Bob Cobbing, Keith Musgrove, Steven Smith ‎– "Various Throats Volume One" (Underwhich Audiographic Series – No. 11) 1982

This must be what it sounds like in one of those Covid 19 temporary hospitals. Lots of coughing ,throat clearing and straining sounds. Either that or a lunatic asylum.
The oldest instrument  a human posesses is 'The Voice',or throat.Followed closely by the drum.
In fact Bob Cobbing and his canadian mates sound  like they are communicating in some ancient language. Either that or they have discovered the rosetta stone  for the language that 'Bill and Ben The Flowerpot' men spake on the BBC's watch with mother series back in the fifties.
Yet again Bob clears a room with ease.This is comfortably in the top ten of room clearing recordings, as well as  for throat clearing.
And we wonder why volume two never appeared?....or did it?


Tracklist:

A1 Prelude: Clearing
A2 White Sound Cycle No. 5
A3 Fugitive Poem
A4 The Dream As Real
A5 Quatz
A6 Ouph/Voicings No. 5
B1 Duplicator Print
B2 Cranes Of Different Heights
B3 So Long (Geronimo)
B4 Coda: Re-Clearing

DOWNLOAD three varied throats HERE!

Peter Finch & Bob Cobbing ‎– "The Italian Job" (Klinker Zoundz ‎– KZ8802C) 1988

I bought this tape because I though it had "The Self-Preservation Society" song from the hit movie starring Michael Caine and Noel Coward on it......of course, NOT the crass American remake,the original one......naturally I jest, but you can't rule out the possibility that someone did? Mistaking it for the Quincy Jones penned,classic soundtrack,on cassette.
Now the scene is set, we can sit back and imagine the purchaser slipping this cassette into his Sanyo music centre and making himself comfortable ready to sing-a-long to those embarassing cocknwy-isms crowbared in by the American producers.
What he...its always a'he' isn't it?....what he, gets instead, is Bob Cobbing and Peter Finch whinnying,grunting and croaking through a bank of voice processors for half an hour,and NO singalong to be seen,or heard.Not only could this empty a room, it could empty a full football stadium, in orderly queues,by the start of side two.
This of course is a desirable quality in any music with any meat on the bones.And,to be topical yet again,a very good tool for 'Social Distancing'.Play this over a network of speaker systems and everyone is guaranteed to remain behind locked doors for the duration.
When I say everyone, I mean 'Normal' people, not 'Us'.Ah bless 'em, they haven't been exposed to music, or otherwise, as much as ...er...'Us'? So, they don't understand, bless 'em again.This is where the 'Pop' of the future comes from.The Stormzy's of the 22nd century will be doing stuff like this, and it'll be number one.Mainly because the Virus will have wiped out 90% of humanity by then.Leaving the 10% who didn't run away from a Bob Cobbings tape,but listened intently to remain socially distant.In turn causing those with the virus,and those with simplistic musical taste, to stay away and enhance the 10%'s chance of surviving.They do say a symptom of Covid19 is, coincidently, 'A Loss Of Taste'.
Then ,post-pandemic,all that are left to raid abandoned supermarkets and hunt human flesh will be Bob Cobbing fans.
This is Evolution in action.
All together now....
"We are the Self-Preservation Society,
We are the Self-Preservation Society.
Gotta get a bloomin' move on...tra la la la la la laaaaa la etc"

DOWNLOAD the bob cobbing preservation society HERE!

Various Artists - "Experiments In Disintegrating Language" (Arts Council of Great Britain ‎– AC 1971) 1971

I can just imagine Bob Cobbing standing up in the middle of that Bus from the previous post...."Spoke- New Scottish Voices", and doing one of his sound poems. He would have received a pretty comprehensive kicking.....and maybe worse from the one called 'Chick',who would have probably slashed him and then claimed authorship of the poem that caused all this aggro in the first place.
Y'see, the deliberatly uneducated,or the conditioned factory/family fodder, don't like to be made aware of their lack of education,and the educated classes are prone to rub their faces in it from time to time.Result...violence.
If poetry like this has to be performed it must be done in a sealed room,with like-minded people, or receive the wrath of the underclass who really wish it was them doing it; but, as they are on the sharp end of the big stick of repression wielded by both their own species,and the ruling elite,this really isn't an option,except for the very brave.
I, not proudly I may add, came from one of these working class ghetto's, and if anyone strayed from the accepted path,like going to University,or passing exams, the naked envy was painful....sometimes lierally.Like smokers who resent any of their demographic group actually giving up something that gives you cancer.They will persist in offering the ex-smoker in their social group a Carcinogenic product to which they are hopelessly addicted. The underclass are also hopelessly addicted to hopelessness,and hate anyone who 'gets out',and they hate anyone who's different to them,as much as the elite hate anyone to get above their station when they were earmarked for factory fodder, or breeding factory fodder. The trouble is,robots can do all this, so what's gonna happen to the 'underclass'?...I know, an epidemic.The necessary humans will have been vaccinated.......at least that will rid us of those ridiculous 'anti-vaxxers' I pray?
As we are living through an experiment in disintigrating civilisation at the moment.It only seems fitting that this British Arts Council funded album, featuring Bob Cobbing and cohorts,and the only appearence of Bob's group, 'Konkrete Canticle', experimenting with abstractions of the spoken word is ushered forth to represent those missing citizens in the form of the missing letters in these sentences.The silences between the letters can be regarded as a space where a human being one stood.The victims of this avoidable pandemic. 
I'm not usually one for pathos,but the empty applause that is ringing in the streets of the UK and elsewhere, to patronize our underpaid health workers, when before this crisis the government continuously failed to support them (and will do so again in the future), is a cheap veneer over the horrific facts that are already seeping through the cracks. The gaps, the silences, represent individuals reduced to nothing more than a statistic, a mass grave of numbers.
But as uncle Joe Stalin said, "When one dies, it is a tragedy. When a million die, it is merely a statistic."
Indeed I do apologise for the uncharateristic humanity of my writing in this case.I know you expect me to say something like, "well that's a few thousand pensioners who were gonna die anyway off the planet";but I don't wanna sound like a stuck groove do I?....nonetheless, this pandemic shit does offer an opportunity for a new way forward.A few necessary lessons from Communism perhaps? A world wide decision to sequestrate the vast wealth of individuals,and redistribute it....this doesn't mean the end of capitalism of course,just a fairer, dare I say, greener, capitalism..for all!?...even for our chums in the Underclass.They can be re-educated....in camps.....far away from me!
Nah!...it'll never work.....we're well and truly,in the disintegrating words of Charles Verey, 'f ck d'!!!

Tracklist:

A1 –Charles Verey - Blood Rumba
A2 –Charles Verey - Morning Was
A3 –Neil Mills - Seven Number Poems
A4 –Thomas A. Clark - Spell For Sarah
A5 –Charles Verey - Some Very Idle Diamonds Reset For John Ruskin
A6 –Neil Mills - Gong Poem
A7 –Neil Mills - Squalinda
A8 –Thomas A. Clark - Some Flowers
A9 –Charles Verey - r t e p gr a
A10 –Charles Verey - n annu eve
A11 –Charles Verey - f yo o t Ne toKi
A12 –Charles Verey - ip og it u
A13 –Charles Verey - Cry Jim Sped
A14 –Charles Verey - whi  ing & wou ing  tend her
A15 –Neil & Elaine Mills Number Poem For Two Voices (Two Sections)
A16 –Thomas A. Clark Mantra
B1 –Konkrete Canticle - Breeze
B2 –Konkrete Canticle - Ga(il s)o(ng)
B3 –Konkrete Canticle - Coacervate Poem
B4 –Konkrete Canticle - Energygalaxy
B5 -Konkrete Canticle - Suesequence
B6 –Konkrete Canticle - Astound
B7 –Konkrete Canticle - A Sandwich Poem
B8 –Konkrete Canticle - Hymn To The Sacred Mushroom

DO NLO D th se di  nte ra i g fi es H RE!

Various Artists - "Spoke : New Scottish Voices" (Bletherink ) 2000

Not sure that Ivor Cutler would approve of these potty mouthed anarchists but,staying in spoken word Scotland,here we have some sweary scottish realists from the year 2000.Sounds like a title of some bad horror movie doesn't it?

A cosmopolitan stew of (mostly) Glasgow-based writers captures the excitement of the spoken word scene in Scotland at the turn of the century. Bletherers include Bobby Christie, Anne Donovan, Jim Ferguson and Nick E Melville.And don't expect a torrent of Scottish accents either as there are a few interlopers. Sassanachs with a barely hidden west midlands drawl talk about drugs and alcoholism. 

The Trainspotting stain on the imternational Scottish image, is further enhanced here unfortunately.The stench of Buckfast and vomit was becoming a cliché by the turn of the millenium;but at least this stuff doen't make it sound exciting,with Iggy Pop(as big a prat as he is) as a soundtrack to an overdose or a painful withdrawl.Wow! Smack Yeah! Say YO to drugs!

Say NO to Catholicism,just a smidgen less,....well..maybe more actually,.... horrific than Drug abuse,which rears the grotesque head of sectarianism and the dream crushing millstone of Catholic Guilt.
Sug Hanlan's epic poem about "The Song That Started In The Middle Of The Bus", is an 'Ancient Mariner' of our times.Providing a microcosm of Scottish culture to firmly bury the spectre of cabre tossing in kilts with no underpants,prancing round swords while playing bagpipes and eating raw freshly killed Haggis.This is a world of unfulfilled,but modest dreams, like thrashing England at footy.Giving someone a good kicking,especially England Fans,and maybe even receiving a good kicking,depending on how pished you were.But In the midst of all this hopelessnes there sprung a glint of hope....a song that brought everyone on the Hampden park special together.Everyone was united in their hatred of the royal family and Maggie Thatcher,who turned us all into Prostitutes.Of course there is always one character who's to far gone to reach.

Chic,or Chick,depending on how you spell it,was the really mental character on the Bus.It must be something to do with the name because he reminds me of a nutter, also called Chick, whom i had the questionable privilege to meet in Bellshill one christmas;which is, for those who are blissfully unaware,is a cheerless satelite town on the outskirts of Glasgow.He was adamant that Marc Almond owed him a million quid,because it was Chick who wrote all those fucking songs, d'yer ken? Including, I may add, 'Tainted Fucking Love"!!!....chic, or Chick, had added that extra pronoun in the title himself. I didn't dare point out that someone else had actually written 'Tainted fucking Love',and that 'fucking poof Almond' didn't actually owe him for that one. "Say Hello Wave Goodbye" yes, but his biggest hit.....no? I heard later, that Chick, or Chic, or Charles, had indeed 'waved Goodbye' after he set his squat on fire whilest off his tits on a cocktail of drugs and booze,succumbing to the flames.Marc Almond was too busy to comment.

(Shug Hanlan also wrote a short story that uniquely combines working on an Oil Rig and Prog Rock....sounds like hell ,but anyone who can combine those two subjects needs checking out....Check out more of Shugs literary works at his website HERE!)

Tracklist:

1. "Modern Glasgow Love Poem" - Jim Ferguson

2. "Wodduwoy Need With It?" - Sam Trainor

3. "Wet Your Whistle:A Translation From The Drunk" - Sam Trainor

4. "Mrs Cloud Says" - Anne Donovan

5. "Concerning My Refrigerator" - Edward Clapp

6. "The River" - Edward Clapp

7. "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" - Laura Marney

8. "Post Off" - Nick E. Melville

9. "Understanding Wimmin#2" - Nick E. Melville
10. "Good Head" - Nick E. Melville

11. "The Food On Chippsay Troy" - Nick E. Melville

12. "The Anti-Royal Mail Man" - Nick E. Melville

13. "Train Train" - Bobby Christie

14. "Varanais Punk" - Bobby Christie

15. "The Song That Started In The Middle Of The Bus" -Shug Hanlon

15a."Mystery Track"

DOWNLOAD from up there HERE!

Ivor Cutler and Phylis king - "King Cutler" (BBC Radio series) 1990

Ivor Cutler and his regular sparring partner Phylis King present six episodes of offbeat humorous songs, stories and poems. With Glen Baxter. From January 1990.

I'm copying and pasting here from Irkthepurists blog:

11/1/90 – 15/2/90 (6x30m)
Radio 3, Thur; various times around 9:30pm
(Repeated by BBC7, 17/1/08 – 21/2/08 and 20/9/09 – 25/10/09, although individual episodes were first included on Comedy Winners, broadcast 11/8/07, and Tom Robinson’s shift as Comedy Controller, 22/9/07)
Note: Programmes originally given numbered billing as ‘King Cutler I, King Cutler II’ etc.

Thats about it for Ivor Cutler.....one can only write and listen to so much of any paricular artist, no matter how brilliant.....
There's another Radio series from 1997 too, called 'A Wet Handle' which you can also download HERE!....its as good as all the others. I've just had enough of posting Ivor Cutler's much missed melodious tones for the time being.

Tracklist:

Episode 1-6.

DOWNLOAD the king and queen of absurdist rubbish HERE!

Ivor Cutler - "Jelly Mountain" (BBC radio Drama) 1996

Another short series of 15 minute long voyages down the rabbit hole into an Ivor Cutler wonderland of nonsense.

Tracklist:

1. Episode 1 : Ivor Cutler's unique views on language, justice and scratching people's backs.
2. Episode 2 :Ivor Cutler's unique views on how to promote a child's growth.
3. Episode 3 : A visit to the circus heralds arcane amusements.
4. Episode 4 : Musing on old cuppas and paying with Fool's Gold.
5. Episode 5 : Musings on a footkerchief and a forest full of girls.

DOWNLOAD something wibbley and wobbley HERE!

Ivor Cutler - "A Stuggy Pren" (BBC Radio Drama) 1994

More inexplicable and absurd word-smithery from Scotlands finest poet,and, in the words of the BBC, 'legendary Scottish Surrealist'. 

Tracklist:

1. Episode 1 : Poems, songs and relaxation tips from Ivor Cutler and friends including fishy verse and how to jazz up mince.
2. Episode 2 : Alison O'Kill wants to read Ivor Cutler a poem, while Murray-Orr can't think with the sun in his eyes.
3. Episode 3 : Ivor Cutler and his friends present dark tales, offbeat songs and some tips for aspiring poets.
4. Episode 4 : Poet and composer Ivor Cutler on bargain hunting, water flowers and 'Beelyploomkins'.
5. Episode 5 : Songster Ivor Cutler slips a disc and shares his secrets about moonshine, housemaids and a bully called Smith.

DOWNLOAD whatever a stuggy pren is HERE!

Ivor Cutler - "Cutler The Lax" (BBC Radio Drama) 1991

Ivor also did several Radio plays,drama's ,sketch shows, whatever you want to call this unclassifiable stuff, for the venerable BBC. 
I like how he's labelled 'the Legendary Scottish Surrealist' by the Beeb drama department; which is of course accurate. If Salvador Dali gets to be called a surrealist, then so is Ivor.Either that or they are both comedians. After all, Dali described The Marx Brothers as "Perfect Surrealists"....or something like that anyway.
One man's absurdist is another man's Surrealist is another man's comedian.

Tracklist:

1.Episode 1 : Legendary Scottish surrealist Ivor Cutler provides disappointment for cavemen and a cheap alternative to liquor.
2.Episode 2 :Legendary Scottish surrealist Ivor Cutler discovers ancient Egyptian music and what the Dutch think of British pubs.
3.Episode 3 :Legendary Scottish surrealist Ivor Cutler samples the archives and enjoys some Marabut music and a jolly Japanese ditty

DOWNLOAD and don't be lax HERE!

Ivor Cutler ‎– "Prince Ivor" (Rough Trade ‎– ROUGH 89) 1986

Yet more priceless BBC recordings from the turn of the eighties on Radio Three. Several short surreal plays broadcast on the BBC wavelength largely reserved for Classical music. Ivor's fans certainly crossed the generation gap and effortlessly appealed to persons of all musical tastes;especially as this was released by Rough Trade,the numero uno Post-Punk label of the time.
One must give credit to the anonymous character actors (Bill Wallis,Glynis Brooke,Malcolm Hayes etc) who back up Ivor's words with some effortless brilliance.One must also give praise to the unsung heroes of the BBC sound effects department.

Tracklist:

1. Silence (01-04-1979)
2. Ivor Cutler and the Mermaid (06-21-1980)
3. Ivor Cutler And The Mole (6-22-1980)
4. Ivor Cutler And A Barber (12-22-1981)
5. Ivor Cutler And The Paperseller (12-24-1981)
6. Ivor Cutler And A Storeman (12-26-1981)
7. Ivor Cutler And The Princess (6-23-1980)
8. A Miner Is Approached By Ivor Cutler (12-30-1981)
9. Ivor Cutler And His Dad (6-24-1980)
10.A Sheet Metal Worker Is Approached By Ivor Cutler(1-1-1982)
11.Ivor Cutler And A Small Holder (12-28-1981)
12.Prince Ivor (3-20-1980)

DOWNLOAD ivor for less than a fiver HERE!

Ivor Cutler ‎– "Gruts" (Rough Trade ‎– ROUGH 98) 1986

I like Gruts for tea or for any feeding time in fact, be it Elevenzies, Brunch,Dinner Supper or Breakfast. Of course I don't mean Gruts from the High wood, or Leaves, Bark, Grass or Leaves, but Gruts, the album. Gruts, the fictional foodstuff,are probably very nice,especially fried in butter; but the album version is far more palatable......and,as unlikely as it may seem, funnier.
These songs and poems were originally performed on 'Monday Night At Home' on the BBC Home Service 1959-62,long before Radio one existed,and even before John Peel was a DJ.In fact a few of these songs did eventually appear in some of the numerous sessions he recorded for the late lamented DJ.
The BBC,for all of its criticism as of late, is a great institution for nurturing the more abstract and eccentric edges of the arts.A treasure trove of unique,and poorly paid, cultural jewelery that  now benefits the whole world. The incumbent, popularist leaning, British government,are currently posturing to do away with this world heritage organisation.No more future Ivor Cutlers, or Punk Rock are libel to be promoted once it's sold off to Government cronies and oligarchs.Only the safe stuff,the....spit... popular, the unchallenging, will be what we are left with in this increasingly beige society.....the thing that there is no longer no such thing as.... as stated by the UK's hospitalised Prime Minister (yes BoJo is as I type in intensive care with Covid19 complications....ironically in the very Hospitals his party were intent on running down to tender out to the same cronies and oligarchs that would carve up the BBC).
Of course I wish Boris all the best and hope he recovers.....mainly because I've just seen the turd who will take over from him if he dies!.....see,I'm not a monster......well...not much of a monster anyway.
Meanwhile,keep singing "I'm Happy",and eventually you will be,no matter what happens.
All together now:
"I'm Happy I'm Happy,
I'm Happy I'm Happy
I'm Happy I'm Happy
And I'll Punch the Man Who Says I'm Not!"(repeat)

This album was dedicated to The Noise Abatement Society!?

Tracklist:

A1 I'm Happy (Song)
A2 Gruts For Tea
A3 A Red Flower
A4 Shoplifters (Song)
A5 How To Make A Friend
A6 Fish Fright
A7 Darling, Will You Marry Me Twice (Song)
A8 Scratch My Back
A9 Egg Meat
B10 Mud (Song)
B11 Old Cups Of Tea
B12 The Judge's Parcel
B13 I Had A Little Boat (Song)
B14 The Hoorgi House
B15 A Steady Job
B16 In My Room There Sits A Box (Song)
B17 The Dirty Dinner

DOWNLOAD some fresh gruts from the high wood HERE!

Ivor Cutler - "Peel Sessions 1987-1997" (a DIE or DIY? Compilation)

As Doctor McBrazil-Nuts said to Missus Big Buttons, "take your clothes off and lay on the trolley, then take my temperature!...What does the thermometer say?"
"Made In Venice" says Missus Big-Buttons.
"Receptionist is there anyone else in the waiting room?
"Just Mister Big-Buttons" replied the Receptionist.
If that doesn't contain all you need to know about the Coronavirus #19 crisis then there's a cure for coronavirus HCoV-229E, aka the common cold......for which, after centuries of trying,is still incurable.So the likelihood of a vaccine appearing like magic early next year is pretty un-likely, I'm sure you'd agree.
Very few literary works make complete sense of the world like the work,if you call it work, of Ivor Cutler. Philosophers like Nietzsche thought themselves into blind corners and early graves to work out what the fuck is going on,and still found no answer. Cutler manages this in one short couplet.....there is no sense to existence,and like the abrupt endings to many of his poems, there is only silence. But at least we can laugh at it all while we still can.It's only as bleak as you make it,nothing you do is gonna change anything. Get reday for living with the Virus, like humanity has done for millenia. For want of a better phrase that isn't emblazened on every mug on the planet; "Keep Calm and Carry On".....for fucks sake!? "Language is a Virus",said the American version of Ivor Cutler, William S. Burroughs.

Tracklist:

1. A Romantic Man 09/06/1987
2. The Shapely Balloon 09/06/1987
3. The Clever Night Doctor 09/06/1987
4. The Aggressive Onion Vendor 09/06/1987
5. Me And My Kid Brother 09/06/1987
6. The Perambulating Scottish Colander 09/06/1987
7. A Wag At The Flicks 09/06/1987
8. Glasgow Dreamer ep 11 (Andy Kershaw 21/05/87)
9. Glasgow Dreamer: Episode 8 09/05/1991
10.Beside the Fish 09/05/1991
11.Footsteps 09/05/1991
12.Green Light 09/05/1991
13.The 2 Coy Hinnies 09/05/1991
14.Seaweed 09/05/1991
15.Insect 09/05/1991
16.Glasgow Dreamer: Episode 6 09/05/1991
17.Biltong Croon 09/05/1991
18.A Long Hard Gland 09/05/1991
19.Hee Haw 09/05/1991
20.Doing The Bathroom (Episode 1) 25/11/1992
21.The Lid 25/11/1992
22.25,000 Miles 25/11/1992
23.Part Of The Ground 25/11/1992
24.Between Two Walls 25/11/1992
25.Your Side 25/11/1992
26.Pschawa 25/11/1992
27.Ros Vulgaris 25/11/1992
28.A Dale Song 25/11/1992
29.Two Paracetamol 25/11/1992
30.Doing The Bathroom (Episode 2) 25/11/1992
31.What Have You Got? (1997)
32.Ruby (1997)
33.Open Your Arms (1997)
34.Jam (1997)
35.Ingredients (1997)

DOWNLOAD because ivor got no more HERE!

Ivor Cutler - "Peel Sessions 1979-86" (a DIE or DIY? Compilation)

Well I had Gruts for tea last night,and they were delicious...I fried them in butter, served with a handful of chickweed, washed down with a quart of rainwater fresh from the barrel. I gave the leftovers to the dog...but he died this morning!
If there's a man for a crisis, its Ivor Cutler. If only he was still with us to make sense out of this absurd pandemic. He would have understood perfectly why people weren't allowed to lie down on the grrrasss in the parrrk(thats my attempt to reproduce his accent using standard lettering.....there's more!
"loook!" said fatha. "A patch of grrrass! Go and sit upon the grrrass and feel your lumps".He makes one feel like a child again, but not in the patronising way that the govern-ment does it, but by talking directly to ones inner-child.Instead of the Queen addressing the nation,or Trump...aww pleeeeze!(To whom i dedicate the poem "Lunatic",the angriest poem that Ivor has ever written,he says)...or indeed Macron!?...we need Ivor Cutler more than we ever did.
Altogether now...."Ooooooooh Pellets rolling round my feet,
look at the girl with the broken nose laughing out the windoooooow!"


Track Listing:

1. The Man With The Trembley Nose 20/02/1979
2. The Obliging Fairy 20/02/1979
3. Examine The Contents 20/02/1979
4. A Saucer 20/02/1979
5. A Lady Found An Insect (Aka Buffet) 20/02/1979
6. Lunatic 20/02/1979
7. Melon 20/02/1979
8. Egg Meat 20/02/1979
9. Pass The Ball Jim 20/02/1979
10.Gruts For Tea 20/02/1979
11.Tomato Brain 15/04/1981
12.Step It Out Lively Boys 15/04/1981
13.Counting Song 15/04/1981
14.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 15 15/04/1981
15.Ready 15/04/1981
16.A Land Of Penguins 15/04/1981
17.Her Darling 15/04/1981
18.Pellets 15/04/1981
19.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 16 15/04/1981
20.Bad Eye 23/03/1983
21.Pussy On The Mat 23/03/1983
22.A Blue Bear 23/03/1983
23.Women Of The World 23/03/1983
24.Halfway Through 23/03/1983
25.People Run To The Edge 23/03/1983
26.Brenda 23/03/1983
27.Mostly Tins 23/03/1983
28.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 17 23/03/1983
29.A Doughnut In My Hand 23/03/1983
30.Old Black Dog 23/03/1983
31.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 18 23/03/1983
32.All The Time 15/02/1984
33.The Revelation 15/02/1984
34.Her Equipment 15/02/1984
35.Questionnaire 11/05/1986
36.Just a Nuance 15/02/1984
37.Life In A Scotch Sitting Room Vol 2 Ep 19 15/02/1984
38.Vegetarians 15/02/1984
39.Lemonade 15/02/1984
40.I Jumped Over A Wall 15/02/1984
41.Jelly Mountains 15/02/1984
42.I Built A House 15/02/1984
43.Are You A Tory 30/06/1985
44.Back Home 30/06/1985
45.Country Door 30/06/1985
46.I'm Fixed 30/06/1985
47.It's Snowing 30/06/1985
48.Knockin' at My Door 30/06/1985
49.Large & Puffy 30/06/1985
50.Life in a Scotch Sitting-Room Vol 2 ep 10 30/06/1985
51.A New Home 30/06/1985
52.Walkin' to a Farm 30/06/1985
53.Vermin 30/06/1985
54.A Ball In A Barrel 11/05/1986
55.Bend Down Yetta 11/05/1986
56.Bucket And Steam 11/05/1986
57.Crunch Crunch 11/05/1986
58.Glasgow Dreamer Ep 3 (11/05/1986)
59.Glasgow Dreamer Ep 4 (11/05/1986)
60.God's Blessing 11/05/1986
61.Jewish Jokes 11/05/1986
62.Laughter And Disbelief 11/05/1986
63.Maturity 11/05/1986
64.One Of The Best 11/05/1986
65.OK, I'll Count To Eight 15/04/1981
66.Three Men 15/02/1984
67.The Wren 23/03/1983

DOWNLOAD  more prime cutlets of cutler HERE!

Ivor Cutler - "Peel Sessions 1969-1977" (a Die or DIY? compilation)

You knew it was coming didn't you?
Here's Ivor Cutler ,the Salvador Dali of Goven (Glasgow), and his surreal poetry,songs and stories to brighten up your period of social distancing.
I never realised he came from the same place that the scottish sit-com,or fly-on the wall docu-drama,however you see it, "Rab C.Nesbit" was set in.(if you're american and you have difficulty understanding what Ivor is saying, you'll have no chance understanding Rab.C Nesbitt,so don't bother clicking the link to find out)
Ivor did something in the region of 21 Peel sessions,second only to the Fall's 24 sessions. His eccentric manner and druggy without the aid of drugs stories, appealed greatly to the Lord of the Rings worshipping dippy hippies,although its all more in the traditional of Edward Leer's nonsense poems.The songs are equally funny and surreal, my own favourite being "A Wooden Tree" from the Jammy Smears album which features in the 1975 session included here.
There are one or two sessions missing,notably the 1978 session,but the sheer out thereness of Ivor's world should be an adquate sticking plaster for that,or any, wound.
(Part two and three will follow,so don't shed any tears)

Tracklist:

1. Trouble Trouble 05/05/1969
2. An Old Poltroon 05/05/1969
3. Bounce Bounce Bounce 05/05/1969
4. There and Back Via Sweden 05/05/1969
5. Chat 05/05/1969
6. In My Room There Sits A Box 05/05/1969
7. Beatrice 05/05/1969
8. An Indirect Love Poem 05/05/1969
9. Pearly Winged Fly 25/09/1975
10. Go and Sit Upon the Grass 25/09/1975
11. Sleepy Old Snake 25/09/1975
12. Little Black Buzzer 25/09/1975
13. Life in a Scotch Sitting Room, Vol.2 EP.8(25/09/1975)
14. Fremsley 25/09/1975
15. True Humility 25/09/1975
16. Nigerians in a Tunnel 25/09/1975
17. I Spent Ten Years 25/09/1975
18. A Wooden Tree 25/09/1975
19. Barabadabada 17/08/1976
20. Bicarbonate of Chicken 17/08/1976
21. I Ate a Lady's Bun 17/08/1976
22. Stubborn Vassals 17/08/1976
23. Fish 17/08/1976
24. Living Donkey 17/08/1976
25. When I Stand on an Open Cart 17/08/1976
26. Irk 17/08/1976
27. Rubber Toy 17/08/1976
28. Lemon Flower 17/08/1976
29. Everybody Got 17/08/1976
30. Great Grey Grasshopper 10/08/1977
31. A Suck of My Thumb 10/08/1977
32. The Shchi 10/08/1977
33. Get Away from the Wall 10/08/1977
34. The Natural Height of Cloud 10/08/1977
35. Life in a Scotch Sitting Room - Vol2. Episode12(10/08/1977)
36. I Had a Little Boat 10/08/1977
37. I'm Going in a Field 10/08/1977
38. Life in a Scotch Sitting Room - Vol2.Episode13(10/08/1977)
39. Jungle Tip - Owl 10/08/1977
40. Jungle Tip - Lion 10/08/1977
41. Jungle Tip - Boa 10/08/1977
42. Jungle Tip - Leopard 10/08/1977

DOWNLOAD  from planet cutler HERE!

Vivian Stanshall - " The Rawlinson End Peel Sessions (1975-1991)" (Bootleg)

Not had enough of the saga of Rawlinson end yet? Well here's another three and three quater hours of this lysergic aristocratic soap opera.There's a refreshing lack of political correctness,plenty of references to 'Jungle Bunnies' and 'sambo',made(especially in the film version one noticed),historically correctly I may add, by Sir Henry.Like a hybrid of 'Downton Abbey' and 'Love Thy Neighbour'* on Blue Sunshine.
I love the casual anti-semetism of 'Christmas at Rawlinson End part one' otherwise entitled "Cannabalism at the Syna-gogo...or 'you can have your Kike and eat it". Which is as 'English as Tuppence'.
If broadcast today Vivian's classic work would have been redacted into obilvion. Like I think most of Enid Blytons work has been.We can't forget that these attitudes existed,and revise the history of the British Empire,even though it is now generally portrayed as an evil exercise in conquest,murder and theft.
Sir Henry at Rawlinson end, although a surreal comedy in essence,more accurately portrays the character of pre-war England than any history book.For me,this,contrarily speaking,is a piece of classic,but funny, Non-Fiction,like the Bible is a classic piece of hilariously unlikely Fiction.
And don't forget no-one was more exploited by the British Empire and its class system than the English themselves.Like Germans under the Nazi Regime.
The biggest crime of the British,French and German Empires was sending millions of innocent English, Germans and French to certain death in the, so-called, 'Great War'!..to defend the gentlemens honor of the opposing empires,and protect the vast riches of the top 0.25%.An un acknowledged and unpunished Genocide.
But you've gotta laugh ain't cha? There's also a great charm about English life, that is also greatly evident in this fantastic, endless monologue.It does make one nostalgic for the olden daze,while at the same time glad you didn't live in them. 

Sorry to associate this superior work of english literature, worthy of P.G.Woodhouse himself, with grubby racism issues,but i gotta write about something ain't I....if you want a more straight forward analysis,google it......after all I have been labelled as a 'Racist' so i better not disappoint the clueless finger pointers that plague progress.Maybe Covid will do for them...please!

(*)a controversial British,allegedly 'Racist' TV sit-com that is now banned...but not on YouTube I may add. As far as i'm concerned, as unfunny as it is, its an accurate recreation of real life in 1975,and brought these issues out in the open.All the black actors in it agree...there were millions of 'Eddies' in the seventies...now they exist only in their handfulls.There will be nay-sayers of course, but it has changed enormously since then...although there are some who want to keep it alive on both sides of the racial tightrope.


Tracklist:

1-5  Aunt Florrie Remembers (27/10/75)
6-9 Christmas At Rawlinson End (22+23+24+26/12/1975)
10-13 An Absence Of Whelks (6/4/77)
14  Spades, Balls and Sausage Trees (23/05/77)
15  The Roads To Unreason (19/12/77)
16  The Hapless Hubert (The Fall Of Felt Hats)(05/04/78)
17  Cabbage Looking In Mufti (25/07/78)
18  Gooseflesh Steps (24/12/79)
19  The crackpot at the end of the rainbow (18/04/88)
20  The Eating at Rawlinson End (23/11/88)
21  Cackling Gas Capers (aka The Thing at Rawlinson End)(21/09/91)

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Vivian Stanshall ‎– "Sir Henry At Rawlinson End" (Charisma ‎– CAS 1139) 1978

After the terribly annoying 'Ginger John', here we have a rather more eloquent and erudite 'Ginger Geezer',as he called himself, Vivian Stanshall.
No, Vivian wasn't Posh,unlike some of his bandmates in the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band....amazingly. I could have sworn he was from the same future leader factories as Peter Gabriel,Boris Johnson and Joe Strummer, but no; he was a cockney from the deepest east end of London. His father forced the children to speak with the plummy accent that we know him for today. Joe Strummer did it the other way round to get acceptance;gone was Joe's well spoken northern somerset public school bully-boy accent,and he became a cockney,overnight...only to let it slip later in life to become a well-spoken chap again. He wasn't the only one to do this in the Punk Rock years. If you listen to the transformation of Sid Vicious's accent from rather well spoken,as captured on the film of the Thames Boat jubillee incident, to the east landan scumbag that we know and love today.
Incredible how the need to 'Better' yourself, takes such divergent paths innit?
This explains Viv's enduring friendship with Keith Moon and Ringo. Three working class oiks playing at being  posh chaps, as I must say, a pastime I have a tendancy to enjoy myself ,rather too much!
Actually, this obsession with playing a camp version of one of the knights of the realm,often dressed up as Nazi's, was a rather spiffingly subversive direction leading to the eventual downfall of the landed classes,who stole their wealth centuries ago.One has to say, that I prefer the old money bastards to the Nouveau Riche cunts who now own everything,and are far worse than the hereditary classes,who had become relatively harmless. I of course, talk of bloated turds such as Philip Greene and Richard Branson,and their despicable Ilk...who now want taxpayers money to bale the fuckers out,after making their staff redundant and stealing their pensions. I live in hope that this mini apocalypse we are experiencing now (the co-vid pandemic thing) can genuinely lead to a new world order.and as Terry Waite Sez..."a great leveller." Year Zero cometh.
Although rather Pythonesque, its a really entertaining and frequently funny saga about a drunken Aristocrat trying to exorcise the ghost of his brother Humbert who accidently killed in a drunken duck-shooting incident whilst escaping trouserless from an illicit tryst. Let's not forget his butler, 'Scrotum, the wrinkled retainer'.
Basically this is Downton Abbey on LSD.

Tracklist:

A1 Aunt Florries' Waltz
A2 Interlewd
A3 Wheelbarrow
A4 Socks
A5 The Rub
A6 Nice 'N' Tidy
A7 Pigs 'Ere Purse
B1 6/8 Hoodoo
B2 Smeeton
B3 Fool & Bladder
B4 Endroar
B5 Junglebunny
B6 The Beasht Inshide
B7 Rawlinson & Maynards
B8 Papadumb

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Ginger John - "Ranting On The Barricades" (Self-Release) 1982

Ginger John is the kind of self-righteous yobbo who are razor sharp with the 'You're a Racist' finger.
So, as i've recently been accused.....again(?)...of being a stealthy racist,hiding my bigotry behind a thin vile veil of 'alleged' humour,accompanied  by a symphony of 'Twats' Pricks' and.....(no-one from England would use this one)...'Bonehead'!?.....nothing like a carefully considered argument is there?
 My shoulders are broad enough, but this means that 'Ginger John' is in line for a slagging,and his irritating ilk of finger pointing right-on bores.
Ginger....,notice how he gets it in first so the Ginger prejudice section of the sparse audience can't hurt him...'cus he's funny? 
You will be relieved to know that this ten minute tirade will be the last 'Ranter' in the spoken word season on DIE or DIY?,and its exactly what you expectorate it will be, Spittle soaked consonants shower the empty room with Gob, the sweary words race out of his angry red face surfing on a perfect wave of saliva at a million miles an hour,and he's.......you guessed it....a militant socialist!...I wonder where he got that obscure philosophy from?....and ...Oh Yeah.....he's not a racist of course,...... but you fucking ARE!

ps I'm also a 'Homophobic Fuck' Click here)


Tracklist:

1. Perils of a Pedestrian Piss-Artist
2. Things Have Changed on the Magic Roundabout
3. Paranoid Attack
4. Talking From Yer Bum... oops, Sorry.
5. By, It's Changed Since I Was a Lad
6. Serialising the Revolution
7. Zidiack Braindistort
8. Radio Problems
9. Tesco Chainstore Massacre
10. OK, Yarrrr!
11. Herpes From Outer Space

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Nick Toczek ‎– "Nik Tockzek's Ulterior Motives The Tape" (Bluurg Tapes ‎– BLUURG49) 1985

As Ranters go, Nick Toczek sems the one most likely to have a semi-detatched house,and kiss his wife goodbye on the doorstep as he goes to a gig,His poetry hidden in a smart briefcase,and his stage gear in a small backpack. His address is in Bradford, the same patch as Seething Wells, but not much of a Yorkshire accent is to be heard in his delivery...which is agood thing.
He performs his poems in much more of a story-telling style than most of his contemporaries,and rarely reverts to being shouty,or expectorating spittle with each percussive consonant.
It's alright, but remember, poetry's for Puffs!

DOWNLOAD more smartarse poetry HERE!

Smiley Culture ‎– "The Original Smiley Culture" (Top Notch Records ‎– TOP LP 003) 1986

America had Patti Smith and the Sugarhill gang, or was that the Anthill Mob, I dunno....in fact i don't care, because the Uk Had Smiley Culture at the year zero of the 'not being able to sing' movement.
Oh christ, we had Linton 'Boring Bastard' Kwesi Johnson, and his offspring, Michael Smith....the one that got murdered....and the one that didn't get murdered....Benjamin Zephaniah. Not entertaining,and a rather too serious. 
Of course the Irony was that Smiley, that loveable rogue who brought blacks and whites together efortlessly,who incidently are both people of colour ,cus if they weren't they would be invisible would they not?...oh yeah, the Irony,the Irony....the Irony was that the toaster/rapper/ranter of novelty Hit "Police Officer" was believed to have died of a single stab wound during a visit by the Metropolitan Police to his home in march 2011?...whom weilded said knife it is not clear;but smiley smiled no more.
But he did bequeth a selection of very entertaining tunes that light-heartedly disected life in Britain for everyone in 1986.
"Cockney translator" and "Police Officer" are classics that LKJ could only dream of.
These are the dancehall mixes of his best tunes,and correctly, he never really made any others.This is Pop!

Tracklist:

A1 Cockney Translation 6:28
A2 Slam Bam 6:05
A3 Shan A Shan 6:10
B1 Police Officer 6:54
B2 Roots Reality 6:25
B3 Entertainer, Entertainer 6:20

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Benjamin Zephaniah ‎– "Dub Ranting" (Radical Wallpaper Records ‎– RAD WALL 005) 1982

Birmingham's own Benjamin Zephaniah was another 'Ranter' on Radical Wallpaper records.Label mate with Attila The Stockbroker, and Seething Wells,he was the only,as far as I know, Dub-Ranter on the planet. According to the man himself on the Patrik Fitzgerald documentary "All The Years Of Trying",it was Fitzgerald's first EP that turned him on to the possibility of Poetry,after hearing "Work, Rest, Play,...Reggae" from the "Safety Pin Stuck In My Heart EP".It was the first time that he heard that a white man could like reggae (not that I'm sure thats exactly what Patrik meant...he was being slightly Ironic methinks),nonetheless,it opened the possibilty in BZ's mind that maybe we ain't so different.And obviously, Linton Kwesi Johnson, was a major motivation to inflict these clumsey poems upon us innocent white kids.So this is his attempt at fusing English Ranting and Jamaican Toasting,which he called Dub-Ranting.This has to be applauded,but.....at the risk of being accused of prejudice, i can't stand it. The poetry is borderline moronic, and the politics....oh,the politics!!...are simplistic at best.
He's at his best when he sticks to social commentary,like describing a riot in progress,very good. "I Don't Like Dat Gurl",is his synopsis of Maggie Thatcher.....oh please!And ,Oh yeah, he didn't like Regan either.
I think that some of these poems are supposed to be funny? If they are, then maybe i don't have a sense of humour?
Nevertheless, he seems like a nice chap,and he's still going at it today,and in the running for the next Poet Laureate,for which he will have an advantage Ironically,'cus he is Black'!


Tracklist:

A1 Now Right Now 2:00
A2 I Don't Like 2:09
A3 Uganda 1:21
A4 War 1:30
A5 I Love 0:58
B1 African Swing 1:19
B2 13 Dead 1:32
B3 Fantasy Poem 1:37
B4 Riot In Progress 3:24

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