Friday, 19 April 2019

Jandek ‎– "Newcastle Sunday" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0783) 2006




Live at the Sage, Gateshead,in north east England, May 22nd 2005. Finds Jandek in the land of scantily clad women going clubbing on a freezing january night;their male counterparts in only a t-shirt and moustache.Simple folk with simple tastes,who think their local Football Club is one of the 'Big Five', when they have never won anything since before world war two.I did once witness Leicester City getting a firm hammering of 7-1 by Newcastle United.The game preceeded by a performance by Lindesfarne......the less said about both those performances the better.....but at least we (Leicester City FC) have since gone on to win the Premier League....so......HA!

Of course not all Geordies (residents of Newcastle upon Tyne)are boneheaded hard cases.....I mean Zoviet France come from there, somehow I can't see them as plain t-shirt wearing moustachioed hard men? (although ZF are prime whingers in the free download department;which is why there isn't any ZF on this blog no more...silly boys...but links can be provided if requested)
Luckily for The Representative of Corwood Industries, the more erudite type of Geordie, had turned up in Gateshead to applaud our man in the black stetson.
Should have been called 'Gateshead Sunday' really?
Again, the lovable carrot top indulges in some tuning ritual before a few of the songs.He seems to have got it right however, as this sounds like classic Jandek from the electric albums,but with classier backing, and a couple of effects pedals.

Tracklist:

1-1 Depression 8:11
1-2 Other End Of Town 5:26
1-3 Every Morning 6:59
1-4 All Of A Sudden 6:57
1-5 Locked Up 4:33
1-6 Put It Up 6:08
1-7 Mangled And Dead 6:11
2-1 Some Other Name 6:20
2-2 Telephone Blues 7:08
2-3 Cottage In The Rain 6:35
2-4 Sheba Doesn't Have 8:48
2-5 Shadow Of The Clouds 11:17


Thursday, 18 April 2019

Jandek ‎– "Glasgow Monday" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0785) 2006



Like a piano player in a deserted bar at 4am,Jandek helps you stare into your half-empty whiskey glass, and decide to end it all.The most pleasant method is apparently inhaling an inert gas, such as Argon,or Nitrogen.A feeling of euphoria accompanies ones dying moments,and seeing the faces of dead relatives is allegedly a distinct possibilty. The least pleasant method is doing it whilest listening to a Jandek record.His primary purpose is to reveal the bitter-sweet charade of existence in its naked form via the medium of music.He seems to be in touch with the long forgotten ancient art of understanding our brief tenure in this permanent 'now'. Resurrecting a long dead paganism (represented by the picture of the Dolmen on the cover?),which at least identified our real gods, the sun and the stars.

Basically you're a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust....what do you have to be scared of?

The nine parts of 'The Cell' ,a metaphor for the human body I assume,was recorded live at the Centre for Contemporary Arts, Glasgow,on May the 23rd, 2005.And marks the first release of Jandek on Piano,backed by some understated contrabass,and percussion.Our Corwood Representative, mumbles a slew of existential ramblings above his largely tuneful ivory tinkling.
Don't play this while relaxing in your flotation tank, or you just might drown yourself.
You have been warned.

Tracklist:

The Cell

1-1 Prelude 5:12
1-2 Part One 10:26
1-3 Part Two 8:25
1-4 Part Three 11:04
1-5 Part Four 9:15
2-1 Part Five 7:40
2-2 Part Six 6:21
2-3 Part Seven 7:51
2-4 Part Eight 6:29
2-5 Part Nine 12:10


Wednesday, 17 April 2019

Jandek ‎– "Brooklyn Wednesday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0789) 2007




Boy, this is a long one! Four CD's of the representative sounding like his records, very early in his live career at the Issue Project Room, Brooklyn, NYC, September 7, 2005.

It could drive yer average guy on the street into an inexpicable rage, or make a grown feminist cry.This is the epitome of 'Wrong'......four CD's of 'wrong'.
This isn't the music you wanna be playing before you kick the stool away,because, as you dangle there, slowly asphyxiating, you really don't wanna hear Jandeks bleak world view echoing in that tunnel of white light as your Brain goes into anoxia mode, preparing the 'off' switch.
Maybe some Abba, or Classix Nouveaux....something to make you glad you're dying,rather than be in more emotional pain as you head for the last round-up.
Jandek's non-music is, I suppose, a kind of living death.Many allegedly 'great' artists have tried, and failed, to create such a feeling; but Sterling Smith from Houston,has the ability to do it effortlessly.....and, more importantly, without explaining himself, or 'it'.

Tracklist:

Set One
1-1 Put Me There 11:21
1-2 Destroy The Day 10:43
1-3 Obscure Physics 8:26
1-4 Structure Of Words 9:02
2-1 All I Want 5:11
2-2 Lonely World 8:32
2-3 Change My Brain 9:51
2-4 I'll Send A Thought Out Floating 5:09
2-5 I Love You 10:51

Set Two
3-1 How ’R You 13:31
3-2 City Pounding Down 12:12
3-3 Different Blues 9:21
3-4 My Necessity 8:21
4-1 Sea Of People 7:59
4-2 Sorry, Sorry 9:13
4-3 Tequila Girl 10:54
4-4 Just Enough 10:15


Tuesday, 16 April 2019

Jandek ‎– "Manhattan Tuesday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0788) 2007


Well, there's only six or so Jandek albums left to post, so fuck Jandek Monday, this is gonna be Jandek week. The day that Notre Dame in Paris lies smoldering, it seems fitting to mourn this classic of Gothic architecture with some classic Gothic outsider misery.
Lets face it, it was just a building, no-one died, but we're still gonna spend billions restoring it, with enough money to end child poverty in africa, or pay for enough subsidised solar panelling to make a large dent on greenhouse emissions.Normally frugal Billionaires have prized open their wallets to donate 100's of millions of Euro's, but remain unmoved when confronted by starving african kids, or even when made aware of the plight of my own personal pet project, Saving The Pangolin!(click here to donate a fiver).
Meanwhile,Grenfell Tower, a purposely sub-standard highrise block inconveniently housing ordinary people(scum) in an expensive part of London,which burned to the ground, with huge loss of life, is as nothing in real terms in comparison with that smoldering national symbol.The needle on the moral compass is spinning wildly,like the wheel of fortune,landing on 'Lose a Turn'for the poor, and 'Bankrupt' for Africa.
When Coventry Cathedral got destroyed by the Luftwaffe, they didn't rebuild it, they built a cost effective,and rather stylish, replacement, leaving the ruins next to it for posterity.They didn't do such a great job with the rest of Coventry sadly. Same thing happened to St Pauls in the 18th century. So should this be for Notre Dame. Nothing lasts forever, its time to move on. There's too much emphasis on 'Things' and not enough on people and suffering
This is why I wanna move on from Jandek Monday, and leave the ruins of Jandeks splintering personality on display, in full, here, for posterity. Alongside the majestic charred edifices of Our Lady in Paris, with this smoking appearence from our Corwood representative in New York.
This performance in Manhattan, at the Anthology Film Archives on sept 6th 2005, is enhanced by the inspiring fret work of Loren Mazzacane Connors on guitar, leaving the groaning and synth work to the Representative.
I know i say this a lot, but i think this is my favourite modern Jandek album;but then again maybe the best Jandek record is the last one you listened to? 

Tracklist:

Afternoon Of Insensitivity:

1-1 Part One 13:04
1-2 Part Two 20:44
1-3 Part Three 9:56
2-1 Part Four 11:24
2-2 Part Five 12:39
2-3 Part Six 7:06
2-4 Part Seven 18:25


Monday, 15 April 2019

Jandek ‎– "Glasgow Friday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0791) 2008


It's Jandek Monday at Brigadoon,as featured on the cover.Except that the castle pictured is Dunluce Castle in Northern Ireland.
Recorded on the 14th of October 2005 at The Arches in Glasgow. Performing as part of the Instal festival, the same festival and venue at which he had made his unannounced live debut in 2004 ("Glasgow Sunday(coming soon)").
The main feature of this performance is how Jandek appears to be tuning up before every section!? I guess he's just making sure he's not in any standard tuning before the cacophony begins.Tuned to the key of whatever.
Tracklist:

1 Walking Blues 13:08
2 Goodbye Today 6:45
3 This Wasted Life 6:14
4 Slave Of The River 6:08
5 My Plan 10:48
6 If I Could Be With You 6:36
7 Out And About 6:13
8 These Kokomos 9:24
9 Something New 5:41
10 Arms Of A Stranger 6:47


Saturday, 13 April 2019

The Pigs ‎– "1977" (Bristol Archive Records ‎– ARC 090 V) 2010



The Pigs were the little brothers of The Cortinas in the Bristol punk scene in 1977. They were the ones who were due to support the Sex Pistols but the venue burned down the day before.
Like the Cortinas, theirs was avery Pub Rock/Punk hybrid sound.Clean guitars and speed were all that was needed.
They didn't stimulate the metal end of the genre, so quickly faded away after one highly regarded single.

Tracklist:

1 Psychopath
2 Youthanasia
3 Ran Me In
4 National Front
5 They Say
6 Exploitation
7 General Election
8 Nuclear Disarmament
9 Personality Change
10 Give It Ball
11 They Shoot Horses Don’t They


Friday, 12 April 2019

Great British Heroes ‎– "Eric Miller" (Lightning Records ‎– GIL 538) 1978



The legendary 'withdrawn' Lightning Records release of GBH's (not the more famous GBH) only single.
They played the Roxy a few times, after they switched from bog standard Hard Rocking group to 'Punk', and featured, briefly, future TV comedian Roland Rivron on drums.Er... Thats about it.
Thanks to the internet we can now all hear this great lost single.
They imploded shortly after this.

DOWNLOAD soomething  grievous and bodily HERE!

Thursday, 11 April 2019

The Snifters ‎– "I Like Boys" ( Lightning Records ‎– GIL 534) 1978



Well......er......I'm frightened! This slightly dodgy euro-pop atrocity, enters itself into the "What the Fuck was that" category of pop histroy......not that this anthem for Gay sexual predators was at all popular.....except eith Gay Sexual Predators.
The lightning Records Belgian connection comes well and truly out of the closet here, with this Synth Punk tribute to 'Boys and their Stinky Toys'.....a desperate grasp for some pink punk  pounds from the gaping back pockets in the crotchless leather shorts of the nascent Gay Disco scene.
This horrible tune will leave you open-mouthed and looking for the exit, rather than open-mouthed waiting for one of those 'Stinky Toys' to fill the void.
It's also actually quite funny in a 'Good Bad' kind of way.The heavy flemish accent doesn't help, and the Arnold Schwarzenegger style backing vocals, sound like they're being delivered by a lobotomised hairy backed lummox in a gimp mask, chained up in a particularly damp corner of a secret basement apartment.

"Here Dere ev-rywhere,
I Like Boisss, I Like Boisss,
I Like dere steenki Toissss"

Mummy!!!!!

The sleeve accurately describes the music, with a sovereign ringed hairy hand caressing the rear of a wavy haired manchild, ripe for some abuse.
The rear sleeve, for the B-side, "Baby Punker", is potentially more disturbing. Portraying a baby seemingly gratifying itself in an unforgivable prone receiving postion, through it's diaper!!!?
This could easily have been the Belgian entry for the Eurovision Song Contest in 1978 as far as I know. Its certainly an argument for the UK leaving the European Union.
Whoever made this record is, no doubt, in prison now......or, more likely, Dead!

Tracklist:

A I Like Boys
B Baby Punker


Wednesday, 10 April 2019

Cane ‎– "3 x 3" (Lightning Records ‎– GIL 531) 1978


The main problem with these disappearing outsider punk groups was the instantly forgettable names thay gave themselves.....'Cane'!?...what's that?....'Pain' rather than Cane would have been an improvement,and not signing to Lightning another.
Then Lightning Records decided to release the Watford trio's most non-punk song as the A-side of a three track single, which killed them off for good......not that they would have gone on to anything however;but they did get a track on the 'Streets' compilation,which was one of the first 'Punk' albums I owned.
Inevitably they sank without a trace.

Tracklist:

A Dice
B1 Suburban Guerilla
B2 D. K. Dance


Martin And The Brownshirts ‎– "Taxi Driver / Boring" (Lightning Records ‎– GIL 507) 1978



Another bunch of dubious reprobates on the Lightning 'Punk' roster were Martin and his Brownshirts. From the lovely middle class town of Chester,Chestershire, where all the nouveau riche and footballers live nowadays.
Of course with a name like that they quickly attracted a Nazi following, who ruined everyones fun, so they had to change their name.
They did manage this superior outsider punk single about the Scorsese classic 'Taxi Diver'.Wether the Martin in their group name was inspired by the director or not is not known, but the lyrics definitely were inspired by the Travis Bickle mirror scene. Thankfully ,like the other hive-minded Punx, they never copied Travis's hair cut which came to define the stupider kind of Punk that still lives with us today!
This could have been a Hit!

Read Drummer, Willie Williams rather amusing account of the groups lifespan HERE!

DOWNLOAD something brown HERE!

Monday, 8 April 2019

Jandek ‎– "Glasgow Sunday 2005" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0792) 2008


Jandek's set that included a second JFK assasination connection, was recorded live at The Arches, Glasgow, Scotland on October 16, 2005.
He had previously appeared at the Texas theater in Dallas that Oswald was arrested at, in 2016;a review of which(by 'moi') you can get HERE! During which one concluded that Jandek fired the fatal bullet from the 'Grassy Knoll'. So is the reference here a further indication of our Representatives guilt? Is he laughing at us, hiding in plain sight?.....probably not, but we all like a mystery don't we? That's the primary reason we like Jandek.
The spoken account of mass brainwashing, which is the track named after that infamous Knoll, seems to suggest a Sirhan Sirhan style Manchurian Candidate scenario, which involved the Representative 'losing his mind to them', and that '(he) knew that he must GO!?'.
Like Oswald he suggests he was the patsy, who didn't go along with the plan made by that 'God Man' Sterling refers to.
Like any conspiracy nut, one can make any piece fit the jigsaw puzzle,so please face up to the clear Facts that it was Jandek wot dunnit guvner!
The ethereal guitarwork backing up this admission from our favourite beneficiary of CIA identity protection, is provided by the magnificent Loren Mazzacane Conners, whose many albums are the epitome of melancholy.Probably another outsider guitarist on the CIA witness protection program, but far less moany than the Identity given to Jandek.
Things get a bit wilder for the second track, as Alan Licht takes over guitar duty, and Jandek moves to drums.Ending in wild applause from the Glaswegian crowd.
The J(andek)FK Conspiracy starts here!

Tracklisting:

The Grassy Knoll 25:26
Tribal Ether 24:47


Sunday, 7 April 2019

Too Much ‎– "Who You Wanna Be" & "Kick Me One more Time" 7" Singles (Lightning Records ‎– GIL 513/GIL 552) 1978/1979



Tracklisting:

A Who You Wanna Be
B Another Time Another Place



Tracklisting:

1-Kick Me One More Time
2-Be Mine
3-It's Only For Me


Too much what? Certainly not too much in the department of record releases. In fact, just enough.
For most pop groups two singles should be the maximum output for their careers.....what careers?
Again, not much is known about this youthful act on Lightning Records, but they did do a photoshoot at least, and it reveals they had a prediliction for turned up jacket collars to make them appear cool.A fashion angle popularised by Alvin Stardust,Eric Cantona and John Robb of the Membranes......not to be encouraged.
Fresh out of secondary school by the sound of it, and the look of it.Too much's fledgling career was no doubt curtailed by 'Real Life', jobs, university courses and other crap like that.Likely, they had to sell the music gear their mums and dads bought them to pay the rent in their grotty bedsits as society began to grind down their youthful enthusiasm.They're probably all dead now!?
They did,however, leave us with five charming upbeat power pop rave-ups with a distinct Pub Rock flavour.....more photo's anyone?...
Yes, one of them had a beard.Very  subversive in 1978.

Friday, 5 April 2019

Lucy ‎– "Really Got Me Goin' + Never Never (7" Singles) " (Lightning Records ‎– BCS 0008;+GIL 516) 1977/1978


Tracklisting:

A Really Got Me Goin'
B Oy


Tracklisting:

A Never Never
B Feel So Good

Lightning Records philosophy strictly followed the 'If you throw enough shit at the wall some will stick' rule.
They threw lots of Punk Shit at all available walls,and mostly nothing stuck.The walls of taste were teflon coated.
Sad thing is not all of it was shit, including the two singles, in '77/'78 by the abysmally named 'Lucy'.
Four tracks of faultless high octane rock'n'roll, of the original Pub Rock/Punk Rock hybrid that we all fell in love with.....yep, I love Lucy.....thats what i was building up to. Tadaaaah!
If they had a name something like Slaughter and the Dogs they would have been a sucessful medium sized punk rock act....but nah!...they were called 'Lucy'!!!!????

Snatch ‎– "Snatch" (Pandemonium ‎– WITCH 1) 1983



Oh Christ!...Patti Palladin and Judy Nylon were 'Snatch',two potty mouthed american ex-pats,or, immigrants if they were black; who were sooooo bored that they decided to be Rock-Stars one hungover morning after drinking somebody elses booze the previous night.
There are times when the phrase "Too Cool For School" applies rather too fucking much. You just know these kool chicks wouldn't want to be seen with ugly penniless no-marks like you and me....well at least not you anyway.
Just read this toe-curling interview with Patti Palladin extracted from too cool for school 'search and destroy magazine:

"When I came to London in about '74 we(Palladin and Judy Nylon) became good friends. We were trying our best to get something going, we were both creative chicks... We both had ideas of sorts.
For 2 foreign chicks living in London, what is there really to do? So that's why Rock & Roll! It was the obvious thing to do out of boredom. We thought about forming a band together. We worked on basic lyrics and melodies and things. But it was hard trying to find people who understood where we were coming from. At that time all the punks were suddenly beginning to appear. Everyone was into saying, "I'm a punk. I'm cool, I'm aggressive, we're going to change it" and all this shit."

These cool coooool chicks could easily pass for Glam refugees Johnny Thunders and Bowie in drag. In fact didn't Palladin have a relationship with her male-self? The ultimate narcissistic kick.
These flat-chested chanteuses had their most famous single released on fake punk label Lightning Records in 1978, and it scraped the bottom edge of the charts. Like a Glam/Punk version of The GTO's, they sang about being bored and shopping to muddy post-bowie backing tracks mixed low beneath their piercing drawls.
The myth is that they never exploited their sexuality, unlike the other Punk girls(?), which is of course pure bollocks.Look at the sultry poses that adorn the two sides of the LP cover....notably with the less attractive one (Judy Nylon) on the back.I imagine there were some bitchy battles about that subject....ahhh....maybe not because they were 'Artists' weren't they.....better than us.
This all involved, naturally, an 'Eno Collaboration',but knowing Eno, they likely collaborated in bed as well.....they were after all, Too Cool For School.

Tracklisting:

A1 Credit 3:18
A2 All I Want 3:50
A3 Second Rater 2:00
A4 Amputee 1:56
A5 Joey 2:20
A6 Stanley 3:57
A7 Carlotta 2:02
A8 Trial By Fire 2:21
A9 Radio Ad 1978 0:33
B1 Dead Heat 4:12
B2 When I'm Bored 1:56
B3 I.R.T. 2:16
B4 Shopping For Clothes 3:45
B5 R.A.F.
Featuring – Brian Eno(told ya!) 2:58
B6 Black Market 5:11


Thursday, 4 April 2019

The Jerks ‎– "Jerk Off" (Overground Records ‎– OVER 65CD) 1997


They mentioned the Dole Queue, they said that they 'Hate You',and one of them had bleached hair......must be Punk right?
One of the more credible groups on Lightning Records, but don't ask me me why!
They did after all,have a keyboard player,which breaks rule number two of Punk Rock...No Keyboard Players. They also break rule number one, No Backing Singers.At least rule number three wasn't contravened,...No Brass Sections.A big no no that one....remember The Saints second album!???
The later tracks reveal  genuine pretentions towards New Wave Pop,but they didn't have any talent, which is, in itself, a major talent if you wanna make proper Punk Rock......which The Jerks managed to actually do on a couple of tracks.All this despite the rather silly use of the word 'woofing' in a tune that resides in one of the very worst punk sub-genres.....'Comedy Punk'. Did anyone ever find Toy Dolls, Splodgenessabounds, and the Dickies funny at all?

Tracklisting:

1 Back To Berlin
2 California Sun
3 Hold My Hand
4 You're Not Worth It (Jerk Off)
5 Dole Queue Boys
6 We Hate You
7 Get Your Woofing Dog Off Me
8 More More More
9 Join The Navy
10 Cool
11 Cruisin' (Again)
12 Safety Zone
13 The Beating Of Hearts
14 Come Back Bogart
15 Are You Strong Enough?


Wednesday, 3 April 2019

Blitzkrieg Bop ‎– "Top Of The Bops" (Overground Records ‎– OVER 69CD) 1998


One of the better releases on Lightning Records would have to be "Lets Go" by those 'Geordie New Wave luminaries', Blitzkrieg Bop(of which there are three versions of on this cd comp). An adapted version of Scott Mackenzies Hippy anthem involving putting flowers in your hair. Tony Parson's NME review of this tune is paraphrased in an amusing interview (track 18) on local radio back in '77, during which the Blitzkrieg Bopper involved actually sounds reasonably informed, and the local DJ rather amusingly alludes that this record and group are not very good.
Of course they're 'not very good', that was the whole point innit? The difficult part was to have the ability to not improve, the lack of which was the main factor in Punk Rocks rapidly approaching death date,or at least the sell-by date. It was simply all over by the end of 1978....and so were Blitzkrieg Bop. The band they stole their rather unispired name from,(Ramones if you somehow hadn't worked that one out yet?), kept repeating themselves into the late eighties,but they weren't as punk as these geordies,had worse clothes,rocked too much and basically sang about girlfriends.

DOWNLOAD lightning war bop on lightning HERE!

Tuesday, 2 April 2019

Various ‎– "Lightning Records Punk Collection" (Anagram Records ‎– CD PUNK 79) 1996





Lightning Records had a massive hit in 1977 with "Uptown Top-Ranking" by Althea and Donna, so they had buckets full of cash to penetrate the 'Punk' market.Trouble was there weren't any Bands left to sign up, and no-one would want to sign for such a dodgy label as that anyway. So they got all the groups no-one wanted, and made a few up too.

This compilation of Fake Punk cash-in masters, Lightning Records, is a punk dustbin full of fake groups and groups signed because one of them had a short hair cut and knew naughty words like 'Berk' or flipping Heck!
If you didn't know any better, and you heard "Dark Glasses" by The Mirrors, in 1978, you'd either be horrified at its vicious roll'n'roll furylessness, or find it totally laughable. The correct reaction would have to be laughter, as it's one of thee most clueless attempts at a punk cash-in ever gobbed onto vinyl.
The lyrics, sang by what could only be an off-duty Elvis impersonator,or that bloke from Spandau Ballet, are priceless. Examples of which are:
"You're wearing Dark Glasses, Have You Got The Class?"
"In a doorway they take co-co with a jacknife"(they weren't allowed to say Cocaine I guess)
No they weren't the proto-Pere Ubu Mirrors from Cleveland Ohio,but they did play the Roxy and The Vortex, and support Sham 69. How this tune went down I shudder tho think.
Whereas Fake Punkers, "Martin and the Brownshirts" did actually come from Cleveland, as in the shithole in the north-east of England, rather than the shithole in America.
Nasty Media, no-one knows anything about,but I suspect they were another made up band, and were the only 'Punk' band to rhyme Berk with Jerk, so they get top marks on the Punksploitation scale from me.
Neville Wanker & The Punters are the wonderfully annoying bosses of the middle-aged blokes go punk punksploitation Oscar. The backing singers,(which breaks Punk rule number one, 'No Backing Singers),relentlessly chant "Punk...Punk Rock" all through this charming ditty about how "The Punk Rock is here to Stay"!!!? Its like a parody that would regularly crop up on awful TV magazine programme like "That's Life" in 1978.
The Fruit-Eating Bears even went on 'A Song For Europe' in an attempt to get on the Eurovision Song Contest.....they didn't.....but you can get all their stuff HERE!
Elton Motello, whose Gay anthem 'Jet Boy Jet Girl' was nicked from fellow chutney ferret Lou de Prijck and lip synced by Plastic Betrand, was in 'Bastard' with Brian James(the Damned), and is probably the only person on this with any debatable cred' points in the Punk Rock world.
The rest are a bunch of flare wearing converts with shoulder length hair.Maybe sporting a discreet safety pin, a 'punk' badge or two,and a length of chain attached to their jumpers......which for me was a far better image than getting tarted up on the Kings Road and spiking up your previously blow-dried locks.
This album is crammed with effortlessy insipid punk and new wave facimiles, nothing at all offensive, and actually nothing to do with 'Punk Rock'. Its great!

PS...you can get a full Fake Punk onslaught from Die or DIY?'s Fake Punk compilation "Come and get yer Punk in Woolworths" by clicking HERE!

Tracklisting:

1 –Jet Bronx & The Forbidden - Ain't Doin' Nuthin'
2 –The Mirrors - Cure For Cancer
3 –The Jerks - Get Your Woofing Dog Off Me
4 –Blitzkrieg Bop - Let's Go
5 –Martin & The Brownshirts - Taxi Driver
6 –Elton Motello - Jet Boy Jet Girl
7 –Fruit Eating Bears - Chevy Heavy
8 –Dirty Dog - Let Go Of My Hands
9 –Horror Comic - I Don't Mind
10 –Too Much - Who Do You Wanna Be
11 –The Nerves - TV Adverts
12 –Cane - D.K.Dance
13 –Cane - College Girls
14 –Neville Wanker & The Punters - Boys On The Dole
15 –The Mirrors - Dark Glasses
16 –Nasty Media - Spiked Copy
17 –Blitzkrieg Bop - U.F.O.
18 –Krypton Tunes - All In Jail
19 –The Jerks - Cool
20 –Too Much - Kick Me One More Time
21 –Open Sore - Vertigo (Live)
22 –The Crabs - Lullabies Lie (Live)


Monday, 1 April 2019

Jandek ‎– "Portland Thursday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0798) 2009


What were you doing on the 20th of April, 2006?
If you were celebrating Hitlers Birthday, then you're an idiot.If you were watching Jandek at the Hollywood Theatre Portland Oregon, then you're not so much of an Idiot; more an inspired Idiot, or a Lucky idiot. There are people out there who think Jandek is an Idiot,well I am inclined to place such people in the same category as those who would celebrate Herr Schicklgrubers latest landmark.
As with all the early 'live' Jandek recordings, this one sounds like Jandek's studio records but meated-up by competent improvisers.
Some of this even 'Rocks-Out','kicks-ass', or whatever other hypenated adjectives do the rounds in American Rocker circuits.
Fear not, there are ladles of misery and self-pity to pour over those specific carbunkles to conteract such unpleasentness, like gravy neutralising the chopped liver alongside your potatoes.

Tracklisting:

1-1 I Like You Too 13:29
1-2 Cut Up 12:01
1-3 Someone 13:58
1-4 I Asked You Please 13:22
2-1 Trouble Away 10:56
2-2 The Distance Is Gone 8:28
2-3 Come True 11:03
2-4 Whose Mister Is This 8:56
2-5 Can I Be With You 8:25
2-6 Eddie 10:06
2-7 Highway Going Home 6:51


Sunday, 31 March 2019

Horrorcomic ‎– "England '77" (Castle Music ‎– CMQCD1263) 2006

A fake Punk legend, the awfully named, Horrorcomic, were cobbled together from Lightening Records' backroom staff. Obviously Lightening couldn't find their own spikey tops to exploit, so they sensibly made their own...quite like Maclaren did with the Pistols. But in this case the members looked like beered up status quo fans with mid length hair and denim flares. There's also a suspicion that they were Gary Glitter fans, which doesn't nescessarily disqualify them from being 'Punk', as Johnny Rotten was also a Glitter fan, and so the fuck am I! The Glitter Band Guitar sound will live beyond eternity....unfortunately, Horrorcomic won't...but its enjoyable stuff nonetheless.
Horrorcomic, resplendant in cutting edge  vivien Westwood outfits.

Tracklisting:

1 England '77
2 Cut Your Throat
3 I Don't Mind
4 Support To A Name Band
5 Jesus Crisis
6 The Night Elvis Left The Building
7 Razor Attack
8 Nowhere To Hide
9 Probation Officer
10 Change That Neck (aka Wring That Neck)
11 Sex In The Afternoon
12 The Exorcist
13 Noisy Bastard
14 I'm All Hung Up On Pierrepoint


Saturday, 30 March 2019

The Plague ‎– "X Tapes 1976 - 1981" (Bin Liner Records ‎– RUBBISHLP006) 2005



The Plague,apparently, played the Roxy more times than any other band? If there was a cancellation they rang up The Plague...and they even turned up, complete with an entourage from their local pub, The Old swan,in Battersea!?
A well drilled unit in the art of sounding exactly like a punk group should sound for mums and dads who read the daily mirror in 1977.So much so that they begin to sound like one of those bands that turn up in a TV series,a group of actors playing Punk Rockers.Only in character for the shoot, and not doing enough research.
However, I can't recall any other band of the era posing with an umbrella with a fake hand attached to the top,(the one held aloft by the one that looks like the singer who was in Mud), and a liberal use of chains.
An enjoyable outsider punksploitation romp, complete with a late seventies cockney twang.
Shockingly they have reformed since 2015!!!? Nah!...don't do it boys...pleeeeze!

Tracklisting:

1 "Come Together"
2 "Lay Me in the Moonlight"
3 "In Love"
4 "Wimpy Bar Song" (B-side of "In Love" single)
5 "Nuffin' Doing"
6 "I Don't Wanna Be Like Jimmy"(B-side of "Out With Me All Night" single)
7 "Dog Days"
8 "The End of the World"
9 "Er!" (B-side of "Out With Me All Night" single)
10 "Out with Me All Night"
11 "Stop" (vocals by Sue Slack)
12 "On the Dole" (from the original Plague demo tape)
13 "Again and Again" (from the original Plague demo tape)
14 "Nightmares" (from the original Plague demo tape)


DOWNLOAD an antidote to the punk plague HERE!

Thursday, 28 March 2019

F-X ‎– "Now Where Were We?" (Only Fit For The Bin Records ‎– OFFTB019) 2011


Should be called,"Where Are We Now?However,"F-X's self financed single from 1977-ish is one of the few songs about football that isn't toe-curlingly awful. "Souths Gonna Rise Again" is a simple little dittie about that oasis of excitment in the working mans week, the Football Match. Once the proud possesion of the working class, now, like everything else including Punk Rock, gentrified and stolen by the nouveau riche.
I'm under the impression that the footy team in question is Brighton and Hove Albion?....I may be wrong? Who have indeed risen again, but soon to sink back to where they undoubtedly belong.
There are clearly members sporting post glam hair-do's, and the obligatory long-haired Black Sabbath fan in the ranks. Punk rock was an opportunity for both of these types to live out their fantasies rather than change the world.
One of the main results of Punk Rock was the re-emergence of a speeded up version of Heavy Metal and the NWOBHM groups.Then of course, the real dumb ones just stuck to the Ramones template ad infinitum.Hence the Lurkers/Ramones covers mixed in with two Bowie numbers;whose influence on Punk Rock cannot be over estimated...for one, thats where Richard Hell got his hair-do from,and nicked gawd knows what else.

This compilation brings together those three magnificent tracks (tracks 1,2,&3) from their sole single release, and some long lost demo's and rehearsal tapes to flesh out the legend.
This was the folk music of 1977,and fittingly, they even manage to fit in a punked up version of a traditional english Folk tune to reaffirm that Punk Rock is indeed Folk music first,entertainment second, and art third(accidently of course!).
Dunno which one was Clive Todd (Clive?What kind of punk rock name is that?), but he died rather young.Good to see that none of the other members ever appeared in any other band or even attempted to release another record ever again.Sadly, a route not followed too often by more sucessful musicians.The Ramones,for example, should have knocked it on the 'ead as soon as their first album hit the racks.They just wanted to be pop stars,thats why they sounded like a mixture of The Beach Boys, Bay City Rollers and Slade.....as admitted proudly by Johnny Ramone on many ocassions.
F-X just wanted to be the Ramones, or The Lurkers, for one record, then disappear.....this they achieved very efficiently.

Tracklisting:

1 Souths Gonna Rise Again 2:55
2 O.B.E. 2:36
3 Slag 3:02
4 Jenny 2:15
5 My Baby 3:13
6 Queen Bitch 2:59
7 Sally 3:03
8 Sounds Like The Jam 3:57
9 Rock & Roll Star 2:45
10 You're Gonna Kill That Girl 2:36


Wednesday, 27 March 2019

No Way – "Live @ The Beeb" (Rave Up Records ‎– EPS014) 2015


No way did No Way ever get to record at the esteemed BBC?
Yeah, BBC Radio Cleveland, not Maida Vale studios for Radio One.
It's now 1979 and one can't imagine local radio had a wealth of Post-Punk talent to choose from, I think Basczax were the only Post-Punk group on the block,but too ambitious to stay. Unlike No Way, who not only stuck rigidly to the 1978 template, had no ambition also. Remarkably this session was fossilized on the shelves of Radio Cleveland for 30-odd years.Luckily there was still some viable DNA left inside the dormant magnetic waves frozen within.Like a punk rock jurassic park, these tunes have been resurected to titilate the inner ears of the modern generation.
There is some unfortunate photographic evidence on the rear cover that No Way reformed,playing to half full venues of sweaty shaven headed ruddy cheeked middle aged 'Punx'.Something that shouldn't be encouraged,but if they enjoyed it so what.Just waiting for 'No Way', 'the musical' next.

Tracklisting:

A1 Breaking Point
A2 Crazy Carol Carter
A3 30 Seconds
A4 Senile Delinquents
A5 Jeopardy
A6 Possessions
B1 TV Pox
B2 No Reality
B3 Jealous Girl
B4 Idiots Delight
B5 Crazy Carol Carter #2
B6 Destiny


Tuesday, 26 March 2019

No Way ‎– "Senile Delinquents" (Only Fit For The Bin Records ‎– OFFTB001) 2009


They came from Middlesbrough, and had a lead singer called 'Matey'!?...Perfect Outsider Punk material if ever such a thing existed?
As a yoof, I had many a short break in the Middlesbrough area,as my Father's family were inmates of this very grim urban sprawl.
Dominated by the city sized ICI chemical plant at Billingham, Middlesbrough's main claims to fame, were, The worlds longest Advertising Hoarding, which sat atop one of the stands at Ayresome Park,home of Middlesbrough Football Club;and the fact that it was rarely out of the top two in the annual worst places to live in England list,jostling for the number one spot with Coventry.
Ayresome Park has been replaced now by a posh new stadium and most of the extra-awful bits have been gentrified,as is the fashion; but the Chemical Plant still sxists,pumping out whatever garbage into the ecosystem to form the minds of young men like 'Matey'(Marty Powell),the now deceased front man of 'No Way'.
Of course, Middlesbrough had 'The Rock Garden', where punk groups from all over the UK played, including an early gig by Warsaw aka Joy Division in 1977, which i'd like to think 'No Way' witnessed,or even supported?
These tracks were all recorded in 1978, and includes the three tracks from No Way's self-financed, and impossibly rare single “Breaking Point” backed with the equally glorious “30 Seconds” and the immortal ,“TV Pox”.
Great no-nonsense, finely honed, Original UK Punk rock from the provinces.

Tracklisting:

1 Breaking Point 3:10
2 TV Pox 1:48
3 30 Seconds 0:59
4 Destiny 3:57
5 Crazy Carolcarter 2:49
6 Jeopardy 2:44
7 Senile Delinquents 2:37
8 No Reality 2:16
9 Idiots Delight 3:10


Monday, 25 March 2019

Jandek ‎– "Camber Sands Sunday" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0800) 2009


FUCK!.....Scott Walker's just died!!!...how depressing!?
Nevertheless...life goes on......
Hi-De-Hi, Ho-De-Ho, It's Jandek as a Pontins Blue Coat providing anti-matter  entertainment for the campers at Pontins Holiday camp, Camber Sands 2006.These holiday, concentration camps,were a relic from 1950's Britain, when the UK was skint due to World war two.Having spent all that stolen wealth from the empire in defeating Nazi Germany for everyone, austerity measures meant that no-one had any money.I notice that the bad guys in WW2 got plenty of free money from the USA...the uk got a massive loan which was finally paid off a few years ago...we should have joined the Axis it seems?)
These camps provided brief cheap light relief for the downtrodden populous,as portrayed in TV comedy classic "Hi-De-Hi"(hear Peggy from He de Hi mentioning Mercury Rev here).
Camber Sands was a Pontins holiday camp,and their 'Blue Coats' who entertained the public.Rival Butlins, had 'Red coats', and fictional camp, 'Maplins' had 'Yellow versions. In a desperate attempt to stave off bankruptcy, some bright spark thought of having an alternative music festival in the grounds, off-season;this was a major sucess, and even transferred its formula to the USA.
Also it provided an opportunity for an early concert from the newly 'outed' Jandek
This was at the "All Tomorrows Parties" festival, and sadly Jandek was on the DEVENDRA BANHART DAY, rather than the J.Macsis Day, alongside Eater! Oh No, he had to share the bill with nonsense like Bat For Lashes and Vashti Bunyan. Bert Jansch was also on the bill, and one can only imagine his thoughts on Jandeks guitar technique...he (Bert) died soon after this.
The Corwood Rep had various unnamed support musicians, trying their level best to out-Jandek each other, but it all adds up to a rather pleasant mess. He-De-Hi campers!

Tracklisting:

1 Pragmatic 11:24
2 The Crushed Image 8:45
3 The Idea Of You 11:19
4 Hair Of The Dog 11:05
5 Gone Waiting 6:37
6 The Rapture 8:56
7 My Party 10:53
8 Stolen Powers 7:09


Friday, 22 March 2019

The Hoax ‎– "So What" (Hologramme Music ‎– HOAX3) 1980




Manchester standard Punk trio, The Hoax's only long-ish player from 1980.
Including that drummer bloke from The Smiths, Mike Joyce?
Morrisey's punk flirtation was in the far cooler 'Nosebleeds', with that Durutti Column bloke.
Its all rather entertaining power pop punk rock, effected in an efficient manner.
Its the kind of band thats fun to play in rather than watch or listen to too much.

Tracklisting:

A1 Rats In The Cellar
A2 Some Say
A3 Nice Girls
A4 Ich Habe Keine Spur
B1 Radio D.J.
B2 T.V. Addict
B3 Rich Folk
B4 Schizophrenia


Wednesday, 20 March 2019

Bazoomis ‎– "White Washed Kids ('77-'78)" (Only Fit For The Bin Records ‎– OFFTB021) 2014


Some bands/groups/combo's, whatever the fuck you wanna call 'em, are doomed from the moment they pick a dumbass name, like 'Bazoomis', at the end of one fatal drunken evening.
Outsider Punk this may be, but they ain't half bad. A mixture of original UK punk and its precursor ,Pub Rock, from the Johnny Moped skool of excellence. Judging by the cover image they were from The Damned side of the street, more interested in 'Fun' than Anarchy......good choice.
Trouble is most of them are dead now,with only two surviving members. Too much 'Fun' will indeed kill you.
They apparently played at all the trendy 'Punk' haunts, such as The Roxy and The Vortex, after being invited by Clash mate, Keith Levine, to the Pistols/Clash/Buzzcocks Screen On The Green gig in 76, so naturally they should try it too? Not so 'Outsider' after all?
'Bazoomis' is apparently Russian for 'Madness', which would have been a better name.
They went on to become 'The Expressos' with a new singer, and Johnnie Christo had a number one in the USA as part of 'The Escape Club'.....he's was the luckiest one, as he still lives as well as having hits.
No releases in their lifetime, but they did manage to leave a posthumous pot of studio demos from 1977/78.

Tracklisting:

1 Bundle
2 The Pusher
3 Hot Station
4 Punk Head
5 Give It All To Me
6 Jimmy Slim
7 Don't Listen To What They Say
8 White Washed Kids
9 Rabies
10 Sulphate Depression
11 Plastic People
12 Live
13 Babelonia
14 Negative Boys
15 The Pusher (Long Version)
16 Punk Head #2
17 Slimey Blink


Tuesday, 19 March 2019

Silent Noise ‎– "Whatever Happened To Us?" (Only Fit For The Bin Records ‎– OFFTB002) 2010


In the eighties we used to dig up old lost outsider psych bands, like Wimple Winch and put together lost tracks for eagerly consumed compilation albums.In the early noughties and beyond, we now search out unknown Outsider Punk combo's from 1977, and do the same.
So,from that seething volcano of punk angst,...er....Norwich, came the remanents of the town's first Punk combo, the Toads.....but this time with tunes, and a new name.....Silent Noise!?
Of course Norwich is more famous for being the location for "Sale Of The Century" in the 1970's, and the fictional home town of Alan Partridge. I doubt Silent Noise ever got any tunes on Radio Norwich, but their music certainly has that charming isolated quality of this fenland City. Just looking at the only picture of the group in existence, this was as far away as one could get from The Kings Road in London.
This was how provincial, or, Outsider Punk, as I like to call it.....looked. Aviator sunglasses, flared jeans,pullovers, permed or blow dryed hair...this is how the 'punks'outside of the London clique looked.In fact most of the kids in the Roxy and Vortex wore the same stuff.No-one outside the Clash and The Pistols could afford to shop in Seditionaries.No Richard Hells here!
A few slightly rude 'Punk' style tunes float around the very sixties influenced power pop, and even a bit of polite violence. These boys sound too nice, too embaressed, to be banned from anywhere......Oi..."sling Your Hook", replaces Fuck Off, and Bastards is about as subversive as they get.
All this is ,of course ,highly charming.Probably not what the Daily Mirror reading popularists assumed 'Punk Rock' to be; but thats what it largly was. The lyrics to "Hit Record" likely sums up the totality of their Punk Manifesto. This is all far more honest than John Rotten ever was, despite his tiresome protests of himself being the only 'Honest' rock star ever!
Listening to this inspid rebellion as entertainment for the provincial masses, i feel nothing but boredom at the prospect of listening to those knob'eads in the UK Subs, or to Sandinista!?...what a pile of shite was that?
This posthumous compilation collects their only single, and adds 15 tracks sourced from old cassettes of demo's and rehearsals, between 1978-1980.

Tracklisting:

1-All Through The Night
2-Bastards
3-Follow The Noise
4-Heart To Heart
5-Hit Record
6-I've Been Hurt (So Many Times Before)
7-Kick You In The Head
8-Missing You Today
9-Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
10-Silent Noise
11-Sling Your Hook
12-Tell Me
13-Whatever Happened To Us?
14-You Don't Have To Say That You Love Me
15-You Need Someone
16-Nightclubbing
17-Baby I Know


Monday, 18 March 2019

Jandek ‎– "Chicago Wednesday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0804) 2010



A lovely photo of Chicago adorns the cover, or more likely an impression of how Jandek sees Chicago.A wasteland, devoid of human life.
He's got two trendy musicians from the Windy City's burgeoning underground music scene. That bloke from Tortoise/ Bastro/ etc, and a sophisticated Jazzer,who's played with everyone in the city.
Of course the audience love it, they wouldn't dare to be seen doing otherwise.

Tracklisting:

1-1 Bad Times 13:18
1-2 Red Skirt 12:01
1-3 Land Of God 11:18
1-4 The Lost Ruse 11:20
2-1 Blue Plastic Mat 11:48
2-2 Let Me Go 11:17
2-3 My Vow 13:54


Saturday, 16 March 2019

Tronics ‎– "Love Backed By Force" (Alien Records ‎– BEALIEN 3) 1981


The UK DIY White stripes,or Shite Stripes(?),Ziro Baby and Gaby de Vivienne ,aka Tronics,and their first vinyl LP.Complete with pots'n'pans drums,minimal buzzsaw guitar, and a song about a girlfriend in a coma; which I suspect a certain Stephen Morrissey may well have nabbed the intellectual property of.
Certainly an unusual record, with a rare hint of Tudor era pastoral electronic chamber music popping up inbetween the stripped down Rock'n'Roll and minimal Punk.
Oh, and by the way,for those that are interested,Ziro Baby's Hair was done by Harold?.....it says on the sleeve.

Tracklisting:

Side Odin

A1 Charlie Manson
A2 Love Backed By Force
A3 T.V. On In Bed
A4 There Talking About Us
A5 Ice Flod Festival
A6 Ultra Pol
A7 My Baby's In A Coma


Side DVA
B1 Min Dama
B2 Spending Time
B3 Love Tan (In A Two Way Circus)
B4 L.B.B.F. (Reprise)
B5 Crush On You
B6 Le Monde