Various Artists – "Ideal Guest House" (Shelter) 1986 & "The First After Epiphany" (Ron Johnson Records – ZRON 21) 1987

As I received a request for a Ron Johnson compilation,it reminded me of the official comedian attached to this shambling Ron Johnson style stuff, Ted "I was Walking Down the Road" Chippington. I'm not sure if he was into this kind of popular music,but he was enlisted to be the compare of this trendy compilation cassette to support homeless charity "Shelter"; which is rather apt as we are facing the largest homeless crisis in Europe since world war too. Its time to start world war Free (dom) innit? I am of course referring to the current Invasion of Ukraine by that nice Mr Putin man....just in case you are part of the uninformed majority,or living in Russia....in which case i have to inform you that your army has been committing War crimes against your Slavic brothers in the west.....basically you're fucked.

The drole monotone self-elected worst comedian in the world ever Ted,links together a bunch of shambling C86-era,Johnson related groups in his characteristic stoic manner...at times he's even funny!?

Its got Bog-Shed and bIG fLAME on it, what more could you want or need?......just ignore the Chumbawamba track,...oooooh, they didn't like Neil Kinnock.....edgy stuff not, nuff said.

Tracklist:

A1 Big Flame– Man Of Few Syllables
A2 The Wedding Present– You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends (alt Version)
A3 The Soup Dragons– Fair's Fair
A4 The Creepers– Sharper And Wider
A5 The Shop Assistants – Home Again (Live)
A6 The June Brides– This Town (Accoustic)
A7 Rob Grant with Yeah Yeah Noh– Mr. Hammond Has Breakfast In Bed
B1 Stump– Kitchen Table
B2 The Legend!– Everythings Coming Up Roses
B3 Pigbros– Barren Land
B4 Stitched Back Foot Airman– The Deadly Spore
B5 BMX Bandits– Sad?
B6 Bog-shed – Jobless Youngsters
B7 Chumbawamba– Kinnochio

DOWNLOAD and give these tracks a home HERE!

Oh Yeah!...here's that Ron Johnson sampler LP "The First After Epiphany" that i mistakenly thought had no exclusive tracks on it, and you could get them from the other official releases on the blog if you search for Ron Johnson Records. I was wrong, There's at least a Twang! track that one can't get elsewhere,and maybe an errant Splat! number,or anything else with an exclamation mark in it's name:

"The First After Epiphany"
Ron Johnson Records – ZRON 21 (1987)

Tracklist:

A1 Splat!– Mistook
A2 Big Flame– XPQWRTZ
A3 A Witness– Dipping Bird
A4 Stump– Big End
A5 MacKenzies– Man With No Reason
B1 The Shrubs– Blackmailer
B2 The Ex– Knock
B3 Twang – Here's Lukewarm
B4 The Nose Flutes– Bodyhair Up In The Air
B5 The Great Leap Forward– Drowning Speechless
B6 Jackdaw With Crowbar– Crow

DOWNLOAD this epiphanal moment HERE!

The Noseflutes ‎– "Mellow Throated" (Rictus Recordings ‎– REAP 002) 1991

The Noseflutes did eventually succumb to a disinterested world and go their separate ways after their 1991 swansong "Mellow Throated".
Yet another high quality collection of off-kilter experimental alternative Pop tunes, for listeners with more than half a brain. And to think they were once called 'Extroverts In a Vacuum' and 'Shitstormer' among other rejected monikers.......both better than The Noseflutes I suggest,but..hey....a much missed group of individuals whatever they called themselves.

Tracklist:

A1 Mellow Throated
A2 Ossified
A3 Give Me The Keys
A4 Lurkin' In The Jerkin
A5 Dappled Offspring
A6 Oven Of Arson
B1 Farrago
B2 Gum Goddess
B3 Pressed Fur
B4 Much Decorated
B5 The Soiler

DOWNLOAD this shitstormer of an album HERE!

The Noseflutes ‎– "Zib Zob And His Kib Kob" (Rictus Recordings ‎– REAP 001) 1989

Unlike many of their peers,The Noseflutes managed skillfully to totally ignore the 'Dance' revolution of 1988, and carry on doing exactly what they had been doing for close on a decade. Even The Fall had a fucking DJ in the group around this time, and actually had their drummer play the 'Funky Drummer' beat. Martin Bramah amazingly returned to the line up(briefly) and swapped his earlier discordant guitar style for choppy Issac Hayes Wah-Wah guitar!? I vividly remember going to see The Telescopes around 1990, just after their skull crushingly noisy "Taste" album, to discover that they had 'turned on, tuned in and dropped out', complete with the aforementioned wah-wah guitar, Maracas , and dancy rhythms. I went to receive the expected ear damage, but left (early) with a headache.What a pile of shit!....the only other choices we had were that beyond terrible American 'Rock' revival Grunge crap, or Dance like a drugged up spastic to the shittest album ever made,none-other than Primal Screams "Screama-fucking-delica".
None of this nonsense for The Noseflutes however. Still obviously sticking to Beer as the drug of choice, and making disjointed, intelligently surreal avant-pop, with a palatable sense of humour and irony. A Tambourine cannot be shaken without a strong sense of the Ironic.
Finally,Two reasons that this album is a submerged classic;1-,Its called "Zib Zob And His Kib Kob"*; 2- It has "Spitball on my Kisser" on it; and 3-...(Yes there are three reasons!)....it stands as a testament against the Hive mind.

*as previously mentioned this was listed in the Sunday People's "101 most Awful Album Titles On Record" list sometime in 1996, which figures, as that was the era of the reprehensible Brit Pop aka Brit Shit, era......also 'Zob' is a french slang word for a Penis, which describes the compiler of that very list superbly.

Tracklist:

A1 Needle To The Sackcloth
A2 Yellow
A3 Charms
A4 Spitball On My Kisser
A5 On The Same Level As Too Much
A6 Fruitfly
B1 Puffing Collapse
B2 Pump Ass
B3 Eminent (You Call Me That)
B4 No Plans
B5 Thug Thug Thug
B6 Treated Older
B7 Paradise Smells Wonderful To Me
B8 Families Disappear

DOWNLOAD and arouse your inner zob HERE!

The Noseflutes ‎– "Heartache Is Irresistible" (Ron Johnson Records ‎– ZRON 28) 1987

The Noseflutes first outing on the nearly impeccable Ron Johnson Records was this partially flawed 12" EP. It contains at least three surreal indie-pop classics, in "Rotting Honeymoon","Hanging a Scarface", and the immaculate "Body Hair(Up in the Air)"!; which would have been a massive hit if done by some giant of showbiz like Keith Harris and Orville, or PJ and Duncan.
The title track is something to be avoided,it's like those World music records that Peel insisted on playing in between the good stuff.  This was a good reason to tape his shows to fast forward through the 'Bhundu Boys' between the Sonic Youth and Laibach tracks. Strictly for right-on middle class intelligentsia fakes,and definitely not for me!

Tracklist:

A1 Heartache Is Irresistible
A2 Rotting Honeymoon
B1 Hanging A Scarface
B2 Thousand Pound Coat
B3 Body Hair (Up In The Air)

DOWNLOAD this rotting honeymoon of brilliance HERE!

The Noseflutes ‎– "Several Young Men Ignite Hardboard Stump" (Reflex Records ‎– LEX 5M) 1986

Well would you believe it? That cover photo is of a person falling to their death from the World Trade Center 25 years before this was replicated en masse.
No doubt some '9/11 Truth Seekers' will see this as the start of the conditioning that led to us accepting the 'official' story and willingly giving away our human rights in the name of security?
What did The Noseflutes really know?....well, they certainly knew how to write an unconventional disjointed pop song or two, and had a real talent for great album titles.This one didn't manage to make The Sunday People's "101 most awful album titles on Record" in sept 1996, but their second album "Zib Zob and his Kib Kob" did.
As the 'People' is in fact nothing more than a moronic comic for intellectual pondlife and Brexit/Trump supporters, this is a compliment;what could be worse than having any fans among these scholarly also-rans. The fact that the author of this list, one Gary Leboff, obviously has irony blindness, speaks volumes about his qualifications to be a serious journalist; the Times would not be calling at any time in the future let's say.
Not the best Noseflutes Album by any stretch of word, but still a fine collection of abstract pop tunes for the discerning ex-university pub dweller.......and with such a classic album title as that, it demands your attention at least!? 

Tracklist:

A1 Perfect Cockney Hard-On
A2 Romance Takes Control
A3 Dreamboat
A4 Bullet Enters Brad
A5 This Is My Home
B1 Lumbo/The Harmony Of Dogs
B2 Holiday Time
B3 Past Promise Broken In Previous Life
B4 Why Is Everyone A Man?
B5 The Sugar Ranch
B6 Cowboy Factory

DOWNLOAD several young men accidentally make 9/11 reference HERE! 

The Noseflutes ‎– "Girth EP" (Reflex Records ‎– 12 RE 11) 1985

These chaps have got a sense of humour haven't they? Either that or they are drunk or both?
One word punchlines are hard to come by, but 'Girth', is one of the best. It can raise a grin at the most inappropriate of times.
Always partial to a surreal but piss taking track title, The Noseflutes , display many Beefheartian traits in their compositions; but with classic British  sardonicism from some downright weird music hall,slash, Pub tradition.
Never really been a fan of groups with more than five members in them. The Noseflutes had anywhere between five and nine over the years, but they don't sound like they do; so fuck knows what all these extraneous members did during these complex surreal pop tunes.
At least there was no Bez, Paul Rutherford,Chas Smash, style extraneous band member; they all seemed to contribute,however minimally to the process. Kind of in a Rick Wright (Pink Floyd) kind of minimal contribution way.
Too many band members does however aid the post rehearsal fun factor down the pub; which i reckon was the main reason for having all their mates in the band.
Anymore extraneous band members come to mind?.....Sid Vicious?....That dancer with Howard Jones?.....answers on a postcard please.

This is a great EP by the way!

Tracklist:

A1 Girth
A2 Sawdust And Glass: Kicking Ass
B1 Give Me The Keys
B2 Shallow For Deep

DOWNLOAD a girthy masterpiece HERE!

The Noseflutes - "Peel Sessions 1985-1989" - (a Die or DIY? Compilation)

Just like Aerosmith appeared to fill in for an absent Led Zeppelin, there's always a substitute for the main act willing to fill a void.
The Noseflutes were on hand just as The Nightingales were breaking up,and slotted in nicely to the space left behind; they even had a name that began with 'N'!
That said, they were more than just a poor man's Nightingales(Unlike Aerosmith, who were definitely a very poor man's Led Zep). They also had a lorry full of wittily titled and eccentric tunes to foist upon the willing public. Another band that had Ron Johnson Records written all over them.
Naturally this also meant that John Peel would inevitably like them a lot, and they did four sessions for said DJ's BBC programme ....not as many as The Nightingales did, but a lot nonetheless.
Having compiled this file,I can say in all authority, that this is the best Noseflutes album by the length of an average noseflute. 

Track Listing:

01 Taking Out the Creases (01-09-85)
02 Worthy Pious (01-09-85).
03 Let Me in to Beg(01-09-85)
04 Love Endures the Autumn(01-09-85).
05 Bullet Enters Brad(01-09-85).
06 History Of Heart Disease [17-08-86]
07 Serving In Paradise [17-08-86].
08 Catcheel Maskhole [17-08-86].
09 Leg Full Of Alcohol [17-08-86].
10 The Ravers [17-08-86].
11 Bodyhair Up in the Air[05-05-87].
12 Rotting Honeymoon[05-05-87].
13 Spitball On My Kisser[05-05-87].
14 Thug Thug Thug[05-05-87].
15 Born in the Last Ditch[08-01-89].
16 Ossified[08-01-89].
17 Rum Ship[08-01-89].
18 Much Decorated[08-01-89].

DOWNLOAD to your digital nostrils HERE!