Keith LeBlanc – "Major Malfunction" (World Records – WR 005) 1986

Keith LeBlanc was the only white boy in the Sugar Hill Gang Village, hence the name. So to win the respect of the majority Black members of America's premier Hip-Hop collective Keith had to show off his technologically enhanced and Electro-influenced Drum style.

Just as Robin Hood and Little John fought each other in a sickening display of male machismo flailing staffs over what i can only imagine was the 12th century River Trent?

Like two medieval rappers free-styling their way towards a state of mutual appreciation ....sickening I know, but thats what they do innit.

Naturally LeBlanc gained their respect, and he, Doug Winbush, Skip MacDonald from the Furious Five,and Tackhead,ran off to the UK and joined up with pasty-faced mad Dub Professor Adrian Sherwood, and together took all that Electro hip-hop and turned it into something altogether more dark and Industrial to lure more pasty-faced White kids in long overcoats towards something they could at last tap their German army dead stock para-boots to.

This release being, allegedly, a Keith LeBlanc solo album.

Whose beats are heavy, dubbed up and distorted,and included a few tunes that appear elsewhere over many of those Tackhead Sound system records. It all sounds so dated these days, with W.S. Burroughs analogue samples,jousting with all the kinda stuff you expected from "My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts"

or a Holgar Czukay solo album around that time.

Funnily enough The Eno/Byrne/Czukay stuff has dated far better than the On-U-Sound stable,mainly because of LeBlanc's drums I hesitate to suggest.

However it does have a certain Industrial charm about it all,as no-one makes music like this anymore,.....except for a laugh.

Tracklist:

1 Get This

2 Major Malfunction
3 Heaven On Earth
4 Object-Subject (Breakdown's Not Enough)
5 I'll Come Up With Something
6 Move
7 Technology Works Dub
8 You Drummers Listen Good

9 Einstein Mad Dub

DOWNLOAD to function HERE!

Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five – "The Message" (Sugar Hill Records – 540040) 1982

Is this that only Rap record that should have ever been made?

Y'know wot, its not that I dispise Rap moozique, which to some peoples addled brane, means I must be a follower of  Steven Yaxley Lennon,or ,if you're American anyone in the Republican Party. It's just,beyond its monotonous habit of repeating itself over and over again on a scale that only has one solitary note on its stanza's, that on its one page annals of history,everything that it has achieved or, will ever achieve can be encapsulated in one singular track from this peculiar album released in 1982, namely, "The Message". Everything anyone needs to hear in the realms of Hip-Hop ,slash, 'Rap' is first vested,and so it should stay there, is on this rather infectious manifestation of  of that dominant genre.

Of course some of the members of the Furious Five went on to make some very highly interesting and experimental work with Adrian Sherwood,and the On-U-Sound bunch, striving carefully not to exclude Public Enemy's politically charged cacophony of "Nation of Millions" as the gravestone of Rap's Zenith, but...its all in there, compressed into one infinitely dense crotchet, and the "Message" was  the Big Bang,expanding exponentially across the audible universe. A lesson on how to paint yerself  into an infinite corner, and everyone's invited........Not for me however. I've a;ready got "The Message", and that Public Enemy LP, so I don't wanna hear, or see the point in anything else Hippity Hoppity,

Basically its Novelty Music gone pandemically wrong innit? Get out while you still can.

That said, I like the ways these kids dressed, and like this LP record,and does feature some very unimaginative early forays into sampling,for which I think Grandmaster Flash probably had to pay millions in royalties, and was the reason we never heard from him in the same way again, save for some personal appearances and behind the Steel Wheels. Lou Reed did the same for "A Tribe Called Rip Off" (as he ironically called them), who also sampled Ian Dury classic, "What a Waste" on the same track, but Ian never sued 'em.However, talking of Rip-Offs ,Lou only paid Herbie Flowers £17 quid (Standard session Fee in 1972) for the the bassline on Walk On The Wild Side ,as in the bit that "A Tribe Called Quest" sampled for their 'Can I Kick It' top ten smash.All the money should have gone to Herbie right? Instead of 100% of it going to Lewis's's back pocket.He's even credited as the songwriter on "Can I Kick It"!?

This blatant theft, and display of corporate power,was a major part of Rap's evolution ,or lack of,there-in.It also meant that no-one needed to play an instrument no more. How Punk is that?

Tracklist:

1.She's Fresh 4:56
2.It's Nasty 4:15
3.Scorpio 5:10
4.It's A Shame (Mt. Airy Groove) 4:58
5.Dreamin' 5:45
6.You Are 4:49
7.The Message 7:11

8.The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel 7:06

DOWNLOAD and get the message HERE!

Boards Of Canada – "Old Tunes Vol. 2" (Music70 – CANCAS003) 1996

Wow!? this Duo must have invented everything chill room infesting and bedroom festering one could care to imagine, it says 1985 to '96 here!? Not that it sounds like it was recorded on one of those cassette four track portastudios which I assume they must have used, with a noise reduction system that can only have been left behind by fleeing Aliens.

Just listening to this stuff makes me smug enough to lie about how many O-Levels i got in 1983,or is that a Dostoevsky in your pocket or do you like Intelligent Dance Music?

What these Scottish chum bums were doing making music like this in the mid-eighties has ones middle finger resting firmly on the 'dubious' button and another finger up each others arses.

As Pre-post-Club as this may seem, fill in the blank space,(_______).It is this partially inflated,dryly punchline shy, self-indulgent and occasionally clever-clever, attempt to be the Pet shop boys without any Pet Shop boys, does massage ones own 'I was there first' Dorsal vein enough to claim to have been listening to 'Intelligent Dance Music' before Aphex Twin was even born.

I used to say these things about The Fall,but have now cut it down to just preferring the 'Early Stuff'? Which is no doubt what Autechre fans say about Boards Of Canada.

Track List:


A1 We've Started Up 5:39
A2 Jimbo Rehearsing 0:35
A3 Staircase Whip 2:14
A4 Statue Of Liberty 1:52
A5 Dave (I'm A Real Traditionalist) 1:50
A6 Peace/Tony/Devil 0:18
A7 To The Wind 2:30
A8 Iraq Says 0:38
A9 Nine-Rubber Wisdom 1:20
A10 On A Rolling Sea 1:34
A11 Iced Cooly Beatnik 0:36
A12 David Came To Mahana'im 4:39
A13 Sir Prancelot Brainfire 2:51
A14 North Sea Arbeit 1:12
A15 Mushyz 0:35
A16 Heysanna Hosanna 0:59
A17 Fly In The Pool 0:51
A18 Mukinabaht 5:05
A19 It's A Whole 'Nother Year 2:00
B1 Kiteracer 2 2:29
B2 BMX Track 5:05
B3 Hiscores 3:38
B4 Geometric Piss 0:51
B5 Zander Two 3:59
B6 Magic Teens 3:00
B7 Apparatus 0:33
B8 Music For Pylons 1:12
B9 Alpha Rainbow 1:12
B10 Northern Plastics 1:55
B11 Buckie High 5:16
B12 I Love My New Shears 3:11
B13 Solarium 0:22
B14 Breaking Nehushtan 2:41
B15 Orange Hexagon Sun 2:22
B16 Lick 2:39
B17 Powerline Misfortune 1:15

DOWNLOAD bored in scotland HERE!

Boards Of Canada – "A Few Old Tunes" (Music70) 1996

 

Hands Up anyone who thought Boards of Canada were from Canada?

Ah......only me it seems!?

Two smart-arsed Scottish brothers....no not Black Scottish, they were actually proper brothers,as in genetically brothers from the same mother.

Well that's as Funky as it gets i'm afraid, as we are gently lulled to sleep by a myriad of rejected downtempo leftfield LP fillers recorded from 1991 to 1995. If you made it through this without going into a coma, then I shall hold back on the Bored of Canada quips.

Nah, i'm just being rude, its the perfect background accompaniment for a bored game such as Dungeons and Dragons,which boasts a twenty sided dice,while side two has a two sided cassette of fifteen tracks a side.

And like D&D, it is played and listened to by home dwelling geeks nerds and further education technophiles, who have an undiagnosed need to be thought of as Intelligent.Hence this disdainful post club glitch-fest and its even more Disdainful genre, laughably monikered IDM, or, Intelligent Dance Music......not that Geeks and Nerds, or anybody, actually Dances to this awkward Electronica,by Bored of Scotland.

The stoopider sections of society can in fact dance to anything,aided by the stoopid person's super-power.....a total lack of self-awareness, or get off yer Tits on drugs.

However, good to see those Aphex-a-like kids still embracing the freedom of DIY to put out yer own material on cassette,and photocoping up a hand scribbled insert,without the need of no record company man.

Tracklist:

A1 Spectrum 2:19
A2 Light, Clear Hair 0:41
A3 P.C. 0:48
A4 Trapped 3:52
A5 Rodox Video 1:19
A6 Happy Cycling 1:49
A7 House Of Abin'adab 1:55
A8 Finity 5:00
A9 Forest Moon 6:35
A10 Skimming Stones 2:12
A11 Carcan 1:50
A12 Devil 0:14
A13 Mansel 5:36
A14 She Is P 1:42
A15 Davie Addison 1:15
B1 Sac 1:23
B2 Blockbusters 0:40
B3 I Will Get It Tattooed 1:37
B4 The Way You Show 2:56
B5 I Love U 1:41
B6 King Of Carnival 4:18
B7 M9 3:32
B8 Original Nlogax 1:11
B9 Sequoia 4:49
B10 Boqurant 1:43
B11 5.9.78 4:14
B12 Wendy Miller 0:32
B13 Paul Russell's Piece 0:53
B14 Up The March Bank 3:24
B15 Nova Scotia Robots 1:47

DOWNLOAD almost intelligently HERE!

Various Artists – "The Philosophy Of Sound And Machine" (Applied Rhythmic Technology (ART) – art 2 cd) 1992

When things start going all Highfalutin,the nerds reappear from their lair, and try and fix the stuff the Alpha-Males did while they were away. Sick of getting ambient sand from the chill out room kicked in their collective spotty visage-s, they normally attach the word 'Intelligent' as a pronoun, enabling them to look down their lengthy olfactory organs at the Rave kids who had reduced electronic music to merely a medium for dancing like the Twats they were.

Privileged teen-persons from Cornwall, who dug surfing during the daytime, but at night they became the brain of acid house, and invented a kind of background music in their bedroom that embraced such non-musical nonsense as the 'Glitch',and all those sounds no-body had previously thought of using for that post-club party venue in one of Truro's more neglected neighborhoods. Posh they were, and posh they will stay,but it became trendy in those northern clubs to carry a vinyl copy of "Selected Ambient Works" by a certain famous Glitch obsessed Cornish-man*, from which we get stuff like Squarepusher, Drill'n'Bass, Plug and Christwagon,being the same person, not forgetting the great too skool to be cool name-dropee darlings,of older skatebordem dressing...er... ,yes that's right, its only bloody Autechre innit? Beaming down from that chilled jail cell they seem to have inhabited since the exact location of the multiverse starseed was discovered.

Intelligent Dance Music they called it,scarring it as the only musical style in Christendom to actually patronize the listener more that it entertains.......and of course it certainly ain't for dancing to.Look ma I'm Dancin' , I have O-Levels and I don't care!I dance with my Brain mom!

* Aphex Twin aka Richard D. James, who, incidentally, contributes track 13 to this splendid Compact Disc,which means you can make it sound even further 'out' there by merely scratching the disc with your favourite nail scissors.

Tracklist:

1 Future/Past– Nebula Variation 5:53
2 Q-Chastic– CAT 002 3:58
3 Soit - P.P.– n.IASP 5:03
4 Red Cell*– Bio - Dimension 5:54
5 Neuro Politique*– Artemis (Mayday Mix)5:54
6 Kosmik Kommando*– Remember The Feeling6:25
7 Cmetric– Debris 8:40
8 Balil– The Whirling Of Spirits 5:52
9 Esoterik– Pursuit 5:08
10 Future/Past– T.R.Y. 2004 Funk 5:20
11 Twelve Days Of Night– Trance 6:08
12 Balil– Small Energies 6:08
13 Blue Calx – Blue Calx 7:15

DOWNLOAD from the cornish Illuminati HERE! 

Maurice Joshua – "This Is Acid (a New Dance Craze" (Watch Out ! – 560176) 1988

At last an Acid 12" with an actual sleeve, albeit in a strange sort of K-Tel trend cash in style,complete with smiley faces.

It's the French pressing, licenced from Trax in Chicago,that's why. 'Tis also the reason why, out of dozens of re-releases and re-mixes, this one was the only one to feature the Original, and vastly superior 'Original' mix ,by Maurice himself.

The K&T mix, is surprisingly a tad light on the Acid, despite the title. And very heavy on the House side of things.

The S&T remix,does however retain some of the original Acid House knob twiddling,which can only be a good thing can't it?

Tracklist:

A1 This Is Acid (K & T Mix)6:25
A2 This Is Acid (Original Chicago Raw Acid Version) 4:55
B This Is Acid (S & T Mix)7:24

DOWNLOAD a litmus test of your opinion HERE!

Biff'um Baff'um Boys – "Bombers Over Baghdad" (G-Force Records – YIKES 997T) 1990

Nothing's fucking changed has it?

No its not another posthumous release by Muslimgauze,but some politically aware Rave Techno by a group of persons who clearly grew up on a diet of Industrial Funk, such as Tackhead, 400 Blows,23 Skidoo and the like, along with other spin offs therein...like...er...Muslimgauze?

This could easily be rearranged to read Bombers over Tehran, and hopefully predicts a future of Bombers over the East Wing Ballroom,while a certain Ginger Cunt is surveying the stairways that go nowhere, and rooms you can no longer get into. An errant hi-jacked Bomber with a full payload could do good taste a massive favour by flattening the illegal structure before the Washington DC City council does it them selves.....with, of course, the ginger minger becoming collateral damage like the thousands of children the fucker has on his International Court Of Justice charge sheet along with his Bum Buddy BiBi,who very frankly should be hung on live TV.

Tracklist:

A1 Tarmac Tension
A2 Five Minutes
AA1 Bombing
AA2 Chemical Weapons

DOWNLOAD the friendly bombs HERE!

UR – "The Final Frontier" (Underground Resistance – UR003) 1992

The healing hands of Donald J. Trump?

 

Yep, this is what we woke up to today, Trump is actually God!?.....It's all so clear to me now,Jesus is no longer a humble carpenter, he's a incontinent Real Estate Con Artist, Pedophile, convicted Rapist, and wanna be Genocidal  war-monger with a serious Messiah complex. And by the way, The Pope is weak on Crime(wot?),and "terrible for foreign Policy."huh?" (DJT.)

Hopefully this disgusting scumball will follow the Jesus story right to the end,the Final Frontier, after his Last Supper, which, I hope is coming soon. I dunno who will volunteer to administer the Last Kiss, but it sure as shit ain't gonna be Melania.....however, she was a Prostitute when they were....er...."introduced", as was Mary Magdalene spookily enough.

So today's  Acid Rave Techno selection is the  roof tearing power of  Mad Mike's Underground Resistance classic from 1991-ish. 

Just give this a spin, drop an 'E' and dance like the Evil idiot Donald J Christ thinks he isn't, and I promise you all your problems will disappear......momentarily,at least. Amen!?

Tracklist:

A1 The Final Frontier 8:18
A2 Entering Quadrant Five 3:57
B Base Camp Alpha 808 6:18

DOWNLOAD and boldly go where thousands of ravers have been before HERE!

Sleezy D. – "I've Lost Control" (Trax Records – TX113) 1986

They didn't waste much time on cover artwork at Trax records did they? Then again why should they?

I suspect that these things were regarded as something disposable and functional. 

Like the UK DIY cassette scene,which this blog was supposed to be originally about.

Cassettes were usually disposed of after listening, or taped over by a bedroom Synth duo and resold.Making them ultra rare bits of kit.

Can't do that with vinyl I guess ,but generally these 33rpm 12" ep's were played continuously for a short run and usurped by the newest TR303/909 symphony, which could be churned out en masse every week.Tossed aside and the latest knob twiddled Acid spun for the kids at the weekend. Having said that early versions of Phuture's Acid Trax were played off of cassettes were they not?

This stuff was obviously never going to Chart, so these disc's were stuck at the back of the DJ's record bag, until rediscovers for Old Skool nights in the 90's

A Sleezy .D anthem about coming up on Ecstasy, which suited Madchester at The Hacienda in 1988,whose owners dated back to the doom rock of Joy Division, who crooned about "She's Lost Control";but now it became more inwardly looking,dancing like a nut job in their own personal space rather caring about anyone else, luvved up on 'E's, back when losing control was a thing to be celebrated......we know better now,if only we could remember our own names?

Tracklist:

Space Side:
A I've Lost Control 11:37
House Side:
B I've Lost Control (House Side) 9:45

DOWNLOAD under control HERE!

Charanjit Singh – "Synthesizing - Ten Ragas To A Disco Beat" (His Master's Voice – ECSD. 2912) 1982

Groan!.Here we go again......Who's invented Acid House this time?

Ay Up, its a bloke from India of course,who in the process of modernising the instrumentation of some classical Indian Raga's, and bunging a TR 808 and an Acid in a box TB303 in there amongst his tinkling fingers, he accidently came up with something that sounded a bit like........yep......Acid House?

He had as little idea about Acid House as Frankie Knuckles had about Indian Raga's. But Acid disco leaked out of every infected sphincter, a sound that is very difficult to avoid as soon as you switch a 303 on. Charanjit doesn't actually do much,if any, of the famed Knob-Twiddling stuff,the very thing that distinguished yer Acid House from yer actual House and yer actual Disco in the first place. As it says on the tin,it is very much Synthesizing Ten Raga's to a Disco Beat,which to western ears sounds like the electronic Disco music that started to emerge in 1985 in a Chicago-ized parallel universe. 

So, when a crate digging Dutch D.J. found a copy of this and played it,he obviously concluded instantly that he'd found the missing link of  House music, which is basically the "Disco" that Charanjit Singh did actually know about.

It sounds more like a speeded up version of Gottshing's E2-E4 to these tired ears.

And there's no knob twiddling,so it ain't Acid is it?

It sold fuck all copies in India, and now goes for as much as US$11,000 to some tiny minded idiots who are probably mentally ill.

The same price,incidentally as a 2026 World Cup Final Ticket!...yes that stupid!?

They can give me Eleven Grand if they want for the digital download,or for watching the cup final on TV, but for normal people out there,this daft two plus Two equals 5 logic is pushing things a tad too far.On here everything is FREE.

Tracklist:

A1 Raga: Bhairavi
A2 Raga: Lalit
A3 Raga: Bhupali
A4 Raga: Todi
A5 Raga: Madhuvanti
B1 Raga: Meghmalhar
B2 Raga: Yaman
B3 Raga: Kalavati
B4 Raga: Malkauns
B5 Raga: Bairagi

DOWNLOAD the Taj Mahal of Acid House HERE!

Mr. Fingers – "Washing Machine / Can You Feel It / Beyond The Clouds (Trax Records – TX127) 1986

 

Under the guise of Mr Fingers,aka Larry Heard,the inventor of House music,one can certainly feel the transition from Disco to House to Acid House occurring before our very ears.The difference between standard House and Acid House being,a bit of knob twiddling,and some rubbish electronics rescued from the orphanage of Electronica.

Its hard to imagine now, but these tunes,especially "Can You Feel It" entered many a young persons Brain like a parasite, and seemed to infect everyone who heard, or Misheard it.Partly because it sounded like NOTHING else on earth at the time.

I don't normally approve of such linguistic aberrations as Important,or Seminal to ever leave my magical fingers, but.....This really is one of the most important records in the history of 20th century music......probably!?
I Larry Heard someone say that somewhere, and thought maybe it was a fact.Sitting on my arrogant perch in 1986,looking down on it all with a Billy Idol sneer; i would never have uttered such a superlative ever, especially for what I would have considered silly Disco music......but maybe it is?.....Innit?

This was all created in the post warehouse clubs of clubland,and the fact that all these places are in severe financial woe, and Gen Z ain't interested,means that stuff with this impact will never be created ever again.The time is nigh kids, for the new Acid House Revival to kick ass in the green belt of the UK,so dust off your smiley emoji's and get those Cows dancing again on lab tested Ecstasy,leeching it into the milk cartons of the Elysian Fields of all Phuture dancing idiots the world over. 

Tracklist:

A1 Washing Machine 4:24
A2 Can You Feel It 5:45
B Beyond The Clouds 7:55

DOWNLOAD until you can feel it HERE!

Manuel Göttsching – "E2-E4" (Inteam GmbH – ID 20.004) 1984

Look backwards from any point in time up to 1970,and some clever dick will always find a long lost Krautrock classic waiting to be hauled up the flag poll as the inventor of any number of Influential,Seminal, or any amount of flattering  superlatives applied to heavily lauded albums such as this,which obviously was Trance before Trance.

Then again, sift backwards trough the marshlands of Kraut,and we can find tracks like the nine adorning this, on most of those Gate-folded Kosmische classics, like Klaus Schulz, Tangerine Dream, ,and various Ex-members of Tangerine Dream, like Klaus Schulz. In fact TD  could and should also be extremely guilty for thousands of British Ravers idiot dancing the week away in some obscure Cow field in Essex,near an exit off the M25 (aka The Magic Roundabout), back in 1988 before the UK Government made it highly illegal. What the Cows did during this process is a mystery, but there was a rumour that a Frisian and an Aberdeen Angus were seen dancing to the moozic, E'd Up, in front of the DJ on one occasion at least .

The difference between Manuel Göttsching and Edgar Froese is that Manuel had a drum machine, and Eddie didn't. Therefore  Göttsching Göt the prize....he,by logical elimination, was guilty of being Trance before Trance.Whether that's anything to brag about is another matter altogether. 

Tracklist:

1.Ruhige Nervosität 13:00
2.Gemäßigter Aufbruch 10:00
3....Und Mittelspiel 7:00
4.Ansatz 1:00
5.Damen-Eleganza 5:00
6.Ehrenvoller Kampf 3:00
7.Hoheit Weicht (Nicht Ohne Schwung...) 9:00
8....Und Souveränität 3:00
9.Remis 3:00

DOWNLOAD this opening gambit for chess and house music HERE!

Phuture – "We Are Phuture" - (Trax Records – TX165) 1988

Well, these Acid House pioneers didn't get where they are today through sleeve art alone,or lack of there in, but, for a brief moment they were certainly the Phuture of the Future and their questionable legacy seems to live beyond eternity.Out-living the clubs which are closing down at variable and increasing rates.

Surveys show that persons over 65 were far more likely to go out partying than Gen Z, who stay indoors, with a handful of chums a PS4 and a board game. They are deaf to music,blind to booze and drugs and sex, and think that being an AI'ed Hollywood star is an attainable dream,where no work is actually required to get there.

We parent types have fucked up another generation of entitled kids.

This was the Phuture ,however Dystopian,but it's out there, NOW.Waiting to fuck you up.

Basically We ARE all Fucked!

My 'good' advice to Gen Zed, is embrace the drugs,cigarettes and alcohol before its already too late, and have some illicit fun for once in your sad and dismal existences FFS!
Tracklist:

A We Are Phuture 8:38
B1 Slam 5:40
B2 Spank-Spank 4:58

DOWNLOAD back to the phuture HERE!

Various Artists– "Street Sounds-Electro 10" (Street Sounds – ELCST 10) 1985

Did I say Don't Mention The WAR!??

Is this record a warning from History, or did a Hip Hop Nostradamus write these dope lyrics?

"Star Raid" is an obvious reference to ballistic missiles passing through Space in a sub earth orbit raining down on Europe's civilian Infrastructure.....its all so clear to me now.

OMG! aka Oh.My.Allan, we're all gonna DIE.....AGAIN!?

Of course, Allan's radical Hip-Hop Cleric Brother from another mother ,has no father,has no Halo in a coat of many colours. The parthenagenecally created Divine D.J. Born Supreme Allah, is destined to be the Iranian lead monkey to actually press the GO! button that carries all that notorious,hiding, WMD-grade 60% pure Uranium sellotaped to the back of one of those imaginary long range missiles aimed at Diego Garcia, destroying 25% of the US Fleet in the process, and causing enough Fall-Out to bleach the Maldives clean of all foreign interference....for good!

After all,original prophecy-boy himself,D.J. Nostradamus, predicted a 7 month War in the Middle East.....can't see that happening can you?.....then comes the predictions greatest HIT,Rivers of Blood....pull the other one Nosher.....and then....Oh No!..a swarm of Bees....which is an obvious reference to the Drones.....no not the bandwagon jumping Punk group 'The Drones' from Manchester,UK, '77;...i'm talking weaponized Drones here, the ones that have been pummeling everyone east of the Mason-Dixon line, or Poland, since the start of the Ukraine war.

This is all a Proven FACT!......ask Donald Trump, He's known all this since way back before The Trump University started taking students money.

Well, it's gonna Kick Off innit.....OUCH! there goes my bone spurs again!

You better start Praying to his holiness the godlike'D.J. Born Supreme Allah' NOW!....or you will miss out on that coveted Martyrs death and, more importantly those 72 Virgins a martyr entering the kingdom of a christian free Heaven will receive. What happens to those innocent Lady-creatures I dread to imagine.....but Wait a minute!!!!?... aren't Virgins as shit in Bed as you are boys????

Come kindly nukes and rain down death and misery on the Oval Office.

Tracklist:

A1 Tricky Tee– Johnny The Fox
A2 Roxanne Shanté– Bite This
A3 The Dynamic Duo - Ft Knights Of The Turntables
A4 19th Fleet– Star Raid
B1 Run-D.M.C.– Together Forever
B2 M.C. Craig "G"– Transformer
B3 D.J. Born Supreme Allah– Two, Three, Break
B4 Freestyle– Don't Stop The Rock

DOWNLOAD! for the tenth time I said DOWNLOAD!....HERE!

Phuture – "Acid Tracks" (Trax Records – TX142) 1987

Was this repetitively bleepy knob twiddling four to the floor thumper really the year zero for Acid House? Or was it that it was Accidently created by three knob twiddlers from Chicago with silly names,including Spanky, DJ Pierre, and Herbert Herb Jackson?....who all worked for the music department in the CIA to rob the yooth of their minds(obviously NOT True....I think?)

Legend has it that Spanky,discovered the now classic Acid machine,the Roland TB303 Bassline,collecting dust in the corner of the office. A swift dusting off occurred and Spank hooked it up to the sequencer,and ...you guessed it....twiddled some knobs, resulting in lots of very strange squelchy noises that everyone else had rejected.They had bought one to exploit its claim that it could replace any Bassline you could imagine,which, of course it couldn't...It made squelchy noises;but to the correct Ear,this sound was something brand 'spanky' new,resulting in anyone who heard it to start dancing like a fucking idiot immediately......oh yeah,..I mean,dancing like an idiot as long as they consumed the obligatory sister drug MDMA. Basically,one would dance to anything if one dropped some Ecstasy or 'E' to amplify your tapping feet into a state of pure liquid chaos.
Phuture's debut track "Acid Tracks" caused havoc on dance floors in Chicago when it was originally released in 1986. It then went on to ignite a hells storm of questionable behaviour in farmers fields all around the M25 London Orbital in Great Britain, known as The Magic Roundabout.This was the start of Rave Culture,and the phenomenon was even debated in the UK Parliament on how to control it,as it was getting rather out of hand.

Acid Tracks was officially released on Trax Records in 1987. This track went onto spread around the world many times over and forty years later it,and its many imitators still plague the minds of children across the planet, and an epidemic of memory loss and depression blighted the E-Generation to their graves.

Acid Tracklisting:

A1 Acid Tracks 12:26

B1 Phuture Jacks 7:46
B2 Your Only Friend 4:53

DOWNLOAD the phuture from the past HERE!

Various Artists - "Street Sounds - Electro 9" ( ELCST 9) 1985

Like hunter gatherers these Crate Diggers scoured the used records section of junk stalls,and thrift stores looking for new breaks from the forgotten failures of the recent past.As if searching for fresh meat beneath the rotting vegetables of a throw away society.

Most junk vinyl has at least one nanosecond of interesting noise to repurpose. And back in the halcyon days before E-fucking-Bay ,sickeningly sussed 'vintage' vinyl peddlers, and fucking Discogs! All this stuff is no longer refreshingly cheap!? One Jazzy album,any Jazzy album,now goes for the price of a Roland TB303. 

Some of these sought after breaks often found themselves bought, or destroyed en masse by 'top' Rap acts and their management (the CIA) if only to stop their rivals getting to them first 

The 'Tech' gear of the early eighties is another accidentally timeless factor in the creation of this nu genre, whom some would suspect was the new Kontrol music created by the security services of the planet. Lets face it, all the Top Rap acts were and are got at by Ep-stain , filmed in flagrente-delicto with a 13 year old girl,which is highly illegal.....like Putin has on Trump, including the Pee-Pee party, where he was pissed on by a Putin supplied sex worker. This is what P-Diddy was doing too by the way.......its all proved...honest.

Well, this early generation of the Hip-Hop epoch, didn't rely on basing their childish rhymes on top of an obvious sample to carry the tune,they spent their spare time emptying the junk shops of rejected solid state Tech that White Guys didn't want, and made it work. The DMX, TR808,third hand Technics turntables and the aforementioned uber squelchy Roland Bassline. Simple but effective,and it made the Kids dance.......bloody Kids!!!

Tracklist:

1 Doug E. Fresh & Get the Fresh Crew– The Show
2 Bad Boys– Bad Boys Ft K-Love
3 D.St.– The Home Of Hip Hop
4 Kid Frost– Terminator
5 World Class Wreckin' Cru– World Class
6 Mantronix– Needle To The Groove
7 Fat Boys– The Fat Boys Are Back
8 Rock Master Scott & The Dynamic Three– The Roof Is On Fire

DOWNLOAD to avoid another invite to a p-diddy pee pee party HERE!

The Computer People Communicaters (CPC) – "Talking And Scratching (For The People)" -(Electric Land Records – EL 1007) 1983

DON'T MENTION THE WAR!.....I mentioned it about a thousand times but I think I got away with it!?)

Back in the good olde bad olde days ,like last week, America used to be a luminous toothed smiley bunch of friendly fun-lovin'liberal fans of freedom.Two Hundred and Fifty years of independence from the Motherland (Great Britain)later ,The failure to make America Great Again has bred a few million racially motivated Religious Nationalists,determined to empty their continent of anyone not wearing the national costume of Baseball Cap, plaid shirt,and fat over-hanging guts to hide the disintegrating waistline of their Jeans.

They used to make music just like "Talking and Scratching" back then, when brown people were welcome to fill any vacancy that was available on the Job market to lay the foundations of an Economy a nation could be built on. Instead of that,the USA are roundly hated worldwide.

This fine bastion of Democracy then proceeded to somehow elect the most inept, stoopid piece of shit that ever stalked the steps of the Capitol.....and thats saying something.

This FIFA peace medal winner and Rapist, then decided that a War backing up its equally genocidal  allies, the lovely Israel, would be a great Idea to solve all its problems.Especially when it comes to some million sheets of paper containing details implicating a certain President who literally shits his pants regularly,for real,in Human trafficking and child sex-abuse among other misdemeanors.

Along with its Rap-ist chums like P-Diddy,who sits in jail waiting for a friend to join him.....its coming soon.Even its own Supreme court has announced he has no immunity from prosecution whilst still in office. This guy is in Office!!!!?????

So if you wanna stay out of the new North American gulags,and listen to this fine early example of scratching...then follow the instructions below:

And lastly play these early Hip-Hop classics to remind oneself there was a time when people ❤ America. Now I have a Tea mug with USA=SHIT written on it.

...and don't forget....

DON'T MENTION THE EPSTEIN FILES.....I mentioned them once,but I think they could get away with it!....

...I Think I just heard ICE banging on my door demanding to check my internet history....i'll see you in prison,or Hell...which ever comes first.

Tracklist:A  Talking And Scratching (For The People) (Vocal)4:38
B  Talking And Scratching (For The People) (Instrumental) 4:25

DOWNLOAD Stop scratching your balls and get down HERE!

The Computer People Communicators – "Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic)" Electric Land Records 1982

 

The lifeless oceans of the pre-cambrian period, surrounding the one solitary super continent of Pangaea.Devoid of anything but insects,and simple plant-life, the seeds of something greater flew on the desert winds,which led to an early version of 'us'.Something even more basic than today and mamalian. Something that mis-evolved in to something quite terrifying, basic, and unevolved.....you know what this is,and I admit I promised to stop referring to it in these pages.....thats right.....The malodorous lesser spotted naked pernicious Trump-oid, which later split from an infected part of his orange ass and became a fully functional Baboon's ass.Which exists,and functions only too efficiently to this very day.Splattering its shite,poly-directionally left,right and Radical Left,and left again.

This very early Pangaeal Hip-Hop , by The Computer People Communicators,is a very early seed from a time before affordable drum machines, and germinated in the primordial ocean,spreading like a cancer in our souls, to form a modern Rap Cretaceous period where the reptiles started to take over, and sub-species like Jay Zee and Kanye West started to breed like Rappers.I hate to say anything is entirely  utter shite (well, I don't actually), but the preceding 30 years of this nonsense truly Is indeed utter shite.Somehow they survived the Asteroid Inpact in the Gulf of America (???), a lost part of Hip-Hop Pangea, populated by compulsively Lying Orang-utans, and misogynistic Rap-Dodo's,where during the mating season, have sub-intelligent large arsed females throwing themselves at their feet to receive the sacred seed for another generation of fools to be born and ignored.

We'll ignore Rap's Jurassic period,as ,unlike Steven Spielberg,we realised that most of the creatures who inhabit that CGI hell, 95% of them were infact from the preceding Cretaceous period.Therefore the movie version should have been called, more accurately, "Cretaceous Park",and not, Jurassic Park...those silly billies.

Anyway, this early computerized Funky seed, spread by someone called Gene "Poo Poo" Anderson (I'm not making this up!),is good stuff, but has an awful lot to answer for! Especially as a precursor to the fetid scent of the Poo-Poo that was to come.

Tracklist:

Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic) (Part 1) 8:45
Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic) (Part 2) 5:24

DOWNLOAD this analogical comparison between Hip-hop and other beasts HERE!

Just-Ice – "Back To The Old School"(Fresh Records – LPRE-1) 1986

Okay!I like the cover of this misogynistic Old School Gangsta shiesterwerk. ......that just about sums it all up. You know what its gonna sound like,and I'm straining at the leash to make any quips concerning the word "ICE". That being the American acronym  equivalent of Ernst Rhome's storm-trooper Brownshirts.

If you're watching this from the Future please don't make me explain,....we're actually living in this nightmare, do your facebook research, USA 2026.

However like Ernst Rhome,,the current bright orange object we call president Donald J. Trump, likes it up the arse apparently...according to his sister that is......but lying doesn't run in the family does it? (Uhum)

His child abuse years(fucked mercilessly by his dad),certainly brought out the rapist in him,and he definitively has the wit of a Rapist...this is because he IS a Rapist,..as proven in a court of law.

Please Future person,it may seem hilarious to you, but it ain't funny,I'll tell ya that!

Yup, an unstable malignant narcissist  controls the most powerful army in the world,and has his stumpy pink fingers drooling on the Nuclear button....which, if pressed,will result in the loss of any one here from the future before they were born!.....Yeah Who's laughing Now!?..huh?...in the meantime,pop back into the past and put a fiver on Leicester City to win the Premier League Title in 2016, at 5000/1 which was larger odds than the existence of the Loch Ness Monster!...i'll be around to collect tomorrow.

Tracklist:

1 Cold Gettin' Dumb 4:30
2 Love Story 4:52
3 Back To The Old School 4:48
4 Latoya 4:10
5 Gangster Of Hip Hop 5:06
6 Little Bad Johnny 3:28
7 Put The Record Back On 3:51
8 Turbo Charged 5:08

9 Cold Gettin' Dumb II 6:33 10 That Girl Is A Slut 5:16

DOWNLOAD and get back to school HERE!

Various Artists – "Street Sounds Electro 8"(Street Sounds – ELCST 8) 1985

Don't have much to say about this one, which includes slagging it off, so by elimination this must be a good one?......right?

It's,if anything, a bit Disco-Lite and his slaggo-lettes, with most of the tracks displaying a preposterous preponderance for old school Rapping, lashings of vocoder abuse,early sampler misuse,vinyll-ill treatment and DMX maltreatment with some inappropriate gated digital reverb.

It is certainly of its time,which is why we like it innit?

Tracklist:

A1 Sparky D Vs. The Playgirls– The Battle
A2 Davy DMX– The DMX Will Rock (Rap Mix)
A3 Aleem– Confusion
A4 D.E.F. & D.J. Three D – D.E.F. Momentum
B1 Marley Marl– Marley Marl Scratch
B2 The B Boys– Girls
B3 Papa Austin +The Great Peso– Wrong Girls To Play With (Dub)
B4 N.Y.C. Cutter– D.J. Cuttin

DOWNLOAD keepin' it alive since 1985 HERE!

Various Artists – "Street Sounds Electro 7" (Street Sounds – ELCST 7) 1985

Post Elvis,1985 was once looked upon as the official worst year of music evah! Live Aid happened,and the possibilities of world corporate mass control of young peoples personal taste became very real.....meanwhile on the streets of the five boroughs no-one had heard of "We are the World" by the bloated morons of superstars immodest bleatings about saving poor African children like the Gods they thought they were.None of them thought about trying to save the poor american children from Never Land,and a glass or two of 'Jesus Juice'.

Wacko Jacko did,after all, receive the child-like lyrics channeled from God almighty himself, after a suggestion from his Holiness  Lionel Ritchie of course.Well, God can't be good at everything can he?

The Uk's charity single's words weren't much better....so "Tonight Thank God it's Them Instead Of You"...oozed Bozo...i mean Bono.You couldn't make that up!

Now, what the kids on the city street were actually doing,without interference from any Gods, Mortal or otherwise, was filling their empty lives and empty bellies dancing in dat new Breakdancin' stylee.To an abstract version of Kraftwerk and other European synth-pop acts,weaved in with all those Japanese electronic toys that no-one wanted.

No need for Gods, or Poop stars, who feel it worthy of themselves to save us all from ourselves.

"Its a choice we're making, we're saving our own lives!?".....it's all Me Me Me innit? The malignant narcissists of the poop charts; want us poor people to donate to other starving poor people while the brutal dictators of the targeted desert areas of famine, spend it all on new weapons to recruit those very same African children into the Peoples Army.All this goodness, while Lionel and Michael allow us to bathe in their magnanimous and Holy light.

 

Tracklist:

A1 Egyptian Lover - Girls (remix Long Version)
A2 The Unknown DJ– 808 Beats (Club Mix)
A3 Knights Of The Turntables– Fresh Mess (Jam ... Your Radio)
B1 Roxanne Shanté– Queen Of Rox (Shantë Rox On) (Street Version)
B2 The Fearless Four– Dedication
B3 Chris "The Glove" Taylor– Itchiban Scratch
B4 The B-Boys– Stick Up Kid

DOWNLOAD and thank god its them instead of you HERE!

Jr. And His Soulettes – "Psychodelic Sounds" (HMM Records – SH 954-955) 1971

I can only assume that the misspelling is deliberate, otherwise it translates as the sounds of serial killers on drugs.....which is not a bad Band name.....not quite as good as "Drunks with Guns",but that one's taken.

So we've heard Angela the 6 year Old Rapper (aka Talking over a back beat"? Now we got 10 year old Howard M.Moore Jr showing off and captured on self-released vinyl.Backed up by his sisters (The Soulettes)aged 6,7 and 9 years old respectively.

They've obviously been watching the progress of the Jacksons; hopefully minus the abusive parent.Which I'm sad to say was a essential ingredient that created the King of Peado-Pop Wacko Jacko itself.

Junior owes a lot to his sisters one has to say, but he's the oldest so he gets to play Dad's Electric Guitar such are the unwritten patriarchal rules that have suppressed the fairer sex since physics shat out the 4th dimension of Time.

If there was a Talent show anywhere near by, they would have cleaned up.Everybody in the general Public loves a smarmy kid showing off,but whom are actually, very Crap.I'm still haunted by 10 year old Lena Zavoroni on Opportunity Knocks (UK) for 13 consecutive weeks,screeching her way through "Mama He's Making Eyes At Me"(1974),at bullet-proof glass shattering volume. With a song choice that sounds rather inappropriate to these 21st century ears!?...sadly she rapidly developed Anorexia , and died. At least she avoided Jeff Epstein and Donald Trump,who probably wanked his little malodorous mushroom silly watching this clip(link above). 

Exposure to celebrities, or even worse, the 'Public',before 18 should be made illegal.....the bastards!......Fucking Cunting Bastard TWATS!!!

Here's Lena's Radiohead meets Las Vegas Moment:

Check out her PAIN not my pain HERE!

Tracklist:

A1 Thing, Do The Creep
A2 Momma, Love Tequilla
A3 Pimp
A4 Waw-Waw Rock
A5 Love From Above
A6 Flip Will
A7 Do Your Funky Thing
B1 Slow
B2 Sweet Little One
B3 Kewetha
B4 Kat-Walk
B5 Rock 'N Roll Santa
B6 Rock Blues
B7 Pop Junior Pop

DOWNLOAD to wish all child abusing celebrity fuckers a slow death HERE!

Angela Simpson– "Angela" (Spectrum Records – SPEC 5001) 1971

Hey...let's take a short break from Electro Compilations and stray onto the controversial turf of who was the first Rapper person?

Not quite Old School, more like Pre-School Rap, where six year old Angela Simpson out does Roxanne by 8 years to be the youngest Rapper on the block. 

This ain't no Rap I hear you cry,even though there's a track actually called 'Rapping' .....so stuff that in yer pipe and smoke it. Proto-Rap is the category I've crowbared this into.

Who invented 'Rap'anyway? The word is certainly Afro-american, but Ian Dury was a crippled Cockney white-man,and John Cooper Clarke was similar,but Mancunians both, appearing a couple of years before The Sugarhill Gang, and Issac Hayes did some Rap's on the "Black Moses" LP,although they were more of a croon than Rap as we know it. The Last Poets get the prize for inventing Hip-Hop culture,them and Gil Scott Heron I reckon? Big Youth, Prince Far-I, Mark E. Smith....Hell..I dunno what I'm rapping on about really,but I have noticed that it usually takes several individuals to come up with the necessary pieces of the Jigsaw Dunnit!?.....personally....and NO! it wasn't Debbie Harry either!

Anyhow,there's one person who definitely didn't come up with Rap music, and that's Angela Simpson, I'll tell yer That!

Tracklist: 

A1 Angela Simpson– Give The Children A Chance 0:55
A2 Angela Simpson– Little Children Pt. I 2:45
A3 Angela Simpson– Little Children Pt. II 2:45
A4 Angela Simpson– Lenox Ave. 3:15
A5 R. Brown– I Just Want To Be 3:42
B1 Angela Simpson– Rapping 5:00
B2 Angela Simpson– Love Thy Neighbor 4:00
B3 Lily Fields– M-L-K 6:45
B4 R. Brown– Bellwoods Trinity Park 3:12

DOWNLOAD to find out how blondie invented rapping HERE!

Various Artists– "Street Sounds Electro 6" (Street Sounds – ELCST 6) 1984

 

"The Roxanne Wars", as these call and response rap songs on side one are known as,featuring a 14 year old Female old school Rapper called....you guessed it "Roxanne".She took it on herself to challenge UTFO's hit tune "Roxanne, Roxanne".Of which there were over one hundred response Raps by Herself and various pseudonymous artists.Likely to avoid the authorities causing problems over Roxannes's tender age.Almost a concept albums worth of fem-rap featuring a teenage rapper trying her best to avoid sounding like a kid on Sesame Street doing a rap about the number 'Nine' and the letter 'A'......something I think would enjoy almost as much as her cutesy battles with UTFO.

This one's one of the better releases in the 'Electro' series.

The Rapping doesn't get on yer Titz, plenty vocoder, Human Beat Boxing ,Scratching, gated Reverb, and even some early Bleep-core deep in the mix.

"All the Freaks come out at night" says Whodini......except Roxanne who was too old anyway for Trump,to protect her from Geoffrey Epstein......if you're reading this years later, Epstein was a human trafficker who supplied young ladies for the Rich,Stupid and Powerful,which brought down the Trump administration when some formerly redacted files were found to have photographs of President Trump in Inflagrante delicto with several teenage girls...not Roxanne I'm pleased to say(I Hope anyway!),....and one young boy,who,who was clearly being sodomised by the Orange Monster himself.....cus that's what his Daddy ,Freddie, did to him when he was a little innocent Moron.....as alleged by Donald's Sister Mary Trump.......it's true of course. 

Tracklist:

1. UTFO–Roxanne, Roxanne
2.The Real Roxanne With UTFO–The Real Roxanne
3.Capt. Rock– Cosmic Blast
4.Roxanne Shanté– Roxanne's Revenge
5.Whodini– Freaks Come Out At Night
6.Egyptian Lover– My House (On The Nile)
7.Bobby Broom– Beat Freak
8.Dougé Fresh– Just Having Fun (Do The Beat Box)
9.Dougy Fresh– The Original Human Beat Box

DOWNLOAD for roxanne's green light HERE!

Various Artists – "Street Sounds Electro 5" (Street Sounds – ELCST 5)1984)

Unfortunately ,there's too much of that 'old Skool' rapping that sounds like a Caucasian office worker getting down with the groove at the office Christmas Party, not unlike David Brent doing some street dance for charity in The Office...original version. Fusing Flashdance with MC Hammer Shit yeah? (David Brents words not mine!)

But at least its quaint and not the kind of hate speech that passes for Rap during the last three decades.

There be a half decent Arthur Baker tchoon,that's fitting for a former New Order collaborator,it just lack's a Peter Hook.

We also got some proto-turntablism from the Knights of the Turntables for your Dad to shape some breaks to.

Some nonsense from Capt Rock's bordering on Novelty Track status,with more of that Office Party style Rapping again.

Ending with the best track on the whole disk, "B Boys Breakdance" by The High Fidelity Three.

Tracklist:1.Great Peso & Mr. Nasty– It's Time To Rock
2.Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde– Fast Life
3.Knights Of The Turntables– Techno Scratch
4.The Egyptian Lover – Egypt Egypt
5.Arthur Baker– Breakers Revenge
6.Captain Rock– Capt. Rock To The Future Shock
7.Aleem– Release Yourself
8.Fantasy Three– The Buck Stops Here
9.High Fidelity Three– B Boys Breakdance

DOWNLOAD some flashdance and MC Hammer shit HERE!