Well I had Gruts for tea last night,and they were delicious...I fried them in butter, served with a handful of chickweed, washed down with a quart of rainwater fresh from the barrel. I gave the leftovers to the dog...but he died this morning!
If there's a man for a crisis, its Ivor Cutler. If only he was still with us to make sense out of this absurd pandemic. He would have understood perfectly why people weren't allowed to lie down on the grrrasss in the parrrk(thats my attempt to reproduce his accent using standard lettering.....there's more!
"loook!" said fatha. "A patch of grrrass! Go and sit upon the grrrass and feel your lumps".He makes one feel like a child again, but not in the patronising way that the govern-ment does it, but by talking directly to ones inner-child.Instead of the Queen addressing the nation,or Trump...aww pleeeeze!(To whom i dedicate the poem "Lunatic",the angriest poem that Ivor has ever written,he says)...or indeed Macron!?...we need Ivor Cutler more than we ever did.
Altogether now...."Ooooooooh Pellets rolling round my feet,
look at the girl with the broken nose laughing out the windoooooow!"
Track Listing:
1. The Man With The Trembley Nose 20/02/1979
2. The Obliging Fairy 20/02/1979
3. Examine The Contents 20/02/1979
4. A Saucer 20/02/1979
5. A Lady Found An Insect (Aka Buffet) 20/02/1979
6. Lunatic 20/02/1979
7. Melon 20/02/1979
8. Egg Meat 20/02/1979
9. Pass The Ball Jim 20/02/1979
10.Gruts For Tea 20/02/1979
11.Tomato Brain 15/04/1981
12.Step It Out Lively Boys 15/04/1981
13.Counting Song 15/04/1981
14.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 15 15/04/1981
15.Ready 15/04/1981
16.A Land Of Penguins 15/04/1981
17.Her Darling 15/04/1981
18.Pellets 15/04/1981
19.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 16 15/04/1981
20.Bad Eye 23/03/1983
21.Pussy On The Mat 23/03/1983
22.A Blue Bear 23/03/1983
23.Women Of The World 23/03/1983
24.Halfway Through 23/03/1983
25.People Run To The Edge 23/03/1983
26.Brenda 23/03/1983
27.Mostly Tins 23/03/1983
28.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 17 23/03/1983
29.A Doughnut In My Hand 23/03/1983
30.Old Black Dog 23/03/1983
31.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 18 23/03/1983
32.All The Time 15/02/1984
33.The Revelation 15/02/1984
34.Her Equipment 15/02/1984
35.Questionnaire 11/05/1986
36.Just a Nuance 15/02/1984
37.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 19 15/02/1984
38.Vegetarians 15/02/1984
39.Lemonade 15/02/1984
40.I Jumped Over A Wall 15/02/1984
41.Jelly Mountains 15/02/1984
42.I Built A House 15/02/1984
43.Are You A Tory 30/06/1985
44.Back Home 30/06/1985
45.Country Door 30/06/1985
46.I'm Fixed 30/06/1985
47.It's Snowing 30/06/1985
48.Knockin' at My Door 30/06/1985
49.Large & Puffy 30/06/1985
50.Life in a Scotch Sitting-Room Vol 2 ep 10 30/06/1985
51.A New Home 30/06/1985
52.Walkin' to a Farm 30/06/1985
53.Vermin 30/06/1985
54.A Ball In A Barrel 11/05/1986
55.Bend Down Yetta 11/05/1986
56.Bucket And Steam 11/05/1986
57.Crunch Crunch 11/05/1986
58.Glasgow Dreamer Ep 3 (11/05/1986)
59.Glasgow Dreamer Ep 4 (11/05/1986)
60.God's Blessing 11/05/1986
61.Jewish Jokes 11/05/1986
62.Laughter And Disbelief 11/05/1986
63.Maturity 11/05/1986
64.One Of The Best 11/05/1986
65.OK, I'll Count To Eight 15/04/1981
66.Three Men 15/02/1984
67.The Wren 23/03/1983
DOWNLOAD more prime cutlets of cutler HERE!
10 comments:
This is great! Thanks v much!
I love that big talk, give me some more!
@Scotch Stu so you want BIG talk do ya?
I've already written the next episode for the remainder of the peel sessions...and to be honest I dunno what i wrote,so I can't remeber if its BIG oe not? What goes in a scottish Stew then?...'Gruts'???
Irn Bru, Fortified Wine, Chips, Call Centres, Heroin & Unemployment
Doesn't taste as good as it used to when I was growing up
Recipe back then was Irn Bru, Fortified Wine, Chips & Sweat of Heavy Industry
Used to come home from our less than half-full schools we'd been split into depending on whether our dads supported the blue or the green team, scoff down our grub, then run out on to the streets of Auchtershoogle to look at the best rain in the world, Scotch rain.
(Sorry. This lock-in is driving me up the bloody wall. We've had a week of no rain, that might be it for the year, and I can't bloody go anywhere!)
@Scotch stu....I've had my share of Scottish Haut Cusine in my lifetime, I went out with a Girl from Bellshill for six hard years,a green family by the way,...Lorne Sausage, piece'n'egg, Tatties, washed down with a healthy dose of Iron Bru (i'm being ironic...or ironic bru i guess?), and lashings of tonic wine as concocted by the venerable monks of Buckfast Abbey. I remember when the new lie-sure center in Motherwell was opened,and who cut the ribbon?...nun(geddit?) other than the deacon of Buckfast Abbey himself.(oh the joys of wordplay?)
And the chippies, the only places you can get your tumours served on a polystyrene tray deep fried in batter.
As you can see, i'm filling my lock in time writing this utter drivel....but it keeps me off the streets, and some old codgers alive until the next epidemic.
A nice wee present from Jonny. Thank you!
ps Jonny talking of Gruts, will you be posting it and Prince Ivor, as they are the only records not readily available.
@ anonymous...i wasn't going to post any of the official records...but as you asked i will post these two......how's that for service?
Jonny I love you. These two records have been unavailable for years, so to finally hear them would be wonderful, thank you!
I remember his Crete, rhymes with Greece! It just really stuck with me. Where are the Ivors of today?
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