Saturday, 11 April 2020

Peter Finch & Bob Cobbing ‎– "The Italian Job" (Klinker Zoundz ‎– KZ8802C) 1988


I bought this tape because I though it had "The Self-Preservation Society" song from the hit movie starring Michael Caine and Noel Coward on it......of course, NOT the crass American remake,the original one......naturally I jest, but you can't rule out the possibility that someone did? Mistaking it for the Quincy Jones penned,classic soundtrack,on cassette.
Now the scene is set, we can sit back and imagine the purchaser slipping this cassette into his Sanyo music centre and making himself comfortable ready to sing-a-long to those embarassing cocknwy-isms crowbared in by the American producers.
What he...its always a'he' isn't it?....what he, gets instead, is Bob Cobbing and Peter Finch whinnying,grunting and croaking through a bank of voice processors for half an hour,and NO singalong to be seen,or heard.Not only could this empty a room, it could empty a full football stadium, in orderly queues,by the start of side two.
This of course is a desirable quality in any music with any meat on the bones.And,to be topical yet again,a very good tool for 'Social Distancing'.Play this over a network of speaker systems and everyone is guaranteed to remain behind locked doors for the duration.
When I say everyone, I mean 'Normal' people, not 'Us'.Ah bless 'em, they haven't been exposed to music, or otherwise, as much as ...er...'Us'? So, they don't understand, bless 'em again.This is where the 'Pop' of the future comes from.The Stormzy's of the 22nd century will be doing stuff like this, and it'll be number one.Mainly because the Virus will have wiped out 90% of humanity by then.Leaving the 10% who didn't run away from a Bob Cobbings tape,but listened intently to remain socially distant.In turn causing those with the virus,and those with simplistic musical taste, to stay away and enhance the 10%'s chance of surviving.They do say a symptom of Covid19 is, coincidently, 'A Loss Of Taste'.
Then ,post-pandemic,all that are left to raid abandoned supermarkets and hunt human flesh will be Bob Cobbing fans.
This is Evolution in action.
All together now....
"We are the Self-Preservation Society,
We are the Self-Preservation Society.
Gotta get a bloomin' move on...tra la la la la la laaaaa la etc"

DOWNLOAD the bob cobbing preservation society HERE!

5 comments:

kevinesse said...

neat! thanks!

Nick said...

Thanks for this Jonny.
And remember, you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off

Wolfgang said...

You are painting a rather attractive picture of the future here! I will instantly download and listen intensively to belong to the chosen ones!

Jonny Zchivago said...

It Them and Us Wolfgang.
They are those out there who pretend to like this music,beware, they want in this ideological bunker.They'll say anything just to survive!...."Yeah I Like Bob Cobbing" said the starving and infected estate agent. For your own protection keep indoors and bolt the door.

Jonny Zchivago said...

@ nick....i dunno if they kept that line in that ,apparently,shite american remake. i saw what they did to 'Get Carter' and 'The Wicker Man' and chose not to watch 'the Italian Job' remake......shudder!....its as if Ken Loach remade The Godfather, or Mike Leigh remade 'Mean Streets'...which i reckon is a good idea?