Tonto is the name of the enormous twenty foot by eight foot synthesizer invented by Malcolm Cecil (Tonto's Expanding Head Band founder). T.O.N.T.O. stands for The Original and New Timbral Orchestra due to its amazingly expansive symphonic sound.
I am led to understand that the traffickers of this pre-synth era kraftwerk trumping duo, are ....as they say these days...'Of Colour';which in this epoch of 'taking the Knee' for Black Lives Matter, and using the knee to asphixiate an offender,means that Black culture invented Electronic music,and all other electronic albums must be thrown into the murky waters of Bristol docks.
Indeed, its now ok to press the History Eraser button and forget all the naughty men who had the prescence of mind to behave in the accepted ways of their time.So we can now repeat their mistakes.
So,yeah,Tonto's Expanding Head Band invented synth Pop,and electronic music in general,so Depeche Mode never existed,so we are doomed to repeat their many mistakes all over again.
I must also apologize for the clumsy use of the adverb 'Traffickers' in reference to the purveyors(clever use of synonyms there?) of this new form of music;it alludes to drug use, and I'm only using it because its a reference to 'People of Colour',and apparently I'm not of colour.....so shame on me,so i will take the knee every day for a fortnight to make it all better again.
Sure 'Black Lives Matter', no-one said they didn't to my knowledge, but this 'movement',slash fashion cult, is causing more of a rift rather than healing it.Whitey is gonna find it even more awkward to relate to their black chums,for double fear that they are gonna say something unacceptable.So what we end up with is more incentive to keep to your own,and divisions increase.
Don't have a go at me because of your slave trade guilt Honky!!!I'm doing my bit by erasing electronic music history from before and up to Tonto's Expanding Head Band,d'you understand Kemosabe?
Fucking imperialist slave trading White Bastards!Its a modern version of the concept of 'Original Sin',but just for Whites.Born with 'racist' tatooed on their foreheads.
I'm thinking of sueing all scandinavian countries for what those Vikings did to my ancestors. If there's a few quid to be made we'll find any ol' excuse to be offended.
Micro-agressions like, "ooo aren't you articulate' are indeed unwitting racism by stealth,just as the word 'You' is abused when referring to past injustices done by the 'White Man' to 'The Black Man'.'You',as in 'Me'.....i'm not aware of owning slaves,or not employing someone because of their skin colour.This is unhelpful to the BLM cause is it not?.....cue the Honky bastard who accused me of racism because I don't like Hip Hop,Soul or Reggae......hot off the press, we're all racists,it's in the DNA,it just depends how you manage your inate tribalism problem.Sort it out, or don't,its a subjective problem,and legislation won't alter anything,except build even more resentment.Nothing's gonna change!
Answer this profound problem, with honesty please, to test your racism levels....You're in a boat,There's a white family, a Black Family,an Asian Family etc, bobbing about in the ocean and you've only got room for one...which do you choose to save and why?
Oh yeah...if you're wondering...NO, Tonto's expanding Headband did NOT invent electronic music!!!?...jeeeez!
"We're all Coloured,otherwise you wouldn't be able to see anyone" (Don Van Vliet,1972)
1 Cybernaut 4:30
2 Jetsex 4:14
3 Timewhys 4:57
4 Aurora 6:48
5 Riversong 8:00
6 Tama 5:23