Paul Kelday – "Worlds Apart" (Integrated Circuit Records - ICR) 1982

He may strike a passing resemblance to David Koresh, but Paul Kelday made better ambient electronic lunar landscapes than the long deceased leader of the Davidian cult in Waco could manage inbetween impregnating as many female followers as possible, and writing misspelled gospels for the US Customs. Not to say, that Paul Kelday didn't have any ambient groupies himself, but we'll probably never know.Especially as any fact finding mission would be severely hampered by the sad truth of Paul's untimely death.Which leaves the intriguing possibility that Dave and Paul could be jamming with Jesus on stage in heaven's infinite concert room at the end of the multi multiverse beyond the end of the wormhole that Paul always seems to capture the sound of, electronically,on many of his self-released C- ∞ cassettes.

Yes it does sound like the soundtrack for the Forbidden Planet,or Tangerine Dreams first album,as any possible melody is lost under a boiling ocean of analogue effects.....but what's wrong with that?

So, if You want more Kelday? Click on de Paul Kelday Label at de bottom of de post.Rrrrasta Far Out!

DOWNLOAD keldays departed world colliding with another departed world HERE!

Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five – "The Message" (Sugar Hill Records – 540040) 1982

Is this that only Rap record that should have ever been made?

Y'know wot, its not that I dispise Rap moozique, which to some peoples addled brane, means I must be a follower of  Steven Yaxley Lennon,or ,if you're American anyone in the Republican Party. It's just,beyond its monotonous habit of repeating itself over and over again on a scale that only has one solitary note on its stanza's, that on its one page annals of history,everything that it has achieved or, will ever achieve can be encapsulated in one singular track from this peculiar album released in 1982, namely, "The Message". Everything anyone needs to hear in the realms of Hip-Hop ,slash, 'Rap' is first vested,and so it should stay there, is on this rather infectious manifestation of  of that dominant genre.

Of course some of the members of the Furious Five went on to make some very highly interesting and experimental work with Adrian Sherwood,and the On-U-Sound bunch, striving carefully not to exclude Public Enemy's politically charged cacophony of "Nation of Millions" as the gravestone of Rap's Zenith, but...its all in there, compressed into one infinitely dense crotchet, and the "Message" was  the Big Bang,expanding exponentially across the audible universe. A lesson on how to paint yerself  into an infinite corner, and everyone's invited........Not for me however. I've a;ready got "The Message", and that Public Enemy LP, so I don't wanna hear, or see the point in anything else Hippity Hoppity,

Basically its Novelty Music gone pandemically wrong innit? Get out while you still can.

That said, I like the ways these kids dressed, and like this LP record,and does feature some very unimaginative early forays into sampling,for which I think Grandmaster Flash probably had to pay millions in royalties, and was the reason we never heard from him in the same way again, save for some personal appearances and behind the Steel Wheels. Lou Reed did the same for "A Tribe Called Rip Off" (as he ironically called them), who also sampled Ian Dury classic, "What a Waste" on the same track, but Ian never sued 'em.However, talking of Rip-Offs ,Lou only paid Herbie Flowers £17 quid (Standard session Fee in 1972) for the the bassline on Walk On The Wild Side ,as in the bit that "A Tribe Called Quest" sampled for their 'Can I Kick It' top ten smash.All the money should have gone to Herbie right? Instead of 100% of it going to Lewis's's back pocket.He's even credited as the songwriter on "Can I Kick It"!?

This blatant theft, and display of corporate power,was a major part of Rap's evolution ,or lack of,there-in.It also meant that no-one needed to play an instrument no more. How Punk is that?

Tracklist:

1.She's Fresh 4:56
2.It's Nasty 4:15
3.Scorpio 5:10
4.It's A Shame (Mt. Airy Groove) 4:58
5.Dreamin' 5:45
6.You Are 4:49
7.The Message 7:11

8.The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel 7:06

DOWNLOAD and get the message HERE!

Charanjit Singh – "Synthesizing - Ten Ragas To A Disco Beat" (His Master's Voice – ECSD. 2912) 1982

Groan!.Here we go again......Who's invented Acid House this time?

Ay Up, its a bloke from India of course,who in the process of modernising the instrumentation of some classical Indian Raga's, and bunging a TR 808 and an Acid in a box TB303 in there amongst his tinkling fingers, he accidently came up with something that sounded a bit like........yep......Acid House?

He had as little idea about Acid House as Frankie Knuckles had about Indian Raga's. But Acid disco leaked out of every infected sphincter, a sound that is very difficult to avoid as soon as you switch a 303 on. Charanjit doesn't actually do much,if any, of the famed Knob-Twiddling stuff,the very thing that distinguished yer Acid House from yer actual House and yer actual Disco in the first place. As it says on the tin,it is very much Synthesizing Ten Raga's to a Disco Beat,which to western ears sounds like the electronic Disco music that started to emerge in 1985 in a Chicago-ized parallel universe. 

So, when a crate digging Dutch D.J. found a copy of this and played it,he obviously concluded instantly that he'd found the missing link of  House music, which is basically the "Disco" that Charanjit Singh did actually know about.

It sounds more like a speeded up version of Gottshing's E2-E4 to these tired ears.

And there's no knob twiddling,so it ain't Acid is it?

It sold fuck all copies in India, and now goes for as much as US$11,000 to some tiny minded idiots who are probably mentally ill.

The same price,incidentally as a 2026 World Cup Final Ticket!...yes that stupid!?

They can give me Eleven Grand if they want for the digital download,or for watching the cup final on TV, but for normal people out there,this daft two plus Two equals 5 logic is pushing things a tad too far.On here everything is FREE.

Tracklist:

A1 Raga: Bhairavi
A2 Raga: Lalit
A3 Raga: Bhupali
A4 Raga: Todi
A5 Raga: Madhuvanti
B1 Raga: Meghmalhar
B2 Raga: Yaman
B3 Raga: Kalavati
B4 Raga: Malkauns
B5 Raga: Bairagi

DOWNLOAD the Taj Mahal of Acid House HERE!

The Computer People Communicators – "Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic)" Electric Land Records 1982

 

The lifeless oceans of the pre-cambrian period, surrounding the one solitary super continent of Pangaea.Devoid of anything but insects,and simple plant-life, the seeds of something greater flew on the desert winds,which led to an early version of 'us'.Something even more basic than today and mamalian. Something that mis-evolved in to something quite terrifying, basic, and unevolved.....you know what this is,and I admit I promised to stop referring to it in these pages.....thats right.....The malodorous lesser spotted naked pernicious Trump-oid, which later split from an infected part of his orange ass and became a fully functional Baboon's ass.Which exists,and functions only too efficiently to this very day.Splattering its shite,poly-directionally left,right and Radical Left,and left again.

This very early Pangaeal Hip-Hop , by The Computer People Communicators,is a very early seed from a time before affordable drum machines, and germinated in the primordial ocean,spreading like a cancer in our souls, to form a modern Rap Cretaceous period where the reptiles started to take over, and sub-species like Jay Zee and Kanye West started to breed like Rappers.I hate to say anything is entirely  utter shite (well, I don't actually), but the preceding 30 years of this nonsense truly Is indeed utter shite.Somehow they survived the Asteroid Inpact in the Gulf of America (???), a lost part of Hip-Hop Pangea, populated by compulsively Lying Orang-utans, and misogynistic Rap-Dodo's,where during the mating season, have sub-intelligent large arsed females throwing themselves at their feet to receive the sacred seed for another generation of fools to be born and ignored.

We'll ignore Rap's Jurassic period,as ,unlike Steven Spielberg,we realised that most of the creatures who inhabit that CGI hell, 95% of them were infact from the preceding Cretaceous period.Therefore the movie version should have been called, more accurately, "Cretaceous Park",and not, Jurassic Park...those silly billies.

Anyway, this early computerized Funky seed, spread by someone called Gene "Poo Poo" Anderson (I'm not making this up!),is good stuff, but has an awful lot to answer for! Especially as a precursor to the fetid scent of the Poo-Poo that was to come.

Tracklist:

Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic) (Part 1) 8:45
Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic) (Part 2) 5:24

DOWNLOAD this analogical comparison between Hip-hop and other beasts HERE!

Napalm Death / Civil Defense – "Punk Is A Rotting Corpse" (Non Label-Bootleg) 1982

 

On the inauguration of the USA as an official Roque state.I feel it fittingly appropriate that one does a vicious rant about the Great Orange mistake itself,but couldn't think of anything Death Metally as an introduction.

So,I thought,hmmmm How about something appropriately fraudulent like a bootlegged Napalm Death fake Demo cassette,without any actual Napalm Death on it,except three tracks by an American Hardcore band no-ones ever heard of....or as Trump would say,a Beautiful american Hardcore band that no-ones ever heard of before"....in this case some fuckers called Civil Defense (note the american spelling). 

An early incarnation of Napalm Death were incidentally also called briefly, Civil Defence (note correct spelling),which is why the fuck up of having three tracks by Civil Defense happened.The bootleggers obviously thought this was Napalm Death? The actual Napalm Death track was stolen from Bullshit Detector 3,and is track 1,the snappily titled "The Crucifixion Of Possessions".

Above all that,the lads from Napalm,never released anything called 

"Punk Is A Rotting Corpse",especially NOT in 1982.

At least we can change the title for our own purposes,and rename it "Trump will be A Rotting Corpse".....hopefully soon eh?

Behold! The festering carcass of American Rot shoved into an ill fitting suit: the sleaze of a con-man, the cowardice of a draft dodger, the gluttony of a parasite, the racism of a klansman, the Sexism of a back alley creep, the ignorance of a bar stool drunk, and the greed of a hedge-fund Ghoul. All spray painted Orange and presented like a prize piggie at a Redneck country fair . Not a president, not even a man or just a mammal,the world's worst human,and the worlds worst Mammal wrapped up in one. Just a vile diseased distillation of everything America says it isn't but always has been and will be forever more.Arrogance dressed up as exceptionalism, stupidity passed off as common sense, cruelty sold as toughness, Greed exalted as ambition, and corruption worshiped like the gospel Donald is so blissfully unaware of.

It's America's darkest shadow made flesh, a rotting pumpkin shaped halloween idol.Proving that when a nation kneels before money power and spite,it doesn't lose its soul, it shits out this bloated obscenity and calls it a leader!?

Tracklist:

1 Napalm Death– The Crucifixion Of Possessions
2 Civil Defense– Don‘t Bother
3 Civil Defense– Enough
4 Civil Defense– Dysfunction

DOWNLOAD this rotting corpse HERE!

Sodom – "Witching Metal" (Self-Released cassette) 1982

German Black Metal band with very silly names,who were allegedly driven to the dark side of Metal by the threat of a life toiling in the Coal Mines of  Gelsenkirchen, and hearing Venom, who incidentally came from a coal mining area in Newcastle UK. They played a form of high speed Black Metal inspired by the coal dust and slag-heaps that there seemed no escape from.If only we were a Black Metal band said bassist Tom Angelripper(not his real name)to his similarly inspired friends.

Not many places or politicians had the guts to liberate the miners from their squalor like the UK did ,so showbiz was the only answer.

So be it! 

Sodom are still around today unleashing their particular brand of scraping free-form Metal on an unsuspecting bunch of filthy miners,who,no doubt, were more than happy to stay in the pits to avoid this relentless noise.Everyone wins!?

Believe it or not, they did go on to earn themselves a Gold Disc in Germany for a later album.And hopefully no-one got Sodomized in the process?.....you know how record executives are? The ones who start sweating when a youthful member of Sodom asks that awkward,but classic question, "Vot did you do in ze war Vater?"....lets just say, Vater wasn't playing Black Metal with the Einsatzgruuppen at Babi Yar.

Although when the queues of naked Hispanics are growing fast at one of Donald Jennifer Trump's Treblinka style ICE controlled Golf Course,with added Gas Chambers placed discreetly around the 19th hole,reserved ,obviously for YOU! between the Water Hazard and the heavily disguised Shrubbery....; maybe a bit of Death/Black metal would be appropriate for the camp band.Maybe "Y.M.C.A." played over and over again in a Black Metal Stylee?

I, for one would be rushing to get in there first and take deep breaths of that lovely poison Gas,the one that never worked during Death Row executions from the time before the Civil War.

You better start making plans and decide what kind of American you are 'cus they're coming....to fill your reservation for the nearest mass grave

Sodom if they can't take a joke ;=)☺

Tracklist:

A1 Devil's Attack 3:13
A2 Witching Metal 3:04
A3 Life From Hell 2:52
A4 Poisoned Blood 3:15

DOWNLOAD to be sodomized by german record executives HERE!

Various Artists – "One Take No Dubs (Live In The Studio)" (Neat Records – NEAT 25) 1982

A very punky NWOBHM split EP from the vaults of Neat Records up there in Newcastle upon Tyne.It sounds like a Heavy Rocking Eddie and the Hot Rods,crossed with Thin Lizzy,and added Buzzcocks style boasting of no overdubs, as was the case on the unofficial first UKDIY record Spiral Stratch. They did actually do a couple of takes,but owned up to them on the rear of the cover. How many takes did these Geordie Punky Metal Heads need?...why but one apiece , and the electrified urgency is obvious. A crackling maelstrom of high speed Rock'n'Roll, and undoubtedly very stylistically NWOBHM.

Tracklist:

01 Alien – Could Have Done Better
02 Hot 'N' Heavy - Express
03 Black Rose – Knocked Out
04 Hellanbach – All Systems Go (Full Scale Emergency)

DOWNLOAD in one take HERE!

Various Artists – "Roxcalibur"(Guardian Records N' Tapes – GRC 130) 1982

 

If one reads the list of personnel on the dozen or so NWOBHM bands from North Eastern England,featured on this handy compilation, we find a veritable gold mine of Britishness doing British things, with very very British names.

Where would we be without Brian and Gordon Potts of Brands Hatch? Nowhere I wager,or at least somewhere else behind a door that locks from the inside.

Then we have Steve Cabbage, demon of the keyboards for Exodus.Whose keyboard skills made the red sea collapse in itself again.I'm almost 101 percent sure that this isn't his stage nom de Plume; I envisage a hell of a time was had at school with such an unfortunate moniker, he probably even bullied himself.

Trevor Wardle,Mick Howard,Nev Larkin,Bill and Malcolm Midwood,Mick Hedley, and so on, it reads like a list of rejected drummer names for Spinal Tap 3. Virtually zero foreigners  on this very non-exotic list, except for a very disturbing appearance by some teutonic beast called Dieter Roth of....here we go again "Unter Den Linden"....where that came from I know not;but exist it does.Festering among this festival of British blanditude.

Magnolia being the interior decorating of this rocking compilation,it became necessary to make up for it on the outside,as another British pastime that almost defines them as a race, is to Rock out Man!Oh how they do like to party, even if they are called Mick,or Pete,Dave, or Trevor, they all think they are Pop Stars, and raise hell when they can.

Despite another beige christian name,Keith Moon was not the exception,but the rule.

Ahhh poor old Keith, wife beater,alcoholic,drug consumer stupidity beyond any other idiot one cares to mention;but the best bit that godd 'ol Mooney got away with was when he killed his Chauffeur by reversing his Bentley over him while drunk,no licence,no insurance and attempting to escape a gang of Skinheads after starting a fight in a pub!I doubt if any of us reading this unbelievable rock mythology would escape severe punishment for such mindless twollox!

Ha Ha Haaaa,life of the party was Mooney, wasn't he Pete Townsend? Wouldn't catch you doing that would we? Too busy doing "Research" by subscribing to internet kiddie Porn.......he walked free too??!!

Lets face it kids, all of the 60's/70's glitterati were shagging kids,beating up women,even when they were under-age,pushing class A drugs on to innocent entourage members and potential conquests, and ,basically, would be sharing a prison cell with Jimmy Savilles ghost,Rolf Harris,Glitter Johnathan King,that tit from The Lost Prophets, and frankly ,Mojo fans,The Beatles would have been banged up in 1964 if they had the same laws and attitude as today.Their manager was an Epstein after all?

The Heavy Metal acts around 1979/80 would have loved to do the same as their pervy nonce heroes,but no-one gave a shit about 'em, unless they were Iron Maiden, who were too big to get easy sex by playing Heavy Metal.....awww bless 'em.

But, let's not get distracted by our rock gods' orgiastic excess,"Roxcaliber" sounds innocent enough for me to stupidly announce.....announce, NOT, A NONCE!...Twats!

...to Stupidly announce that there are officially NO Nonces on this record.

They probably all work for the BBC now, after being sacked by Harvey WankStain, while Iron Maiden and Saxon are on the next Lolita Express plane to Epstein Island with Donald Trump at the controls.

Slay them with the Sword of Roxcalibur!

Tracklist:

A1 Black Rose – No Point Runnin'
A2 Brands Hatch – Brands Hatch
A3 Battleaxe– Burn This Town
A4 Satan– Oppression
A5 Marauder – Battlefield
A6 Unter Den Linden – Wings Of Night
A7 Skitzofrenik – Exodus
B1 Battleaxe – Battleaxe
B2 Marauder – Woman Of The Night
B3 Black Rose – Ridin' Higher
B4 Unter Den Linden – Man At The Bottom
B5 Skitzofrenik – Keep Right On
B6 Satan– The Executioner
B7 Brands Hatch – No Return

DOWNLOAD metal approved by king Arthur's dumber brother HERE!

Jimmy Smack – "Death Is Certain" - (Knekelhuis – KH040) 1982-83 / 2022

Hmmmm, Nice Arse.

Electric bagpipe drone weirdness from LA deathrock outsider Jimmy Smack. 'Death is Certain',aww and there's me thinking I was gonna live forever, is assembled from two self-released 7"s and a similarly self-released twelve incher from 1982/3.

Looking at him I sense he prefers a good 12 incher to a nice seven incher any day, but then again don't we all?
There aren't many records that can boast an electric Bagpipe, but this one does,so its already automatically good,never mind the Suicidal tendencies, as in that Rev and Vega kind of minimalism.

Always keep at least one hand on yer bagpipe kiddies.

Slapping on the corpse paint well before all those Scandinavian Death Metal drongos,Jim reminds one rather of a scotch Alien Sex Fiend,or Fad Gadget.

Is he trying to frighten us or something?....I really think he is!?

Although he was unhealthily obsessed with Death, he soon decided to quit after receiving an opportunity to find out what Death was really like when he received several Death Threats.Apparently he wasn't too popular with the LA Deathrock audience,regularly booed off and and a hate target.Worried for he and his families safety,....Yup, he had a wife and Kids!?.."he bailed right after the death threat thing. Stopped,and sold his pipes(how much did he get for them?)." Went back to his day job permanently,that's right he was a Ballet Dancer,and even more incredibly....NOT GAY!?

Smack, not his real name i'm guessing, was a multi-disciplined artist,so when he wasn't donning death mask war paint,he was preaching the gospel of Cold War nihilism; or channeling paranoia with great urgency through the howling banshee screams of electrified Celtic bagpipes.Or,doing The Nutcracker on Broadway?

At least we can now reassure ourselves with the knowledge that Smack never struggled for work,and I quote:"I was in the theatre all the time, my whole life. I had the Hollywood Free Theatre and then the Star Theatre. I was just always on stage doing something. Worked with all these clowns, we were all clowns so I became a clown — I was Jimbo the clown.”.....interestingly Not Smacko the Clown?

If only Johnny Rotten became Jimbo The Clown after Wobble left PiL, then the world would have been a marginally better place......if slightly creepier.

Tracklist: A1 Anguish 9:51 A2 Hating Life 3:12 A3 Depression 2:09 B1 Souls 1:26 B2 Cybernetic 1:38 B3 Death Is Certain 1:56 B4 The Scarlet Beast 1:38 B5 Batty 2:31 B6 Anguish (Instrumental) 8:51 DOWNLOAD smacko the clown HERE!

Various Artists – "Real Time 3 - December 1982" (Unlikely Records) 1982

Trendy Turtles were definitely going for that elusive Cherry Red contract weren't they? Only rarely does one find Twee Indie Pop arse to elbow with a rowdy Oi groop,especially as both forms of music are long dead. The Oi Polloi don't sound very likely to harbor any signs of being women trapped in a Skinheads' body, but then again Gender politics were thankfully absent from the minds of the average Teenager,or Yobbo in those 'simpler' times around Christmas 1982. Gender Dysphoria was just a technical phrase in a psychologists handbook. Nowadays, one would rule out the existence of a Trans Oi combo at one's peril....and get shunned by society as a reward. I actually do have a Hardcore record by a Trans hardcore Punk band called G.L.O.S.S. which is actually rather marvelous. So come on you gender fuck-ups, get that Trans Skinhead Oi band going and I might understand you a bit more.

I don't envy kids these days at all....shit music...and shit post truth information overload.

Dunno how I got onto this subject, just thought it amusing to imagine The Oi Polloi or even better the 4-Skins as transexuals........should I take the knee now or something?,,,,wot a fuck UP!

Which is not what this very good indeed C-90 cassette compilation appears to be.

We're on the cusp of Indie here it seems,with the only remnants of Punk being the unfashionably stupid comprehensive school politics of the Oi Polloi....luckily I love the sound of "stupid".

There's always Lurch after all, and a bag full of time specific Power Pop and Indie Tweeness.

Tracklist:

A1 Trendy Turtles– Hickory Dickory
A2 Trendy Turtles– Instrumental
A3 Trendy Turtles– Bamber
A4 The Genitals– Out Eyes Met
A5 The Genitals– Sound Of The Spa
A6 Sons Of The Electrodes– Bear In Mind
A7 Oi Polloi– Police State
A8 Oi Polloi– Poppy Day
A9 Oi Polloi– No Future
A10 Oi Polloi– Media
A11 Lurch – Hush Little Baby
A12 Yr Anhrefrn – Stwffiwch Y Dolig
A13 Yr Anhrefrn – Ynni O'r Sebon
A14 Terminal Spectators – Another Day/Reach For The Sky
B1 The Infamous Zeek & Giz– Ronny & The Rayguns
B2 The Infamous Zeek & Giz– My Brain Is Infested With Mince
B3 Future Future– 21st Century (Dreams)
B4 Graham Larkbey– You Look So Lovely Tonight
B5 Graham Larkbey– Your Husband Didn't Like It
B6 The Invisible Band– Alazarin's Castle
B7 The Invisible Band– Doin' The Ton
B8 Idid Idid– Moloko Plus
B9 Ron Ferret– Wasps
B10 Ron Ferret– Train Of Thought

DOWNLOAD for a very late christmas pressie HERE!

Various Artists - "Real Time 2 : October 82" (Unlikely records) 1982

Are you having a good time? I'm having a real good time 2.

Was it really this good in October 1982. I seem to remember 'OCT 82' appearing on the swastika bedecked sleeve of that Bad Seed EP by the Birthday Party....everything went downhill from there unfortunately, especially for crooning Goth Gargoyle Nicholas Cave.Whatever happened to him?....Don't ask!

Second in the "Real Time" series of Unlikely records Compilations gives us proof that 1982 was better than you think, as the Post Punk snowball rolled on down that hill into the oncoming neo-pop lava flow of synth duo's and silly clothes.

It opens with both sides of the solitary single of the classy New Wave pop of Swimming in the Sea.Might have been a hit a year or so earlier.

What follows is a jolly entertaining plethora of quality DIY, Punk Rock,lo-fi synth Pop, and other forms of what passed for intelligent pop music in late '82.

Of course, none of these people were ever heard of again, and Nick Cave went on to conquer every coffee table in Christendom.

Tracklist:

A1 Swimming In The Sea– Hero For The Heroine/The Presents
A2 The Workforce– 10 Fingers Only
A3 Jonathan Rush– Only A Nightmare
A4 David Rush – Laser
A5 Gunslinger– Someone's Got You In The Gunsight
A6 Gunslinger– Step Into The Future
A7 The Blotchees– Funky Ho ! Down/This Isn't Your Day/Melon-Cauli
A8 Extension-Two– The Black Box/We Care/Summary/Scenes Of Today/Sandra/The Black Box
A9 Extension-Two– Extension-Two (Alone Again)
A10 Lurch – Real Time
A11 Robert Cox– A2 Is Missing
B1 Patrol– SS Officer
B2 Patrol– Innocence
B3 Tom Cramp & The Epilectic Ducks– Cramposaurus Chant
B4 Tom Cramp & The Epilectic Ducks– White Stalk SB
B5 The Puush– Morning Rolls And Hot Coffee
B6 Suburban Strom Troopers– Switchblade & Crucifix
B7 Suburban Strom Troopers– Mau Mau
B8 Switch-Cord Roulette– Theresa
B9 Switch-Cord Roulette– Goliath
B10 The Same – Instrumental 7/3/82
B11 The Same – Auntie Meat
B12 The Same – Sampled & Held
B13 The Same – Sync Or Swim

DOWNLOAD and have a real good time HERE!

Various Artists – "Real Time 1: August 82" (Unlikely records) 1982

Ay Up?  That bloke (Robert Cox) what done "Felixstowe Rocks" is also the brane behind that unlikeliest of record labels otherwise known as "Unlikely Records", from...you guessed it...Felixstowe!?

The label was well known for handing out these compilations for free at gigs. Largely featuring Robert Cox in his various guises.

The catchphrase being : "You Don't Know What You'll Like Until You Hear It!"....which, in my experience isn't entirely true.

There were countless times I knew I'd like a record purely going on Artwork,and any number of those dodgy reviews in the music press from their golden era .The art of reviewing a record has long died a painful death since the birth of the internet. Like the reviews section in Mojo,which sound as retrogressive as Mojo mag is;like it came from the sixties, simplistic and very reverend. Tending to just describe the music rather that the thoughts and attitudes behind it.

But, hearing it first does help....a bit.

So in the post-truth woke conspiracy addled planet of today, hearing it again is all part of the over exposure to information that is fucking up anything with it's own mind...seemingly for good, and certainly for the Bad.

Therefore in 1982, it was necessary to get the kids to actually hear it for free; something we take for granted today. So 'Not' hearing it in the modern context i would argue has many beneficial qualities.

No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition, and no-one expects to be expected to like something one has never heard. This concept is very much part of the culture wars straight jacket we find ourselves in today. Most of the unexpected stuff from the past would have never surfaced were it not for the luck  in appearing in the pre-internet existence. Censorship, i would also argue could also have many beneficial attributes,re-creating the awe and mystery of stuff you aren't allowed to see,hear or feel. Yep, i'm arguing for censorship here, and chinese style internet controls......probably banning me in the process;but i'll take one for the team if it results in the allure of the forbidden to return, and the art world ceasing to be so fucking BORING!

Ok, rant over,and time for me to describe this great tape as if I worked for Mojo Magazine in 2024, or The NME in 1963.

This is one of those classic UK DIY compilations from the Heyday of British cassette culture. Plenty of nice tunes that could be a hit. Especially Pop-tastic being Coventry's favourite post-Jurassic period Donovan fans, the tuneful Digital Dinosaurs.

For all you cool fans of early industrial hits, there's Muslimgauze himself, assuming his early disguise as EG Oblique Graph. The late Bryn Jones and his estate,who is still....,inexplicably, around today, despite the inescapable laws of nature. These laws can obviously be bypassed using the reanimating power of ferric oxide even if he is long dead.

Another myth from the misty shores of a DIY Albion, is the very illusive Lurch, who makes a rare appearance on several of these Unlikely compilations. Ever since he appeared on the classic "Deleted Funtime" C-90 on Deleted records in 1980, i've been on the lookout of that Lurch tape; sadly to zero effect.....one can still dream I guess?

Reading back at this failed attempt to sound as twee and reverend as Mojo and  the 1960's music press, I really shouldn't have bothered.....thankfully, I failed.

Censorship will return to free our minds again., fear not; put into effect by your Woke mates who will be watching you in the emptying Pubs of Great Britain and beyond. That coupled with New Cold War paranoia will ensure the return of music and art in general to a new relevance last seen during  the art renaissance of the 20th century. Blah Blah Blah!

 

 

Tracklist:

A1 Syd Nairda– Nevada
A2 Lurch– High-Steppin' Mamma
A3 Digital Dinosaurs – Sideways Man
A4 Digital Dinosaurs – Red Fire Engine
A5 Jonathan Rush – Synthasalsa
A6 Jonathan Rush – New Dawn
A7 Y Celfi Cam – Mab Y Gweinidog
A8 In Embrace – Excerpts From Clutching/The Air In Between
A9 E. G. Oblique Graph – Scar
A10 The Ffuts (Formerly The Stuff)– Luscious Love
A11 The Same – 453-549
A12 Tom Cramp And The Epileptic Ducks – Die For Doggy
A13 R J Curd– Excerpts From Wastelands 1/The Dream Fades/Interspace/Scepsis/New Dance/Remembrance/Night Flight/Dreaming Of You/Surveillance/Tape Walking/Wastelands 2
A14 Emergency Exit – Falling For You
B1 Emergency Exit – Voices
B2 Part Form– Excerpts From Wire Walking/Waiting Room/Part Form
B3 Future Future – Operator
B4 The Toy Shop – Excerpts From The Maze/Live Wires Kill
B5 Extension-Two – Gaps
B6 General Motors – Tubular Turds
B7 General Motors – Live Wasp Omelette, Lung
B8 Piers Of The Realm– Manic
B9 Someone Else – Something Else
B10 The Same – Set Zero
B11 The Same – Hot & Cold
B12 The Same – Larruping Shuftly
B13 The Same – If You Want To, Do So !
B14 The Same – Du Ma Casa

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XX Committee – "Steel Negro Music" (A.R.P.H. Tapes – AT # 001) 1982

When they should have been working hard doing their philosophy majors at the University of Pittsburgh.Chris Scarpino,and Scott Foust decided to put their Kant and Nietzsche tome's aside and follow the confused philosophy of the recently,in 1982, deceased Throbbing Gristle to the test,and see if anyone,even Philosophy students, could give this new fangled Industrial Music a go.

And Would you credit it, the answer was a big YES.No musical ability needed,or even equipment.Melody?...too difficult.So we'll pretend that we know what we're doing,and explain it away as industrial culture.

Sounds good though,especially if you've got fuck all idea what's going on.

Ironically called Steel Negro Music,and i'm guessing here,that the steel part refers to the future 'Rust Belt' steelworks that purveys the alma mater of their university campus.....Pittsburgh,famous for the steel industry,and perfect inspiration to make this TG-alike racket.Hell, I'm a Metal Worker myself,albeit on the lazy-arsed Artistic/Autistic side of reality;one does share the enviable prospect of contracting one of the few perks of the job, like emphysema or pneumoconiosis. 

Then we have the retrospectively controversial Negro Music part ,which i'm sure refers to the male White Negro doing involuntary 'black-face'thanks to the soot festooned atmosphere inhaled by every white and Black Nigger enslaved to the American nightmare in the land of the Free;and destined to die alone in an american super-prison from acute lung disease.

However,beyond this cassette, I am not aware of any major contributions to Philosophy made by Messers Scarpino and Foust to date.You can never prove a Philosopher isn't working 24/7....its the same excuse made by Artists......just another word for Lazy Fuckers basically.

Tracklist: 1.NP, Ward 3 12:05 2.Metal Worker 5:07 3.National Re-Doubt 5:40 4.Drone 1 6:42 5.Damarc 4:17 6.Steel Negro 4:33 7.Mass Machina 4:45 8.M de S. 6:06 9.Deep Red 3:30 10.Drone 2 6:00 DOWNLOAD some ferric oxide music HERE!

Debt Of Nature – "Robin Diamond's Lungs" (A.R.P.H. Tapes – AT # 003) 1982

Throbbing Gristle played two shows in the USA,and they were both in California;HERE and HERE!

So, kids hear TG,then they play like TG,even securing the dubious skills of Monte Cazazza donated towards the recording of this cassette,which, by the way, features the participation(Again) of one Brad Laner;member of too many groups to remember.

So yeah, it sounds like Throbbing Gristle.There's even a few Charles Manson news reports recorded off the Television,to further flesh out the cliché.....but, i'm a sucker for some Old Skool Industrial.Its the ultimate great leveller in musical terms,like Dub Reggae.Also equally effective as background music for that fondue soirée you've been meaning to throw for the neighbours.

Anyone can do it.Zero Chords required,unlike the one that's recommended for any decent Punk rock tune,or the Mozart-like three that's needed for a Ramones/Status Quo number....Fuck That!

Ironically,as a bonus, any Industrial Artist gets to be taken semi-seriously by the chin stroking bespectacled chumbawumba set from the Artier end of town, whereas Punk Groups or Satus Quo,forward slash,Ramones are looked upon as some sort of tribe of Idiots.

Tracklist:A1 N Counter
A2 Bed Time
A3 Industrial Elitists
A4 Dead Cow Manifesto
A5 All Through The Night
A6 Blood Was Everywhere
A7 In An Orgy Of Murder
A8 DrM/SbC
A9 Intellectual Decompression
A10 The Cross
B1 Inside Out Effect
B2 Graphic Truth
B3 Fascist Insect
B4 Grin
B5 Survival
B6 Fuck Peace
B7 Nothing Matters
B8 To Be Governed

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Trixie's Big Red Motorbike - "All Day Long In Bliss (Singles, Demos And Peel Sessions)" 1981-85

The fairy prince and princess of twee has to be brother and sister Mark and Melanie Litten who,like many of their Twee contemporaries never got to release an album in their lifetimes.

Haling from a pre-Wet Leg Isle Of Wight ,they released their sparkly gentle pre-teen ditties on their own Lobby Ludd label....which is how my father, strangely, used to refer to Robin Hood?...I blame those Nazi's  and their prison camps and stuff i do.

Amazingly,according to Discogs, Mark Litten was something of a sound tech for Def Leppard!?.....I wonder what those clueless oafs thought of  Trixie's Big Red Motorbike,if they ever got to hear it; as the sole purpose of all this Twee stuff was to distance the wimps who made it as far away from the spotty testosterone fueled nonsense of NWOBHM as possible. I'd like to think that Lemmy would have got it,but not necessarily actually liking it....maybe not?

Where did this stuff evolve from? 

I guess the earliest roots would have to be Syd Barrett's solo work,the more whimsical end of UK Psych, and Velvet Underground's third album.Then the proto-punk nerd-chic of Johnathan Richman and Talking Heads,a bit later the TV Personalities,The Raincoats,and Subway Sect, making rejection of Rock music fashionable in 1978 leading to wimps like Orange Juice,Altered Images,Marine Girls (a marine Girl,Jane Fox, actually appears on a few of these tracks),Young Marble Giants,Dolly Mixture and so-forth.

It all gets quite confusing, with a venn diagram of Twee,overlapping ShoeGaze and Dream Pop.You can find Galaxie 500, My Bloody Valentine, and The Cocteau Twins all in the same space.

However, undoubtedly,Trixie's Big Red Motorbike is firmly entrenched within the Twee area of the diagram, alongside many of the forthcoming entities we shall be visiting making music for Wimps by Wimps.

I may have spent most of my time going to Godflesh and Napalm Death gigs in 1986/7,but nearly every other band on the circuit were Twee befringed Indie pop shoegaze dreamers,which i now realise was rather good,and refreshing......then came the second summer of bloody fucking Love,and the Shoegazers picked up a tambourine and started enjoying themselves,dancing and the like!?.Tut TUT TUT!  

  
 Tracklist:

1 A Splash Of Red 4:16
2 Invisible Boyfriend 3:19
3 Hold Me (Demo) 1:42
4 You Took Him Away From Me (Demo) 3:27
5 Hold Me 1:41
6 Trixie's Groove 2:34
7 One Nation Under A Brolly 0:46
8 Whatever Happened To The Treetops? 2:18
9 You Took Him Away From Me 2:56
10 One Nation Under A Brolly (Demo) 2:23
11 Norman And Narcissus 2:33
12 In Timbuktu 2:00
13 That's The End Of That 1:44
14 I'm In Love With You 2:06
15 When He's By My Side 2:03
16 Fairytales 2:15
17 That's Quite A Lot 2:52
18 What Was In The Loft 7:01

Bonus Tracks:

Peel Session 25/08/1983:

1 That's The End Of That
2 One Nation Under A Brolly
3 Norman & Narcissus
4 In Timbuktu
5 White Horses

Peel Session 28/07/1982:

1 Invisible Boyfriend
2 Splash Of Red

3 Whatever Happened To The Treetops
4 You Took Him Away From Me

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The Associates - "Sulk (40th Anniversary Edition) 1982/2022

I'm in a sulk.....there are no associates left. 

Rankine died peacefully a few days previously, which is ironic as Sulk is one of the least peaceful Pop records ever made.Its full of several kitchen sink's worth of suffocating Pop genius. There's so much going on that one needs a crowbar to get the album out of its high viz glossy,but nameless,package.

None of yer average pop consumers knew what The Associates looked like, hence the need for the annoying sticker that fucked up the garishly botanical cover,and was impossible to remove.

There are few stranger records than "Party Fears Two" or "Club Country" that entered the top ten of the UK Charts.Right Up there with PiL's "Death Disco" and "Flowers Of Romance" as the weirdest singles to both chart and appear on Top Of The Pops.Subversive moments both.The associates also got on Top of The Pops with "18 Carat Love Affair", using chocolate guitars,which melted as Alan Rankine mimed playing them,and got eventually eaten by the audience,including the Spare one....Pop eating itself in action.

I'm supposed to write something else aren't I?..but i've been drinking some hard medicine,and i've become lost listening to this work of genius.Food?...who needs it?

One of my few claims to fame by proxy, is that I had an aggressively jealous Scottish girlfriend,who came from Dundee/Glasgow,and went for a night out with Billy mcKenzie!?...a predictably crazy and wild night was had by all accounts.Although if I went for a night out with Billy Mckenzie i'm sure she would have been less generous,and i would have received a few glancing blows from the flying crockery heaved in my general direction.But.....

Of course "Sulk" is one of the greatest ,most perverse Pop Lp's ever made.And Bill remains one of the greatest vocal acrobats ever.

Rest in noisy peace Bill and Alan. This album is your epitaph.

Sulk:

CD1-1 Arrogance Gave Him Up
CD1-2 No
CD1-3 Bap De La Bap
CD1-4 Gloomy Sunday
CD1-5 Nude Spoons
CD1-6 Skipping
CD1-7 It's Better This Way
CD1-8 Party Fears Two
CD1-9 Club Country
CD1-10 Nothinginsomethingparticular

Outtakes, Monitor Mixes & Rarities:

CD2-1 Ulcragyceptimol - Demo
CD2-2 I Never Will - Demo
CD2-3 Club Country - Demo
CD2-4 Me, Myself And The Tragic Story - John Leckie Recording
CD2-5 Australia - John Leckie Recording
CD2-6 Skipping - Monitor Mix Instrumental
CD2-7 It's Better This Way - Monitor Mix
CD2-8 And Then I Read A Book - Alternative Version
CD2-9 Ulcragyceptimol - Alternative Version
CD2-10 It's Better This Way - Alternative Version
CD2-11 The Associate
CD2-12 A Girl Named Property
CD2-13 Grecian 2000
CD2-14 Party Fears Two - 7"
CD2-15 Club Country - 7"
CD2-16 18 Carat Love Affair
CD2-17 Love Hangover - Extended Version

Associates Live - The Peel Sessions:

CD3-1 Me, Myself and the Tragic Story
CD3-2 Nude Spoons
CD3-3 A Matter Of Gender
CD3-4 It's Better This Way
CD3-5 Ulcragyceptimol
CD3-6 Waiting for the Love Boat
CD3-7 Australia
CD3-8 Love Hangover
CD3-9 A Severe Case of Career Insecurity
Associates Live - Gigant, Apeldoorn 10/01/81
CD3-10 Arrogance Gave Him Up
CD3-11 A Matter Of Gender
CD3-12 Nude Spoons
CD3-13 Paper House
CD3-14 No
CD3-15 And Then I Read A Book
CD3-16 Gloomy Sunday
CD3-17 It's Better This Way
CD3-18 Skipping
CD3-19 Australia

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The Golden Palominos – "A History: Vol. 1 (1982-1985)" (Mau Mau Records – MAUCD 625) 1992

Fuckin' 'ell Anton Fier,of virtually every band that was worthwhile in New York and Cleveland in the 80's bur primarily the mainstay of The Golden Palominos ,has also kicked the bucket;but in this case it was an 'assisted' bucket kicking in one of those dodgy 'non-profit' clinics in Switzerland,Dignitas innit? Of which I saw no mention anywhere.

He wasn't ill apparently. He just decided he'd had enough. He couldn't drum as well as he wanted anymore and said he felt he had achieved everything he wanted and it was time to go. I thought that kind of behavior was illegal if you weren't ill?...or was he? It's been a long time since he had a record out? Did he have some degenerative disease or summut? The drummer with Strobe Talbot has MS,and discovered that by forcing himself to drum,he could regain his cognitive abilities on said instrument......!?...Maybe Anton was a tad hasty with his decision to top himself at the age of 66! What's the point of suicide anyway, we have eternity to be be dead,and we were all dead for an eternity before we were born.Wrong decision Anton. There are plenty of children getting their heads blown off by a bunch of Russian Wankstains who would love to have swapped places.

The list of groups bands and soloists that Anton has added his drumming and artistic skills to is far too long,and boring to list here (Pere Ubu blah blah blah....),but the most Anton-centric of the lot has to be The Golden Palominos,who existed from 1981 to the twenty-teenies. So, as the best days of any band, are the early days, I have decided to post a compilation of the those very ''Early days when he wasn't in 'The Feelies'.

The understated, and under reported, method of his passing,was also a tribute to the man,having never sold out to the commercial opportunities of someone who could boast a Cv as long and comprehensive as Anton Fier's....you know I still dunno how to pronounce his name!?..insult or tribute, you decide.

Here's the legal Swiss  bumpf on assisted suicide from non-selfish motives.It's legal, if, for example, lethal drugs are prescribed and the intended recipient takes an active role in the drug administration? Sounds a bit dodgy to me, but who am I to stop anyone from deciding for themselves when they can end all this surreal madness at a time of their choosing.

He leaves us with a vast legacy of work,some of which is on this early nineties compilation,that even boasts Michael Stipe and John Lydon as guest vocalists,...i'll cease the name dropping and present to you this rather fancy compilation of some genuinely great downtown Noo yawk fancy-pants music...sophisticated and experimental,so you can bet yer bottom dollar that Bill Laswell is hanging out waiting for the photo ops...you know the crowd,Zorn, Lindsey, Laswell etc,the kind of downtown sophisticates that people like us should curtsy to if allowed within their golden auras. 

Quite a bit of the later tracks sound like that terrible PiL album,called 'Album'...mainly because it had...you guessed it Bill Laswell on it...and the drums, played by the late Anton himself,reminds one of the (uncredited) drumming on 'Album',which i had previously presumed was shared by twin legends,Tony Williams and Ginger Baker....by this evidence it was Anton Fier who did the drumming and skillfully avoided a credit in the process;and also why Lydon makes an appearance on this comp, from just around the time he was making that offending disc to confirm to himself,and those dumb enough to think Levene and Wobble made the music in PiL, his own genius....or lack of therein.

Tracklist:

1 Hot Seat
2 Under The Cap
3 Monday Night
4 Cookout
5 I.D.
6 Two Sided Fist
7 Boy (Go)
8 Clustering Train
9 Omaha
10 The Animal Speaks
11 Silver Bullet
12 (Kind Of) True
13 Buenos Aires
14 Only One Party

"Anton Fier is no longer playing drums." (Syd Straw)

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Etron Fou Leloublan – "Les Poumons Gonflés" (Turbo Music S.A. – TMSA 3301) 1982

Okay, it had to happen,the french drummer bloke who was in Les Batteries,Guigou Chenevier, gained his fame from playing les batteries in the Rock In Opposition monsters, Etron Fou Leloublan......rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

Rock In opposition,or RIO, is really a more marketable title for Prog Rock of the more Avant variety,which became yet another category after Henry Cow's original RIO festival during those crazy punky rock years of 1978 upwards.So an obvious Punky influence was absorbed into these Avant-proggers repertoire.Shorter,opinionated and angrier versions of the progressive type. Quite a few of those post-punk chaps would have fitted in quite well methinks,but the clothes were bad,so they kept away.

Weird time signatures, played by a drummer sight reading music from a lectern positioned visibly by the Hi-Hat to show the dangerously hippified audience that 'we ain't just making this up y'know!'

Etron Fou Leloublan do all this stuff,ticking all the RIO boxes,but bare in mind that these groovy garcons are indeed French, so you should expect some of that 'orrible screechy shouting that their pallets tend to enunciate from time to time through no fault of their own.I blame the parents....who were probably Artists and as a consequence of this delusion,also bastards.

Anyway I chose this album, because it has a song called Nicolas on it, which is my real world given name,and having spent a week in a French hospital once with a collapsed lung,"Les Poumons Gonflés"(the inflated lungs) has a special ring to it.

 

Tracklisting:

1.Nicolas 4:06
2.Mimi 2:58
3.Exposition Universelle 1:41

4.Nicole 5:42
5.La Musique 3:05
6.Christine 6:46
7.Those Distant Waters 3:24
8.Upsalla 2:05
9.Io Prefero 4:29
10.Pas L'sou 3:11

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Fall Of Saigon – "Fall Of Saigon 1981-1984" (Gazul Records – GA8851) 2011

No its not a North Vietnamese Fall tribute band!

It's frenchy Minimalist composer Pascal Comelade,moonlighting with his minimalist pop trio named after a This Heat tune. 

Harboring a knowing glance in the direction of Young Marble Giants,and maybe even..... Weekend? 

Pascal is not shy of wearing his influences on his sleeve....that's him on the right there,with influenced sleeves rolled up,trendily, to the elbows.I remember when the Style Council used to do self-consciously french things like that,such as wearing,(or rather NOT wearing) a cardigan tossed stylishly over the shoulders and tying the sleeves into a loose knot atop a Breton inspired polo shirt.You can take the boy out of Woking,but you can't take the Woking out of the boy.....but you do have to leave Woking if you wanna wear a Breton top....fact!

There also a version of my funeral theme tune on here, The TV Personalities' classic "Part-Time Punks",further emphasizing Pascal's fondness for "les Rostbif pop",especially it seems Kevin Ayers too....which i think stems largely from the fact that posh Boy Kevin had a handy grasp of French thanks to the British Public school system. And as we all know,if you slot anything French or in French into an English pop tune you have a career for life..... in France!...just ask Sting.

However, similarly, the Brit's love to hear a French bird singing in Engleesh, which surprisingly didn't lead to Indie success in grey old foggy Albion.They could have stuck to it a bit longer, but i think Pascal had other things in mind for himself,embarking on a prolific solo career that continues to this day.

The other French musical commandment that has been observed here on this compilation,is the obligatory Doors homage.Every household in France has a Doors Album, or Zer Doorsss as they call them.They all think Morrison was a poet....in fact Morrison thought he was a poet too,maybe even a great poet?So as he died and was buried in Paris,this means that their hero is now French,so Zer Doorsss are forever enshrined in marble and stone among the elect of French art and culture......Would i be out of order to suggest that they can flaming well have him...slash...them? Plenty more where he came from.

Nonetheless, this version of "The End" is actually rather good?

The End!

Track Listing:

1.Visions 2:21

2.Blue Eyes 2:08

3.She Leaves Me All Alone 4:22

4.So Long 2:28

5.On The Beach At Fontana 3:22

6.The Swimmer 2:15

7.The Model 3:21

8.Part Time Punks3:12

9.The End 9:43

10.Andalucia 2:02

11.I'll Never Be Back 4:54

12.Sha La La La 2:58

13.Let It Go 2:41

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