The Comes – "No Side" (City Rocker Records – DOG 2) 1983

One of the more annoying traits of post-punk hardcore records is when they get their artist mate to hand draw the album art. Usually it's a bunch of cartoon punx in denim and levver, but I dunno whats going on here? 

It could be a terrible tattoo art version of The Comes lead singer, the delightful Chitose.....(pronounced Shit'ouse? maybe?) crossed with Princess Diana....after the accident.

In real life Shit'ouse is a lot easier on the eye, and doesn't hold back in the ferocious vocals department.These are the things that display more than a passing resemblance to Melt Banana's less experimental moments.

The Lovely Shit'Ouse

I Phink I Wanna move to japan.

Talking of Shit Houses, In my charming council estate back in the UK, the really inbred family on my street used to have "Shit'ouse" daubed on the broken door of the toilet in dripping black gloss.These were the local representatives of the Underclass,and frequently decided to threaten me with violence,if only for the fact that i could actually stand up straight,rather than be trapped in a permanent state of scoliosis.That's genetics for ya.

Early Factory Records signing Kevin Hewick also grew up in the same area(Eyres Monsell,Leicester),and has just released a new Album on that very subject, called "Monsell Skyline"...it's great.  

Eyres Monsell,A hard, bleak, hopeless place....but I love it,in a stockholm Syndrome kind of way;and whilst drunk last Tuesday, i said i wanted my ashes to be scattered there.We are strange beasts us Humans innit?

Tracklist:

1 No Side
2 Case
3 Public Cicle
4 Wa-Ka-Me
5 さらけだせ
6 究極
7 バカコケ
8 人間狩り
9 Panic
10 工場
11 Medium

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The Stalin – "Trash" (Political Records – MIG2505L) 1981

 Hmmm,Rather exciting is this Japanese Punk Rock stuff.

And a refreshing change is that no Jap Punk ever reckons they invented Punk Rock,ever!!!

It helps that they never had any Bubblepunk proto power pop groups with Brian Jones hairdo's hanging out at the jap version of the Roundhouse.

You wouldn't find any Brian Jones hairdo's in Tokyo(or London) in 1980 ,and beyond....but you will find a stampede of Colin from GBH look-a-likes, and  weedy versions of 'Wattie' from the Exploited .

To a large portion of the planet, this is what 'Punk' is all about, and who can argue against that?...despite the dodgy version of the Bowl-cut punk bubblegum classic 'Blitzkrieg Bop' making up the numbers.

Nobodies Perfect

Tracklist:

A1 解剖室
A2 冷蔵庫
A3 Trash
A4 天上ペニス
A5 革命的日常
A6 主義者 (イスト)
A7 インテリゲンチャー
A8 バキューム
A9 Bird
A10 溺愛
B1 メシ喰わせろ
B2 ハエ
B3 ハード・コア
B4 猟奇ハンター
B5 電動コケシ
B6 アーチスト
B7 ブタに真珠
B8 Gass
B9 サル
B10 撲殺

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Various Artists– "Springtime In Belsen" - (Sadist Records – SIB 001) 1998

Like some time-warped anti-matter west-end Juke Box musical,this insults on every level.For example The Yodler Killers ,from Switzerland, has the one and only Dr Josef Mengele on drums.....this is a little known fact about the original 'Angel Of Death' himself.

Luckily I like my Punk Rock irreverent,beyond Stupid,and played by a bunch of musically incompetent politically incorrect continental European burks....;don't we all? 

This is the factor that made the Stranglers stand out from the otherwise 'woke' before their time punk throng.Mainly thanks to having a Franglais classical guitarist and karate black belt in their midst,arriving via Guildford.

Frankly, anything with a track by Italian retardo's 'Tampax' on it, has to be worth a quick track skipping listen.

I have reviewed... gulp...."Tampax(in the cunt)" before.......(OMG?)....I paraphrase myself...it's an ultimate example of the kind of retarded sexuality last mentioned in Spinal Tap. Giggling in the classroom, unthink rock by repressed catholic boys who've just heard that ladies have a menstrual cycle, and....giggle....they use tampons....giggle,titter.
This tune is very probably the zenith of Stupid as we understand it. Download it and appall your Woke friends, especially if you don't want them to be your friends anymore;........unless they're the kind of lowdown pond-dwelling fuckwits that Tampax are, then they'll want to be with you forever.

The K9's are the cred giving English Punk band here,even giving Tampax a serious challenge in the ignoramus stakes.

There's even a Noo Yawk 'punk' band too,who sound like an English Punk band????

What The Prats, from Scotland, are doing on here is almost insulting,them being one of the greatest groupz wot ever existed...right?

SEHR SCHNELL do a blatantly plagarised version of Wire's "Lowdown",probably lifted from an imported copy of the "Live at Roxy" Album?

The punk thievery stops not there, as Japanese punk by numbers band ,"The Stalin", do Blitzkreig Bop for us, just in case you've never heard it...which i think they secretly hope you haven't...but we have,so...?

I guess this is someone trying to do something like one of those Killed By Death compilations,which sell in their thousands, and the profits go to some hidden Finnish bank account.

However its fantastically stupid stuff, and full of the kind of things that may get you Cancelled.....a nobler cause I can not imagine.

It's Banned from being sold on Discogs...what more glowing a recommendation do ya need?

Altogether now....."Its Springtime for Belsen and Anarchieeeeee" 

Insert with notes included.

A1 taken from 'Rattenloch EP' 7" (Ratt Records, 1979)
A2 taken from '1990's Pop E.P.' 7" (Rough Trade, 1980)
A3 taken from 'Son Of Sam' 7" (Kapitalist Records, 1977)
A4 taken from 'Bunker' 7" (Another Swiss Label, 1979)
A5 taken from 'Life Of Rian' 7" (Sånn'ja Records, 1980)
A6 taken from 'Me Myytiin Itsemme' 7" (Poko Records, 1979)
A7 taken from 'スターリニズム' 7" (Political Records, 1981)
A8 taken from 'Silvias Unge / Hitlers Barn' 7" (Kloaak, 1978)
A9 taken from Hitler SS / Tampax split 7" (Compact Cassette Records, 1979)
B1 and B9 taken from 'Jacot Masturbette' 7" (Zaki Records, 1979)
B2 taken from 'The K9 Hassle' 7" (Dog Breath Records, 1979)
B3 taken from '3-Spor EP' 7" (Krakk, 1979)
B4 taken from 'Only Fools Pretend To Be Happy' 7" (Sweet Harmony, 1979)
B5 taken from '1980' LP (CBS, 1980)
B6 taken from 'Hot Love / Die Wüste Lebt!' 7" (Periphery Perfume, 1977)
B7 taken from 'EP' 7" (Savage Music, 1979)
B8 taken from 'Vaihda Vapaalle' 7" (Love Records, 1979)

Tracklisting:

A1 Dirt Shit– Discoscheisser

A2 Prats*– Disco Pope

A3 Chain Gang– Gary Gilmore In The Island Of Dr. Moreau

A4 Technicolor*– Bunker

A5 Norgez Bank– Springtime In Belsen

A6 Ypo-Viis– Me Myytiin Semme

A7 Stalin– Buta Ni Shinju

A8 Kriminella Gitarrer– Hitler's Barn

A9 Tampax– Tampax In The Cunt

B1 Yodler Killers– Jacotte Masturbette

B2 K9's– Sweeny Todd

B3 Oslo Bors– Smukke Folks Born

B4 Checkmate – Weekend

B5 Brats– Punk Fashion

B6 Nasal Boys– Die Wuste Lebt

B7 Young Identities– Positive Thinking

B8 Sehr Schnell– Vaihda Vapaalee

B9 Yodler - KillersSoussolrock

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