Various ‎Artists – "Ритмическая Гимнастика (Aerobic Exercises)" (Мелодия ‎– C60 21591 005) 1985

"This disc prepared by "Melodia" together with the USSR Sport Committee will replace the teacher. This record is the first in the series of programmes in aerobics, intended for collective, individual and even family exercises."...it says on the cover.

Replace the Teacher?....what happened to her?

Reassigned to do important heroic work treating radiation burns at Chernobyl no doubt?She's now long dead after contracting Non-Hodgkinsons Lymphoma at the age of 29.Then posthumously decorated as a Hero of the Soviet Union before being cremated as a radiation hazard.

The image of Jane Fondski on the cover clashes with my preferred vision of a Soviet Aerobics Instructor. A steroided up brute of a woman with a five o'clock shadow,stuffed into a uniform,stomping through the exercises wearing jackboots and a scowl.

I certainly feel a need to obey the voice on the record, if only I knew what the fuck shes banging on about.

The dialogue set over the top of some elevator synth pop could easily have been something that Jim Whelton ,of Homosexuals/Die Trip Computer Die fame, would have made back in the eighties as L Voag or Gus Coma. Far weirder than anything Nurse With Wound could have hoped to have made back in the day.But it was just another day in the asbestos factory for the Melodja back room staff.

You may think me in need of,or already on medication, but I play this album a lot....its out there maaaaan!

Tracklist:

A1 К Звездам (Towards The Stars) 1:02
A2 Сафари (Safari) 3:47
A3 Игра (Game) 1:21
A4 В Движении (On The Move) 2:18
A5 Заход Солнца (Sunset) 3:58
A6 Танец (Dance) 2:06
A7 Веретено (Spindle) 2:11
A8 К Звездам (Towards The Stars) 1:05
B1 Интродукция (Introduction) 1:43
B2 Просто Так (Just So) 2:29
B3 Ралли (Rally) 2:12
B4 Ручей (Stream) 1:47
B5 Аттракцион (Attraction) 2:18
B6 К Звездам (Towards The Stars) 3:03
B7 Мираж (Mirage) 3:35
B8 В Движении (On The Move) 1:23

DOWNLOAD the heroic socialist pain and feel those electrodes burn HERE!