Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Various Artists ‎– "Skydog Commando" (Skydog ‎– SGSC 0018) 1978



To keep up the tentative French theme I was going to post a Zoviet france tape,"Garista"; but i remember them throwing a geordie hissy fit the last time I posted their stuff.This is a rare thing, with only Psyclones,Dog As Master,Noh Mercy,and Crawling Chaos,whinging about it(all americans,with a little 'a'and geordies with a little 'g' I notice!).
You can check out what that prick from the awful crawling chaos(two little 'c's) has to say about me here!
As Zoviet France are banned from the free publicity of try before you buy, from bands you haven't heard of,thanks to this blog.I will have to stoop to this fine example of French cluelessness when it comes to La Musique Moderne.
Please excuse my thinly veiled venom ce soir,especially if you are French (they can't help it y'know);but i'm feeling particularly bitter and twisted and I wanna vent it,because I can....and France is the victim.

Yup, I live in France.A land with a great past of great military defeats,boring unadventurous food, bland dress sense, and pubs that look like train station waiting rooms. Then rock'n'roll happened and it was downhill from there!

A place such as this, with entrenched behavioural patterns,where the cops don't work between 12 and 2pm, where the shops shut just when you need them,and no-one ever leaves their region, never mind the country. Got left standing by “les Anglo-Saxons” at the starting line, with Johnny Halliday (who every Frenchman thinks is a Global Megastar,and even he is now Belgian!?) their only incredibly naff contribution. A population who are obsessed with apple based desserts,chocolate flavoured everything, and tuck their sweaters into their trouser tops,tightly tethered by a shiny belt, could not compete. The language didn't fit into a standard rock song,with its monotonous one note delivery, and over syllabled spittle scattering words. France is famous for its cheeses, of which it proudly boasts of 500 plus varieties, of which French Pop music is one. The post 1956 era was about modernisation,from film, to music,to food; the French can't see why something as perfect as frenchness needs to be modernised or even changed at all. I can think of a thousand reasons,and I can't wait to get out of this creative cul de sac(literal translation 'arse of the bag') of a has been land.

There, of course ,were some good Frog Bands......er........Magma......er........Magma......well ,I like Stinky Toys anyway.

This compilation of French 'Punk Rock', is a fairly standard example of how they usually find a way of making anything from the modern world sound fairly atrocious. Lets face it, they made a better attempt at Punk Rock than they did any other genre from the modern idiom of Pop, especially Reggae (They still think Bob Marley is alive and serving Ratatouille in some shit provincial restaurant, that thinks its food is the best in the world, like all of them do.)

Its a uninspiring serving (Like in their deluded restaurants), of weedy pub rock, retro-rock'n'roll,Schlager and swarthy,anaemic punk-a-like bands,in loafers, and C&A leather jackets, with tassles. The French's inability to shout without sounding like a cheese grater on your teeth, is also a big drawback in the world of Punk rock;and are arrogant enough to claim inventing the genre,they did after all contribute he typically pretentious nonsense that is Situationism into the mix

Yes, I hate this crap country, but there is something charming about the music on this compilation; like watching your children playing a instrument in the school symphony orchestra. Ah Diddums, bless their little white stockinged feet,and their rancid B.O. Problem (who says racial stereotypes aren't true?).

I do have some sympathy for them, even though they laugh and point at every other country, race, and disability , but cannot take any joke about themselves in return. Arrogant to the point of self-deifying, they are human too.....even though they think Napoleon is a national hero(Hitler mark 1 or what?), and enthusiastically collaborated in the Holocaust; you gotta be glad that this place is around. If only to show everyone else how NOT to do it. One of the greatest living museums on the planet. And this record is a fine example of one of its exhibits.

Tracklist:


A1 Rockin' Rebels Water Wheel 2:37
A2 Puravida The Last Night 3:08
A3 Electric Callas Kill Me Two Times 4:10
A4 Calcinator Electrifié 2:00
A5 Asphalt Jungle Money 2:55
B1 Dogs Here Comes My Baby 1:58
B2 Kalfon Rock Chaud Camion 3:05
B3 Controle Depression 4:32
B4 Lou's Back In The Street 2:32
B5 Scooters Hygiène 3:40


19 comments:

Andy R said...

Disappointed by what you wrote about Zoviet France. They should be paying you for posting their music to your blog.

stephen rook said...

But ... Plastic bertrand ? Metal Urbain,shit,forgot - they became the Metal boys ... ah well - I tried & (I think) 'partisan' is a French word.

stephen Surreal said...

snails,see where this goes

icastico said...

Ulan Bator maybe? Magma are dreadfully horrible, but then there is Catherine Ribeirot + Alpes who are splendid at times.

But Magma, blech.

stephen Surreal said...

http://youtu.be/k3Fa4lOQfbA

Jonny Zchivago said...

Plastic Bertrand was Belgian,like most famous "Frenchmen". Metal Urbain,pretty awful.....yes you're right Magma are shit too. I do enjoy Edith Nylon>Maybe enjoy isn't the word to use?

stephen Surreal said...

Je pensais qu'il avait dit mort , mais il a dit l'amour

Anonymous said...

Ptôse, D.D.A.A., un département, Anne Gillis,Deux, Tazartes, Colette Magny, Brigitte Fontaine, Pierre Bastien, Richard Pinhas, François de Roubaix, lizzy mercier descloux, éliane radigue,richard pinhas, jac berrocal, pascal comelade, ruth/ilitch, etron fou leloublan, albert marcoeur, henri chopin, gainsbourg, lucrate milk, hermine, étant donnés, Alesia Cosmos, Red Noise, Erik Satie AND the better cheese in the world

Jonny Zchivago said...

Yep monsieur Anonymous, I forgot to list all those shit french acts too....and the shit cheese,of which there are MORE varieties in the British Isles Than France....check it out.

Anonymous said...

cheddar it's not a cheese, it's elizabeth's smegma

Jonny Zchivago said...

I assume, Monsieur Anon, that you are one of the legions of Frogs who think the only British cheese is the worlds' best selling cheese, Cheddar? As most french cheese tastes like soap, don't think you are in the position to criticize. As i said there are more types of cheese in the uk than France...fact. Not that i give a shit about cheese,but the french are obsessed with their fucking ordinary cheese,to go with the stale bread they are always carrying around with them.

Anonymous said...

I really do love The Lous. If only there was more recorded evidence of them...

Vw said...

Etron fou, Etron fou! I completely agree with all the list of anonymous, we can add Jean Guerin, Jean Jacques birgé or "Evariste" this french young scientist in the 60's that sung for pay his research (now he composes for the plants to grow faster with music, he calls it genodics) some lyrics about "integral calculus". And the fake punk side has been turn into a lot of great synth pop in our country. Add all musique concrete (michel chion)...

Vw said...

or Atom Cristal!

Jonny Zchivago said...

I'm only teasing you Froggies. I have a bucket load of French Minimal Synth stuff. Like Ptose, Deux,Philippe Laurent, DZ Lectric;not as good as the Belgians, but pretty great. For my shame I am a Zeuhl fan too.But as far as Rock music is concerned, French = utter shite.Stick to making cheese that tastes of soap. I moved to your country to get away from Britain, but its even shitter here!.....a lot shitter.

stephen Surreal said...

This thread seems to becoming rather cheesy - personally,my favourite cheese,I make myself,by not washing under my fore skin for a few months,add some toe jam in the mix - yummy.

Jonny Zchivago said...

he'e Lewd, he's crude, he's Ssssssttttteeeepppppphhhheeeeennn Surrrrreeeaaaaalllll.
This is what the frogs actually think us brits actually eat.......actually. They do my 'ead in.

Jonny Zchivago said...

To Andy R, your comment got put into spam!....but yes i agree....especially as Scouts of Uzbekistan(the groop i'm in) will probably be supporting Zoviet France in Bristol next year(bottom of the bill of course!).
If you want "Garista" or another lp by them that starts "Moh....something",i'll send you the link.

gary sargent said...

The Swiss have everyone beat in the cheese game.