Burka Band – "Burka Blue" (Ata Tak – WR 90) 2004

PHWOOR! What's under those Burka's ladz?

I could say a trio of bank Robbers,but no-one in a Burka is allowed anywhere near a Bank these days.....y'know.Banks, those empty places with no humans inside,just machines sealed behind security glass, rather like the radiation-filled reactor room when Spock tries to repair the ship's warp drive and save the USS Enterprise In The Wrath Of Kahn(also a muslim). 

Before he dies, he shares an emotional farewell to James T Kirk, rather like us and our money.

I've often thought of holding up a Brinks Mat armored van wearing a Burka for disguise......maybe with a camouflaged pattern rather than a blue one.

However I've not completely dismissed this idea,but it could resurface when I reach retirement age,whenever that is. Somewhat Like the Government, Securicor Cares as they said in that charming Crass Tune.

Yeah, succeed and i'm rich,fail and i get free accommodation,health care,and three meals a day,for the rest of my life.A popular route to take in Japan I'm informed. 

YES, there existed an all female synth pop in Kabul around the turn of the last century......not something that is common these days i regret to say.Music being illegal an' all. The morality Police are not too tolerant of any disrespect to the Burka,and any young lady heard singing will receive a sound beating......unless they are Rapping,then they would deserve a thorough thrashing, and possibly a date with the stoning mob....soon to appear in the USA after an absence of 70 years or so!?....oh sorry, that was a Firing Squad.Soon all women in the USA will be forced to wear Burkas when the American Taliban take over after a 'democratic' vote. 

Tracklist:

1 Burka Blue (Original) 3:08
2 No Burka ! (Original) 3:33
3 Barbara Morgenstern– Burka Blue (Remix)
Remix – Barbara Morgenstern 3:13
4 A Certain Frank– No Burka ! (Remix)
Remix – A Certain Frank 5:57

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Ahmad Zahir – "Volume 2: Afghan 70s Psychedelic Folk-Pop" (Guerssen – GUESS093) 2012

 

Ahmad Zahir, the Afghan johnny Haliday(?),was rocking it, Afghan style, from early in the 70's and probably continued around hipsville Kabul well after the Soviet Invasion of 1980. Rumor has it that Osama Bin Liner was a big fan. Doubtless a big hit at those wild Mujaheddin parties in the Bora Bora caves using that Hi-Fi as donated by the CIA, along with all that American ordinance that defeated The Soviets (y'know Jeans and Beatles records), and financed Al Qaeda at the same time. Including, I am told, a merch stall that included Ahmad Tie-Dye Burka's with Ahmad's name emblazoned on the front.......I Want One!

Dunno about this compilation being Psychedelic -Folk-pop, however? Sounds very  folky,but is lacking that certain fried LSD vibe with red zone shimmering tape delay effects that sounds not unlike an overdriven Mellotron in places.

Those platter spinning gen-x DJ's could find 'Psyche-Pop' classix in the dung of a Turkmenistani mountain goat and release this groovy shit on an unsuspecting record buying public well before tea-time,shrove Tuesday 2027.

No doubt Peter Gabriel and David Byrne bought up all the copies immediately(can't find Vol.1 anywhere) so they could plagarise at their leisure, and teach that Paul Simon chap a stiff Lesson or two.

Zahir's career was probably brought to an abrupt end under the Taliban after their flagship policy of Banning Music was enforced, somewhat Harshly, by the Morality Police......in fact I googled it and it turns out the Elvis Of Afghanistan, as he was called...(not Johnny Halliday) met an untimely death even before the Soviets arrived, as he was assassinated by unknown gunman(Lee Harvey Oswald's smarter brother) from the top of a mountainous book depository on 14 June 1979,his 33rd birthday!?

Apparently he didn't get on with the Marxist Government, who denied any involvement. The Commie newspapers reported his death was a car accident....not very original,but necessary when there are no balconies available.

Tracklist:

A1 Agar Ze Khaliq Malaamat (Featuring Hangama) 6:52
A2 Ahange Zindegi 5:17
A3 Az Dozdida Chashm Az Ahoo 3:46
B1 Az Nazo Che Maykhande 5:03
B2 Baduhait Konam 4:34
B3 Begzar Begreyan 9:24
C1 Begzaro Ta Begeeryam 4:05
C2 Behooda Am 4:55
C3 Beya Borim Ba Sangeran 7:28
D1 Che Khoosh Amadi Safaa Kardi 5:29
D2 Dil Ze Sowda 4:28
D3 Awship Shudee Aye Dil 8:08

DOWNLOAD to your soundproof Burka HERE!

Various Artists - "A Musical Anthology Of The Orient - Afghanistan" (Bärenreiter-Musicaphon) 1968

No i'm not turning into a Middle Class Bourgeois Prat! I'm a working class Plebeian Bourgeois Prat with too much spare time on his hands. Nor do I think I'm Peter Gabriel , who is 99% certain that he invented World Music single-handedly, seasoned with lashings of English public school Empire guilt. An empire run by persons that most Progressive Rockers' called their grand parents ......Phil Collins excluded of course.

There were rivals for the coveted crown of "white man gets funky with the munkey music",such as David Byrne, Eno, Jah Wobble and Can, of course,but most of them entertained at least some degree of humility....unlike the king of the 80's ethno-theft Mafia.....Paul Simon, who should be, quite frankly, shot at dawn by an AI assassination-bot,but only after draining Simon's mind of Data and deleting it, forever! This all dies with him.

The point is, that there was a thriving DIY culture going down long before the Buzzcocks and Desperate Bicycles, and what better way to illustrate this fact than to present a nice bourgeois coffee table compilation of Afghani Folk from ....well....Afghanistan......the only place on earth where it is currently Illegal to play, listen to or even think about Music.......basically Music is banned in Taliban controlled Afghanistan.

Maybe, if they can get their heads around the concept that Sex has to be consentual, we could invite the bovver boys of the Taliban to be special advisors on 'music' here in the smug as fuck West? Then we can clamp down on the endlessly repeating shitstorm of Hip-Hop, and other aural terrorists blighting the grossly over-populated concentration camps of Spotify, Bandcamp, and that other one......one of the mullah's better idea's I volunteer. 

Just revive the Stasi and the DDR , in conjunction with the Taliban, to enforce harsh climate saving laws, and we may all stand a fighting chance for our grandchildren to witness the revival of the planet by the time the 22nd century comes about. We did it to Ourselves, we did......there you go...DIY again!?  Frankly..... 

There's too many Humans, too much choice, and too many humans again......am i repeating myself?...let 'em burn!

That said,This compilation was released in 1968 ,when Sophisticated Afghani's in Kabul,would have been digging The Move,and other paisley endowed Psych pop combo's, clad ,ironically, in Afghan Coats.....which, I'm not sure were actually from Afghanistan at all?

Meanwhile,out in Hicksville, between the Bora Bora caves and the Desert,the ,allegedly,less-sophisticated local Tribesmen made their own music.It wasn't illegal back in '68. The large majority of it sounding not entirely unlike The Velvet Underground;just lacking Nico in a full face Burka.It was 1968 after all?

She'd like it in Afghanistan, with all that Heroin and stuff available at wholesale prices.

Ever wondered where Zoviet France got their Tape-Loops from? No, neither did I.....wankers.

Some of these tracks could even pass for an Unused backing track by eighties one-hit wonders Blancmange.....its that crazy......well, not That crazy, but you get what I mean.

The jolly chaps who play on this have probably long been murdered by US special Forces by now, or asphyxiated in the caves by one of George W.Bush's Daisy-cutter bunker buster missiles,killing everyone except Osama Bin Laden in the process......Bin Laden, being a Sophisticated Saudi citizen, who likely tapped his sandals to a Psych-pop freakbeat tune or two when he went out to the Discotheque of an evening.

 

Tracklist:

A1 Song Of Kataran (Turkestan)
A2 Song Of Badarshan
A3 Melody For Flute From Turkestan
A4 Festive Music From Chardi (In The Region Of Kabul)
A5 Chant From Azarejot (Central Afghanistan)
A6 National Afghan Dance (Shah Mast)
A7 Chant From Farkhar
B1 Village Dance Melody Of The Region Of Kabul
B2 Pushtu Quatrain (Charbait)
B3 Ancient Chant Of Kabul
B4 Ancient Chant Of Khodaman
B5 Tumbur (Lute) - Solo
B6 Ghazni Chant
B7 Chorus From The Panshir
B8 Solo Of Sarinda
B9 The DOtar (Small Lute) Of Herat

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