Tonto is the name of the enormous twenty foot by eight foot synthesizer invented by Malcolm Cecil (Tonto's Expanding Head Band founder). T.O.N.T.O. stands for The Original and New Timbral Orchestra due to its amazingly expansive symphonic sound.
I am led to understand that the traffickers of this pre-synth era kraftwerk trumping duo, are ....as they say these days...'Of Colour';which in this epoch of 'taking the Knee' for Black Lives Matter, and using the knee to asphixiate an offender,means that Black culture invented Electronic music,and all other electronic albums must be thrown into the murky waters of Bristol docks.
Indeed, its now ok to press the History Eraser button and forget all the naughty men who had the prescence of mind to behave in the accepted ways of their time.So we can now repeat their mistakes.
So,yeah,Tonto's Expanding Head Band invented synth Pop,and electronic music in general,so Depeche Mode never existed,so we are doomed to repeat their many mistakes all over again.
I must also apologize for the clumsy use of the adverb 'Traffickers' in reference to the purveyors(clever use of synonyms there?) of this new form of music;it alludes to drug use, and I'm only using it because its a reference to 'People of Colour',and apparently I'm not of colour.....so shame on me,so i will take the knee every day for a fortnight to make it all better again.
Sure 'Black Lives Matter', no-one said they didn't to my knowledge, but this 'movement',slash fashion cult, is causing more of a rift rather than healing it.Whitey is gonna find it even more awkward to relate to their black chums,for double fear that they are gonna say something unacceptable.So what we end up with is more incentive to keep to your own,and divisions increase.
Don't have a go at me because of your slave trade guilt Honky!!!I'm doing my bit by erasing electronic music history from before and up to Tonto's Expanding Head Band,d'you understand Kemosabe?
Fucking imperialist slave trading White Bastards!Its a modern version of the concept of 'Original Sin',but just for Whites.Born with 'racist' tatooed on their foreheads.
I'm thinking of sueing all scandinavian countries for what those Vikings did to my ancestors. If there's a few quid to be made we'll find any ol' excuse to be offended.
Micro-agressions like, "ooo aren't you articulate' are indeed unwitting racism by stealth,just as the word 'You' is abused when referring to past injustices done by the 'White Man' to 'The Black Man'.'You',as in 'Me'.....i'm not aware of owning slaves,or not employing someone because of their skin colour.This is unhelpful to the BLM cause is it not?.....cue the Honky bastard who accused me of racism because I don't like Hip Hop,Soul or Reggae......hot off the press, we're all racists,it's in the DNA,it just depends how you manage your inate tribalism problem.Sort it out, or don't,its a subjective problem,and legislation won't alter anything,except build even more resentment.Nothing's gonna change!
Answer this profound problem, with honesty please, to test your racism levels....You're in a boat,There's a white family, a Black Family,an Asian Family etc, bobbing about in the ocean and you've only got room for one...which do you choose to save and why?
Oh yeah...if you're wondering...NO, Tonto's expanding Headband did NOT invent electronic music!!!?...jeeeez!
"We're all Coloured,otherwise you wouldn't be able to see anyone" (Don Van Vliet,1972)
Tracklist:
1 Cybernaut 4:30
2 Jetsex 4:14
3 Timewhys 4:57
4 Aurora 6:48
5 Riversong 8:00
6 Tama 5:23
31 comments:
Traffickers isn't an adverb.
Ha ha...good to see you picked out the serious part of the rant....nice one.
I was thinking is traffickers,as used in this case, an adjective or a modified version of the verb to traffic,for i didn't intend it to describe the actual traffickers,but refer to what they we doing with the music, and also as an example of a 'micro aggression'....i guess an adverb would be if i put electronic music in front of traffickers,but that didn't serve my purpose...but i shouldn't named it an adverb and I apologize!
I hate trafiic. That's the best thing about Covid-19.
I still don't have any idea what you were even trying to say to begin with. Were you saying they're black? They're not. But they worked extensively with Stevie Wonder all through the early 70s. I mean - you think "Malcolm Cecil" is gonna be a black dude? There's an internet out there for that kind of thing, you know.
Again though - you sort of lost me mid rant. So my apologies if I have it all wrong. Go listen to some early Gil Scott Heron and have a nice warm mug of cocoa. All will be better.
@ Galoot....Well, Malcolm looked black to me,kinda cocoa coloured....don't like Cocoa the drink however,so does that make me racist?
Early Gil Scott Heron's rants are as racist as anything \i could possibly say, his first proper album has his rather annoying smooth souly singing on it....but musically fine stuff....as is Wonder's "Innervisions".
In the sinking boat, I would save the sexiest family. Start the new human race off on a good foot!
Hmmm…I'll give you a few points for incoherence, but on the Berkeley Scale of Ranting, this one only lands you about a 3/10. Points lost for predictability mainly. Have you been drinking on the job?
p.s. T.O.N.T.O. (the synth-beast, not the band) also made an appearance in Brian de Palma's horror glam musical film Phantom of the Paradise, which everyone should watch even though some of you will hate it.
"I know drug real from real real!!"
@ejh...good answer, but a problem will arise if you select the White Family as the 'sexiest'.You will be accused of racial bias...or an uncle tom if you're black.
BUT if they worked with Stevie Wonder, they could be black, cuz he used to be blind. If I said even one of the things you said in print here, I'd be rushed off to prison, and forced to join the very racist white gang, PENI. So thanks for taking that bullet for me.
Thats what I'm here for Kevin.
Apparently Stevie Wondered if they were black,or coffee with the right amount of Cream......then he remembered that he could speak and asked them....their reply is classified.
I can remember some guy from New Zealand lecturing me on how Brits like me oppressed his people. I pointed out that none of my ancestors ever went to New Zealand and, since he was half white, it was his bloody ancestors that oppressed his other ancestors and he could fuck off. We didn't become friends.
JZ you're kinda sounding like a Trumper
@ Anonymous....I suggest you read it again and then admit that you're a Racist,just like a drunk has to admit he's an alcoholic or we're never gonna solve this problem.
Love this blog and very disappointed to see this kind of shit here. Maybe the news is translating differently across the pond but this is not some "millennial snowflake movement" happening over here. There's plenty of folks much older than your sour aging punk ass getting maced and tear gassed for asking for the basic courtesy of not being hunted down and murdered by the people in charge of protecting them. This is literal war in the streets during a global pandemic. Keep up the good work with the music blog end of things but please do some base level reading of legitimate news and keep the ignorant right wing politics out of it.
@ Unknown.....predictable popularist politics...well done.Sorry for my honesty.I'm accused in all directions of politics from communism to fascism.
This is purely an American problem,no-one is 'hunted Down and Murdered' over here in Europe by the cops....except islamic terrorists, but i suppose you'd call them freedom fighters,like I used to do. Easy answer is gun control and unarm the police....how 'right wing' is that? Trouble is you'd end up with no police cause they'll all be hunted down and killed by the ridiculous amount of weaponary on the streets in the US.
As for prejudice,it will never go away...in either direction.Didn't last time, and it won't now.You can't legislate against human nature,whatever colour you are. Pulling down a few statues won't change anything,nor will the looting.And i do plenty of base level news reading thanks.
Because my opinion is different to your acquired opinion doesn't make it ignorant or right wing. But feel free to patronize another blogger whenever you like,and i'll keep saying what i want on any subject i feel like.
Definitely not your best rant. "Sure 'Black Lives Matter', no-one said they didn't to my knowledge, but this 'movement',slash fashion cult, is causing more of a rift rather than healing it." Noone even _needs_ to say otherwise--in the US the racism is so deeply embedded into every action that the words are unnecessary--right down to shit like Uber's and Lyft's algorithms charging higher rates for trips to and from "black" neighborhoods. I lived in a city for which Columbus Day was actually the biggest holiday of the year, and they even celebrated Victory Over Japan Day! (Providence, RI, for the record.).
And even as a white guy who's been beaten senseless TWICE by the cops, whilst entirely innocent both times--first time, I was having a seizure; second time, I foolishly _called_ the cops for help, and got a 'roid raging psychopath (typical) in response--I don't feel at all "excluded" by the focus specifically on police brutality against blacks. Point being: the "too" or "as well" at the end of BLM is implied, it's simply that cop wrath and rage is overwhelmingly and indisputably directed against blacks--and, clearly, the attitude extends far beyond the police. I don't think anyone presently can speak for the efficacy, or futility, of the tactics employed (by BLM et al), but I can say emphatically that doing nothing and/or ignoring the problems ain't gonna help. Just sayin.
Well Johnny, I hope you're happy. Now we have to endure arrogance and earnest opinion's presented as facts, thanks to you being.....er ernest! ha! I daresay the most passionate responses here are from white middle class americans, who love a good cause. One that's easy to shape into palatable sweeties. I'm an arrogant american myself, but my arrogance may be rooted elsewhere. (to throw gasoline on this self righteous fire, let me just speculate how all the hispanics in the USA must be enjoying this fight of stats. I believe the saying in the barrio in LA is "too fat to run? Use a gun!" And a cheerful fuck you to "strong" "political" beliefs...(but I did enjoy your commentary! Funny how mocking "liberals" means you must be "conservative"!
@Kevinesse...indeed Kevin,this is why no progress will be made,just increasing resentment.
Preaching White Middle Class ,so-called, "Anti-Racists" make me sick.While they're marching with their brothers...oh yeah...and sisters,lets not forget them,...of color, their other brothers and sisters are looting and burning down stores,which is what I'd be doing if I had the chance....although I'd draw a line at beating up the store owner first. I also would feel pretty bad about kicking the shit out of a Cop.This may amaze some people, but Cops are Human Too.....that can be the next bandwagon for the White Middle Class to jump on. Then I'll get to be labelled a Communist again....thats where I'm most comfortable.
These preachy twerps never got around to answering my inate racisism test about the families of different creeds quandary at the end of the rant.....they don't like to answer the tough questions,about if they really ARE racists or not...I guess they are.....yep they make me sick.
Glad to see someone Got it/enjoyed it at least,tx kevin.
Well why on earth did you think Malcolm Cecil was black? He's not even American--he's one of you lot! (English). Also, I shouldn't have to explain this to someone several years my senior, but you remember the 70's, right? Look at Keith Jarrett--everyone had that hair back then. Not to mention Jews--I've never been mistaken for black, but my hair is...fullish. Didya think Frida (Abba) was black when she had that frizzy hair thing too? Huh? Didya?
Also, American cops aren't people.
For the record, the bs in ABBA stood for Benny and Bjorn--not black, btw.
Keith Jarret was virtually white, and Anifrid had a black daddy.
I think i mentioned 'anglo-american duo somewhere above......sheeeet mother fucker we's ALL black somewhere along the line...even Cops!
Anyhow, the fact that Cecil was white only goes to further emphasise the posts attempt at satirising this nu wave of middle class outrage...they don't know shit.
@ parmalee...have you heard of the native australian ABBA tribute band called ABBO?
Apparently didgeridoo replaces some of Benny's unfortunate Rachmaninoff-isms on the piano--only Tony Banks and whoever played piano on the Billy Strange produced Lee Hazlewood records have any business doing that Rachmaninoff stuff.
I'm not angry with you, I'm just disappointed.
Sorry Dad or is it mum?
There's really no way to deny that the BLM movement is vastly different here in the US. And people in cities all over the US are, in fact, asking to disarm the police. Here the cops show up in full riot gear, to truly peaceful protests, just itching to use their rubber bullets, pepper spray, batons; or just simply push anyone who asks them a question hard to the ground, watch blood come out of that now motionless person's ears, and just carelessly walk away. In America the BLM movement makes a lot of sense. Ever heard of redlining? Redistricting? American prisons? It's utter madness, and it still exists to this very day. Sure, racism has it's roots in human nature, but man, I'm telling you, the shit that has been going on in the US is much uglier than you seem to understand. I'm not choosing to dislike you, or stop reading your blog, but, seriously, Johnny, this thing is not exactly what you think it is.
This post is not about trashing BLM....its about these preaching 'I'm Not racist Me' middle income knee benders. Its packed with Irony,about revisionism ,the best bit being me getting Tonto band's ethnicity wrong.....and how everything can be wiped because of ignorance.
I really don't care if you dislike me or not,but stopping reading a blog because you see things you disagree with just adds to the problem of polorised opinion,and further constraints on breaking taboo's, which kills challenging art/music writing etc....it starts with statue toppling....and this time it ain't the state that's doing it.
...you don't get blacks being shot in the UK or europe,even though they talk as if it does,so primarily this is a USA problem because of those brainless gun laws.
I said I was NOT going to stop reading your blog. I like reading it. You're a great writer, a funny guy, genuinely witty, etc.. I just felt I wanted to say something more from the American perspective, as things here are so totally fucked up right now. This, plus Covid on the rise, we're not welcomed anywhere anymore, etc... And we have probably the absolute worst possible "leader" we could have for these times. SO embarrassing. Oof. Thanks for letting us have our rants too. Cheers mate
We euro types like americans no matter what kinda twat is their leader.I don't think we've ever not hated the American government....even under Obama.
But without America and Americans the world would be a pretty dull place.
Might hate yourleader but love that unmeasurable contribution to world culture. I even quite like Rednecks, in an open mouthed,"'what the fuck is that?" kind of way. They're kind of like a mental attitude time capsule...with a baseball cap on top.Fucking WEIRD!...so don't be too embarassed.He'll be gone soon,....and dead, hopefully.
Cheers, to all that
A copy of 'It's about time' would complement this release. :)
Post a Comment