! What a relief.
So to celebrate our saviors, the very same political fuckwits that helped us get into this fuck-up by promoting exponential economic growth as a really good Idea.......But it's unsustainable said the wise old man, as he was laughed out of the room and soundly beaten by an army of Rednecks chanting "U.S.A" off their tits on ice-cold intravenous Budweiser piped direct from the CIA's very own brewery.
So to give three cheers for our admirable leaders,well the ones who turned up, here's a re-post of an album by Brit-bedroon electro-pioneers Blah Blah Blah.....a phrase hi-jacked by Greta Thunberg to predict the content of this COP 26 last chance saloon attempt at saving our lovely life preserving eco-system......COP-OUT 26 as I prefer to call it.
But as Greta knows, we fully deserve what's coming to us all,so get used to more Blah Blah Blah,and soon it will become Blah Blah urggh!

So,before the Rant begins,heres some irrelevant blurb about today's free,almost totally 'green' record for you to download, without adding any gasses to the ionosphere,unless you're farting like a milk cow?......green-oneupmanship time....tell us what you're doing to help.You can start by Stopping buying records, unless they're second hand;especially don't buy over-packaged over-priced over-rated mail-order music from carbon footprint criminals, like my best friend at Vinyl On Demand for a juicy example.......i can hear him now,moaning,but that's theft,money for the artists...Blah Blah Blah......fuck off.
Console yourself by recycling old vinyl instead of the trendy new 180 gram pressings,or getting endless digital copy's from the good guy side of the Green wall,here in nuclear powered France. Yes Die Or DIY? are green.....but no-bodies perfect,i eat the odd bacon sandwich,drink milk in my cups of tea,fart,and drive a diesel car!
Like everyone else I need to be made to do stuff.But I'm trying at least?
So about this record...briefly:

"Blah Blah Blah, the genius's that created the “In The Army”(mp3) single on Absurd records. Even the B-side was rather marvellous, the Imperious “Why Diddle?”. If only they had an album of this earth moving greatness?......well they did.....an eponymously titled collection from 1981.....but, nothing earth moving about this collection of farting about in the bedroom nonsense. Maybe bowel moving is more appropriate for this rather annoyingly unfunny mess."

That's what I wrote originally (Here!)...and it seems to fit in with the general consensus in regard to COP OUT 26 or wot?
If you like the first Blah Blah Blah LP, then there was a second, belive it or not...which you can get HERE!...which is also called, rather confusingly, "Blah Blah Blah".

And Now......

THE RANT :

Yes Friends.....we're all basically related, so can i call you family?.....No?...that's fine with me. As long as I'm the last man alive on the last square foot of fertile soil on a scorched planet,with a mini-bar full of strong continental lager and Gin, then you can all go fuck yerselves.As long as I live one nano-second longer than you I'll die happily.
Then the UPS robo-delivery van finally delivers my Electric Car....How Ironic?
Crowds of Robots and AI units gather at my graveside to celebrate Victory; The UPS Robot has saved some human piss to release on the small patch of hot soil where my corpse starts to decay.The last biological human.
Spare parts are harvested for study, to be replicated without the vulnerable fleshy parts,or the illogical brain.All hail the Cyborg, our inevitable future!Evolution has ruled that Emotions are in fact weakness after all.

Burning down the house to keep ourselves warm seemed like a good idea didn't it? Burning the planet,which, to our knowledge is the only one like it in the known universe, to keep ourselves overweight,and fully stocked with cheapo Chinese made crap,is an even better Idea?
India and China have promised,with fingers crossed behind their collective backs,to cut emissions to net Zero for just about the time that we're all dead.Killed by famine,smashed by tornado's,shot in riots as order breaks down,or incinerated by wild fires.Expecting the so-called 'Developed' countries to shoulder the burden and the guilt.Remember,these are two countries with Space Programs,and one of them is the second largest economy in the world!?
Those same two countries are responsible for providing our vastly over-crowded galactic oasis with a couple of billion of potential consumers,and that it is official governmental policy to raise their standard of living to that of the USA. Two Billion extra Fridges,TV's, petrol powered Cars, and ten coal fired power stations a week to power it all.
There's 'too many fucking Humans' to quote the insightful poetry of US noise rockers No Trend.
To give the Chinese some credit,they are at least working on reducing the population by committing Genocide against the Uyghur's and other Muslim types.
The sad fact is that even a massive war wouldn't reduce the population enough. 50 million copped it (see what i did?) in world war two,which was almost as if no-one had died at all.Nuclear annihilation wouldn't help either,as the Nuclear winter would destroy the the so-called winners. A lethal pandemic.....ie, NOT the current co-vid joke, is too difficult to manage,and would also lead to total annihilation....so we need a long term policy of sterilization.
Then we have the problem as to WHO we sterilize....normally it's the poor, 'cus there's more of those losers. I would enthusiastically start with anyone earning over 100,000 Dollars per annum,sequestrate their wealth to invest in green energy,like covering the Sahara desert with photo-voltaic cells,and building an enormous Nuclear power plant on the now deserted,and illegal town of Las Vegas.
Democracy is usually an immovable barrier to Green Policies, but as there are more poor than Rich, i think there's a fighting chance that the Proletariat would vote for the culling of the Rich in return for Solar and Nuclear powered Plasma screen Televisions.
Basically, the most effective way of cutting global emissions is the time honored crowd control tactic of extreme Poverty;which will also enable the populous to enthusiastically vote away their human rights.
Basically, no-one's gonna give up their Cars,Fridges,and Beefburgers ,unless they are made to.... at gunpoint.
Human beings are notorious masters at Short-Termism ,and nothing's gonna change by asking the mother fuckers politely to do anything that would benefit the generation that follows.Fuck them.
From what I've seen of the next generation, they are as full of shit as us Boomers are. Greta Thunberg is probably a CIA Hologram, 'cus the piles of coke bottles,MacDonalds salad cartons and worse, that are left behind as they are fucking each other,smoking weed behind the bicycle sheds is a sobering sight indeed.We need a new mind control super drug to make trendy,Son of 'E'.....but this time for inhabitants of the Metaverse rather than idiot dancing to the marching beat in disused factorys near Hemel Hempsted.
Maybe the Metaverse can provide an illusion for us all that everything's alright,so we can live normally until even the Zukerburg succumbs to dreadful reality....but, then again, he would have already been executed as a very well-qualified rich person.
The culling is coming,backed up by extreme poverty,backed up by the Meta-illusion that all this desperate nonsense is working.Then we all die.
Who says Heaven isn't man-made?

See you all in the Metaverse.I feel safe already.

Monday, 1 November 2021

'Armand Schaubroeck Steals – "I Came To Visit; But Decided To Stay" (Mirror Records Inc. – III) 1974



In 1962, after a series of 32 burglaries that included groceries, hardware stores, schools and a church, seventeen year old Armand Schaubroeck was sentenced to three years in jail. He was charged with safecracking and thrown in the Elmira State Reformatory, a maximum security prison in New York. He would get out a year and a half later on parole but the impression would remain vivid in his mind.
...Apparently his imprisonment acted as a catalyst to the birth of his very unique and somewhat deranged rock 'n roll persona- he named his band Armand Schaubroeck Steals and all his music seemed to be a cathartic exorcise to the obsessions that haunted him.
After his release,He and his brothers founded a musical store that is today one of the most successful in New York,which not only provided him with a lucrative living,it allowed him to live out his assumed personality to the max.
Not only did he have relative monetary independence, he also had a whole place full of instruments for himself. He built a studio in the store's basement, created Mirror Records and recorded a handful of albums that were personal, obsessive, ironic,read as self-indulgent,
 and an attempt to be deliberately abusive to public ears.
But,......
Despite the promising cover,and his acquired Rock'n'Roll persona,it reveals that even a reformed safe-cracker needs something else other than money to make a half decent record.A personality is certainly not enough.
The music is that forgettable style of '1974 rock' that John Cale used to force on a public desperate for something wild and dangerous;but what they got was plodding session man rock as heard from above by a classically trained(there's that Phrase again!), composer,and we're told this is the real thing.Lou Reed,who i guess Armand would like to have been, also fits into this category,save one or two tunes.Unlike Cale,who would have loved to be a rocker instead of a neo-classical composer,Lou Reed was a rocker who wanted to be a neo-classical composer and taken very, VERY seriously...but even he got Mick Ronson in to help,and Mick was of course...."Classically Trained".
Armand wasn't clued up enough to hire an arranger, so he churned out a bunch of Lou reed/john Cale out-takes and acted the part of the crazed wild-man in his attempt to gain attention.Look at me Mom I'm Dancin'!
Before all you Velvets/Cale/Reed fans write in hailing this body of work rightly heralded genius,i concede that Cale's lyric are rather good,pity about the backing track,and Lou reed always gave a good interview around 1974. The fact that there was absolutely nothing else around back then probably explains their appeal....you had to be there i suppose,to appreciate it. I wasn't.
All this, we are told......Again....is 'Proto-Punk'.....yeah right.


Tracklist:

Part I:

A1 Father Michael Loves Sister Jennifer 4:20
A2 Baby, Can't Let You Burn 3:25
A3 Auld Lang Syne 3:26
A4 Cry Myself To Sleep 2:25

Part II:

B1 Intro To Bells 0:23
B2 Bells 9:11
B3 Michael Veni Ad Mé 1:08
B4 I Came To Visit; But Decided To Stay 3:23

Sunday, 31 October 2021

Pip Proud – "Adreneline & Richard" (International Polydor Production – LPHM-108) 1968


Resembling,as well as sounding like the mythical fourth Shagg. Proud Australian Philip Proud's debut album from the hippie era has very little to do with Adrenaline,even though it appears in the title; but has more in common with an anesthetic. Yeah, he can't sing,has a speech impediment,wears glasses like the bottom of a couple of beer glasses,can't play a guitar or write songs!?...not a good start for a wannabe hippie troubadour who seems to walk around in a bin-bag?.....but gimmie that anyday rather than the bore fest forced on us by any of those trendy 'singer-songwriters' from Laurel Canyon back in '68 (Judee Sill excepted by the way)......excuse me ,a bit of sick just came up into my mouth.
Whereas, Pip could have come from Stan Laurel Canyon, if it ever existed? For the hundreds, if not thousands of acoustic waving folk singer wannabees from the sixties and seventies who were just plain Awful!....not all of them were funny though,so this is why Pip stands out from the crowd of long-hair earnest strummers so much...he's fucking hilarious.Unintentionally so,but funny enough for us to still listen to this terrible dross to this day. His name will be name-dropped at hipster coffee shop get togethers,where they will stroke their beards in appreciation,....and that's just the women.He's played at Outsider Art appreciation evenings alongside the mighty Shaggs,Wesley Willis,The legendary Stardust Cowboy,and the other outsider legends that make our failed lives seem like a raging sucess. Yeah, we need these losers to make ourselves feel good, but it isn't your lost album we're playing is it? Your poetry doesn't get read out at Hipster beat soirée's does it? Oh No!...So who's the loser now eh?
Philip may no longer exist upon this mortal coil (RIP) to unveil his latest work,and he did continue making his idea of what music is well into the new millenium;but he lives on in the form of black plastic disc's,binary codes,and magnetic waves,which is a remarkable turn around for something that we all should acknowledge is patently complete rubbish as modern standards dictate......but, Fuck that shit and Fuck their modern standards.
It's funny too.
But not as funny as Mike Leigh's "Nuts In May",which includes Pip's female equivalent, Candice-Marie,who has an uncannily similar voice. 

Tracklist:

A1 Adreneline And Richard 2:25
A2 The Tennis Player 3:38
A3 There Was Melancholy 3:58
A4 Latin Version 2:12
A5 Into Elizabeth's Eyes (To Mother Whilst Dying) 4:32
A6 Sounds 3:40
B1 Purple Boy Gang 2:20
B2 De Da De Dum 2:34
B3 When Each Descends 2:18
B4 We Crossed The Atlantic 3:07
B5 The Old Servant 6:32
B6 Laughter And Laughter 2:21


Saturday, 30 October 2021

Pip Proud – "A Bird In The Engine" (International Polydor Production – LPHM-109) 1969


When the land mass of Australia broke away from Pangaea a billion years ago, the isolation led directly to the evolution of the marsupial . Then in the sixties,the cultural isolation directly led to the evolution of Pip Proud. A self-described singer-songwriter, poet, novelist and dramatist....when in fact he was shite at all of these vocations.....it's another way of saying I'm a lazy fucker and I ain't gonna work.No one can prove that a poet isn't working on his next 'poem',even when it looks like lying down. Not that this lisping tone deaf myopic missing Shaggs member was employable in any way.The fool who signed him to Polydor could not have even met Pip,or heard him in action until it was too late. To think that he could have been Australia's answer to Donovan,was a miscalculation of decca-esque proportions!? Whoever it was must have been sacked.Its the opposite to the prat who rejected the Beatles for Decca......having said that I would have done the same if i'd heard Love Me Do....but certainly signed Pip Proud,looking from a twenty first century perspective therein.
Pip's output, is often compared with Syd Barratt's solo work,of which Philip denied all knowledge;but this stuff makes Syd sound like more like Wagner rather than the acid casualty we know he was.Worse news for Pip is that Syd Obviously had a talent for songwriting,something no-one could say about Pip. 
Pip's song's are constructed along the same lines as The Shaggs first album,as if he had been locked away from any music in a cupboard for 18 years,then let out to make his impression of what music should like to someone who has never heard any.It's no coincidence that he even looks like the mythical fourth Shagg.There are no verses or chorus's as such,with the droning guitar chord sequences strummed in a barely conscious stream of hazy unconsciousness kind of way. His pronounced lisp is not only charming,but adds that seed of a doubt whether this is all just another of those 21st century fake band Jokes,recorded by a comedian taking the piss out of Sixties Folkies, and record collecting saddo's.....it's hilarious either way....especially if it turns out that pip Proud was actually Real!?
Something he does actually share with Syd Barratt, is his wavering time keeping,exacerbated by his glaring tone deafness.
Of course there are those who hail this work as the product of undiscovered genius,and take it deadly seriously.....Maybe I'm the idiot who got it wrong? I sincerely doubt it, but whatever is the truth of the matter, this record is fucking hilarious.

Pip does actually sound uncannily like Candice-Marie from BBC drama classic "Nuts In May" by Mike Leigh (1976)
Check out Candice's protest song(click the embedded video) that plays over the end credits. If you haven't seen it,you have never lived...you can right this dreadful wrong by watching the whole thing by clicking HERE!


Tracklist:

A1 Marie
A2 Hey Sue
A3 A Fraying Space
A4 She Says To Me
A5 She Dwindles Her Fingers
A6 A Bird In The Engine
B1 Eagle-Wise
B2 French Girls
B3 Vida
B4 There Is No Rest
B5 Nancy
B6 Lover, Lover


Thursday, 28 October 2021

Sound Ceremony – "Sound Ceremony" (Celestial Sound Production – RWG2) 1979


Like 100% of this end of the century post millennium madness crop of 'Outsider' musicians,also known as,rather less pretentiously, as Crap musicians;but also Increasingly, as Crap Musicians who now think they are newly discovered genius's.They mistakenly,as do a lot of Outsider fans also,think that this upsurge in interest means there is some artistic content within this wildly amusing rubbish. Those types who don't know the difference between Laughing WITH you,and Laughing AT you!
I mean just look at this guy! As it's his own self-release,probably on a self-release from the Funny Farm too,as in...He escaped;but he must have chosen these cover shots himself, thinking that he looks good? It's that fashionable 'I'm On Heavy Medication chic' again.The front cover shot is more in the realm of a lost, undiscovered third world psych album from the Muslim half of Kashmir in 1992 rather than a UK post-punk classic.
This, his second record (1st one here!) is that truly brain-damaged winner that we've all trawled through unsorted vinyl dumps to find.The record surely fits somewhere into the 'right place wrong time' category in the UK punk explosion of the day, but it also looks back to the mid-sixties rock that Ron cut his rotting teeth on and ahead to some sort of maniac future form of entertainment that perhaps had not been invented yet.....now it has,namely Outsider Rock/Punk. Ganderton's mildly "out of it" stream of consciousness lyrics show a clear lack of self-censorship or political correctness, but that's really one of the albums strongest assets. He has created this character for himself as a huge rock star and sex symbol, and who are we to deny his claims,apart from the fact that he is clearly neither? The band chugs along amiably as Ganderton covers such terrain as his beating heart (it's made of rock), his distaste for education (he'd prefer to teach a lesson in bed,he obviously wasn't getting any) and his electric brain (which happens to be insane). If you've never heard a singer do a count-off all the way up to seventeen, then now is your big chance! Features what is perhaps the greatest anti-cigarette song of all time,or wot? 
He comes across as a bit of a dysfunctional,but charming arsehole,if that's possible?.....on meds....Who says there's no place for drugs in music? 
When you have people like Wrong Ron and his unsound ceremony to do it for you,there certainly is.Learning from others mistakes is certainly safer than making them yourself.....unless you're really stupid,like most Pop car crashes are and were.
Ron is now the celebrity that he craved to be,and can be seen hanging around record shops in Vancouver waiting to be recognized, marker pen at the ready and a armful of his re-released work from 1978-81. He deserves to make a living,unlike most other Rock Stars.Hell! I even bought one!

Tracklist:

1 Rock Work
2 Virgins Do
3 School
4 Rock Heart
5 Sorry
6 Our Song
7 Dance
8 Bet On Life To Win
9 Tobacco Man
10 Electric Brain
11 Motor
12 Sound After Death
13 Invitation To The Bizarre

Wednesday, 27 October 2021

Ron Warren Ganderton / Sound Ceremony – "Guitar Star" (Celestial Sound Production – RWG 1001) 1978


Praised by private-press hunters, esoteric appreciators and “out of time” searchers alike.Canadian and legend in his own extended lunchtime,Ron Ganderton,and his output hold echoes of monotone  proto-punks such as Jonathan Richman and Lou Reed,but without the good looks(*?), or the charisma,...or even the questionable talent of those aforementioned fellow travelers....*check out that boatrace# girls!? 
Similarities to outsider cult acts such as the extremely nutty but clued up Armand Schaubroeck and the less nutty but completely clueless Kenneth Higney,are as inescapable as they are wrong.....Ron.
Ron was fortunate enough to have the Subway Sect's drummer Bob Ward, and later, Martin Chambers of the excellent Vacants,and the later,but lesser combo, The Pretenders; to back his Velvets out-take tunes and keep him in roughly four four time.....which is a talent very few outsider Rockers seem to embrace.Ah bless him, he's trying his best,but he's missed the wave again....several times by the look of him.
The usual tactics are involved in the new wave cred myth building stakes,as the punk before punk hands shoot up in the room, claiming that this record was made in 1974,so Ron Warren Ganderton must have invented Punk,right?...along with Death(the group), The Modern Lovers,Stooges, and many other proto-punk pretenders.The "I was a Mod before you was a Mod" syndrome. Ron was never a Mod,and he's obviously tried to jump on any bandwagon that was going before the wheels fall off; but Ron's Wheels fell off long ago by the sound of it,and he also fell off the noo wave bandwagon too.Especially when you hear his second, and truly dysfunctional outsider classic album,simply called, just, "Sound Ceremony".
Maybe Lou reed ripped him off and we've all got it so very wrong.....Ron?.....somehow I doubt it!
NB;

# Boatrace is cockney for Face
&
Get the even nuttier second album HERE!

Tracklist:

A1 Guitar Star
A2 Letter To Moma
A3 Concrete Rodeo
A4 Miss Vickey
A5 Come The Change
A6 Feelings
A7 Love
B1 Blues Miss Your Mind
B2 Fool
B3 Lonely Road
B4 Booze, Drugs And Sound
B5 The Lady And Me
B6 The Devil
B7 I'll Go To Hell For Your Love My Lady


Tuesday, 26 October 2021

Kenneth Higney – "Attic Demonstration" (Kebrutney Records – KBH 516) 1976


 
In these mixed up muddled up ol'days, every fucker thinks they are undiscovered genius's just waiting for that chance to unleash their greatness upon an unsuspecting public. The trouble with that assumption is that the public all think they are undiscovered genius's as well. Its like that Monty Python sketch where everyone is Superman,except for one special superman who,when needed, becomes  Bicycle Repair man,racing to the assistance of any unfortunate super hero with a flat tyre.
In Kenneth Higney's day,the world was full of Bicycle Repair Men when it came to music. It was impossible to be Emerson,Lake and Palmer,unless you had a million quid to splash on walls of modular moog's,stainless steel drum kits,and three articulated lorries to spoil the public with your undeniable skills.
Nowadays every fucker has a home studio,and has an album out,or is in a fucking band all playing shiny new instruments. 
Then,oh shit!, "the Great British Mistake", Punk Rock, broke and the DIY dream started. Great! We can all be pop stars now.What a fucking well-intentioned fuck up that turned out to be?
If I hear another harsh fucking noise project by wee willy and his hip granny i'm gonna burn my Beatles records...again! What's the point in making music at all if everyone's doing it.....(h)'elp!Come Back ELP, all is forgiven....the problem with that damn fine Idea is that only 'P' is still with us,having lost 'E' and 'L' to suicide and cancer some years hence.
In 1976 Ken,a true Rock Star's name if ever there wasn't one(?), self-released this LP in the hopes of garnering attention for his tenuous songwriting skills.Slightly Ironic because he obviously didn’t have any.He,and group, did,however, have the envious ability of naturally owning a very wobbly understanding of syncopation,harmony,and/or melody.Rhythm appears to be a foreign country for Ken and his chums it seems.
Yes,by accepted standards,old and new, this album is total crap,but, healthy crap floats to the surface of a cesspit that is the charmless modern machine played poop which trains the brains of our charmless children.Give us something less desperate, honest, with imperfect perfection like a diamond on a turd,or a sapphire strewn necklace around Adele's newly slim neck. 
In short,Stop fucking singing,put your ramones T-shirt in the trash, and go get an office job,or an HGV licence. That's the new Punk Rock, telling your hip black leather wearing tattooed Mom and Pop that you're gonna get a Job. That should fuck 'em up,the lazy climate destroying cunts that they are.

I discovered this short,stupid, but succinct review on Discogs:
 
"This is probably the shittiest record I have ever listened to, singing and songwriting are absolutely rubbish."

Er..yeah....but!?...Some people just don't get it do they?


Tracklist:

1 Night Rider 2:34
2 Children Of Sound 3:18
3 Rock Star 5:49
4 Can't Love That Woman 3:38
5 Look At The River 3:40
6 Quietly Leave Me 2:41
7 Let Us Pray 5:11
8 I'll Cry Tomorrow 3:16
9 No Heavy Trucking 2:18
10 Funky Kinky 5:35
11 I Wanna Be The King 3:04


Wednesday, 20 October 2021

Jandek – "Ann Arbor Saturday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0846) 2021


I've mentioned a much shared disapproval of the Fretless Bass as used and abused in the popular medium of music before. Even excluding Mick Karn's work with Japan and Dali's Car from the bracket of disapproval. Well, Mick, may their God rest his soul,is no longer alone in fretless bass limbo.For he is to be joined by none other than Sterling "Jandek" Smith,who wields said instrument like a harbinger of impending doom.Like the approaching helicopter blades as replaced by huge rotating crusaders broadsword's, slicing through the trees below radar in a densely foggy Vietnam,as if beheading Saracens.Piloted by drugged up Scientologists eager to deliver their cargo of Napalm on a school full of children whose parents didn't pass the eugenics test.This time they ain't playing 'March of the Valkyries:It's "Ready For the House" at full volume...which if used as a real weapon in the real Vietnam war, could have caused Ho-Chi Minh to throw himself out of the nearest window.Ushering in a much less pointless period of peace and love.Where Communism worked out just fine, and the Americans kept their fucking noses out of everyone's right to self-determination.
As the choppers,hip slang for not only Helicopters but also for the male member where I come from, slice their way through the solid air of this gloomy Jandekian rumble,we start hearing such complimentary incisions as an outsider Mile Davis,blowing his horn as if warning passing vessels of the rocky outcrops hiding beneath the black waters of these compact discs.What's more we are treated to a rare appearance of the Electric Harpsichord outside of the 1960's British television soundtrack.
Fear not, we do get the standard Jandek howl and moan, backed up quite ably by a young lady victim on back-up moaning.
Heavy stuff,thankfully lacking any pretentious aspirations towards the outsider classical chamber music that The Representative is often enamored with.
One things for sure, don't play this when you're feeling suicidal.You may use an ill advised method to stop that noise in your head.

This was recorded somewhere in Ann Arbor May 17th 2008...isn't that where that Who copyist Glam band The Stooges came from? I think they reformed round about the time of this Jandek gig to make that awful 'come-back' album.....not a popular point of view,but, I do wish Iggy Pop would just kindly go-away....or at least get his male menopause hair cut off.

Tracklist:

1 Rubbish In The Alley 16:56
2 The Trenches 12:12
3 Why 9:51
4 Loud Silence 12:24
5 The Cowards' Creation 9:04
6 Being A Body 10:52
7 The Blue Spell 7:41
8 The Conflagration 12:15
9 Quicksand 14:44
10 Rapture Of Now 15:27


Monday, 18 October 2021

Jandek – "Austin Saturday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0844) 2021


It's common knowledge that anyone with any brains dislikes Country and Western music,and the god-fearing morons who listen to it. So to hear Jandek having a go at making his own Country (or shit..) stained improvisations in Texas , in a Presbyterian church no-less,likely in front of  a church full of liberal arty-farty-artphags instead of fully armed redneck homophobic racist misogynist anti-semites; does indeed entice one's reluctant toe-tappin'feet to move in that once taboo direction.
The only instrument I can think of worse than a fretless bass has to be the pedal steel guitar,which makes the sound that Tom's whiskers make when they are stretched to the limit in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.Good for sound effects, shit for music is what i'm a gettin' at boy. In this instance played by top Pedal Steel guitar improviser Susan Alcorn, who seemed to have a one woman goal to make this instrument sound less shit. The Female Mick Karn?.....oh come on Dali's Car made a great album,and there's Tin Drum too!!!?
If Country and Western sounded like the abstract version that Sterling and college trained bluegrass buddies put forward on the Rep's fourth appearance in Austin, then all would be different. The cowboys will have killed themselves,we'd all be naturally cleverer as a consequence,also know as herd intelligence,as opposed to the herd stupidity we have today.There would be no republicans in the Whitehouse,including the new Democrat Republicans like Biden, and we'd all like the sound of the Pedal Steel Guitar.
What's not to like?
A word of caution, if you are one of those types who give truly terrible abominations in music a chance,and i'm complimenting them by considering these things as music;like musical evils, such as all Hip Hop,Lovers Rock,K-Pop,and country;then I warn you country apologists to approach with extreme caution this cockamamie Jandek and Western alloy,for it be not as palatable for yee as a bowl of Grits sautéd  in last christmas's Deep Fried Turkey entrails' ultra saturated fat......and two hard boiled eggs.....make that three hard boiled eggs.

Tracklist:

1 Lifting Longnecks 8:08
2 Turquoise And Silver 8:25
3 Your Letter 8:22
4 Are You Ready 6:53
5 It Ain't Me 7:25
6 Do It Again 7:08
7 She Drank Wine 6:06
8 Play With Money 7:16
9 Baton Rouge 7:34
10 Better Later 8:14