Alternative ‎– "If They Treat You Like Shit - Act Like Manure" (Corpus Christi ‎– Christ It's 13) 1984

Ay up....it's only the Scottish Crass innit? Just like the Skids were the Scottish Sex Pistols,but were in fact, very good indeed,whereas Alternative are an alternative to nothing at all. Yes they sound exactly like,look like, Crass but without useful Essex boy on shouty vocals. And, oooh look, they didn't like Thatcher,who liberated more working class than any posh Anarchist ever did. Maggie gave us a national wage long before it was ever mooted in the political mainstream in the form of paid mass unemployment,liberated swathes of Yorkshiremen (The very same Tetley Bittermen that Seething Wells used to go on about) from underground slavery,and gave away houses to the lower stratum of society. Three very Anarchist policies. Without Mrs T your scribe would have been stuck in a factory for the last forty years,and now on a zero hours slave contract in an Amazon warehouse,alongside the grandchildren of those Tetly Bittermen who'd preferred them to have been stuck down a coal mine instead. Unlike Penny Rimbaud and mates I won't be entitled to a pension after i'm 67 (correct at the time of writing!)...I've gotta work until I die,mainly thanks to the new anti-Thatcherite conservatives that the very same liberated working class idiots in the north of England who voted for Johnson and his government of lying Cunts!?...can you fucking believe IT!? Lying is something that Thatcher never did....she told you what she was gonna do and did it.

'Big Sister is watching You' it says....turns out she wasn't,but they fucking are Now!

One plus point ,however ,is that Alternative are certainly NOT Posh. So, as usual, they had the joy of the Posher members of Crass inflicting themselves on these useful working class black clad proles,bring in their own drummer (Rimbaud), guitarist (Peter Wright) and ex-finishing school for young ladies screecher Annie Anxiety.Producing it for them...not that they asked! Trevor Horn did the same for Frankie Goes to Hollywood I believe.

I think it was Rimbaud's stealthy way of continuing Crass after they had split up...which was a lie it seems.Find some star-struck Crass worshipping anarcho-punk clones from 'oop norf',then take-over.....life after death Anarcho-Punk style.

And you just know that they are 100% certain they are 'Right',or in football language 120%.Its an effect of the British Public School 'System System System', just like Oswald Moseley,super Posh, and Super fascist, knew he was irrevocably corrrrrect. How wrong could they be?

I do however, have a soft spot for most of this Anarcho-Punk stuff however,in the same way that i get a nostalgic glow for my lost innocence when i watch Childrens TV from my own childhood. There is something so unerringly charming about the pointless adolescence of this toytown utopia that these kids,plus Penny Rimbaud,had built for themselves in their own minds.All they had to do was ask Thatcher to give them a council estate and they could have made it real. Reality is something quite frightening when your dreams are transported into bricks and mortar......but,there's always a 'but' isn't there? Crass didn't want to live in the sewers they sang about,they bought a big house in the Essex countryside far away from the underclass's who would have kicked their collective backsides back to their Trustafarian country retreats.

The album's title is a rather cringing and vain attempt at emulating Flux Of Pink Indians' "The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks",which is one of the best album titles ever or what? Discuss?

Where are YOUR Hiroshimas eh?

Mine are in someones else's dystopia, not mine.

Tracklist:

A1 Another Subversive Peace Song
A2 Seen Through Tear Filled Eyes
A3 Mannequin
A4 Now I Realize
A5 How Many Times Sold?
A6 Love And Life
B1 If You've Got It......Don't
B2 Till Death Do You Part
B3 Death Isn't So Sweet
B4 Caroline's Carnival
B5 Suffer In Silence
B6 Struggling Through The Darkness
B7 Ireland
B8 Where Are Your Hiroshimas?

DOWNLOAD if they treat you like shit act like Crass HERE!

The Snipers ‎– "Three Peace Suite" (Crass Records ‎– 321984/4) 1981

One of the better single releases on Crass Records was by the mysterious 'Snipers' from Oxford(Snipers are usually mysterious are they not?)......probably the official  Oxford University Anarcho-Punk band knowing the average profile of yer average Crass associated combo.

They're having another go at Religion again by the sounds of things. That should prick up the ears of Der Fuhrer in the producer's chair, Penny Rimbaud,or, in his usual pseudo self-effacing style, Penny Zenvy,as written in the credits for this release.He's ever so 'umble ain't he guv'nor?

They don't like War as well as Religion it seems....never heard that before on a Crass related release.

They ask the relevant questions anyway,namely who created God? Which,considering the Deity's two thousand year long silence, is an acceptable question which deserves an answer.Maybe he/it/she's just shy? So the next time a smug monotheist asks us de facto agnostics ,laughing, How can everything be made (snigger) from nothing? That's what your lying Scientists are saying" HaHaHa......?Yeah but,Who were your God's parents eh clever clogs?.......anyway, you misunderstand that something from nothing in theoretical physics terms doesn't mean actually 'Nothing', for Space is in fact jammed full of elemental particles and other stuff that has been proven to spark into life in laboratory conditions.Whereas no such evidence exists,in the slightest, of any God popping up from nothing recently...in fact Ever!

I have received a couple of death threats recently from Qanon and the american Taliban types,and I fully encourage the silly bastards to add to my collection as soon as possible.Just the kind of thing their Christ,God's parents Grandson, would have said in the Bible 2,as re-translated by Sylvester Stallone and Mel Glibson for a new epic Netflix flop.

And Jesus H. Christ said to the sniveling atheist scum,"This .44 Magnum says you're going to Hell unbeliever!If you see Charles Darwin down there,tell him he's next!"....before you ask how can you kill someone who's already dead, this is purely satirical...unlike some recent commets left on this blog!?

Even David Koresh's surviving Kids only politely called me a Total Fucking Asshole once,rather than saying that Death is too good for me. Maybe they're just worried about ones godless ways and want me to go to paradise for eternity,...er...with THEM!!!???...Help me kind Satan and give me eternal darkness.

Eternity is a long time, once said a noted philosopher (Woody Allen), especially near the end! Imagine going to a party that you can never leave!?....about half an hour at most 'parties' and I'm crawling up the walls to escape!

Even more Ironic is the rather obvious message scratched into the run out grooves of this single:

THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO IGNORE THE PAST....ARE CONDEMNED TO REPEAT IT!?
Rather like all those anarcho-punk bands who spent the intervening years from Crass's inception repeating Crass's first album.....for eternity!!?......just imagine a Crass concert that you are NEVER allowed to leave? The Infinite Crass Gig.....with Chumbawumba as support!.....in Hell it's just Chumbawumba!!!!!!! Kill me now...in fact don't! I have no desire to die with that prospect of eternal torture....please take me in your comforting arms sweet oblivion.Oh Quiet blank nothingness erase my soul,starting with my ears first if you don't mind?

Ahhhh Peace at last!

Tracklist:

A The Parents Of God
B1 3 Piece
B2 Nothing New

DOWNLOAD the god genome HERE!

Penny Rimbaud ‎– "Christ's Reality Asylum" (Crass Records ‎– CATNO 10C) 1992

 Good looking lad was Penny, the Chuck Manson of Anarchy,but as if Kirk Douglas was transcribed into the role of 'Johnny Rotten' in Alex Cox's dismal Sid and Nancy,as adapted for Radio Four's 'A Book at Bedtime'.

Here, the velvet voiced leader of the Anarchists,applies to be the leader of the Anti-christs, masturbating with Jesus against the wall of  Gethsemane. Jerry show's a rare ability to say 'Clitoris' without sniggering, as he describes rude goings on with Notre Dame and her masochistic son. Between the sex scenes it becomes clear that Christ's name is writ large above the gates of Auschwitz ......there you go, I mentioned the 'A' word,so the Holocaust Denial Algorithm has been triggered.So lets not disappoint them,as Christs name was indeed tattooed all over the genocide,like the myth's of human skin lampshades, but not whispered in the Soviet built gas chamber that Atrocity Tourists are told is the real thing......fact....the real thing is,allegedly, the pile of rubble just off the guided tour's well-trodden path. As Jeremy says, "Truth is a personal ghetto".

This endurance testing spoken word anti-christian missive is full of great quotes like that,and there's no doubt Rimbaud fancies himself as a bit of a poet,but there's something of the English O'Level failure about this taboo testing monologue that's just a bit toe-curling,but more comfortable to listen to than the version played out by one of the Crass Posh Birds on the single version......." I Vomit for you Jesu!"

I know Rimbaud was a randy old sod,who dangled 'Punk' credibility like a bag of sweeties and a promise to see his puppies. This tasty carrot led to his squat,forward slash,commune, at Dial House to be swarming with confused,impressionable young spiky tops. There, it was Rimbaud who was nailed to his own Cross,and no doubt every day they were subjected to his daily sermon on the mount,but re-located to the holylands of Essex in 1979. I'm not suggesting that our Pen had a rampaging case of Messiah Syndrome, but I sense he may be slightly envious of Jesus H.Christ,whatever he,or it,was.They both seem to refuse to die,despite Rimbaud's plea's.

Side A,"The Veil Of Mother" is in fact a rather good piece of prose, assassinating ,finally, the myth of Christ, but with added mucky stuff. This guy should have been an actor instead of a cult leader.Larry Olivier couldn't have done any better.Rimbaud's pronunciation of "Auchwitz" is second only to Sir Laurence's narrations for "The World At War".I would love to see Sir Jeremy as Henry The Fifth.....with a few adaptations of the bard's holy words to include,with some help from his IRA buddies, the creation of an Anarchist republic preceding Henry's death on his own cross.Then came the executions.

Side B ,"The Veil Of Father" isn't quite as poetic, as it stoops to the obvious state control angle, and...choke..Politics! Like a twentieth century translation of the King James Bible.It's a bit cringe,....quite true...but bleeding obvious innit? Jerry does refer to himself in the third person a lot,which he can excuse away as referring to himself as Jeremy John Ratter,before he chose his own identity as Penny Rimbaud....the Penny bit coming from his brother who called him,quite accurately as it happens, a toilet Seat Philosopher.

It does, however, feature a short appearance of Zippy from Rainbow as an american newsreader,and is ,altogether, a seductive journey into popular post-truth political philosophy for the casual BBC book at bedtime listener...who,likely, already agrees 100% with Rimbaud's rantings,oozing from the speakers like molten chocolate.

I wanna be an Anarchist  too...they scream,as they scratch their 'X',or their 'cross', in the liberal-Democrat box.

I'd be an Anarchist too if I wasn't the bloody minded Nihilist bastard that I am.

Tracklist:

A The Veil Of Mother 45:00
B The Veil Of Father 43:00

DOWNLOAD christ from his cross HERE!

Dirt ‎– "Never Mind Dirt - Here's The Bollocks" (Crass Records ‎– 221984-7) 1982

Pay a lot less than two quid at the bottom of the page. Now that's real Anarchy for ya!

Wherever you find a bird to lure into bed with cod philosophy, soap box poetry ,and the ability to talk non-stop about oneself, you will find a great crested Rimbaud permanently in mating season. Rustling among the patching cables, waiting for the moment the innocent punkette,his prey, is suitably impressed enough for him to reveal his spiky haired mating plumage,he will pounce . That said,here The Rimbaud is noticeable by his absence .Where once he would be seen barking orders and strutting around the studio like a washed out black and grey army-surplus peacock, the producer's chair was surrendered, to the Crass Bass player, Peter Right.!? However, the Drummer in DIRT,the charmingly named,'Shit',although not by his doting parents I should add, plays with an uncanny similarity to the technique,or lack of technique, that the Leader of the Anarchists, Peni Rimmer Beau, himself utilises..Whether the lady anarchess was of the type to like someone with real talent,and Penny chose to impressed her with his Boys Brigade band drumming style, is up for conjecture;but like most Cult leaders his tsunami of all about 'moi' verbal diarrhea ,is strictly a distraction from most powerful men's objective numero uno.....which is....can you guess?....fucking!

My Tv's busted, so one evening i found myself watching a conversation on You Tube, with Penny Rimbaud by some anarcho-punk lick spittle,during which Peni referred to his lessening need to search out 'Fanny' these days.....he is 78 after all? But... Boy can this fucker talk?He also boasted about having the IRA over to Dial House to discuss revolution teamwork.....very right on, chatting with murderers about arming Chumbawumba as they storm the suburbs sounds just like my idea of what Anarchy really means innit?

DIRT,or "Death Is Reality Today",are yer standard Anarchp-Punk Crass-a-likes from back in the day, except they have a screechy female shouter,something the Crass's did themselves on "Penis Envy",to show that they weren't misogynists, and,allegedly, to piss off the Punks who complained about the posh-female contributors to the Crass sound. And they really stuck it to those chauvinist crass cult members by promptly sacking off those very same posh females and reinstating Steve Ignorant for the next album.That's sticking up for the sisters  innit? A classic tactic for wannabe cult leader in search of,in his own words, 'Fanny'.

The title is yet another philosophy of envy slag off of the Pistols pun.Alas it is ironic,not for any ideological straying,but for the fact that Lydon has recently mentioned how much he admires Crass for keeping going and not giving a fuck what haters ,like me, have to say about them....well....you know that you must be doing something very wrong once Rotten Johnny starts bigging you up.

In the same rancid breath he also volunteered glowing praise for The Exploited too!?....Hmmmmm...I have no more to say!?

Tracklist:

A1 Deaf In Reality
A2 SlaughterHouse Rock
A3 Canvey Island
A4 Bully
A5 Unemployment
A6 Another Filled Hole
A7 Democracy
B1 Public Execution
B2 Lables
B3 6.35
B4 Master Race
B5 Land Of The Rising Sun

DOWNLOAD never mind the sex pistols 'cus it could have been us...but it wasn't....HERE!

Poison Girls ‎– "Hex" and "Chappaquiddick Bridge" (Crass Records 421984/9 & 421984/2PG) 1979/80

The forty something mother of two of the Fatal Microbes was the lead snarler of The Poison Girls, Vi Subversa. She broke the mould by starting a rock career after the age of 25, in fact she was 40,slightly chubby, saggy round the jowls and a marketing man's nightmare. Its normal nowadays to be pushing forty to be in a group, nobody batts a droopy eyelid. Mothers in bondage can rebel too, and she was the first to do it......it's also known as having a mid-life crisis by the way.
As much as I don't like seeing a bunch of old blokes 'rocking out', one has to admire them for it. I saw a video of the Angelic Upstarts playing all the 'hits'at the 100 club a year or so ago, and they look like a bunch of Arthur Mullards socking it to an audience of Les Dawson's and Hylda Bakers with dyed pink hair and biker jackets(Fuck me! Mensi looks like some kind of lizard with a pot belly and a flat cap!?). Its no different to my mum and dad going to see the James Last Orchestra in the 1970's......yep there's nothing like moving on is there?
I'd love to see/hear James Last doing a 'Punk' medley of 'Anarchy in the UK','White Riot' and 'Ca Plane Pour Moi", wouldn't you?.....far more subversive than the 'real' thing.
The nearest I could find is Herr Last knocking out Hawkwind's classic, 'Silver machine' and Alice Cooper's 'School's Out',sandwiching T-Rex's "Children of the Revolution".....never before have Marc Bolan's poignant words been more relevant,yet, irrelevant at the same time,.....enjoy:)

Vi died last year i am told,still 'rocking' at the age of 80.
She did however, spawn half of the Fatal Microbes, whom she got a single deal for with her influence at Small Wonder; who said there is no nepotism in the Anarcho-Punk scene?.....probably isn't any Anarchy or Punk either, but don't let that put you off....well in fact yes, let it put you off.

Check this charming duet at an Anarcho-Punk free festival, between Vi Subversa and Mensi, 'punking' up "You're the one that I want" from 'Grease'

Oh Yeah!...and what are the Poison Girls' records like?....who gives a fuck really....they're alright i suppose....not as good as James Last driving the final nail in the coffin of Rock with his revolution rock medley.He had an incredible talent for draining every ounce of energy and life out of anything he got his hands on. He inflicts more damage on the Rock'n'Roll myth in five minutes than the Punk movement has managed in 40 years!

TRACK LISTING:

"Hex":
A1 Old Tarts Song
A2 Crisis
A3 Ideologically Unsound
A4 Bremen Song
B1 Political Love
B2 Jump Mama Jump
B3 Under The Doctor
B4 Reality Attack


"Chappaquiddick Bridge":
A1 Another Hero
A2 Hole In The Wall (Thisbe's Song)
A3 Underbitch
A4 Alienation
B1 Pretty Polly
B2 Good Time (I Didn't Know Sartre Played Piano)
B3 Other
B4 Daughters And Sons

DOWNLOAD a fuming mad Hylda Baker fronting Crass tribute band HERE!

Fatal Microbes / Honey Bane - "The Singles Collection" (1979 - 1982)"

My late suicided childhood buddy(Tomo), who sold me his punk records for cheap when he went Northern Soul because 'Punk' had gone 'commercial';had a copy of The Fatal Microbes "Violence Grows" glued to the ceiling of his bedroom (his attempt at aesthetics I guess?) ; along with a few other singles/ceiling tiles I expressed a desire to purchase. I got 'Jocko Homo' by Devo on Stiff, 'Do the Standing Still' by The Table, "Sick Of You" by the Users, and Some Chicken's classic "New Religion/Blood on the Wall", both of them on original Raw Records. 10 new pence each secured me all these damaged goods along with the work of genius that is the 'Violence Grows EP'.
The Devo, Users and Some Chicken disc's were undamaged, except a bit of glue on the labels
But The B-side of the Fatal Microbes EP was unplayable due to the evo-stik in the grooves used to stick it to the ceiling. 
'Violence Grows'however, shone like a waxy leaf in a Saharan oasis. One of the best 10p's I ever spent.
I never heard the two tracks on the reverse until twenty years later, and I wasn't disappointed.
Obviously the Session musicians used on side one were not utilized for these two tracks, exposing the wonderful naivety of the music, as played by The Poison Girls' middle-aged leader Vi Subversa's kids; Gem Stone(15) and Pete Fender(14) (both later of the incredibly tasteless 'Rubella Ballet'). If these kids were born to anyone else, they would have probably listened to Disco music and gone to do a B-Tec at Polytechnic. A proud testament to the need for a sound parental influence....even if it was an Anarcho-Hippie one.

The lead singer of 'Fatal Microbes' was none other than 14 year old super-chav punkette, Honey Bane. Who went on to record another classic single for Crass Records, the "You Can Be You EP".Largely helped by various Crass members; who i hope kept their filthy hippy hands to themselves while in the presence of this vulnerable young lady.She was the victim of many a lecherous 'Punk' Svengali after Fatal Microbes split up,and whilst on the run from the Social Services; including ex-jonathan King buddy Jimmy Pursey (he used to attend King's Disco's/Hop's for kids in the mid-70's, where the despicable convicted peadophile committed the majority of his crimes;it wouldn't surprise me if the impressionable Jimmy didn't get a severe sodomising in return for showbiz perks?). Patrik Fitzgerald is in print admitting to such line crossing indulgence's....hopefully after Honey turned 16!
(We're Still waiting for Operation Yew Tree to turn their ruthless spotlight onto Pop music...Macca,Jimmy Page,Wyman...they're just the obvious ones.The jails won't be big enough)
As wonderful as Bane's first two Singles were, once Pursey took her under his wing it became some reprehensible attempt to be a new 'Toyah', but without Wilcox's obvious intelligence.Incredibly terrible new wave disco of the worst possible kind.
To know what a terrible mistake it was to have a post Sham 69 Pursey holding the final word in creative control,watch the YouTube clip of this secretly middle class stage school 'Punk' fake, doing some contemporary dance on a BBC2 arts show in 1981....(PLEASE CLICK HERE!YOU WON'T REGRET IT)....;a real working class yob ,Billy Connolly ,was also a guest on the show, and he exhorted to young James after his little dance; "What the fucking hell were you doing?????!"
Well I apologise for the majority of the shit on the Honey bane Singles Collection, but its worth it for the first six tracks;"Turn Me On, Turn Me Off" isn't too awful, in a cheesy kind of way I suppose.Ironically the phrase written in ransom note lettering cliché style,and printed on the back of the Crass records EP,namely: "And a big Piss Off to the Music Biz".....soon afterwards became 'Please make me into a minor new wave star please music biz,I'll do anything!!!'
This pathetic hypocrisy was not uncommon in those days.

TRACK LISTING:

Fatal Microbes:

Violence Grows
Beautiful Pictures
Cry Baby

Honey Bane:
Girl On The Run
Porno Grows
Boring Conversations
Guilty
Guilty Dub
Turn Me On Turn Me Off
In Dreams
Negative Exposure
Ain't Nobody's Business
Baby Love
Mass Production
Jimmy Listen To Me
Jimmy Listen To Me (alt Mix)
Wish I Could Be Me
Childhood Prince

DOWNLOAD Honey from the Hive Mind HERE!

The Cravats ‎– "The Colossal Tunes Out" (Corpus Christi ‎– Christ it's 8) 1983

As much as the idea of Crass depresses me, they did however have a very independant label, which amongst the dross,and awful Crass stuff, released some classic records, like Rudimentary Peni's "EP's" compilation, and a singles collection by The Cravats called "The Colossal Tunes Out".
As we all know, The Cravats had a saxophone in the line up; so what happens if someone plays a saxophone in a rock based format?...yep...they get the Jazz suffix applied to their genre label.
In the poor unfortunate Cravats case, they got labelled as 'Jazz Punk'!!?? Have these people ever heard any Jazz?
X-Ray Spex never got called 'Jazz Punk' did they? Niether did Theatre of Hate! Not even Jazz Goth was mentioned.(I'd love to see an actual Jazz-Goth group,can't think of a more incompatible coupling).
Jazz encompasses the art of the 'unexpected note',and an uncertain quota of improvisation;not just any musical ensemble with a sax in it. Neither of these traits can be applied to The Cravats, but they did have a sax player, amusingly called Svor Naan, who's sax playing followed the X-ray Spex template, playing melody lines rigidly adhering to a predetermined song structure.
The unexpected part of The Cravats was how unique sounding they were amongst the Post-Punk herds.Mainly due to their Dada-esque leanings, and The Shend's unhinged vocals.
This compilation's high points are undoubtedly "You're Driving Me", and the paranoid classic "Rub Me Out";previously released as singles on Small Wonder and Crass records respectively.
One of the stand-out and most relevant acts of the early eighties.

Tracklist:

A1 –Off The Beach
A2 –Terminus
A3 –Firemen
A4 –The Station
A5 –Working Down Underground
A6 –I Am The Dreg
A7 –You're Driving Me
B1 –There Is No International Rescue
B2 –And The Sun Shone
B3 –Ice cubists
B4 –Rub Me Out
B5 –Daddy's Shoes
B6 –When Will We Fall

DOWNLOAD these colossal tunes HERE!

Rudimentary Peni ‎– "Death Church" (Corpus Christi ‎– CHRIST IT'S 6/Outer Himalayan Records ‎– BOOBOO 4) 1983

This has to be one of my 10 Desert Island Discs. As near a perfect embodiment of the Punk Rock myth that one could possibly find. The song "Rotten To The Core" simply encapsulates the betrayal us teenagers felt when our favourite Punk legends turned out to be hypocrites of the first order.
I don't usually print out lyrics,or even read them, but here goes:

Have you Realised that Rock Stars
Always seem to lie so much?
John Lydon once said he cared
But he never really gave a fuck
Said he'd use the money he made
So that people would have somewhere to go
But now he lives in the USA
and Snorts Coke after the Show.

Why is it that Rock Stars
Always seem to lie so much?
Joe Strummer once said he cared,
but he never really gave a fuck
Said he'd use the money he made
To set up a radio station to make the
Airwaves full of something more than Shit
Have you noticed we're still Waiting?

You must realise that Rock Stars
Always seem to lie so much
Some will always tell you that they care,
But they don't really give a fuck,
Still you suckers don't ever learn
That rock stars deal in money not truth
It's good Business to exploit you
Just look at Lydon or Strummer for Proof.

A bit sixth form poetry in style, but the sentiments are spot on.Kids who were my age(13-16) during the Punk Rock explosion from 76 to 78, believed in these traitors.It was more than a rock'n'roll revival for us. It was a rejection of normality,of the bland,the hum drum, of the, to quote Lie-don, "Old Order"; but they just repeated all the same Sex,Drugs and Rock'n'Roll mistakes.It was more than that for us kids.

I remember the disappointment when i heard these liars did drugs, and don't get me started on what a cock Sid Vicious was.The face that launched a thousand clones.

Lydon was full of great soundbytes, but all he wanted was a Future. A healthy bank balance ,some real estate in Chelsea,and live the Rock Star dream in LA! How he managed to make such perfect records like "Metal Box" and "First Issue", I'll never work out. His enormous ego destroyed one of the most perfect groups that ever walked this planet...yes, PiL; not the fucking Sex Pistols! And now he's every middle aged mums favourite cute interviewee, chatting with TV idiots like the hideous Piers Morgan, and the idiotic Graham Norton among many others; "Ah isn't he luvleh?".....er...NO!

The kids who turned into punk sheep didn't escape Rudi P's disdain either, as the information sheet that came with the initial release included the following quote, "There's nothing I find more tedious than the rows of identical painted leather jackets - how moronic".

Now..... "Death Church"; what more can I say? It exists like a savage bee in your inner ear. Its haunted visions are fleshed out in Blinko's creepy black and white drawings that permeate this superb package; and his simple but devastatingly dark and incisive lyrics.

Some bright spark labelled this music "Deathrock", which kinda sells it short as some type of stupid Lesser Black Metal nonsense; its far more intelligent,unique, and downright demented than that.

RP releases seemed to come when Nick was not wasting away in a mental ward, and if anything, his artwork alone, is a prime example of tortured genius; dare I say a punk rock equivalent of Van Gogh?.....or Van Goth (please excuse the dreadful pun).

"Three quarters of the world are starving

The rest are dead.

Overdosed on insensitivity
Nail varnished to crosses"

(1/4 Dead)

Tracklist:

Corpus Christi Side

A1 ¼ Dead
A2 Blissful Myth
A3 The Psycho Squat
A4 Rotten To The Core
A5 Poppycock
A6 Cosmic Hearse
A7 The Cloud Song
A8 Vampire State Building
A9 Blasphemy Squad
A10 When You Are A Martian Church
A11 Pig In A Blanket 

Rudimental Human Side

B1 Inside
B2 Nothing But A Nightmare
B3 Flesh Crucifix
B4 Slimy Member
B5 Love Is Not
B6 Radio Schizo
B7 Happy Farm
B8 Alice Crucifies The Paedophiles
B9 Army Of Jesus
B10 Dutchmen

DOWNLOAD the rudiments of proper punk rock HERE!

Rudimentary Peni ‎– "Farce EP" (Crass Records ‎– 221984/2) 1982

This is naturally weird music. It goes way beyond the boredom of the hardcore punk template, like a ominously dark scream of anguish. UK hardcore never quite matched its US relations between 1981 and 85 for either musicianship or brutal intensity, but it did have the more uniquer and stranger angles, like Rudimentary Peni and Discharge (who I think are quite bizarre?), counter balanced by the dumb and dumber end of the Exploited and GBH.Anarcho-punk was conspicuous by its total absence stateside, probably because that was equated with the commie left wing to the american mindset. Or maybe the constant soapboxing by organized anarchy commune dwellers Crass put off the spoilt Americans.It certainly put me off,even though their own DIY aesthetic, the Farce EP included, has to be admired.
Things Hardcore got weirder in the UK after 1985 with the grindcore bands like the bizarre Napalm Death. The sticker on their debut LP "Scum" declared them as the official worlds fastest band, but I reckon nerdy Indie pop stars The Wedding Present were faster,or certain parts of The Nightingales,notably their guitarist.
Now, who invented Hardcore?.....I Reckon it was The Victims from Australia, although Wire have a very strong claim for 'Pink Flag' which undoubtedly influenced The Middle Class as the first US Hardcore band; not forgetting The Damned for first bringing speed for speeds sake into the equation.
Rudimentary Peni take the prize as the most creepy,darkest and disturbing of all the 'hardcore' type groups in the third wave crop of Punk Rock.Gothcore, Deathrock, whatever you want to call it, this band are definitely very unique.

Tracklist:

A1 Sacrifice
A2 Cosmetic Plague
A3 Subdued Violence
A4 Only Human
A5 The Bile Ball
A6 Farce
B1 Bloody Jellies
B2 Mice Race
B3 Defined By Age
B4 Zero Again
B5 Bubble

 DOWNLOAD this bizarre farce if you can be arsed HERE!

Various Artists - "Bullshit Detector Volume 1,2,& 3." (Crass Records) 1980,'82,& '83

Fuck Me! Anarcho punk, (groan!); where do you start in explaining how such a depressing bunch of middle class hippies got turned into a uniformed movement that still exists in large numbers today!? It all sprang into existence through the misinterpretation of a single word in a hit single from 1976. The word in question was used mainly for its tabloid aping shock value. Frequently the cynical and illiterate hack journalists of the tabloid press, would use this word to portray 'Chaos' to spread 'the Fear'. Its a soundbite that conjures an image of Rioting, looting and rape in the conditioned minds of Daily Mail and Sun readers. This was the true meaning behind its use in The Sex Pistols "Anarchy in the UK"! It was absolutely not advocating the utopian theory of Anarchy as a viable future of all black clad white rasta's, before they inherited their fathers estate. Never before or since has a movement been based on such a dumb misconception as this, except maybe Soviet communism's misinterpretation of Marxism, and The Nazi's distorting of Nietzche's Uber mensch, maybe. Those two examples were rather fond of uniforms, symbols/insignia and mass hysteria like our Anarcho-punk chums! This is no coincidence methinks. The instigators of this 'movement' were none other than 'Banned from the Roxy' leg ends, Crass. Fine purveyors of truly awful punky music, and boasted the official Worst drummer ever. He was so bad that he made Palmolive look like Billy Cobham. Normally this is a Good thing of course, but coupled with their soap boxy piety, and self-righteous bleating, is a recipe for producing a gallon of projectile vomit. They did ,however, have a rather fine tune called "Do they owe us a Living"(included on Bullshit 1),as their first single; which if they split up after that was released, would have put them in the higher echelons of Punk Mythology. Unfortunately ,they carried on for another 6 years, giving us such DNA dissolving atrocities as "Reality Asylum", where we are treated to a patronising monologue on atheism, spouted by some posh bird who was obviously sent to some Catholic boarding school against her will, and is getting her own back on her MP daddy. Excuse the irony here......JEEEEEESSSSUSSSSS! The thing is that, I agree that 'They' do owe us a living, I also despise all religion, and there almost certainly isn't a god; but it all sounds so bleeding obvious, and worst of all I don't believe them. I suspect a bad case of alternative envy politics, ie they envy working class people. Steve ignorant was probably their token worker, but you never know with this lot! Yes Anarcho Punk looked awful(washed out black was never a good look),sounded awful, had depressing politics,but I have a cringing liking for these compilations of demo's from Crass fans and bands. Its a guilty pleasure of mine, along with Wings, Queens first album, and a Flock of Seagulls!? The recording quality of some of these demo's are abysmal, as in good abysmal! Some of these bands must have used tin cans with string for microphones! The guitar amps must have all had the cheapest transistors ever made, ones that would have been rejected by British Leyland in the 70's, and Renault in the noughties....yes that bad.......but a beautiful sound they do make for us. Even despicable Anarchy bores Chumbawumba's track is ,yes,Brilliant!!!???.....like a lost nugget from DIY land. (Chumbawumba anecdote: the Drummer in Year Zero records own Scouts of Uzbekistan, was in a crap group supporting them in the 80's, when these "Anarchists" told them to fuck off when they asked if they could use their sate of the art PA system! Yeah, the reality of anarchy is to abuse your power when you have it ,it seems.Wankers) The three Bullshit Detectors are crammed full of nasty fizzy no-fi punk rock, with the odd misanthropic poem thrown in! There's very little musical innovation on display here,and quite a lots of unabashed copying; lots of crass-a-likes and check out "Random relations" by Suspects on vol.2, which is a blatant impression of John Cooper-Clarke and the Invisible Girls!? Love these compilations(the best one is vol 2 in my opinion), but hate Crass and their clones; and you should too.

 Track Listing: 

Bullshit Detector Vol 1 (1980)

Bullshit Detector Vol. 1

- Andy T - "Jazz on a Summers Day" - Counter Attack - "Don't Wanna Fight For You" - The Alternative - "Change It" - Clockwork Criminals - "We Are You" - Reputations In Jeopardy - "Girls Love Popstars" - Crass - "Do They Owe Us a Living? (Drums and vocals only)" - Amebix - "University Challenged" - The Pranx - "Two Years Too Late" - The Sinyx - "Mark Of The Beast" - Frenzy Battalion - "Thalidomide" - Icon - "Cancer" - The Speakers - "Why?" - A.P.F. Brigade - "Anarchist Attack" - Fuck The C.I.A. - "Right or Wrong" - Caine Mutiny And The Kallisti Apples Of Nonsense - "Morning Star" - The Sucks - "Three" - Porno Squad - "Khaki Doesn't Go With My Eyes" - S.P.G. Murders - "Soldiers" - Eratics - "National Service" - Red Alert - "Who Needs Society?" - The Snipers - "War Song" - Armchair Power - "Power" - Disrupters - "Napalm" - Andy T - "Nagasaki Mon Amour" - Action Frogs - "Drumming Up Hope"

Bullshit Detector Vol 2 (1982) 

Bullshit Detector Vol. 2

Waiting For Bardot - "Voice of U.K." Omega Tribe - "Nature Wonder" The Suspects - "Random Relations" Your Funeral - "Think About It" Kronstadt Uprising - "Receiver Deceiver" Deformed - "Freedom" No Label - "Let's Get It Right" The Rejected - "Same Old Songs" Boffo - "Garageland" XS - "Fuck the System" Polemic Attack - "Manipulated Youth" A. Gardener - "A Gardener's Song" Toxic - "Tradition of Slaughter" 1984 - "Break Up" "Insert" Toxik Ephex - "Police Brutality" SIC - "Low" Molitov Cocktail - "Ain't Got a Clue" Naked - "Mid 1930's (Pre-War Germany)" Disc two Capital Punishment - "We've Realised the Truth Now" Anthrax - "All the Wars" Endangered Species - "Slaughter of the Innocent (Curiosity Kills)" Pseudo Sadists - "War Games" Total Chaos - "Psycho Analysis" Dougie - "War Without Winners" St. Vitus Dancers - "The Survivor" Stegz - "Christus Erection" Metro Youth - "Brutalised" Normality Complex - "Black Market Shadow" Youth In Asia - "Power & the Glory" Riot Squad - "Security System" Destructors - "Agent Orange" The Pits - "U.K. in Dreamland" The Bored - "Riot Style" Toby Kettle - "Theatre Comment" Chumbawamba - "Three Years Later" Passion Killers - "Start Again" Amerikan Arsenal - "Get Off Yr Ass"

Bullshit Detector Vol 3 (1984) 

Bullshit Detector Vol. 3

Avert Aversion - "Oh What a Nice Day" Awake Mankind - "Once Upon a Time" A Nul Noise - "Hibakusha" Animus - "Nuclear Piss" Peroxide - "Ministry of Death (M.O.D.)" Untitled - "We Are Taught How to Kill" Xtract - "Genocide" Verbal Assault - "Not Yet Ron" Fifth Column - "Counterfeit Culture" Potential Victims - "People" 7th Plague - "Rubber Bullets" Rebel - "Genesis to Genocide" Alienated - "Living in Fear" Barbed Wire - "Weapons of War" Rob Williams - "Lies" Reality Control - "The War is Over" Youthanasia PX - "Power" Sammy Rubette + Safety Match - "The Ballot of Maggie the Maggot" Politicide - "51st State" Markus Abused - "The Killing Machine" Disc two One Man's Meat - "Your Country Misleads You" Direct Action - "Death Without a Thought" Crag - "Voice Your Protest" Attrition - "In Your Hand" Napalm Death - "The Crucifixion of Possessions" The Impalers - "Sun, Sun, Sun" Health Hazard - "Picture Show" Phil Hedgehog - "Radio Times" Malice - "Faceless" Michael Kingzett Taylor - "Paranoia" Brainwashed Pupils - "The Demonstration" No Defences - "Work to Consume" A.N.E.E.B. - "Berlin Wall" Carnage - "Carnage" Warning - "Beasts of Fiction" State Of Shock - "Excess Youth" Neale Harmer - "Hard Nut" Dead To The World - "Action Man" Dandruff - "Life In a Whiskey Bottle" Richard III - "Will You Care?" Funky Rayguns - "The Hare and the Tortoise"

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