Null & Merzbow – "Babilonia" (ZSF Produkt – ZSF 07) 1983

Null made more than a baker's dozen of these noisy collaborations with everyone's number one choice  to leave,casually strewn across the unpolished surface of their gentrified dockland warehouse abode coffee table...."Oh look Rupert,he's got an early  ZSF Cassette,by Merzbow.", one day. i will transfer these to vinyl and sell them to the uber-nouveau-riche for exorbatant fees.....I will call it Urinal- On- Demand.....O,Rupert I can see it now,me and you and S&M gf''s in Berlin,shops,Genesis P-Orridge museums...the Lot!

Of course these classically educated sons of investment bankers investment bankers would have overlooked the fact that it featured the less commercially minded japnoise pioneer, K.K.Null, but these same ...er.....cunts(?),would only realise this once that enthusiastically priced Vinyl Box-set had hit the inter-web.

So get yer ankle length leather coat on,and imagine you are one of these cred-envy fools, who read marvel comics hidden inside copies of W.S.Burroughs' Soft Machine,and act out their Throbbing Gristle Fanboy fantasy's at the expense of dignity.

Again, yer average Noise outing sounds far better on cassette tape than, CD,or even...mmmm yes, Vinyl.It fuzz's the edges,rather like the Atlantic ocean muffled the screams of drowning poor people on the Titanic.I guess it also muffled to sound of the Billionaires who were crushed as their submersible imploded...except i doubt anyone on the Titanic paid half a million quid for the privilege. Its a great leveller is death.

I have, however, yet to hear of anyone playing Merzbow at their funerals.....unless anyone out there knows better?

Whoops!...I just heard that MONTE CAZAZZA has just died!?.....maybe he'll play some Merzbow at his funeral?

Tracklist:

A Iroha
B1 Nihohe
B2 Tochi
B3 Rinuruo

DOWNLOAD inna babilonia HERE!

Null & Fred Frith – "Null & Fred Frith" (Nux Organization – NUX-21) 1991

If you can't get Brian Eno for your cred cornering collaboration,the next best thing is to procure the ,cheaper,talents of one Fred Frith late of everyone's favourite post-prog art-rock combo, Henry Cow.He has a natural oblique strategies gland inside his front Brain,and can play at least one instrument,if desired;so no need for Eno's famed pack of cards to ever leave the draw.....unless David Bowie wanted them of course...what David wants David gets.....or steals.

Frith brings a more subtle approach to the noise,and side A sounds more like yer Free Improvisation kind of Noise, a noise with nuances if you will?

Woah...side B goes unexpectedly subtle,verging on the Eno's ambient period,with its floaty textures and Atmospheric noodlings.

Who needs Eno anyway?

Tracklist:

Side A : 20000V Live (27:43)

Side B : Heavens Breath (15:32)

DOWNLOAD my life after beans on toast HERE!

A.N.P / Null – "Dyspareunia" (Nux Organization – NUX-09) 1985

 

The chap who was in Acid Mothers Temple that Collaborated with K.K.Null in Proto Doom Metal combo, Zeni Geva;then obviously went off somewhere else, leaving K.K.Null,otherwise known as Kazuyuki Kishino (K.K.),to become the Brian Eno of Jap noise,collaborating with anyone who'd have him. Half-Man Half-Biscuit did a song on this bothersome subject, called....er..."Eno Collaboration"; but as of yet,no-one has bothered to write a song called K.K.Null collaboration.

Eno and K.K. have one thing in common at least, in that they can't play any instruments proper-like,leaving the door open for collaborations with persons in between jobs who can play an instrument up to a reasonable level of competence.

Brian,does indeed have one up on K.K. in the concept department,the most famed one being his renaming of quiet electronic Kosmiche Krautrock as "Ambient",and as a result became the face that launched a million bedroom recording projects all over the western world.

Null just sticks to that tried and trusted pattern, at least in Japan,of making a god-awful racket.

This cassette, shared with A.N.P.(Absolut Null Punkt), who he (KK) is also a member of,is a fine example of the formless noise that is so incredibly popular in Japan and various PVC clad knob-ed's in the more fashionable parts of former eastern Europe. But, like Eno's Ambient blueprint,jap-noise is also so very easy to churn out,that any wise-ass can do it...en masse....and they continue to do so...unapologetically.

But, if you are lucky enough to have never heard any of this harsh noise Industrial cacophony before, this will probably be the most exciting thing you've heard since,.....well....Sleaford Mods? 

Tracklist:

Seite ANP:
A1 A.N.P – Meta Beast (14:11)
A2 A.N.P – Od Rising (10:05)

Seite Null
B Null – Dyspareunia D-1 (24:25)

DOWNLOAD some non-eno jap-cred HERE!

Zeni Geva – "Vast Impotentz" (Nux Organization – NUX - 15) 1988

What Heavy Metal should sound like is often a pointless discussion involving many an unresolvable parable about 'What went Wrong'? Another topical question seems to be why do the  Japanese have an almost effortless grasp of what Heavy Metal should have sounded like PS (Post Sabbath).

They are aided by not having any slave trade guilt,and as a result not being exposed to The Blues brought over from Africa on the slave ships.They ahve to make do with boring Chinese slaves,who weren't Funky in the remotest definition of the word. 

The first thing one notices with Japanese Rock,is the total lack of the Blues held withing the melting walls of Nippon's pop obsession. No-doubt I am just misinformed, but there are no examples of a Jap Amy Winehouse doing impressions of Billie Holiday,exposing her Black soul after fulfilling her obligations to the government funded Rock'n'Pop school that taught her Da Blues concept. Like the Brit-Schooled Amy Winehouse, she never skipped a single class on Traditional Rock'n'Roll drugs abuse,and died an early death before she was even born.As a result we get café au Lait Amy Winehouse and they got raw as sushi Fushitsusha.

The Brit Academy of the 'popular arts' way be reprehensible,but the UK don't have this cancer as bad as Sweden...or is it Norway?...that not only school the kids in Rock,but also buy them sparkling new equipment and bung 'em subsides to spread the message to the world.

Have Scandinavians got Da Blues?......of course they ain't,but they do have those Led Zeppelin records to dissect and truly discover da blooz anglais who have long since studied those Muddy Waters records until their ears ran red with soul in the key of 'R'...or at least sound like they did.

It was all downhill from there,but to muddy the waters further, Black Sabbath did a splendid job in removing ,mainly due to incompetence,almost all the Blues from their doomy dirges, save for Iommi's guitar solo's and Ozbournes regular "Yeah Baby alrights",spoiling the party. There were others who were pure anglo-saxon metal, after-all, thats where it was invented. Of course,Motorhead ('not metal' said Lemmy),Saxon(?),first two album Iron Maiden(?),and,not forgetting our American pals....TAD?

Japan, however, never had this problem,being naturally sadistic, soul-less and borderline insane.Metal competence,it seems, is down to genetics.There's a reason Britain and Japan both drive on the correct side of the road.

Zeni Geva is,for me, Japanese metal,and they understand this,without thinking about it.Or had they just been listening to Swans in 1984?

Who is this Zeni Geva,you might ask? I dunno, and i doubt they do either,but one of the Acid Mothers Temple is in it.

Delightfully lo-fi, slooooow, and brutal.Turn it up and expect police interest.

Tracklist:

1 I Want You (3:22)
2 War Pig (7:30)
3 Dead Car, Sun Crash (6:47)
4 Slam King (9:18)
5 Godkill/Killsonic (30:21)

DOWNLOAD to discover what the (?) after the word metal really means HERE!

Strangulated Beatoffs – "Days Of Our Lives" (Death By Blowjob – DBB001) 1994

Anything to do with Drunks With Guns,the group not yer actual Drunks Brandishing K-Mart Assault rifles; has to be good,surely? Couple that with puerile song titles about licking Bum holes and Jacking off with Jacko, and you've instantly lost the Art crowd.Leaving the attentive listener free from negative vibes of sneering pseudo intellects unaware of the classical beauty of American Dirge Punk from the 1990's./1980's. Namely Kilslug,Flipper,Groinoids,Killdozer,and, of course Drunks With Guns......one of the great band names, I would suggest?

A Drunk With Gun is but one part of  the Strangulated Beatoffs as it 'appens. From an era when the possibilities of making music without guitars became possible,....desirable even.Crawling out of a rust-belt trailer park and fucked up on Meth-amphetamine,this is the lost american's version of the Industrial music so enamored by media studies students all over Europe. Not quite as brutal as those tooled up Drunks, but so unsophisticated it can still give your bollocks a damn fine kicking...which, incidentally they probably deserve.

Strictly an oversight,but one has noticed that not a single Drunk with gun has been previously posted on this site.I suppose this is a salacious opportunity to right that debatable wrong?

NEWSFLASH:Apparently, they did NOT break up, and are Waiting to have their Genesis covers lp released.

Lookin' forward to that one.

Tracklist:

1.Earth To Satan 3:43
2.Satans Pool Party 4:02
3.Untitled 0:15
4.Bewitched 1:59
5.Bothered 19:15
6.Bewildered 4:20
7.It Isn't Fair For You To Taunt Me 4:18
8.Pied Piper Of Hamelin 8:06
9.One Life To Live 11:00

DOWNLOAD and enjoy an asphyxiating handjob experience HERE!

Big Stick – "Crack 'N' Drag" (Blast First – BFFP 25) 1988

I thought I'd have a go on one of these Artificial Intelligence programs,to see how they cope when faced with the Artificial Stupidity of The excellent Big Stick. I entered some info and cut'n'pasted some blurb from the internet,and this is what it came up with after i had to remove any sexual,political and racial references.Political correctness and offensive red lines will be hardwired in that fun fun FUN future we seem so inpatient to crush the last reasons to be alive with.The age of the self-replicating machine are dawning.

Anyway, this bland cliché ridden 21st century future of Music journalism nothingness,is what the computer came up with:

"In the world of dance music, there are only a few tracks that stand the test of time and remain cherished by generation after generation. One of those rare gems is "Drag Racing" by The Big Stick. Released in the mid-80s, this track was part of their EP called "Crack Attack," which is still regarded as one of the best dance music releases of all time. The Big Stick was an underground band hailing from the New York City art scene, and their music was a unique blend of art-rock and dance music. At the time, the punk scene was dominating the underground music scene, but The Big Stick was a breath of fresh air with their distinct sound and unconventional style. "Drag Racing" is a track that truly embodies the spirit of dance music. It's infectious, funky, and will make even the most reluctant dancer hit the floor and groove to the beats. The track features a hypnotic bassline that hooks you in right from the start, and the percussion and synth elements in the track add layers of complexity that make it stand out from other dance tracks of its time. The genius of "Drag Racing" lies in its ability to seamlessly blend different genres of music. The track draws inspiration from disco, funk, and punk rock, and fuses them together to create a sound that is entirely its own. It's a track that has something for everyone, and its popularity is a testament to its universal appeal. What makes "Drag Racing" even more impressive is its longevity. Over three decades have passed since its release, but the track still manages to captivate audiences. Its influence can be seen in modern dance music, and it continues to inspire new generations of artists. It's not just the music that makes The Big Stick and "Drag Racing" special; it's the band's unconventional approach to art and music that sets them apart. The band's name and album covers were inspired by phallic symbols, and their live performances were more akin to performance art than traditional concerts. They were pushing boundaries and challenging the norms of the music industry, and their music reflected that. In conclusion, "Drag Racing" by The Big Stick is a true masterpiece of dance music. It's a track that defies genres, captivates audiences, and remains relevant even after all these years. The Big Stick's unique approach to art and music has left an indelible mark on the music industry, and their music continues to inspire new generations of artists."

That would sit nicely in the review section of Mojo Magazine....just lacking an unseen Beatles photo section.

It really does make stuff up, that would kinda fit in any article.I wrote hardly any of the above!

Anyway, I've done a human version for you to contrast and compare.To see if it's worth having robots with critical minds, plotting in the corner of the fruit picking farm they are programmed to work in since Brexit removed all the Romanians from the UK,then found the Gammon faced gobshites who voted for it aren't willing to do the shitty jobs the foreigners did for them, so they can continue receiving their allowances for their bad backs.

On the Subject of Crack'n'Drag by The Big Stick group:

"This is how dance music should sound in my humble opinion.Spartan,not quite danceable,stoopid but clever,and a tad disturbing.

Drag Racing easily squeezes itself into my top ten bestest tunes of all time ever box.Big Stick slithered up like a slug from the NYC art rock underground(ugh!a bit of sick just came into my mouth momentarily!), in the mid-80’s, worlds apart both stylistically and sonically from noise-damaged bum-chums of the junkie-chic New York noise scene like Sonic Youth, Swans,Lydia Crotch with Aussie pets,Rowland H Hard-on,often interchangeable with the interminably awful Jim Foetus. You know where I'm going here don't 'cha? 'cus I don't?

I bought this compilation LP of their rather brilliant "Drag Racing" and "Crack Attack" ep's from back in the day,then they then seemed to sink without trace.Not even an oil slick floating on the surface of the sea of bad taste remained. To my surprise they made other recordings, and have even made some new ones in recent years. They may dress like that Cunt who was up stage front in the january 6th insurrection at the Capitol building with furry hat and horns,and ironically have a song called "I'm Gonna Shoot The President"; but  musically they are as weird as a whole capitol building full of drugged up Q-anon Trump Zombies prostrate in worship to their new God,with or without horns. 

Jacob 'I'm Guilty and i'm very very sorry' Chansley,the self-titled 'QAnon Shaman' of the jan 6th attack on democracy, who is NOT in Big Stick, will help make sure you're Free, even if he has to kill you to achieve it......cunt.

Big stick clearly do NOT come from the red Neck bloc,or even like Drag Racing. This is genuine Red Neck satire,helping extend Trump's imaginary wall further north of the Mexican Border,and eventually looping round, lasso-like, fencing those brother lynchin' bible licking Crack 'n' Meth fueled 2nd amendment toting Morons in one massive trailer park. Maybe we could do a deal with Putin to replace the 3 million Russian kids who left the country in fear of being drafted, with these unwanted Trump lovin' Fentanyl hooked Hillbillies? A threat that could end the war in Ukraine."

Tracklist:

1.Crack Attack 3:07
2.Crack Attack (Remix) 3:56
3.Billy Jack Paddy Wack 2:45
4.I'm Amazed 3:26
5.Friends & Cars (Recorded Live At The Folk City) 2:17
6.Shoot The President 2:21
7.Drag Racing 1:40
8.I Look Like Shit 2:01
9.Hell On Earth 2:19
10.Jesus Was Born (On An Indian Reservation) 2:32

DOWNLOAD that meth amphetamine quarter mile to a fentanyl laced doom in a tube top HERE!

Shit And Shine – "Everybody's A Fuckin Expert" (Editions Mego – eMEGO 212) 2015

The title of this, quite frankly, 'Dancey' album, kinda sums up the excrement filled creek that we are all stuck up without a paddle.

No-one likes a clever dick,and increasingly its the people who are patently NOT clever dicks who own the spare paddles, dragging us further into the more inaccessible regions of shitsville.

Sometimes we need,....really need, experts.You don't have to be friends with them, just acknowledge that they may know more stuff than you and let them get on with making our lives better rather than worse,and......a contentious point here....maybe even help save the planet from an impending environmental disaster.Be very careful what you say is a 'Lie' even if its backed up by 99% of all experts on the subject,because you just may be......MAYBE ,wrong(!?)......incredible as it may seem?All that "Research" you've done on facebook and YouTube, can sometimes mean you have read a lot of stuff that is in fact just made up bollocks.The scientists are quite prepared to admit they are wrong,whereas the University of Facebook just makes up more junk to further bury the actual Facts under a sludge pile of shit,that may never be cleaned up.The odds are, they are right, and you, a borderline Moron,are NOT! 

If they are lying participants in the greatest conspiracy the planet has ever known,then ....great...no harm done? But, if they are correct...and it looks like they ,the Experts,are; the we are well and truly FUCKED.

Donald Trump considers himself an 'Expert' in may area's,the main one is being an ignoramus of the nth degree.This appeals to the human ego, as no-one wants anyone smarter than them telling them what to do,do they?

A classic TV moment on British TV on the subject of the unbelievably brainless 'Brexit' debate,was when Pro-Brexit Government minister, Michael Gove, brought forth the vote-winning mantra  "People have had enough of Experts from organisations with acronyms saying they know what is best and getting it consistently wrong"!?.......the 'people' word is always used by nazi's and nationalist jerk-offs in general.

 .......says the lizard face fucker who has consistently fucked up every job he's ever had in Government.

The greatest example of this Brain reverse wiring has to be Trump asking his panel of soon to be saked experts, if they could somehow get light into the body

"Maybe you can, maybe you can't,I'm Not a Doctor, i'm just a person who has a good You Know What"

That video should just be played on a loop and streamed 24/7 to every social media device in the dumbest parts of the USA. Trump cleaning up the dumb vote will be a disaster of terminal proportions.At the very least it will result in Putin becoming the King of Europe,with at least the UK and Ireland being uninhabitable. In Russia, all the Experts are either poisoned, or in jail for life.

We Need Experts basically, or we is F.u.c.ked!

This is what Shit and Shine are alluding to in my Expert opinion.

Which explains the very Dance orientated nature of the lovely music contained within.Appeals to Dumb-asses and experts alike.

A call to end this celebration, and...word of the week.....'Weaponization', of Stupidity'

Tracklist: 1 Signal Failure 2 Upside Down Cheeseburger 3 Bus Station 4 Wespennest 5 Hay Ride 6 Chop The Night 7 Working On My Fitness 8 Picnic Table 9 Ass 10 Rastplatz 11 Stockwell 12 Clapham North DOWNLOAD expertly with expertise HERE!

Shit And Shine – "Shit And Shine" (Judgement Dispenser – JD#003) 2009

 As 'Industrial' music goes,it's hard to distinguish which 21st century acts display an acceptable face of product development as opposed to a bunch of Metalheads who heard Second annual report and a whitehouse LP,and mistook them for the new Sunn(((((0 album.

You can't blame 'em i suppose,as Metal inhabits the same musical dead-end as  Industrial musik does, and almost the same preponderance to invent as many sub-genres as possible to counter the valid accusations that it all sounds the fucking same!? 

The source of much of the problem is a wanton lack of a sense of humour, in both genres and their related,and very very silly, Sub-generic kissin' cousins .

Basically there's also so fucking much of this stuff, especially within the Industrial bracket,as its i actually a lot easier to make than almost any other form of Rock'n'Roll and its derivatives.You do actually have to have some basic skills to make a Doom Metal record,whereas in the grey Industrial hinterland, you need nothing except a lap top these days.In the old Skool tapes, that consisted of a double cassette deck, an echo box,a mike, and a distortion pedal, which actually looked better perched on a couple of Milk crates than the now standard two twats and a laptop,

Can't really think of any Metal bands with a sense of humour actually,but there are a few Industrial derived combo's who show this admirable trait, even if it is lost in the diaspora of uncountable generic Industrial MP3 files that are threatening the existence of any musical maldives out there in this too much of everything world we are saddled with for the near to mid-term future...if you can call it a 'Future'.

I can think of Smell and Quim and various offshoots, and this multi-drummer drone-psych-noise unit similarly tongue in cheek combo from the UK, Shit'n'Shine.

It could have been the name of a seventies cleaning product were it not for the naughty word,like a power electronics version of the Shake'n'Vac song.

The first side of this C-40 treats us to a unifying blend of Doom Metal as it should sound,and soul-crushing noise. Side B, is more yer power Electronics, but without the fucking silly murder stuff.Its brutal,and doesn't take prisoners or itself too seriously.Sadly,my only criticism is that this combo do that 21st century thing of releasing too many records, and they are on the great diluter site of Band-fucking-Camp. You can get dozens of the same thing here if you're so inclined.....it's all good,but not allllll good if you get what I'm sayin'?

Industrial culture has been watered down so much there's nothing left to cancel,and the product description is verging on the illegal.I wager even yer bank manager has invested in an original Leather Nun cassette,and a few VOD Sutcliffe Jugend box sets.Its all about as subversive as a Jeffrey Archer novel.

Recorded live in Belgium I gather?

Tracklist:

Side A (20:01)

Side B (20:08)

DOWNLOAD to do the shit'n'Shine to put the odour back HERE!

Die Sonne Satan – "Fac-Totum" (Slaughter Productions – T. 07) 1993

As background music to your Tupperware themed fondue soirée, this isn't gonna put you off that much needed purchase of  the resealable Salad tosser......you tossers.It does,however, have a Tupperware party favourite from  "Le Mystere Des Voix Bulgares" album on 4AD,nicked,sampled and adapted ,only slightly, for the average Italian dark ambient fan,and renamed "Dismal Chant"? If you have any trendy art gallery attendees who dress like members of Chumbawumba (NHS Glasses and black polo-necks) as friends,this will go down like a Flux of Pink Indians remix at a Yoga class.......generally attended by actual Pink Indians, with a cloakroom full of ethic textiles awaiting their departure to hang out in the organic section of an ethically based supplier.All kept fresh in the very same recyclable Tupperware knock-offs that have put Tupperware out of business.One down several billion to go.

A stone carving appearing to predict Donald Trump appears on the cover ,depicting "The Donald" showing appropriate reverence,(Fear), upon meeting the very same vengeful Deity he so recently adopted as his own personal explanation for his own undeniable greatness.

As for, One Man band, Die Sonne Satan's very deniable greatness;again, its very listenable Dark Ambient for the decernable misanthrope's tea-party.Nothing original, or disturbing going on here,especially the clubby number with 'beats'?;but, it makes for a similar type of background music that James Last provided the extinct beast that was the suburban housewife with, in the 70's; except this is for the Subhuman housewife of the post industrial 90's.

You can play this whilst staring at yourself in the mirror pretending that life is a really terrible thing....and you'd be right, but not for the reasons you think it is. If you like John Carpenter's soundtrack music,and wearing black,This is very you. And it says 'Satan' too....TeeHeeHee.

Gee Mom you're so square,Satan's been cool since the first Black Sabbath LP.He/her/they have all the best tunes...except for that Hair Metal bunch of reprobate twats that is.I'd sell my soul to Jesus if he could sort out some eternal pain for Motley Crue.....who wouldn't?

(The tracklisting's up there innit,so i won't bother pasting it in here)

DOWNLOAD and fac totem fac Donald and fac you jesus HERE!