Saturday, 9 April 2022

John Shuttleworth – "The Dolby Decades" (Chic Ken – CHIC KENCD017) 2008

More from the maestro of the Yahama organ including "I Can't Go back To Savoury Now";if that isn't a good enough incentive to get you to download this recording you are probably dead.
However, "I Don't Want To Dance (But You've Got To" is the only tune ever to face up to the White Male'a dilemma of whether to dance and look like the prat you are,or show resolve and decline the opportunity to indulge in this ridiculous pastime,passing itself off as an expression of Joy(?)....what the fuck is there to dance about anyway?...This track has the compliment of having a guest vocal spot by Richard Whitely, of lame afternoon quiz shoe "Countdown" fame, before he died.....he had "One Foot In The Gravy" i guess?...of course referring to John's meditation on the spectre of mortality which goes by the same name on track 16.
Coronation Street gets namechecked again,through "Betty Turpin" who stood behind the bar of the Rovers Return soap opera pub for 42 years,never(well occasionally a few lines) having more than a few words ,such as "yes luvvie"to say,ever!
Could go through it track by track,listing the producers, what keyboard John Played,studio equipment,Beatles influences and shite like that,as if i was writing for Mojo Magazine,but fuck that!
Its fucking good,that's all you lot need to now.....isn't that right Betty?....."Yes Luvvie."


1 Life Is Like A Salad Bar
2 Serial Cereal Eater
3 Three Men In A Van
4 Fish And Chips
5 Unaccompanied Lady
6 Disaffected Youth
7 God's Waiting Room
8 God Bless The Fleece
9 Dandelion And Burdock
10 I Can't Go Back To Savoury Now
11 I Don't Want To Dance (But You've Got To!)
Featuring – Richard Whiteley
12 Blatherwyke
13 Betty Turpin
14 Two Margarines
15 She Lives In Hope
16 One Foot In The Gravy
17 Karen's Tangerine
18 Mutiny Over The Bounty
19 When Suburbia Wakes
20 Scenes From South Yorkshire


Unknown said...

If anyone tried to write songs about salad bars in 2022 they would be cancelled innit guv'ner would you fancy a shag?

Jonny Zchivago said...

I will be forwarding your comment to the relevant authorities....pronto. Expect a knock on your door.

William K said...

They should bring back Bullseye with John Shuttleworth presenting

Jonny Zchivago said...

A noble idea William,but you don't get the class of scum that we used to have.Nowadays they're all tattooed and pierced and think they're singers.We can still laugh at them but that joke isn't funny anymore.

parmalee said...

Funnily, a recent Sunburned Hand of the Man performance (the one in Amsterdam--look it up!) features a line about waiting for the salad bar to open. Then he just goes on and on about jesus throwing a football--seemingly forever. More curious, Sunburned seem to have morphed into a band of old fat guys. When did this happen? SOmetimes I feel like I've been asleep for the past 15 years or so.

Jonny Zchivago said...

Hmmm, Sun Burned hand Of The Man....i saw them in the upstairs room of a Leicester metal Pub in about 2002, the name of which I can't remember...and i used to go there a lot! They were supported by half of Volcano The Bear and that chap from Neutral Milk Hotel doing a live improvisation to some Tom and Jerry cartoons.
I can't remember anything about Sunburned's performance...absolutely nothing!!!?....maybe i was asleep....hopefully not with you!?