Horrorcomic ‎– "England '77" (Castle Music ‎– CMQCD1263) 2006

A fake Punk legend, the awfully named, Horrorcomic, were cobbled together from Lightening Records' backroom staff. Obviously Lightening couldn't find their own spikey tops to exploit, so they sensibly made their own...quite like Maclaren did with the Pistols. But in this case the members looked like beered up status quo fans with mid length hair and denim flares. There's also a suspicion that they were Gary Glitter fans, which doesn't nescessarily disqualify them from being 'Punk', as Johnny Rotten was also a Glitter fan, and so the fuck am I! The Glitter Band Guitar sound will live beyond eternity....unfortunately, Horrorcomic won't...but its enjoyable stuff nonetheless.

Horrorcomic, resplendant in cutting edge  vivien Westwood outfits.

Tracklisting:

1 England '77
2 Cut Your Throat
3 I Don't Mind
4 Support To A Name Band
5 Jesus Crisis
6 The Night Elvis Left The Building
7 Razor Attack
8 Nowhere To Hide
9 Probation Officer
10 Change That Neck (aka Wring That Neck)
11 Sex In The Afternoon
12 The Exorcist
13 Noisy Bastard
14 I'm All Hung Up On Pierrepoint

DOWNLOAD this horror HERE!

The Plague ‎– "X Tapes 1976 - 1981" (Bin Liner Records ‎– RUBBISHLP006) 2005

The Plague,apparently, played the Roxy more times than any other band? If there was a cancellation they rang up The Plague...and they even turned up, complete with an entourage from their local pub, The Old swan,in Battersea!?
A well drilled unit in the art of sounding exactly like a punk group should sound for mums and dads who read the daily mirror in 1977.So much so that they begin to sound like one of those bands that turn up in a TV series,a group of actors playing Punk Rockers.Only in character for the shoot, and not doing enough research.
However, I can't recall any other band of the era posing with an umbrella with a fake hand attached to the top,(the one held aloft by the one that looks like the singer who was in Mud), and a liberal use of chains.
An enjoyable outsider punksploitation romp, complete with a late seventies cockney twang.
Shockingly they have reformed since 2015!!!? Nah!...don't do it boys...pleeeeze!

Tracklisting:

1 "Come Together"
2 "Lay Me in the Moonlight"
3 "In Love"
4 "Wimpy Bar Song" (B-side of "In Love" single)
5 "Nuffin' Doing"
6 "I Don't Wanna Be Like Jimmy"(B-side of "Out With Me All Night" single)
7 "Dog Days"
8 "The End of the World"
9 "Er!" (B-side of "Out With Me All Night" single)
10 "Out with Me All Night"
11 "Stop" (vocals by Sue Slack)
12 "On the Dole" (from the original Plague demo tape)
13 "Again and Again" (from the original Plague demo tape)
14 "Nightmares" (from the original Plague demo tape)

DOWNLOAD an antidote to the punk plague HERE!

F-X ‎– "Now Where Were We?" (Only Fit For The Bin Records ‎– OFFTB019) 2011

Should be called,"Where Are We Now?However,"F-X's self financed single from 1977-ish is one of the few songs about football that isn't toe-curlingly awful. "Souths Gonna Rise Again" is a simple little dittie about that oasis of excitment in the working mans week, the Football Match. Once the proud possesion of the working class, now, like everything else including Punk Rock, gentrified and stolen by the nouveau riche.
I'm under the impression that the footy team in question is Brighton and Hove Albion?....I may be wrong? Who have indeed risen again, but soon to sink back to where they undoubtedly belong.
There are clearly members sporting post glam hair-do's, and the obligatory long-haired Black Sabbath fan in the ranks. Punk rock was an opportunity for both of these types to live out their fantasies rather than change the world.
One of the main results of Punk Rock was the re-emergence of a speeded up version of Heavy Metal and the NWOBHM groups.Then of course, the real dumb ones just stuck to the Ramones template ad infinitum.Hence the Lurkers/Ramones covers mixed in with two Bowie numbers;whose influence on Punk Rock cannot be over estimated...for one, thats where Richard Hell got his hair-do from,and nicked gawd knows what else.

This compilation brings together those three magnificent tracks (tracks 1,2,&3) from their sole single release, and some long lost demo's and rehearsal tapes to flesh out the legend.
This was the folk music of 1977,and fittingly, they even manage to fit in a punked up version of a traditional english Folk tune to reaffirm that Punk Rock is indeed Folk music first,entertainment second, and art third(accidently of course!).
Dunno which one was Clive Todd (Clive?What kind of punk rock name is that?), but he died rather young.Good to see that none of the other members ever appeared in any other band or even attempted to release another record ever again.Sadly, a route not followed too often by more sucessful musicians.The Ramones,for example, should have knocked it on the 'ead as soon as their first album hit the racks.They just wanted to be pop stars,thats why they sounded like a mixture of The Beach Boys, Bay City Rollers and Slade.....as admitted proudly by Johnny Ramone on many ocassions.
F-X just wanted to be the Ramones, or The Lurkers, for one record, then disappear.....this they achieved very efficiently.

Tracklisting:

1 Souths Gonna Rise Again 2:55
2 O.B.E. 2:36
3 Slag 3:02
4 Jenny 2:15
5 My Baby 3:13
6 Queen Bitch 2:59
7 Sally 3:03
8 Sounds Like The Jam 3:57
9 Rock & Roll Star 2:45
10 You're Gonna Kill That Girl 2:36

DOWNLOAD these not so special F-X HERE!

No Way – "Live @ The Beeb" (Rave Up Records ‎– EPS014) 2015

No way did No Way ever get to record at the esteemed BBC?
Yeah, BBC Radio Cleveland, not Maida Vale studios for Radio One.
It's now 1979 and one can't imagine local radio had a wealth of Post-Punk talent to choose from, I think Basczax were the only Post-Punk group on the block,but too ambitious to stay. Unlike No Way, who not only stuck rigidly to the 1978 template, had no ambition also. Remarkably this session was fossilized on the shelves of Radio Cleveland for 30-odd years.Luckily there was still some viable DNA left inside the dormant magnetic waves frozen within.Like a punk rock jurassic park, these tunes have been resurected to titilate the inner ears of the modern generation.
There is some unfortunate photographic evidence on the rear cover that No Way reformed,playing to half full venues of sweaty shaven headed ruddy cheeked middle aged 'Punx'.Something that shouldn't be encouraged,but if they enjoyed it so what.Just waiting for 'No Way', 'the musical' next.

Tracklisting:

A1 Breaking Point
A2 Crazy Carol Carter
A3 30 Seconds
A4 Senile Delinquents
A5 Jeopardy
A6 Possessions
B1 TV Pox
B2 No Reality
B3 Jealous Girl
B4 Idiots Delight
B5 Crazy Carol Carter #2
B6 Destiny

DOWNLOAD some prehistoric provincial punk rock HERE!

No Way ‎– "Senile Delinquents" (Only Fit For The Bin Records ‎– OFFTB001) 2009

They came from Middlesbrough, and had a lead singer called 'Matey'!?...Perfect Outsider Punk material if ever such a thing existed?
As a yoof, I had many a short break in the Middlesbrough area,as my Father's family were inmates of this very grim urban sprawl.
Dominated by the city sized ICI chemical plant at Billingham, Middlesbrough's main claims to fame, were, The worlds longest Advertising Hoarding, which sat atop one of the stands at Ayresome Park,home of Middlesbrough Football Club;and the fact that it was rarely out of the top two in the annual worst places to live in England list,jostling for the number one spot with Coventry.
Ayresome Park has been replaced now by a posh new stadium and most of the extra-awful bits have been gentrified,as is the fashion; but the Chemical Plant still sxists,pumping out whatever garbage into the ecosystem to form the minds of young men like 'Matey'(Marty Powell),the now deceased front man of 'No Way'.
Of course, Middlesbrough had 'The Rock Garden', where punk groups from all over the UK played, including an early gig by Warsaw aka Joy Division in 1977, which i'd like to think 'No Way' witnessed,or even supported?
These tracks were all recorded in 1978, and includes the three tracks from No Way's self-financed, and impossibly rare single “Breaking Point” backed with the equally glorious “30 Seconds” and the immortal ,“TV Pox”.
Great no-nonsense, finely honed, Original UK Punk rock from the provinces.

Tracklisting:

1 Breaking Point 3:10
2 TV Pox 1:48
3 30 Seconds 0:59
4 Destiny 3:57
5 Crazy Carolcarter 2:49
6 Jeopardy 2:44
7 Senile Delinquents 2:37
8 No Reality 2:16
9 Idiots Delight 3:10

DOWNLOAD this way HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Camber Sands Sunday" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0800) 2009

FUCK!.....Scott Walker's just died!!!...how depressing!?
Nevertheless...life goes on......
Hi-De-Hi, Ho-De-Ho, It's Jandek as a Pontins Blue Coat providing anti-matter  entertainment for the campers at Pontins Holiday camp, Camber Sands 2006.These holiday, concentration camps,were a relic from 1950's Britain, when the UK was skint due to World war two.Having spent all that stolen wealth from the empire in defeating Nazi Germany for everyone, austerity measures meant that no-one had any money.I notice that the bad guys in WW2 got plenty of free money from the USA...the uk got a massive loan which was finally paid off a few years ago...we should have joined the Axis it seems?)
These camps provided brief cheap light relief for the downtrodden populous,as portrayed in TV comedy classic "Hi-De-Hi"(hear Peggy from He de Hi mentioning Mercury Rev here).
Camber Sands was a Pontins holiday camp,and their 'Blue Coats' who entertained the public.Rival Butlins, had 'Red coats', and fictional camp, 'Maplins' had 'Yellow versions. In a desperate attempt to stave off bankruptcy, some bright spark thought of having an alternative music festival in the grounds, off-season;this was a major sucess, and even transferred its formula to the USA.
Also it provided an opportunity for an early concert from the newly 'outed' Jandek
This was at the "All Tomorrows Parties" festival, and sadly Jandek was on the DEVENDRA BANHART DAY, rather than the J.Macsis Day, alongside Eater! Oh No, he had to share the bill with nonsense like Bat For Lashes and Vashti Bunyan. Bert Jansch was also on the bill, and one can only imagine his thoughts on Jandeks guitar technique...he (Bert) died soon after this.
The Corwood Rep had various unnamed support musicians, trying their level best to out-Jandek each other, but it all adds up to a rather pleasant mess. He-De-Hi campers!

Tracklisting:

1 Pragmatic 11:24
2 The Crushed Image 8:45
3 The Idea Of You 11:19
4 Hair Of The Dog 11:05
5 Gone Waiting 6:37
6 The Rapture 8:56
7 My Party 10:53
8 Stolen Powers 7:09

DOWNLOAD jandek at the seaside HERE!

The Hoax ‎– "So What" (Hologramme Music ‎– HOAX3) 1980

Manchester standard Punk trio, The Hoax's only long-ish player from 1980.
Including that drummer bloke from The Smiths, Mike Joyce?
Morrisey's punk flirtation was in the far cooler 'Nosebleeds', with that Durutti Column bloke.
Its all rather entertaining power pop punk rock, effected in an efficient manner.
Its the kind of band thats fun to play in rather than watch or listen to too much.

Tracklisting:

A1 Rats In The Cellar
A2 Some Say
A3 Nice Girls
A4 Ich Habe Keine Spur
B1 Radio D.J.
B2 T.V. Addict
B3 Rich Folk
B4 Schizophrenia

DOWNLOAD or what HERE!

Bazoomis ‎– "White Washed Kids ('77-'78)" (Only Fit For The Bin Records ‎– OFFTB021) 2014

Some bands/groups/combo's, whatever the fuck you wanna call 'em, are doomed from the moment they pick a dumbass name, like 'Bazoomis', at the end of one fatal drunken evening.
Outsider Punk this may be, but they ain't half bad. A mixture of original UK punk and its precursor ,Pub Rock, from the Johnny Moped skool of excellence. Judging by the cover image they were from The Damned side of the street, more interested in 'Fun' than Anarchy......good choice.
Trouble is most of them are dead now,with only two surviving members. Too much 'Fun' will indeed kill you.
They apparently played at all the trendy 'Punk' haunts, such as The Roxy and The Vortex, after being invited by Clash mate, Keith Levine, to the Pistols/Clash/Buzzcocks Screen On The Green gig in 76, so naturally they should try it too? Not so 'Outsider' after all?
'Bazoomis' is apparently Russian for 'Madness', which would have been a better name.
They went on to become 'The Expressos' with a new singer, and Johnnie Christo had a number one in the USA as part of 'The Escape Club'.....he's was the luckiest one, as he still lives as well as having hits.
No releases in their lifetime, but they did manage to leave a posthumous pot of studio demos from 1977/78.

Tracklisting:

1 Bundle
2 The Pusher
3 Hot Station
4 Punk Head
5 Give It All To Me
6 Jimmy Slim
7 Don't Listen To What They Say
8 White Washed Kids
9 Rabies
10 Sulphate Depression
11 Plastic People
12 Live
13 Babelonia
14 Negative Boys
15 The Pusher (Long Version)
16 Punk Head #2
17 Slimey Blink

DOWNLOAD bazoomi madness HERE!

Silent Noise ‎– "Whatever Happened To Us?" (Only Fit For The Bin Records ‎– OFFTB002) 2010

In the eighties we used to dig up old lost outsider psych bands, like Wimple Winch and put together lost tracks for eagerly consumed compilation albums.In the early noughties and beyond, we now search out unknown Outsider Punk combo's from 1977, and do the same.

So,from that seething volcano of punk angst,...er....Norwich, came the remanents of the town's first Punk combo, the Toads.....but this time with tunes, and a new name.....Silent Noise!?

Of course Norwich is more famous for being the location for "Sale Of The Century" in the 1970's, and the fictional home town of Alan Partridge. I doubt Silent Noise ever got any tunes on Radio Norwich, but their music certainly has that charming isolated quality of this fenland City. Just looking at the only picture of the group in existence, this was as far away as one could get from The Kings Road in London.

This was how provincial, or, Outsider Punk, as I like to call it.....looked. Aviator sunglasses, flared jeans,pullovers, permed or blow dryed hair...this is how the 'punks'outside of the London clique looked.In fact most of the kids in the Roxy and Vortex wore the same stuff.No-one outside the Clash and The Pistols could afford to shop in Seditionaries.No Richard Hells here!

A few slightly rude 'Punk' style tunes float around the very sixties influenced power pop, and even a bit of polite violence. These boys sound too nice, too embaressed, to be banned from anywhere......Oi..."sling Your Hook", replaces Fuck Off, and Bastards is about as subversive as they get.

All this is ,of course ,highly charming.Probably not what the Daily Mirror reading popularists assumed 'Punk Rock' to be; but thats what it largly was. The lyrics to "Hit Record" likely sums up the totality of their Punk Manifesto. This is all far more honest than John Rotten ever was, despite his tiresome protests of himself being the only 'Honest' rock star ever!

Listening to this inspid rebellion as entertainment for the provincial masses, i feel nothing but boredom at the prospect of listening to those knob'eads in the UK Subs, or to Sandinista!?...what a pile of shite was that?

This posthumous compilation collects their only single, and adds 15 tracks sourced from old cassettes of demo's and rehearsals, between 1978-1980.

Tracklisting:

1-All Through The Night
2-Bastards
3-Follow The Noise
4-Heart To Heart
5-Hit Record
6-I've Been Hurt (So Many Times Before)
7-Kick You In The Head
8-Missing You Today
9-Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
10-Silent Noise
11-Sling Your Hook
12-Tell Me
13-Whatever Happened To Us?
14-You Don't Have To Say That You Love Me
15-You Need Someone
16-Nightclubbing
17-Baby I Know

DOWNLOAD silently HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Chicago Wednesday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0804) 2010

A lovely photo of Chicago adorns the cover, or more likely an impression of how Jandek sees Chicago.A wasteland, devoid of human life.
He's got two trendy musicians from the Windy City's burgeoning underground music scene. That bloke from Tortoise/ Bastro/ etc, and a sophisticated Jazzer,who's played with everyone in the city.
Of course the audience love it, they wouldn't dare to be seen doing otherwise.

Tracklisting:

1-1 Bad Times 13:18
1-2 Red Skirt 12:01
1-3 Land Of God 11:18
1-4 The Lost Ruse 11:20
2-1 Blue Plastic Mat 11:48
2-2 Let Me Go 11:17
2-3 My Vow 13:54

DOWNLOAD faster than a speeding tortoise HERE!

Tronics ‎– "Love Backed By Force" (Alien Records ‎– BEALIEN 3) 1981

The UK DIY White stripes,or Shite Stripes(?),Ziro Baby and Gaby de Vivienne ,aka Tronics,and their first vinyl LP.Complete with pots'n'pans drums,minimal buzzsaw guitar, and a song about a girlfriend in a coma; which I suspect a certain Stephen Morrissey may well have nabbed the intellectual property of.
Certainly an unusual record, with a rare hint of Tudor era pastoral electronic chamber music popping up inbetween the stripped down Rock'n'Roll and minimal Punk.
Oh, and by the way,for those that are interested,Ziro Baby's Hair was done by Harold?.....it says on the sleeve.

Tracklisting:

Side Odin
A1 Charlie Manson
A2 Love Backed By Force
A3 T.V. On In Bed
A4 There Talking About Us
A5 Ice Flod Festival
A6 Ultra Pol
A7 My Baby's In A Coma

Side DVA
B1 Min Dama
B2 Spending Time
B3 Love Tan (In A Two Way Circus)
B4 L.B.B.F. (Reprise)
B5 Crush On You
B6 Le Monde

DOWNLOAD this with your own freewill HERE!

Tronics ‎– "What's The Hubub Bub" (Tronics Label T004) 1980

Formed and fronted by some fine upstanding fellow called Zarjaz Baby, also known as Ziro Baby? Obviously not the name on his birth certificate. Zarjaz was once reported to claim that he was married to Marilyn Monroe in the afterlife.

Bit of a loony then, but nonetheless a very early exponent of the DIY art form.More frequent than not,performing as a duo,like some abstract version of The White Stripes but without the tiresome record collection.

What's left behind reveals itself as a low-speed collision of Velvets guitar violence, primitive tape collage, 50s rock n' roll, and an intergalactic radio broadcast, marshalled nonchalantly into some serious tunes by the outsider pop sensibilities of nutty Ziro Baby. Apparently recorded in a kitchen, these ramshackle tracks couldn't be more minimal: aside from the clipped guitar, there's often little else besides some seriously loping drums (think of a hungover Mo Tucker, or early Sun Ra) and Ziro's weasely vocals.

Tracklisting:

1 How Do You Do Again 3:53
2 Helsinki 3:44
3 Hard On Me 4:17
4 Raw Reggae 2:09
5 Space Message 1:14
6 The Other Man 3:02
7 Alone 1:19
8 The Shark Fucks Intro 6:46
9 The Shark Fucks 3:24
10 I'm A Diver 5:10
11 Piece For A Galaxy Juke Box I 2:44
12 Piece For A Galaxy Juke Box II 1:54

DOWNLOAD to find out what the hubub wasn't all about HERE!

The Fall ‎– "Live 1977" (Cog Sinister ‎– COGVP114CD) 2000

This almost unlistenable cassette,found at the back of a cupboard in the Cog Sinister Office,was recorded live at the Stretford Civic Centre on 23 December 1977, and features John The Postman on vocals for an encore of 'Louie Louie'; his signature tune.
It's also the earliest known recordings of The Fall, in the classic original line-up. For me this IS The Fall, and not the Mark E. Smith Band, which it was to become.
Notably, this was Tony Friel's last performance with the band,er.... sorry mark...Group. Whose departure was the beginning of the end of The Fall, and the start of Mark E. Smith and backing group.
Friel was the one who came up with the name after all.
The recording is pretty ropey, and noisy,with the vocals being somewhat over saturated,but its interesting to hear the early Fall being rather more 'Punky' than they had latterly intended.

Tracklisting:

1 Psycho Mafia 2:40
2 Last Orders 2:14
3 Repetition 4:42
4 Dresden Dolls 3:45
5 Hey Fascist 2:50
6 Frightened 5:22
7 Industrial Estate 2:23
8 Stepping Out 3:32
9 Bingo Master's Breakout 2:40
10 Oh Brother 4:10
11 Cop It 3:04
12 Futures And Pasts 2:50
13 Louie Louie (With John The Postman) 6:36

DOWNLOAD the spirit(s) of '77 HERE!

Various ‎Artists – "The Disparate Cogscienti" (Cog Sinister ‎– COG 2) 1988

A compilation of Mark E. Smiths mates on his label Cog Sinister,including three John The Postman tracks that are surprisingly, rather good!? John had just returned from living in San Francisco by this time, so it must have had an inspiring effect on him.
Marks old DIY 'legend' mates ,The Hamsters, have a couple of tunez too, but you can get their entire unreleased back catalogue on Bandcamp HERE!
Industrial cassette making enigma, Phillip Johnson also crops up, with a musique concrete version of the Fall's infamous B-side manifesto, "Repetition".
The rest is a mixture of standard Indie (Beatrice),Felt-a-alikes (The Lowthers),a no-budget Gun Club (Obi Men),and tongue in cheek working mens club muzak (Mr A. Valler).
Wasn't 'God' that industrial metal group with Justin Broadwick and Kevin Martin of Godflesh fame within the ranks?...if so, they were once really good, or really God?
MES himself makes a brief, uncredited appearance, between sides, doing a reading over a bit of "Tempo House".

Tracklisting:

A1 –The Obi Men - Her Address
A2 –The Hamsters - Ole Spain
A3 –The Hamsters - Stupid Songs
A4 –The Lowthers - Sylvia
A5 –John The Postman's Peurile - Kowalski
A6 –John The Postman & The Legendary Lost - Come To The Sabbat

Interlude - The Fall

B1 –Beatrice - A Girl Like Me
B2 –God - Sounds Like Thunder
B3 –Mr. A. Valler - Mr. A. Valler
B4 –Andrew Berry - Unsatisfied
B5 –The Next Step - Pseudo Drama Time
B6 –Philip Johnson - One Forthy Three
B7 –John The Postman & The Legendary Lost - Work

DOWNLOAD a mark edward smith sanctioned compilation HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Bristol Wednesday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0801) 2010

Another double CD,Recorded live at Cube Cinema in Bristol, England on Wednesday, May 17, 2010.

Here we find the 'Representative' hitting every wrong wrong note on Ornette Coleman's shitlist. We've heard of the search for the thirteenth note in jazz, but this performance isn't even slightly interested in finding the other twelve on a journey outside of musical structure between the gaps of standard notation.The chewed up and stretched cassette tape effect is just a welcome extra.Oh yeah, he sings,groans, whatever you wanna call it, too!

Play this when unwanted guests drop by for supper, and they'll soon find excuses to leave you alone.Could not only clear a pub in thirty seconds,it'd probably make the stupider ones get violent. If that isn't the definition of 'Art' then i dunno what is.
Tracklisting:

Set One
1-1 Only Twenty Two 24:28
1-2 All I Had 9:05
1-3 Your Plan 10:45
1-4 Wrap It Up 11:38
1-5 More Than I Was 19:37
Set Two
2-1 Mermaids Calling 16:22
2-2 Not To Die 16:58
2-3 Another Vista 15:40
2-4 Hello To You 13:24
2-5 The Lesson 9:13

DOWNLOAD a nice pair of bristols HERE!

John the Postman's Psychedelic Rock 'N' Roll 5 Skinners ‎– "Steppin' Out (Of Holts Brewery)" (Bent Records ‎– big bent four) 1979

Well, he didn't give up his dayjob, and here's why.

"I think the Buzzcocks left the stage and the microphone was there and a little voice must have been calling 'This is your moment, Jon.' I've no idea to this day why I sang 'Louie Louie', the ultimate garage anthem from the 60s. And why I did it a cappella and changed all the lyrics apart from the actual chorus, I have no idea. I suppose it was my bid for immortality, one of those great bolts of inspiration.For some reason it appeared to go down rather well. I suppose it was taking the punk ethos to the extreme – anyone can have a go. Before punk it was like you had to have a double degree in music. It was a liberation for someone like me who was totally unmusical but wanted to have a go." (J T. Postman 2008)

Yes. punk the great leveller.
At first it was Ex-clusive, then it became In-clusive;then there are moments like this when we wished it was Ex-clusive again, or better still, didn't happen at all,as it seems to have not today.
The DIY ethic unhatched much buried genius,but also a lot of no-marks high on cheap weed left their skid-marks on this particular musical toilet. Should have been 'Keep It To Yourself' rather than 'Do It Yourself'. These same also-rans then learned to play an instrument and became The Exploited or a NWOBHM band.
The main thing Punk lacked was a Filter tip to keep the smoke pure;but we love a bit of tar don't we?
Never ask the Public anything or you'll get Heavy Metal ,Brexit or Trump.Beware the Hive mind.

Tracklisting:

A1 A Well Known Jewish Tune
A2 G.L.O.R.I.A.
B1 Senegal
B2 Mahatma Ghandi's Heartbreakers

DOWNLOAD a pint from holts brewery HERE!

John The Postman's Puerile ‎– "Puerile" (Bent Records ‎– Big Bent 1) 1978

Stoner,drunken reprobate and Manchester Punk ligger, John "the Postman" Ormrod (RIP), was around at an opportune epoch for the likes of himself.Anyone worth the label of 'Punk' were destined to get the chance to release product in 1978.
I don't think there has ever been a more descriptive title of an album,probably ever? Its full of Peurile nonsense, recorded by a bunch of stoned and drunken wasters in between fag breaks.
Mark E. Smith and Karl Burns of The Fall make a comeo appearence too, on backing vocals and percussion.
They seem like they're having fun anyhow.

Tracklisting:

A1 Louie, Louie (Version)
A2 Louie, Louie (Slight Return)
B1 Toothache
B2 Not Righttt
B3 Kawalski Of The Seaview Has Got The Best Hairstyle I've Ever Seen
B4 PJ Meets TD
B5 Flaming Aeroplane

DOWNLOAD a parcel of peurile nonsense HERE!

The Record Players - "Singles and Ep's" (Wreckord Records) 1978/1981

The Record Players ‎– "Double C Side EP" (Wreck 001) 1978

Tracklisting:

A1 M.O.R.
A2 Don't Go Backwards
B1 Wrong Song
B2 Ignore Us

The Record Players ‎– "60-7 Inches EP" (Wreck 002) 1979

Tracklisting:

A1 Don't Give An Inch
A2 Squirmin' In The Vermin
B1 67
B2 Parasite City

The Record Players ‎– "Money Worries" (Wreck 003) 1981

Tracklisting:

A Money Worries
B Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right

I know next to nuffink about The Record Players,but I suspect they were from the Kent area of the UK.Tried to narrow it down by googling the 40 year old telephone code,but nothing popped up....its that old!

Facts aside, The Record Players had a string of foot-tappin'sing-a-long singles to rival The Buzzcocks;but, unlike their mancunian cousins, they didn't sell out to the majors.....in fact, I doubt they even had an offer at all, being in the hinterlands of southeast England, and not trendy looking enough.The lyrics to "Ignore Us" seem to be slightly autobiographical somewhat.

They left us with some great tunes made in a pure DIY ethic,and without pretentions towards being Rock stars,or even playing rock at all.Ten UK DIY jangly power-pop classics,with an added sense of humour, that can serve as their headstone for a future generation.

DOWNLOAD to bypass the need of a record player HERE!

Performing Ferrets ‎– "No One Told Us" (Hyped To Death ‎– Messthetics #216) 2008

This has some unreleased material on it, and some non-album singles, so its worth putting it up here innit?

Tracklisting:

1 A Story
2 Brow Beaten
3 Convenience
4 The New One
5 Howler Monkey
6 Take It Easy
7 Mandolin
8 Dut Dut Dut
9 Morgan
10 It's About A Day
11 Shoo Shar
12 Field Of Yellow Flowers
13 Plastic Macho Man
14 The Rush
15 Nudes
16 We Are This Way
17 Sycorax The Witch
18 Where's My Four Slices Of Bread?
19 Bottle Fruit
20 Bar Room
21 Rouse Rouse
22 Fallen Tyrant
23 Didn't Like Us
24 Hold The Gravy
25 Dreary (live)
26 Develop That River
27 Shu-Shau
28 Egyptian

DOWNLOAD and don't tell no one HERE!

Performing Ferret Band ‎– "Performing Ferret Band LP" (Pig Productions ‎– PIG1) 1981

Apparently Antony H. Wilson told them to do an LP in the Hacienda after an echoey gig. So they did just that. On their own label, 'Pig Records'.....we're still waiting for PIG2.
In the time between their first cassette and this album they seem to have added the word 'Band' to their moniker. A word that always seem to upset Mark E. Smith......"We're a fucking Group not a fucking Band!"...he would often say.
It seems that everyone in Manchester with an ego had a middle initial also?
Basically,this LP is a UK DIY proto-indie post-punk classic of faultless proportions. Knowingly charming.

Tracklisting:

A1 Plastic Macho Man
A2 Fizzy Drinks
A3 Howler Monkey
A4 Lung Cancer
A5 Field Of Yellow Flowers
A6 The Rush
A7 Bar Room
B1 Bottle Fruit
B2 Decorations
B3 Disco One (II)
B4 A Story
B5 Fallen Tyrant
B6 Nudes
B7 Great Duos Of Our Time

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Performing Ferrets ‎– "The Ferretable Thing" (Dead Hippy ‎– DHC2) 1979

Well after all that mindless noise, its time to get back to some classic UK DIY and Outsider Punk, starting with Maidstones own Performing Ferret Band, and their classic post-punk pre-indie student pop sound. 
This being their debut cassette, of course recorded in glorious Mono, on the rather 'Punk' titled Dead Hippy label.
For more info check out their website (!)

Tracklisting:

1 Brow Beaten
2 Develop That River
3 Shoo-Shar
4 Morgan
5 Rouse Rouse 

6 Dut Dut Dut
7 Didn't Like Us So we didn't like them

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Jandek ‎– "Toronto Sunday" (Corwood Industries ‎– CORWOOD 0803) 2010

Another deserted city (I don't think its Toronto?) adorns the cover of Toronto Sunday, like an average episode of 'The Avengers', not the marvel comics crap, but the cult UK TV series from the sixties Avengers; or like a daytime scene from Chuck Hestons "Omega Man", before the zombies came out at dusk.
Head Zombie, Jandek, treats us to some nifty soundtrack music from his Synthesizer,yes, Synthesizer!? Could easily have been the backing to some awful high budget movie like Transformers 12,or some other box-orifice special FX shit like that. That is until Jandek starts moaning about existence,and the 'Duality of Self'. That would have the drongo's who watch, and even enjoy, utter crap like X-Men or similar, to leave the theatre in droves.
Thee worst genre by far in the world of hollywood features has to be the 'Rock Bio-pic'.....there has honestly NEVER been a good one.Just like there has NEVER been a good film made by, or staring , anyone from the music business.These two artforms are destined never to meet, or be mixed.Rather like oil and water.But ,still, I find it impossible not to look at these virtual snuff movies, killing the culture i love/loved.My eyes are unstoppably drawn to the screen,like i'm secretly breaking a Taboo,as if addicted to the cringeworthy attempts to recreate 'Cool'.Finger poised over the off button in case anyone catches me watching this clueless shit.Really I want to be Ray from the Clash's lamentable 'Rude Boy'.Do I long for Mick Jones to play the art skool 'ard man and warn me that 'He's Watching me'.....my heart says 'yes', but my mind screams 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO'!!!!!!
Having watched an illegal download (what? Pay? Moi?) of the toe-curlingly bad "Bohemian Rhapsody" through my fingers, I can only imagine what a Jandek bio-pic would be like.It certainly would comfortably qualify as an entrant for the Good/Bad category at least. Johnny Depp starring as the Corwood Representative,speaking with that standard exhaling macho whisper that all the male leads seem to enunciate with.I can never hear a single fucking word they mumble. But hearing 'Depp', in all his contrived gothic splendour, mumble the lyrics to "The Duality of Self" would be worth the entrance fee alone. With Tim Burton directing naturally.....maybe an animated feature, like "The Nightmare Before Xmas"? except this will be the nightmare before the end of culture........Is it just me or is everything just compleatly SHIT!
I therefore challenge thee to name a 'Rock Bio-pic' that doesn't suck balls real bad.

Tracklisting:

The Duality Of Self

Disc One
1-1 Prelude 10:50
1-2 Part One 22:14
1-3 Part Two 21:25

Disc Two
2-1 Part Three 16:15
2-2 Part Four 16:18
2-3 Part Five 17:17
2-4 Postlude 8:31

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Thee Electrocutionists ‎– "Sorry: Not In Service" (Union Pole ‎– UP57) 1995

Another project that featured Phil Todd of Ashtray Navigations was Thee Electrocutionists. The sound is yer usual trademark effect laden fuzzy noise encrusted dark ambient fog, and the cover seems to predict the London Bombings of 2007. Although I do rember an IRA bomb doing the same in London, when an Irish Terrorist/freedom fighter was transporting a bomb which prematurely exploded, killing the idiot,and injuring a few passengers in the process.
I was, once upon a time, witness to the last IRA bomb on the mainland, a deadly Bicycle bomb!? Not quite as laughable as the underpants bomber,but laughable all the same.This lethal bike was spotted, casually chained to the railings on Brighton Pier! Why those vicious religiously extreme marxists. The bomb squad effected a controlled explosion while we all watched from the pub, and cheered when it went 'POP'!
The worst part of the evening was, whilst asleep in the hotel, the fire alarm went off, so we all thought it was the proper bomb this time and rushed to get our clothes on to escape this evil. Turned out that some twat was smoking in his room and set the smoke detector off!!!

Tracklisting:

A Untitled (13:45)
B Untitled (11:22)

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