Various Artists – "Music Of The Ukraine" (Ethnic Folkways Library – FE 4443) 1951

Its got sleeve art like a Swans album,adorned with a black and white photo of what appears to be soviet Ukrainian relatives of Blitz era Spandau Ballet,yet it sounds like the soundtrack to "O'Brother Where Art Thou? 2", and showcases a glaring error, much repeated by us ignorant Westerners, referring to Ukraine as 'THE' Ukraine....It's just 'Ukraine' in fact, no 'THE' involved,or,indeed, needed.

There must have been a sizable influx of Ukrainians ,fleeing pogroms or revolution to the Appalachians in the first half of the 20th century,as this Ukrainian Folk could easily be some weird bluegrass from Harry Smith's anthology of American Folk. It's just lacking a few Toothless Donbas Dumbass Hillbillies,or some moonshine damaged hick called Blind Lemon Shevchenko dueling balalaika's and banjo's with Dock Boggs. There was certainly no British folk that sounded like this anyhow......not enough senseless slaughter going on in those sceptered isles it seemed, at least up until the potato famine that is; after which the terrors of Irish pixie dancing music were deliberately exported to the fledgling USA by the British governments attempt to starve Irish Dancing out of the empire for good.....then Michael Flatley happened and now its too late to do a Potato Famine two....we're stuck with it!

I'm struggling to locate any contemporary Ukrainian music that isn't generic and western via Moscow leaning.....but this shits weird! Get it before Putin erases the tapes and removed anything vaguely Ukrainian from the planet,while moaning about 'Cancel Culture'. Betraying a very well hidden literary intellect, this jawless,joyless, dwarf,intellectually and physically,desperately accuses the British Government of trying to cancel Harry Potter! That bunch of twerps are responsible for many things, but tragically not cancelling all things J.K.Rowling.They couldn't even get that right!? I honestly despair of them. Tax cuts for the Rich funded by eye watering borrowing requirements,and sweeping welfare cuts for the poor,yet they don't have the balls to cancel Harry Potter!??? What is this world coming to?.......a heavily irradiated ending it seems?.....but at least Harry Potter will cease to exist along with the rest of us? Happily there's a bright side before the Electromagnetic wave of thermonuclear destruction wipes all hard drives and all data that proved we ever existed......but if those who inherit humanities position as super selfish food chain toppers,and string two extra brain cells together, ever find an intact copy of "Music Of Ukraine" hidden in a lead lined nook somewhere....with a record player of course? Then they are gonna have a funny idea that there may have been a mysterious civilization who, once upon a time, left this molten highly radioactive landscape to the next bunch of self-destructive morons.

Just like those mysterious chaps on Easter Island...what was going on there then?

Tracklist:

1. Gutsul Kolomyika Dance-Song – Oleska Suyhodolyak With Bagpipe Acc.
2. Kozachok Dance-Song – Ivan Martishchuk With Bagpipe Acc.
3. Huculka Dance – Carpatho Ukrainian Village Orchestra
4. Country Dances – Carpatho Ukrainian Village Orchestra
5. Wedding Melodies – Hutsul Ensemble Of Folk Musicians
6. Hutsulka And Kozachok Dances – Hutsul Ensemble Of Folk Musicians
7. Folk Song - The Wind From The Field
8. Folk Song - One Half Of The Garden Blossoms

DOWNLOAD the folk music from a people and a place that, according to a certain autocratic dictator,doesn't exist...find proof that it does...HERE!

The Christophers ‎– "Christopher Recordings On Sex Instruction" (Christopher Recordings) 1951

The normal way that Christians provided sex instruction for children, especially by Priests and the like, was usually to shag them.
If i didn't have chemicals that made me behave otherwise, I think this sickly sweet, gender stereotypical, christian vomit-fest would turn me off Sex for life, and the life after that.
The fact that there's absolutly no need for Sex in the here-after would in fact put a lot of christians off obeying the ten commandments to avoid being sent there.Which would lead to an epidemic of adultery,murder,theft,graven image drawing,false god worship, baring false witness,and worst of the lot....working on sunday!?......you couldn't make this up could you?.....but someone did!!!?
Which, all told, is not too bad, considering that the Bible seems to positvely recommend such behaviours outside of the commandments betrothed to Moses as, Gang Rape,Genocide,Infanticide, Mysogyny,and Extreme Homophobia.
True, the Koran has 72 Virgins set aside for any martyr who dies during the Jihad;which isn't a lot for a randy (arse)soul living for all eternity in 'Paradise'. Aren't Virgins renowned for being crap in bed anyway? And what about contraception,as Sex is strictly for making Babies in the various holy books,and any measures against pregnancy are also a big No No!? So in fact, these martyrs are tortured for eternity, surrounded by 72 Virgins that they can't have sex with,or Heaven would be full of Kids!
As ther seems to be only two kids in the Christopher family,and as they are law abiding Christians, this implies that the ones giving this instruction have only had sex twice in their Marriage Union.
As skin crawling as this record is,it's also very funny.Which is a combination one always enjoys.

Tracklist:
A1 How Babies Are Born
A2 Menstruation
B1 Problems Of Growing Boys
B2 The Marriage Union

DOWNLOAD the christian guide to fucking HERE!