Sunday, 24 December 2017

The Goodies ‎– "Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me" (Bradley's Records) 1974

As I couldn't be fucking arsed to make a Christmas compilation for this years midwinter festival, I'll just post my favourite inappropriate Christmas single by British comedy trio, The Goodies.
In the long,round,fluffy shadow of Harvey Wankstain, this tune seems to sum up this watershed year for the male libido. Beware he with a roving eye, or a penchants for the 'touchy feely', for he may land himself banged up for sexual deviancy. 
Back in the mid-seventies, in the realm of Jimmy Saville, Gary Glitter, and Bill Cosby, sexual assault was as trendy as a pair of 30 inch flares and a bottle of Hai Karate
These days, one is technically a Rapist if one has consensual sex whilst drunk(Is there any other way to have sex one may ask?).Naturally only applicable to those disgusting creepy pervs ,men.So, during the christmas office party this year, be sure to gain the written consent from the potential target for your lust,and a witness to testify that she/he wasn't drunk at the time of signing. Maybe this is all part of Bill Gates' secret depopulation program, apparently called "Agenda 21"?(yup, another conspiracy theory).
This very dodgy record,however, recounts a confrontation between a creepy St Nicholas derivative and a young lady who has apparently grown up considerably in certain departments during the 12 months since their last meeting.But all this was 'Alright In The Seventies'

DOWNLOAD or stream by touching  HERE!


arstider said...

Nice One.
Best Christmas

Anonymous said...

Outstanding. I well remember this monstrosity. The 70s were brilliant and shit in so many ways, & all at the same time.

all the best for the '2018' future Mr Z.

Jonny Zchivago said...

Cheers,I hope for a 2018 that is less awful than this shite year was, for you too.....basically gimmie the 70's anyday.In many ways i'n still stuck there.