Various Artists ‎– "Skydog Commando" (Skydog ‎– SGSC 0018) 1978

To keep up the tentative French theme I was going to post a Zoviet france tape,"Garista"; but i remember them throwing a geordie hissy fit the last time I posted their stuff.This is a rare thing, with only Psyclones,Dog As Master,Noh Mercy,and Crawling Chaos,whinging about it(all americans,with a little 'a'and geordies with a little 'g' I notice!).

You can check out what that prick from the awful crawling chaos(two little 'c's) has to say about me here!

As Zoviet France are banned from the free publicity of try before you buy, from bands you haven't heard of,thanks to this blog.I will have to stoop to this fine example of French cluelessness when it comes to La Musique Moderne.

Please excuse my thinly veiled venom ce soir,especially if you are French (they can't help it y'know);but i'm feeling particularly bitter and twisted and I wanna vent it,because I can....and France is the victim.

Yup, I live in France.A land with a great past of great military defeats,boring unadventurous food, bland dress sense, and pubs that look like train station waiting rooms. Then rock'n'roll happened and it was downhill from there!

A place such as this, with entrenched behavioural patterns,where the cops don't work between 12 and 2pm, where the shops shut just when you need them,and no-one ever leaves their region, never mind the country. Got left standing by “les Anglo-Saxons” at the starting line, with Johnny Halliday (who every Frenchman thinks is a Global Megastar,and even he is now Belgian!?) their only incredibly naff contribution. A population who are obsessed with apple based desserts,chocolate flavoured everything, and tuck their sweaters into their trouser tops,tightly tethered by a shiny belt, could not compete. The language didn't fit into a standard rock song,with its monotonous one note delivery, and over syllabled spittle scattering words. France is famous for its cheeses, of which it proudly boasts of 500 plus varieties, of which French Pop music is one. The post 1956 era was about modernisation,from film, to music,to food; the French can't see why something as perfect as frenchness needs to be modernised or even changed at all. I can think of a thousand reasons,and I can't wait to get out of this creative cul de sac(literal translation 'arse of the bag') of a has been land.

There, of course ,were some good Frog Bands......er........Magma......er........Magma......well ,I like Stinky Toys anyway.

This compilation of French 'Punk Rock', is a fairly standard example of how they usually find a way of making anything from the modern world sound fairly atrocious. Lets face it, they made a better attempt at Punk Rock than they did any other genre from the modern idiom of Pop, especially Reggae (They still think Bob Marley is alive and serving Ratatouille in some shit provincial restaurant, that thinks its food is the best in the world, like all of them do.)

Its a uninspiring serving (Like in their deluded restaurants), of weedy pub rock, retro-rock'n'roll,Schlager and swarthy,anaemic punk-a-like bands,in loafers, and C&A leather jackets, with tassles. The French's inability to shout without sounding like a cheese grater on your teeth, is also a big drawback in the world of Punk rock;and are arrogant enough to claim inventing the genre,they did after all contribute he typically pretentious nonsense that is Situationism into the mix

Yes, I hate this crap country, but there is something charming about the music on this compilation; like watching your children playing a instrument in the school symphony orchestra. Ah Diddums, bless their little white stockinged feet,and their rancid B.O. Problem (who says racial stereotypes aren't true?).

I do have some sympathy for them, even though they laugh and point at every other country, race, and disability , but cannot take any joke about themselves in return. Arrogant to the point of self-deifying, they are human too.....even though they think Napoleon is a national hero(Hitler mark 1 or what?), and enthusiastically collaborated in the Holocaust; you gotta be glad that this place is around. If only to show everyone else how NOT to do it. One of the greatest living museums on the planet. And this record is a fine example of one of its exhibits.

Tracklist:
A1 –Rockin' Rebels Water Wheel 2:37
A2 –Puravida The Last Night 3:08
A3 –Electric Callas Kill Me Two Times 4:10
A4 –Calcinator Electrifié 2:00
A5 –Asphalt Jungle Money 2:55
B1 –Dogs Here Comes My Baby 1:58
B2 –Kalfon Rock Chaud Camion 3:05
B3 –Controle Depression 4:32
B4 –Lou's Back In The Street 2:32
B5 –Scooters Hygiène 3:40

DOWNLOAD a french letter full of (s)punk HERE!