Jandek – "Columbus Friday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0850) 2021

As we rapidly approach Jandek's 76th birthday, his release schedule seems to be increasing;and somehow, they all sound very different;although there are those who would say that they all sound the same. Basically, Jandek sounds like whoever he's playing with these days,unlike 20th century Jandek,which sounded like Jandek,only Jandek and absolutely no-one else.

This one, has some experienced Jazzers, and experimental composers in tow to back up the Corwood rep's doomy synth drones and moaning poetry, for another 90 minutes of living purgatory spread over two CD's.

This is he in a Jandek does an american Throbbing Gristle tribute mode; he even gets a bit saucy at one point in 'Any man';which seems to describe the kind of stuff Sterling allegedly gets up to in his spare time when out of character....so I've heard on the outsider music grapevine,which admittedly produces very withered fruit.

If by some inexplicable oversight, you don't know what Jandek sounds like,I would recommend delving into his vast back-catalogue at random,by choosing one album from 1978-2000,and another from his vast 21st century array of live recordings.....That's what he sounds like, and it should empty a room or upset someone within 30 seconds of the first track,or you've picked the wrong one.

I Played Columbus Friday in its entirety whilst i worked at my calling to make silly mice out of junk for the world to be amused by.The result of this exposure to Jandek,was a complaint from a customer whom could one day come to define the neo-word 'Snowflake';upon opening the package she burst into to tears allegedly, and said that she has never felt more insulted!It looked ok to me when i made it,so maybe it was the malevolent influence of the Jandek wot dunnit? The misery that swirled around my workshop like a malignant fog evading the fume extractor and danced a waltz with my depression.This somehow impregnated the form of the metal mouse and created a grim vision of the futility of existence that only severe religious brainwashing can camouflage. It was either the black magic of Sterling Smith's gloomy meanderings or the fact that the mouse was flipping the bird in the world's general direction that was to blame?......I thought it was very mildly amusing anyway?.....as is, I have to say,a Jandek record. Some people should just lighten up a bit and embrace the awful truth with a jaunty laugh.....except The Corwood Representative of course.I wouldn't know how to cope with a Jandek comedy record,but I'm sure he's thinking of doing one soon,or saving it for one of the early flood of posthumous releases he almost certainly has planned. 

Tracklist:

1-1 Unfolding 10:48
1-2 No Kisses 8:11
1-3 Any Man 10:05
1-4 Flying 8:18
1-5 King And Tiny Men 9:30
2-1 Emerging From Water 9:36
2-2 So Sudden 10:29
2-3 Inside Out 12:33
2-4 Your Look 11:25

DOWNLOAD the columbus of outsider music HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Glasgow Sunday 2005" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0792) 2008

Live Jandek????
Jandek plays live???..............has this destroyed the mystique?.............I rather think.....Yes!
Although he still doesnt confirm that the performer IS Jandek himself, referring to himself as "The Representative From Corwood".The first ever live Jandek concert took place in Scotland in October 2004. It was unannounced.
This is a later Glasgow appearence from 2005.
The credit on the back says “RECORDED LIVE: THE ARCHES GLASGOW SCOTLAND OCTOBER 16, 2005”. On the first track the representative from Corwood delivers a long spoken narrative. He also sings and plays harmonica,expertly backed by improv legend, Loren Connors on electric guitar. On the second track, the rep plays drum kit, with Heather Leigh Murray on lap steel guitar and wordless vocals with Alan Licht on electric guitar.
This is more Jandek, backed by very capable improv legends, than classic Jandek. It's far too 'good' in the "well Played" department to be filed under Jandek. Outsider music played by Insiders to entertain an audience of Hipsters.
These live outings are Jandek's most 'acceptable' recordings,taken seriously by chin strokers everywhere.
Very listenable stuff indeed, a kind of outsider ambient, atmospheric harmonics, floating underneath Jandek's haunted poetry, and ghostly harmonica. Stuff you could play without your wife complaining.
It gets worse, he's even done an interview recently with mainstream music magazine 'The Wire'???? I expect TV appearances will follow; probably on that horrible Jools Holland music show, that infects my TV with its smug bank managers coffee table vibe that makes one feel sick, and music pointless.

Tracklist:

1	The Grassy Knoll Electric Guitar [Uncredited] – Loren Mazzacane Connors Vocals [Uncredited], Harmonica [Uncredited] – Jandek	25:26
2	Tribal Ether Drums [Uncredited] – Jandek Electric Guitar [Uncredited] – Alan Licht Steel Guitar [Pedal, Uncredited], Vocals [Uncredited] – Heather Leigh Murray	24:47

DOWNLOAD a sunday in glasgow 2005 HERE!

Jandek – "London Monday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0848) 2021

 At the risk of being murdered by psychotic Jandek worshiping nutjobs for stealing their god's music without recompense to the 'Artist',or even his Representative therein, it's time for our much anticipated regular annual 'Catch-up with Jandek' feature.Starting with yet another London appearance,this time on Monday,June 16th, 2008, at Café Oto again,and NOT in the generic modern Church pictured on the cover.

Although,Churches,specifically Christian churches, could do with Jandek's help in getting some bodies,preferably living ones, through their doors? 

It's a sad indictment on the state of the Christian religion in the more secular areas of the planet...ie the intelligent bits....when Jandek can get a far more numerous congregation than God can.However, it seems that Jandek is indeed a God to a small selection of mental cases throughout modern secular society.

As some smart-arsed wag once said, 'if there wasn't a God there would exist a need to create one' and in Jandek's Case ,through focused, dogged, perseverance, Sterling Richard Smith, aka The Corwood Representative, has created a persona, or rather,lack of persona, crazy enough to have filled that God shaped hole in their misfiring brains.And why not? The jumbled mess that is his recording career, makes by far more sense than any of the chief monotheistic holy books. It's a one size fits all religion that can fit on one side of blank A5 printing paper,consisting of just a pair of brackets encapsulating a short amount of underlined nothing for you to fill in the big blank yourself.(_________),This is Jandekism in action.

Jandek, or God's representative on Earth,or even just God, does exactly the same with his music,or rather the music of whoever he's 'collaborating' with,which in this case consisted of a couple of London dwelling improvising trendies,over which The Representative does his 'stuff'.Seemingly channeled from some nebulous musical dustbin floating around the Aether,within which Jandek is probably thee cosmological constant that Einstein was mistakenly looking for during his entire career.

Another method of getting more of god's likenesses in a church,other than getting Jandek to do a gig there, is the latest camping craze in the Uk called 'Champing',which consists of holiday makers paying the holy man to stay for a number of nights camping inside his church.

What their deity has to say about this one could only imagine.Moses would have both the Vicar and the family of Holidaymakers stoned to death, and probably most of the local population of adulterers,graven image makers and Canaanites to boot.The oldest excuse for genocide..."Kill them all. The Lord knows those that are his own",or in Latin,"Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius." (accredited to some bloke/murderer at the siege of Beziers ,1209, during the Cathar revolt)....what that has to do with Jandek I dunno,but the degree of separation in the modern world and throughout time has now shrunk infinitesimally enough for a crazed Jandek fan to actually kill a stranger for sins against his God.....so watch yer backs.

Tracklist:

1 Awakening 13:57
2 Realization 13:39
3 Cognition 11:30
4 Willingness 12:47
5 Emergence 11:30

DOWNLOAD your new god HERE!

Jandek – "Motion Energy" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0854) 2021

Out of pure laziness,i'm gonna take a restful sidestep from French Prog, yet make a tenuous connection with Jandek, who sounds exactly like Mahogany Brain, a French Prog band who incidentally sound like Jandek. However, unlike Mahogany Brain, Jandek did more than a couple of albums,in fact this recent release from 2021 has enough material on it to make two new Mahogany Brain albums. I hear Corwood are releasing another eight albums this year alone,as the representative's back catalog approaches the 150 mark.

Incidentally Has anyone seen him recently? He may be dead for all we know,and a massive stash of Jandek recordings are waiting to enter the market spaced over the course of the current, and maybe even, the next, century? In fact, even if there were no more fruit left on the tree it would be fairly easy to make new Jandek albums without the man himself. Even his voice could easily be mimicked. 

To achieve this post mortem creativity it is essential that one's public exposure is kept in the shadows .A lack of gigs could be explained away as a return to his reclusive years.....which I wish he would do anyway. Simply put, Jandek could become immortal,artistically at least. The same could happen to The Residents, and others who would shun the cult of personality. I hear that Daft Punk have decided to come out of retirement,or at least 'someone' has come out of retirement,we would never know who it was under those shiny helmets.It could be Putin and Lavrov for all we know,other wise known as Chuckles and Laughing Tammy to their adoring friends . For example Phil Collins couldn't carry on in secret after his death,because he didn't wear a mask.Schoolboy error. Anyhow, the wheel chair would give the game away if he started now.Always plan ahead..but...maybe Philip is one step ahead of all of us and really he's Vladimir Putin,and Putin is Phil Collins? This could go viral,and explain a lot of unanswered questions?

Vladimir Putin

Phil Collins

This double CD seems to have been recorded in a studio,hence the title lacking a day of the week and a place name.Its basically the same improvised stuff,otherwise known as Mr Smith pissing about for an hour or so,that he's been doing,with his talented friends, for the best part of the last twenty years.Really it could be anybody from the vast world of improvised music playing on this record for all we know. The give away is that there's only one person playing who doesn't really have a clue what he's doing......ahhhaa that must be Jandek......or,someone pretending to be Jandek, or even a representative of Jandek? We may never know.....or care?

Tracklisting:

1-1 Slow Walk 28:05

1-2 Amble21:11 

2-1 Picking Up The Pace 21:43 

2-2 Running With It 24:20

DOWNLOAD what may or may not be jandek HERE!

Jandek – "Chapel Hill Sunday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0853) 2022

Yes, I tried living too,believe it or not,but then I started to listen to Jandek records again. This is time I'll never get back,and will probably rue this irrational decision to listen to all of Jandek's albums, on my death bed surrounded by any loved ones who will still have anything to do with me.

So,here's another hour and a half where i could have been making love to a beautiful woman...or their alternatives (I'm Hip ain't I?)...meaning one of the self-identified represented by the extra letters tagged onto the popular and ever lengthening acronym that begins with LGBTQ...etc......so maybe i wasn't wasting my ever decreasing allotted time in this reality after all?

Would I sooner be making sweet luuurve to a beautiful lady, rather than listen to endless Jandek?....well....er....yes please. I think Jandek would too,although, his lady,slash, victim, would undoubtedly be of the Prince Andrew variety.

This one was recorded in 2009,so Jandek may still indeed be dead? Which is a pity, because we could have tried threatening Putin with endless Jandek pumped into the Kremlin. Vlad has promised us "Something We Have Never Seen Before",but we westerners have got something He has never heard Before, and far more lethal than the nukes he was alluding to.By the time this double CD has finished its first few tracks Putin would be grovelling to be sent to the Hague,and plead guilty of waging an illegal war of aggression. 

I suppose i should turn my attentions away from imminent nuclear annihilation,and turn to something far more important....the music....if indeed ,music this may be?

"You wanted my Body" whine's the Corwood rep in the opening improvisation, cosily entitled "I tried Living". I can also now go on record and say in all honesty, that I have NEVER wanted Jandek's body.

A trio of new buddies make stuff up around Jandek's guitar abuse,and I have to say I have heard better.The drummer in particular seems to be struggling to come up with anything we haven't heard a thousand times before,treading water in an 'i've got a Free Jazz collection' kind of way.Incredibly, the guitar player seems to be the one with the most clue here.....wait a minute, Thats Jandek innit?....blimey he's found musicians who are almost as bad as himself.Now that's something to be applauded.....we came here to hear the ginger mist in person,not the pale one and a bunch of trendy jazzers who would be better off on ECM records than Corwood,which is what we usually get for these live performances since 2004-ish.They're not quite there but,at least this selection approaches somewhere near the nebulous standard required to make a cohesively uncohesive Jandekian outing into the outside.

Tracklisting:

1.I Tried Living 29:52

2. Broken Sky 12:49

3.I Think I'm Unstable 9:03

4.The Slide 15:14

5.All My Time 13:15

6.Just As Well Off 11:46

DOWNLOAD sunday chapel for jandekian agnostics HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Boston Friday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0836) 2020

 Another Two Hours of Jandek anyone?...........I SAID ANOTHER TWO HOURS OF JANDEK ANYONE???????.....silence.... I suppose if I had the sound on my computer turned on the noise of everyone screaming "YES!" would have blown the speakers.....hang on...the volume is on 11!?....You bunch of bastards!

Aw Fuck it...I dunno why I bother.....in fact I don't know why you bother,or more to the point why Jandek bothers? Which inevitably leads us to wonder why anyone bothers to do anything.The bleak image on the cover represents your reward for bothering to do anything. A frozen wasteland of disinterest. All will be vaporised in time,so the logical path is to either hang around waiting to become less than nothing,or fill in the finite empty space by creating something,anything, that will exist only within the space and time it takes to create it. Poof! It's gone.

Jandek is the master of this temporary dark energy.Despite what that bloke who analyses Captain Beefheart with a fine toothcomb says; as he has done with Jandek too.If Jandek has a repeatable tuning,he certainly never uses it,and if he does its accidental,nebulous,or merely a suggestion of a tuning.

Fittingly,and unsurprisingly, this performance was leaked into the atmosphere at The Institute Of Contemporary Art in Boston;better named the Institute of Temporary Art. I think I like that concept,and Jandek is the embodiment of that,or rather the UN-embodiment.

The music is your standard Avant-Garde spontaneous sound that we've heard a thousand times on countless improvised discs,but...it has Jandek's moaning semi-improvised vocals,and some of his slack stringed fretless bass playin',so it now stands out from the crowd.

Just imagine a drunken hoarde of Imrovisers coming to trash the town in protest against the impending budget cuts in the arts sector post co-vid.No longer will this stuff be supported.....they're gonna have to make music that at least some people like,or....gulp....work for a living!? Horror of Horrors.Or they can make music in their spare time,like everybody else does, quite easily.Especially stuff that you don't have to write down or memorise, like the Improvised Avant Garde. I admit, i'm one of those pretentious twats who like this stuff......if it was someone else saying that I would say that I was lying to appear like an intellectual....no lying about it!!! I AM an Intellectual OK!?....fuck you Dunce Boy.

Tracklist:

1-1 Prelude 5:48
1-2 Part One 13:50
1-3 Part Two 11:35
1-4 Part Three 11:49
1-5 Part Four 10:10
1-6 Part Five 8:18
2-1 Part Six 6:57
2-2 Part Seven 7:00
2-3 Part Eight 7:15
2-4 Part Nine 14:12
2-5 Part Ten 5:28
2-6 Part Eleven 8:00
2-7 Part Twelve 10:02

DOWNLOAD in one part HERE!

Jandek - "Telegraph Melts" (Corwood 0750) 1986

OMFG!....as the generic modern youth would exclaim upon first encountering the Madness that is a Jandek Album.
The generic modern youth in question had just heard the bad acid and angeldust damaged snuff movie nightmare of “You Painted Your Teeth”.Where Jandek frenziedly harangues an unknown second person not to paint their teeth?????: “Don’t paint your teeth! You painted your teeth! DON’T PAINT YOUR TEETH!” he screams!!
Well worth the entrance money alone, for it is up there with Suicide's "Frankie Teardrop" for its hair on back of neck erecting abilities.
The drumming on this fine record, is almost 'funky' by Jandek standards,which gives these demented songs a near commercial appeal. A kind of Avant Punk power is achieved in its disturbed anger. It may sound like a confused mess to those assimilated slaves of the new world order;but its an accurate suburban folk portrayal of modern human civilisation.......a confused mess.
 Jandek lives next door to someone far away, someplace where ‘music’ is an expression of emotion and not a packaged entertainment; made for self, rather than for an audience.
 While firmly entrenched in the ‘classic’ Jandek sound of open-chord guitar pluckery and vocals that teeter on the brink of losing what little grip of sanity was there, this album stands out for a surprisingly consistent rhythmic attack on the first six tracks. Jandek hammers at his abused drumkit with locomotive rigor and intensity rarely heard in any of the previous recordings; of course, he inevitably loses control of the rhythm and sends it tumbling down the stairs. The rest of the tracks are far more loose in the rhythmic structure. Again, the woman who may be known as Nancy sings on a couple of tracks: one of which finds her sounding more like Jandek with a strained, atonal vibrato.
Quite simply, one of the finest Jandek LP's.
But,remember..... "DON’T PAINT YOUR TEETH!"

Tracklist:

A1 You 1:33
A2 On The Planes 2:43
A3 Go To Bed 2:44
A4 Ace Of Diamonds 4:45 

A5 Twenty-Four 5:07 

A6 No Slow Ones 3:16
A7 Telegraph Melts 4:10
B1 Governor Rhodes 5:17
B2 Star Up In The Sky 3:29
B3 You Painted Your Teeth 2:55
B4 Mother's Day Card 2:02
B5 The Fly 3:35

B6

House Up On The Hill

2:14

DOWNLOAD some molten telegraph messages HERE!

Jandek – "Porto Saturday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0852) 2021

The second most famous ginger whinger after Elvis "The Pelvis" Presley.....(he dyed his hair black if you didn't know).....could be, and I did say 'Could Be',Die or DIY?'s favourite copper-top,Sterling "Jandek" Smith. Clearly,sporting a rather dapper chemically enhanced hair-do, he was around when Elvis was in full throttle Ginger denial as a pre-pubescent with, seemingly ,very proud parents? The cover photo looks like it was taken in a photographic studio to place on the mantelpiece of the Smith family abode.Evidence, maybe, that Jandek was born,and didn't arrive from outer-space like a gone wrong version of the ginger alien from "The Man That fell To Earth".

Those proud parents obviously didn't provide piano lessons for their pasty faced progeny and the evidence is on this compact disc of Jandek tinkling about on a grand piano for just shy of two hours....HELP!

This is the reason why the era of "the Public Piano" is coming swiftly to an end in railway stations across the globe; probably under sentence of death in places like Saudi Arabia. Or you could try playing a piano in public in Taliban-era Afghanistan, to invent the much needed phenomena of the 'Suicide Pianist'...the fight back starts here!

Keith Jarret this is NOT.It's improvisation by someone who thinks improvisation is just moving your fingers at different speeds in random places,Keith Jandek?.....although if that was the actual concept then I take everything I just typed back....but I severely doubt it.

I can't listen to this,and that's saying something.I would even leave a Pub if some smart-arse put this on the imaginary jukebox. Although, if that Jukebox existed, I WANT ONE!

This is the Paradox that Jandek is.He is obviously pure unlovable Shite,but is it not that quality that makes him great? Most clueless bastards would have given up after album number one and a half, like The Shaggs nobly did.However, with shear bloody-minded insistence,he penetrates the psyche of some of those poor fools who dare to tread that unholy back passage more than just once.

I listen to Jandek infinitely more than Keith Jarrett's po-faced solo piano neo jazz-classical intellectual panderings.I don't even leave The Koln Concerts out when my groovy artist chums pop round of an evening....mainly because they never 'pop' round is the reason for that particular advantage of the friendless.They just stay at home listening to the Koln Concerts every evening;just in case someone 'pops' round.Also, I have Zero Jandek Vinyl to display,which is a rather inexcusable and tragic oversight by 21st century Corwood Industries. I certainly don't want any of those awful scratchy plastic CD cases anywhere near me thanks, not even a mint copy of "Porto Saturday" by Keith Jandek.....in any format.

Tracklist:

1-1 The Garden And The Monastery 42:41
2-1 The Grey City And The Museum 50:27

DOWNLOAD the porto concert HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "Naked In The Afternoon : A Tribute To Jandek" (Summersteps Records ‎– SUM0010) 2000

You've heard everything Jandek has commited to tape,so now we have the 'Tribute'!?
As is par for the course with these, usually, truly awful arrays of third division Indie bands, this has a few listenable tracks....ie once, and a slew of stuff that totally misses the point of the person,or persons, who are being lionised.
For most of these acts, this was about who will win the fight to cover 'Nancy Sings', which is probably thee only actual song that Jandek has ever 'written'.....and that was patently accidental.
This was inexplicably won by some ernest young men with facial hair called Ivory Elephant?.....Who?
It would have been a far better idea to appeal to genuine misfits/outsiders who have never heard,or heard of Jandek to give their impressions of what the Corwood Representative is all about, because this rainbow of 'Normals' haven't got a clue. It takes years of isolation to understand what Jandek's music is really about.
I should imagine various Jandek albums are essential additions to the Hipsters record bag, ready to whip out at the fair trade coffee shop. Beard, Check, Short back and sides, check, copy of 'Blue Corpse', double check!
There's something unsavoury about rock stars wearing Daniel Johnston T-shirts or dropping hints about how R. Stevie Moore influenced their hit.Then, of course, Jandek will be mentioned as a pointer to how weird they are(n't).Then they make music to be liked by, as if they have never listened to any of these artists at all......Fuck I just noticed Thurston Moore guests on track 2*!.....is there any 'left-field' album he doesn't guest on post Sonic Youth/Marrige breakdown? There's also the obligatory downtown NYC underground artist,in this case Amy Denio, seeing the 'Art' in Jandek.
Its not unlike Nigel Tufnel in Spinal Tap saying how Mozart really influenced his composition called "Suck My Love Pump".
Also,I notice that they managed to get 'Low' to do a track,I've heard of them.Once thought they were pretty good until i watched a documentary about them, and found out that they were exceedingly Normal,Nice, and completely fucking boring as people.......maybe this was the intention, but it put me off......I'm as fickle as fuck, and proud of it.

Tracklist:

1 –Peter Weiss And Brian Charles - Quinn Boys II 4:33
2 –Dapper - Painted My Teeth 4:15*
3 –The Couple Scene - Babe I Love You 2:24
4 –Retsin - New Town 6:06
5 –Cassie Rose And The Pickled Punks - Spanish In Me 2:02
6 –The Choppers - Twenty Four 2:49
7 –Low - Carnival Queen 5:10
8 –Ho Chen Keit - Harmonica 4:49
9 –Kid Icarus - She Fell Down 3:40
10 –The Early Morning Initials - Remain The Same 1:04
11 –Gary Young - Take It Easy 2:52
12 –Psychatrone Rhonedakk - The I Woke Up Medley 3:49
13 –Ivory Elephant - Nancy Sings 3:24
14 –Las Vegas On Mars - Janitor's Dead 3:47
15 –The Goblins - War Dance 1:22
16 –Amasa - Sailors 2:48
17 –Monster Island - Road To Corwood / Lost Cause 2:39
18 –The Storkettes - Cave In On You 3:29
19 –Pipes You See, Pipes You Don't - Jessica 3:14
20 –Bright Eyes - Have You Ever Heard Of Jandek ? 3:46
21 –Amy Denio - Your Condition 9:25

DOWNLOAD and get naked HERE!

Jandek - "Later On" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0741) 1981

I dunno how many of you have a vat of photographs of yourself hanging around ,but Sterling has. Some Mental Health professionals would characterise this as a symptom of a narcissistic personality disorder. Good cover photo though?

 Apparently I absent mindely failed to include classic period Jandek album,"Later On' in Die Or DIY?'s chronology of the pale Ginger Bard's vast output?

Fittingly its called "Later On", so i have a conceptual escape route here. Of course it should be posted later than his other 100-odd,or ,100-very odd, albums.

Not that his self-appointed PR/Manger would approve of any 'copyright infrigment taking place here. Some bearded nut from Vancouver, who stalked Jandek begging him,probably on his knees, in tears, to let him organize a gig for him in Canada.. David Ames? I think?

You know there's something wrong when a fifty year old bloke still uses the word 'Dude' in every malformed sentence he dribbles.

The lovely David, has a role in life to sporadically accuse your faithfull scribe as a Theif.....you know the usual stuff one get accused of by these self-appointed Ayatollah's.Rather Like Fat Frank of Vinyl On Demand, but he accuses me/us of stealing stuff that he sells that was originally either Free or incredibly cheap,to his corpulent middle class record collector followers. Where-as Dave the Dude accuses one/us of stealing stuff that Jandek used to give away for free anyway,and still does. He wouldn't be every Sun Ra fan's favorite copper-topped troubador nowadays if he hadn't have done that. Dave the Dude, in one of his arsey comments, even suggested that if he ever saw me he'd give me a sound ass-kicking!.....very silly,and unlikely.....have you ever seen a picture of me?I'm one meeeaaaannnn Muther Fucker!

These silly bastards have to wake up to the fact that the world has moved on.Recorded media was only around as a viable comodity for about 80 years or so.Now that its commercially unviable,they have to understand its time to move on.The days of Led Zeppelin and their earning potential for just recording something once and making copies to sell are loooong gone....but at least Led Zep actually worked for a living,by constantly touring.Jandek plays a couple of gigs a year,which is an infinite percentage increase on what he used to do...and I've said it before, he should have stayed a recluse,and kept the magic alive. Basically why should we invest our hard-earned income on something that is basically a 'Rip-Off'.Just a copy of a day or so's...er...work? If i tried that with my boss, if I had a Boss that is (I've never had one kids), by sending in carboard cut out of me and stayed in bed all day moaning about how my colleques have all stole my idea...I'd be sacked...pronto.We all groan when we hear an Actor telling us how hard they worked on that new movie...he said WORKED!?...but somehow Pop Stars get a sympathetic response from so-called music fans.Yeah, you lot do fuck all and get rich, while we struggle to even eat.Of course the DIY music scene,otherwise know as 'Proper Music', is quite happy to earn fuck all money from making the things they love, and very capable of earning their own cash from the real world out there.....ie 'working'....admitedly Jandek is not shy when it comes to proper work,as he has been seen working in some factory workshop,where he earns the dosh to release his albums....in his case its not the man,it's the fan who's the problem.

Anyway,risking the wrath of Jandek's manager/promoter/bodyguard/hippie Thug, here's a very belated file of Jandek's "excellently Jandek-like...."Later-On".It wery gud!

Tracklist:

1.Your Condition 5:16
2.What Did I Hear 4:37
3.Just Whisper 3:46
4.Oh Jenny 3:40
5.Until Then 2:20
6.So Fly, Max 2:51
7.The Janitor 3:31
8.Don't Know If I Care 2:30
9.John Came 1:11
10.Jessica 2:29
11.Jackson's Gone Down The Mississippi 2:37
12.The Second End 3:17

DOWNLOAD later than intended HERE!

Jandek ‎– "London Residency" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0821) 2017

Happy new Year?????..that's Fake News,but what ain't Fake is the last Jandek Monday of 2018.
What better way than six CDs of Jandek in London to end the worst year politically for the human race since World War2? And maybe an even worse year for our lovely blue planet?
Its only gonna get worse as far as I can see!
The seas are poisoned with micro plastics,during the worst year for the production of greenhouse gases since records began (Incredibly!!!???), making the projected point of no-return in twelve years time looking wildly optimistic! Top that with an oompah loompah in the whitehouse withdrawing from the Paris climate change accord, and Japan resuming commercial whaling, leaving our own extinction a near certainty.Stupid is as Stoopid does,as Stoopid gets whats-a-comin'!
We can't even try to save ourselves because democracy won't allow it!The people have spoken,they want cheap disposable convienience and fuck tomorrow.The idiots in the hi-vis jackets smashing stuff up in Paris and beyond have proved that. "Wot? Green taxes on my diesel fuel???? No way,unless I don't have to pay.Fuck the future,i'm alive today." I know of at least one of these drongos who,one week was protesting in a yellow jacket against feul taxes, then the next week was demonstrating against climate change.....this is a special kind of pure liquid hypocrisy.
That's not to mention the rise of the new incredibly DUMB neo-right,of which the "Gillets Jaune" are very much a part of, which makes "Mien Kampf" look like a reasoned work of well-thought out political philosophy, an insult to the old right.Made up of the detritus of society, moaning about the Romainians next door coming over here and taking our jobs that these lazy morons don't want.
Me?.....I'm gonna have to apply to stay in my own home because of Brexshit,and have my european citizenship revoked....a bit like the intial actions against the Jews in Germany in the 1930s;but at least i don't have to pay for the privilege like EU citizens in the UK will have to do.A different kind of residency to that which Jandek was paid to do in London,but far more incomprehensible!
Lets escape this crap and immerse ourselves in the unpredictable world of 21st century Jandek.On these three nights at Café Oto,we get a jamboree of styles jandeckian;solo acoustic Jandek to funky Jandek, to avant garde Jandek;all assisted by various musicians and, of course, his muse, Sheila, contributing her trademark channeled vocals.Both the Representative and Muse, make the traditional trip around the instrumentation to keep it fresh.Thankfully,he steers clear of the piano,and any neo-classical pretentions on this one.
Lets hope that 2019 sees a resurrection of common sense and decency on our fucked planet,and that Jandek makes a new Studio album......none of this will happen of course.
Tracklisting:

Day One - February 14, 2014
1-1 Trash Man 9:26
1-2 I'm Ready 8:22
1-3 You Ain't Me 7:23
1-4 Who 'Dat 5:56
1-5 Good Night 10:13
1-6 Down South 10:10
2-1 See Ya Later 3:55
2-2 The Devil's Dead 3:01
2-3 You Didn't Respond 4:42
2-4 Mean Anything 3:19
2-5 Chaotic Mind 3:41
2-6 Don't Want Us 3:26
2-7 Down So Low 6:26
2-8 Man On His Back 8:30

Day Two - February 15, 2014
3-1 I Laughed 13:11
3-2 Where's The Cotton 8:10
3-3 I Couldn't Find You 7:06
3-4 Wait A Minute 8:51
3-5 Choctaw Baby 7:18
3-6 The Stars 9:40
4-1 Lost Journey 8:30
4-2 You Told Me 4:03
4-3 Nothing 8:01
4-4 Tell Me 6:27
4-5 Here To Stay 3:33
4-6 Good Madness 2:37
4-7 He Loved Me 2:43
4-8 Twisted Tongue 4:12
4-9 Tripe Tales 4:26
4-10 Vain Thug 6:32

Day Three - February 16, 2014
5-1 The Dark 8:09
5-2 If I Waited Twenty Hours 5:56
5-3 Living With A Cell Phone 4:34
5-4 Downtown Blues 5:52
5-5 Cryin' And Tumblin' 7:48
5-6 Am I Alive 5:18
5-7 Peaches And Cream 2:46
5-8 Vagabond King 4:56
6-1 The Day Of Dread 22:13
6-2 Wall Fall 6:02
6-3 Solitary Sunlight 5:58
6-4 Sad But Over 4:46
6-5 Anyone Else 6:23
6-6 Somebody I'm Not

DOWNLOAD a free uk residency permit HERE!

Jandek - "Ready for the House" (Corwood 0739) 1978

May 2014 is Jandek month;the king of American DIY,on Corwood Industries. Home of the best cover art in 'pop' history, and the living proof that if you stick at something for ever, you will get a worldwide profile for it,and....gulp.....fans?! Plodding on regardless of opinion and taste never stopped U2, and it hasn't stopped the semi-mythical Jandek. The difference between Jandek and U2 is that Jandek is good, and U2 are the biggest pile of overbearing pompous ego-filth ever to squeeze out of the buttocks of rock!
Released as by The Units(before the 'other' units threatened legal action), Corwood 0739(why start at 0739?) is guaranteed to clear a room of people in less than 5 minutes.
Jandek's debut album from 1978 will astound you with its 'sheer amusicality or unmusicality or nonmusicality, oh,the sheer emptiness of it. This was an album that started nowhere, went nowhere, and ended up nowhere... It's really like hearing a posthumous recording, a recording that was made after the artist had died.'
All the unpatented Jandek trademarks are there: the detuned death rattle acoustic guitar, the reverby haunted whiny voice, the banal, abstracted and sub- poetic lyrics.The perfect accompaniment for making you feel that life really isn’t worth living.The captured sound of Total Isolation.

Tracklist:

A1 Naked In The Afternoon 4:51
A2 First You Think Your Fortune's Lovely 8:10
A3 What Can I Say, What Can I Sing 4:51
A4 Show Me The Way, O Lord 4:18
B1 Know Thy Self 2:38
B2 They Told Me About You 4:33
B3 Cave In On You 4:26
B4 They Told Me I Was A Fool 5:08
B5 European Jewel (Incomplete) 4:56
DOWNLOAD and be ready for the next thirty Jandek downloads HERE!

Jandek - "Somebody In The Snow" (Corwood 0757) 1990

Crosby,Stills,Nash and Jandek would have been a terrible Idea; but Jandek,Jandek,Jandek and Pat works just fine.
I listened to this record last night and it reminded me of an entertaining,but deranged, version of Crosby,Stills,and Yaaaawwwn!? The night before, it suggested the Eagles on Angel Dust, as heard by a paranoid schizophrenic on 'The Chemical Cosh' medication.
Tonight, it sounds like a pretty sophisticated Jandek record, with a bunch of excellent,but casually stapled together, distintegrating country rock tunes. If only country music was this affecting, instead of being the most pointless drivel still floating in the toilet of Pop.
We get Nancy's sister,Pat, back for another stab at being Jandek's lead singer for a few tracks. She ain't too bad at it either;though she isn’t as strong a singer as her sister, may I add?
The acappella track “Om” sticks out, with its 'Rosemary's baby' vibe, and “Bring It In a Manger”, is definitely one of the best Christmas songs ever, and certainly the only one with the word “genitals” in it.
A very consistent and listenable Jandek album to kick off the Nineties.

Tracklist:

A1 Tell Me Who You Are 3:48
A2 Come Through With A Smile 5:52
A3 I May Not Be Around 2:03
A4 Pastimes 3:15
A5 Om 2:27
A6 Bring It In A Manger 2:17
B1 Walking Around 2:48
B2 Sense Of Reason 2:00
B3 Remind You 2:32
B4 Corner Of The Street 2:51
B5 Stick With Me 2:42
B6 What You Give Me 3:05
B7 You Sing A Song 1:33
B8 Walking Home 2:03
DOWNLOAD and be somebody in the (s)know HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Raining Down Diamonds" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0780) 2005

Did someone mention Jandek?
As outsider music has reared its less than beautiful head on recent posts,I have an excuse to post some 21st century Jandek.
DISCLAIMER: Stictly,Not recommended to those of a nervous disposition,prone to suicidal thoughts, or gun owning social outcasts or loners with a gripe about society who live near a school.
This Diamond in the mud is one of his first 'post-live performance' albums, and features our hero in the first of a series of photo's featuring Jandek,somewhat provocatively, as a ginger Muslim on the cover.
His 21st century studio output has been overshadowed, sadly, by his emergence from the shadows to perform 'Live!?'; with other ,'proper', musicians!? Making Music that one would expect to see on a proper record label! A Shocking sell-out, or just enhancing the 'Jandek' legend,and/or myth.
This CD is classic Jandek however. Utilising his unpatented detuned bass strings method of aural torture.
Vocally and Lyrically he is in top unacquainted despair form.Very much the musical equivalent of slowly slitting ones wrists in a cold bath and welcoming the peace of death with open bloody arms.
This could clear a warehouse party with everyone on pure Ecstasy and Nitrous-oxide in less than 5 minutes. Laugh I almost cried.....or more accurately, Cry I almost Laughed; which is the eternal paradox when someone first encounters Sterling R. Smith's alter-ego.Its a strange mixture of Hilarious and Disturbing.

I've got loads of this stuff already featured on here....and more in the can!? So i propose a 'Jandek Monday' approach, where I will offer up a new Jandek album to ruin your week,every Monday......and there's loads of 'em too! 

Tracklist:

1 What Things Are 5:54
2 I Stared 4:42
3 It's Forever 3:21
4 You Ancient 3:58
5 Take My Will 8:24
6 New Rendezvous 9:37
7 Your Visitor 8:16

DOWNLOAD if you're happy but crave the highs of depression HERE!

Jandek ‎– "The Ray" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0832) 2019

HAPPY NEW YEAR????? HAPPY NEW JANDEK!!!!!!

Another new year brings forth usually three or four new Jandek albums, so as a new years treat here are last years Jandek albums to try and keep pace with the Ginger One.Including this new studio album!?
I think I have all of the Jandek releases,but not sure,so if anyone out there notices a gap in the collection,feel free to point out this unforgivable oversight.
Its a relief to know that Sterling, in his 75th year, hasn't given up on studio work,and its good to hear his meandering psychedelic outsider folk without that sparse applause at the end of each long track,and even worse the boistrous cheering as the Corwood Representative takes the stage.....yeah very good boys and girls.....mainly white boys it has to be said.....you have a shared secret in that you pretend to like Jandek, well done.One witnessed the same hive-minded behaviour at Sun Ra concerts,Residents shows and Fall gigs.Like a Nuremburg rally for geeks and nerds.
The Ray, the album and the Track, is a,you guessed it, meandering avant folk psychedelic foray into the unknown that clocks in at just over an hour in length. It comes with no information,but I suspect that Jandek plays all the instruments,with maybe Sheila Smith on drums? Could this be the start of a new era in the Corwood release schedule.....I hope so,as it is a rather fine room emptying piece of unsychopated outsider rock.
People like Henry Flynt,the works of whom we have been digesting over the preceeding days,have spent a career searching out the embodiment of the American Primitive.Well Henry, here he is.More profound than the unknown meaning of life,'it is because its like that'.There is no meaning,just as the American Primitive doesn't exist. Jandek's music is the closest thing to an answer I've come across.......just 'Be'.....and keep turning up......which, as it happens, is Woody Allen's mantra on how to be successful.

Tracklist:

1 The Ray 61:40

DOWNLOAD the first ray of the new year sun HERE"!

Jandek ‎– "Dallas Thursday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0824) 2017

Its Jandek Monday in Dallas Thursday.So......
Who needs Miles Davis when we got Jandek playing bass behind a musical picket fence on the grassy knoll of outsider garde Jazz in Dallas?
I'll try and fit in as many JFK assasination references as possible in this short review of yet another Jandek curveball to the head from the Texas Book Depository of improvisation.
Like the Zapruder film, crucial footage was shot of this performance,on May 19th 2016 at the infamous Texas Theatre(Where LHO got arrested), and released on a DVD, which you can pour through in slow motion to prove that this really happened.
Just like any epoch-defining moment in Dallas, the main protagonists sport triple barreled names. Rather than Lee Harvey Oswald, we get get Sterling Richard Smith (the Corwood representative)on Bass, and keyboardist ,Andrew Jordan Miller, with Jazzer Chris Curiel, on Trumpet and normal name.Again we have Sheila Smith with those slightly deranged,almost channeled, assasins vocals.
Another key date at this venue was November 22, 1963 at approximately 1:45 p.m.,when nearly 15 Dallas police officers converged on the Texas Theatre in search of a man who had entered without paying......no not Sterling Richard Smith......I hope.....but none other than Lee Harvey Oswald, who arrived 53 years too early for the Jandek gig.
I think I would have tried to duck in without paying if i knew i was going to see a jazz workout rather than some classic jandek miserablism.....if I wanted to see a cheap rate Miles Davis clone, I'd have gone to another venue.The representative doesn't even sing on this one!
Perhaps this record is the missing link in the conspiracy? Did Jandek fire that fatal bullet from the Grassy knoll and pin it on Oswald? He's certainly old enough, he'd have been 18 in 1963.I reckon he offed JFK for the CIA, and they placed him on an identity reassignment program to hide him, and that new ID was as a musician, even though he had no musical ability whatsoever.
This would explain a lot! Would also explain as to why he was so keen to hide his identity,and less than forthcoming about his life history.
I think I'm onto something here!
Basically It was Jandek wot dunnit!
He probably killed Miles Davis too....he certainly did on may 19th 2016 in the Texas Theatre.
No, i'm only joking, it's rather good actually....even if it is by a suspected murderer.

Tracklisting:

1 Special One 6:53
2 Vacancy 6:19
3 Despair 7:13
4 Sorrow 6:59
5 Calm My Heart 6:28
6 Love Denied 5:48
7 Plans 5:32
8 Numb 5:34
9 Certainty 5:23
10 A Dream 6:17
11 Heartless 5:42
12 Substitute For Love 8:25

DOWNLOAD this substitute for jazz HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Houston Thursday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0818) 2016

Jandek Monday stays in Mr Smiths home town of Houston for Jandek Thursday, where we find our hero playing some short improvised Avant Rock numbers for his public.
Well,I think Jandek is good, even if he seems to have sported a Donald Trump hair do and beard combination at some stage in his long life.
One of my bestest favourite groups of all time are 'God Is My Co-Pilot', and Jandek in Houston on Thrsday July 12th 2012 reminds one very much of said group. Short improvised songs that fall apart, both in rehearsal and in the actual concert. With Sterling the  'Representative' on discordant,distorted electric guitar partnered by Sheilas stream of consciousness singing which largely inspires above a largely uninspiring rhythm section of a couple of uncredited found musicians ;who plod along in a standard alt-rock style,juxtaposing the generic with the unclassifiable.
This could be my favourite 21st century Jandek album?......until next week at least.

Tracklisting:

Rehearsal

1 You're Here 2:01
2 Louder 1:53
3 Take It Off 1:38
4 Garage Apartment 2:57
5 Oh Yeah 1:44
6 My Problem 1:20
7 My Heart Beats 1:37
8 Insane Is Too Much 1:32
9 Just A Rehearsal 1:23

Concert
10 My Letters 2:41
11 Emergency 2:28
12 Your Designs 1:45
13 Dallas Bitches 2:01
14 On The Metro 2:23
15 Walk Talk Leave 2:53
16 Asked For A Refund 3:20
17 Can't Hear You 2:24
18 Floor 2:32
19 Chit Chat 2:24
20 Sit On Your Feet 2:25
21 Not Think 2:51
22 Books That I Read 3:03
23 Beholden To You 3:32
24 People Will Talk 3:40
25 Galveston 2:48
26 Glass Boxes 10:00

DOWNLOAD thirsty for jandek on thursday HERE!

Jandek ‎– "New Orleans Monday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0822) 2016

It's monday again, so it must be 2009, New Orleans,Jandek,with Piano, in a live setting?
Not much music is as perfect for a Monday than Jandek improvising on a piano for one hour? Ably backed up on,what sounds like a steel guitar,Theremin or some kind of effected electronics by Sheila.
If I turned up for a Jandek gig, and they wheeled out the Piano, I'm sure I would leave the auditorium immeadiately, probably without asking for my twenty dollars back.
The bonus is, we get another photo of Jandek as child,with that classic off-center kodak instamatic effect that dogged everyones photo album in the 60's and seventies. Another piece to force into the Jandek jigsaw puzzle?
Maybe he's a real life replicant (from "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep"),and these photo's were part of the personality implants that gave the androids their feelings of 'self'? That would explain a whole lot, except his longevity.
One things for sure, this fellow certainly enhances ones own existential crisis to an uncomfortable level.

Tracklisting:

1. The Fantasy (59:12)

DOWNLOAD the fantasy that jandek is a pianist HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Manhattan Tuesday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0788) 2007

Well, there's only six or so Jandek albums left to post, so fuck Jandek Monday, this is gonna be Jandek week. The day that Notre Dame in Paris lies smoldering, it seems fitting to mourn this classic of Gothic architecture with some classic Gothic outsider misery.
Lets face it, it was just a building, no-one died, but we're still gonna spend billions restoring it, with enough money to end child poverty in africa, or pay for enough subsidised solar panelling to make a large dent on greenhouse emissions.Normally frugal Billionaires have prized open their wallets to donate 100's of millions of Euro's, but remain unmoved when confronted by starving african kids, or even when made aware of the plight of my own personal pet project, Saving The Pangolin!(click here to donate a fiver).
Meanwhile,Grenfell Tower, a purposely sub-standard highrise block inconveniently housing ordinary people(scum) in an expensive part of London,which burned to the ground, with huge loss of life, is as nothing in real terms in comparison with that smoldering national symbol.The needle on the moral compass is spinning wildly,like the wheel of fortune,landing on 'Lose a Turn'for the poor, and 'Bankrupt' for Africa.
When Coventry Cathedral got destroyed by the Luftwaffe, they didn't rebuild it, they built a cost effective,and rather stylish, replacement, leaving the ruins next to it for posterity.They didn't do such a great job with the rest of Coventry sadly. Same thing happened to St Pauls in the 18th century. So should this be for Notre Dame. Nothing lasts forever, its time to move on. There's too much emphasis on 'Things' and not enough on people and suffering
This is why I wanna move on from Jandek Monday, and leave the ruins of Jandeks splintering personality on display, in full, here, for posterity. Alongside the majestic charred edifices of Our Lady in Paris, with this smoking appearence from our Corwood representative in New York.
This performance in Manhattan, at the Anthology Film Archives on sept 6th 2005, is enhanced by the inspiring fret work of Loren Mazzacane Connors on guitar, leaving the groaning and synth work to the Representative.
I know i say this a lot, but i think this is my favourite modern Jandek album;but then again maybe the best Jandek record is the last one you listened to? 

Tracklist:

Afternoon Of Insensitivity:
1-1 Part One 13:04
1-2 Part Two 20:44
1-3 Part Three 9:56
2-1 Part Four 11:24
2-2 Part Five 12:39
2-3 Part Six 7:06
2-4 Part Seven 18:25

DOWNLOAD with sensitivity in the afternoon HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Manhattan Saturday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0835) 2020

 Looking like a shadowy characterisation of Evil from a David Lynch TV series,Jandek is recorded giving the downtown trendies of Manhattan a rendition of classic Jandek,as he returns to the trusty out of tune guitar as if its being played by limp appendages blowing in a stiff breeze. Of course,New York is a place where one can find endless queues of under-employed improv muso's who look like they were extras in 'Friends', willing to sell their granny to have "Played with Jandek" writ large on their meagre CV's. I imagine everyone in the gentrified quarters of Lower Manhattan has some pretentions at being a proficient improviser,in between bursts of banking ,insurance brokering and doing some lines with trendy buddies of,buddies of John Zorn, listening to Ornette Coleman records.....on vinyl, naturally. Jandek is pushing strongly to dislodge Coltrane and Coleman as the essential accessory for the pretentious Artphag in Soho and Tribeca these days. The man is living art I guess after all,accidently,or, by pure bloody minded persistence,like a redneck Gilbert and George,haunting the Bourgeois art spaces of where-ever will have him......it can get quite bitchy between gallery mangers I have heard.

So here's another triple CD set of Jandek being Jandek, to further moisten the brown stained tongues of hipster art directors everywhere.

Tracklist:

1-1 All The Boxes 23:40
1-2 The Gentleman 21:47
1-3 The Corners 25:05
2-1 Incarcerated 16:14
2-2 Chips Of Paint 12:56
2-3 Action Justified 11:32
3-1 No Bond 16:03
3-2 Controlled Addict 16:14
3-3 Hours Of Pain 22:20

DOWNLOAD america's answer to Gilbert and George HERE!