Thick Slimy Whisper & Qwa Digs Never Parish ‎– "Teenage Pop Songs" (Sound of Pig SOP74) 1986

One of the most enduringly horrendous noises of the eighties has to be the Simmons Drum synthesizer, with its aesthetically bankrupt octangular drum pads. This delightful sound is the thread upon which this sonic mash up is held together, with what one suspects is a mischievous sense of humour. This is an under-used quality in the realms of experimental music, and I for one, welcome it with open arms. There’s nothing more irritating than some Po-faced ‘Artiste’, who probably refers to himself in the third person, presenting his creations with a stony face and mind. You only have to read the name “Thick Slimy Whisper”, and know that the protagonists (which includes Al Margolis) of this work are not of that pretentious ilk at all!

The tunes/improvisations on “Teenage Pop Songs” ,(ironic title), are probably the antithesis of what Simon Cowell and his musical Einzatsgruppen would call ‘Pop’; and would hold it in the same contempt for which readers of this blog would hold the musical atrocities that Citizen Cowell is responsible for. Even more Ironically, it is probably made with far less seriousness than the childish drivel of such ‘stars’ like One Direction and other ‘talent’ show refugees. But I give this sonic manure far too much credit by referring to it as music; its purely entertainment for the moronic masses, whose lumpen attitude to existence make eternal oblivion seem a warm and cosey option. One can only hope that there is a Wormhole somewhere that will whisk these criminals to a distant part of quantum reality.

At least String Theory gives us hope that somewhere in this multidimensional multiverse, there is some corner of theoretical physics that houses an anomaly, where The Thick Slimy Whisper has been a poster favourite with the quantum kids for decades. I doubt they’d be comfortable with that, and anyway, if this part of the multiverse is what I hope it to be, there should be some kids somewhere with an “I Hate the Thick Slimy Whisper” T-shirt walking down a shadow Kings Road, in a Shadow London, on a Shadow Earth etc.....!

We definitely need Carl Sagan to explain it all for us!

Track Listing:

A1		Carl Sagan Explains It All For You
A2		Call Of The QWA
A3		Another Madonna 12" Dance Mix
A4		Never Mind The Skin
A5		Children Devour Their Parents
B1		Dialectic Gerbils
B2		This Is Not 'The Avengers'
B3		Take The D Train
B4		Fish People
B5		Bleed Blue Silence
B6		Knees And Elbows

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