The Dodgems - "The Dodgems Anthology 1978-80"

Most Die or DIY? readers know that I can't stand 'Clever Clever' groups.

This is true, but there's Clever, and there's 'Clever Clever'.

The double Clever types, tend to try too hard to show off their witty double entendre's and jeux du mots (that's French, ain't I clever, clever?), tricky time signatures and eccentric herky jerky melody lines. Some even extend this to video's like The Cardiacs,who desperately gurn and spazz-dance to hammer home the point with a jackhammer,even when we simpletons got the idea after ten seconds.

The Dodgems, are the right kind of Clever. Subtly ironic and genuinely funny lyrics,delivered with a laconically sarcastic tone ,atop a simple spacey pop tune that doesn't overstay its welcome.

Everyone should know “Lord Lucan is Missing” by heart,and be singing “I Don't Care” at karaoke nights down the pub.

The scandal is that they only released two or three singles in their lifetime; so the time is right to make available all studio recordings,demos and peel session tracks in one convenient handy package. Ladies and non-ladies, we present “The Dodgems Anthology 1978-80”.

Tracklisting:

1 Lord Lucan (newscast version)

2 Science Fiction (Peel session)

3 Muscle Beach (Peel Session)

4 Gotta Give It Up(Peel session)

5 My First Divorce

6 Burgess, Philby, and Maclean

7 Throw a Wobbly

8 Hard Shoulder

9 Science Friction (Single version)

10 Acid Test

11 Lord lucan (Single Version)

12 Just like The Photo

13 Lord Lucan (Vaultage 78 version)

14 Gotta Give It Up (Criminal Records version)

15 National front

16 We're Just A Habit

17 I Don't Care (unedited version)

18 Armchair Fascists

19 I Watch my TV

20 Will you be my Co-habitee?

21 Lord Lucan (Demo)

22 Lord Lucan (Peel session)

23 Peel Dodgems Waffle.

DOWNLOAD so thedodgems are no longer missing from your collection HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "Vaultage 78 - Two Sides Of Brighton" (Attrix Records ‎– RB/03 LP) 1978

One of the earliest and best known regional compilations of unsigned New wave pop groups was “Vaultage 78”. Made up of bands from Brighton, it was championed by Radio 1 dodgite ,John Ravenscroft, and included such all-time classic pop toons as “Lord Lucan is Missing” and “Elvis is Dead”.

Brighton is best know these days as the Gay capital of the United Kingdom. In 1978, it sounded very gay, as in having lots of fun, rather than indulging in lots of same sex activities.

'Cock Fun' was the last thing on The Dodgems mind (I hope!) when they effortlessly churned out reams of great , although admittedly camp,pop songs. The most famous of which was “Lord Lucan(is missing)”,and was even praised by Paul McCartney of all people. Should have been a top three smash in a fair and equal society,as should most of their extensive(and largely unreleased) canon. A handy Dodgems anthology will be posted after this entry (not another gay reference by the way you mucky bugger!)

As for The Piranhas, felching was never referenced in their classic odes of self-disgust such as “I don't want my body” and “Virginity”. Intelligent and witty bards of the medium of underground popcraft.

A sense of sophisticated Ironic humour seems to be the common denominator of the 1978 music scene in Brighton. As Peter and the Test Tube Babies' Classic bad taste anthem, “Elvis is Dead”, testifies. It was downhill from here for Peter and the boys, as they descended into the "La Punk Pathétique" fad, with Splodgenessabounds and others nobody remembers, or ever found remotely funny.

Comedy songs are an area to be avoided. It rarely works, even Monty Python's song were dreadful.One can only think of The Flight of the Conchords, and Vic Reeves' “I Remember Punk Rock”to actually pull it off.

That said, subtle humour can, and does work well in the pop song pond very comfortably.

Nicky and the Dots, the Parrots, and The Vitamins, make up the numbers with some passable ditties; and suspected 'tuppence lickers' ,Devil's Dykes, are probably the only contributors on this LP to reference homosexuality. So different from today, when yer average gay person will tell you they're Gay before they even say hello.

Why are we(they) obsessed by sexuality in the 21^st century? Its just another weapon of mass distraction,to aid the creeping Orwellian agenda of the global state, fuelled by the almost constant propaganda in the media and entertainment industries.

This album is refreshingly free of this sexual slavery,except for some innocent references,laced with self-effacing humour. From an era when Brittany Spears wasn't even born; never mind kidnapped ,abused, and traumatised into a state of multiple personality disorder by the Mickey mouse Club;along with that other mind controlled smut peddler, Justin Trousersnake.

Created Ambassadors of pure Evil.

Tracklist :

A1 –Nicky & The Dots -Girl Gets Nervous
A2 –Nicky & The Dots -I Find That Really Surprises Me
A3 –Nicky & The Dots -Wrong Street
A4 –The Dodgems -I Don't Care
A5 –Devil's Dykes -Fruitless 

A6 –Devil's Dykes -Plastic Flowers
A7 –Peter And The Test Tube Babies- Elvis Is Dead
B1 –The Parrots -Larger Than Life
B2 –The Parrots -Vicious Circle -
B3 –The Vitamins -New Town
B4 –The Dodgems -Lord Lucan Is Missing
B5 –The Piranhas -Tension
B6 –The Piranhas -Virginity
B7 –The Piranhas - I Don't Want My Body

DOWNLOAD two sides of brighton from around 1978 HERE!

Various Artists - "The Wonderful World Of Glass(volume One)" (Glass Records ‎– GLASS 010) 1981

The primary reason for including a Glass records compilation on this site,is the inclusion of another lost Lemon Kittens track. The less strange,but beaty, “What the Cat Brought In”; not for completists only.

What else is on this then, you ask.......or ,more likely, probably not?

Nuneaton's Eyeless In Gaza soundalikes,Bron Area are on here, and even the two halves of yer actual, Nuneaton's own, Eyeless In Gaza dip into their vast reservoir of tracks for us.

Shit, I didn't see the Legendary Pink Dots! I usually slag these geezers off, but I'm fucked off writing about a band I don't particularly like. I hear nothing here to change my entrenched position.

Great tracks by, it's the Nuneaton connection again, Kevin Harrison. Not from Nuneaton are Schleimer K, Joy Div copyist lightweights English Subtitles, and probably many more?

I suppose we may get some sulking Nirvana bores salivating over the Marine Girls track, as Cobain expressed a liking for the twee indie act before blowing his brains out. Sad.....no not the suicide.....the Nirvana nerds!

Tracklist:

A1 Schleimer K - She's Gone

A2 Bron Area - You Would Be Amazed

A3 Ciaran Harte - Johnny Doesn't Need Much

A4 Legendary Pink Dots - The Defeated

A5 Marine Girls - Flying Over Russia

A6 Peter Becker - During Half Sleep

A7 Kevin Harrison - Blinded By Hypnotism

A8 Lemon Kittens - What The Cat Brought In

B1 Where's Lisse? - Red Light

B2 Tonix - The Sex Junk

B3 English Subtitles - Water

B4 Martyn Bates - Nascent Fragrance Of Skin

B5 3 Way Dance - Praise The Flames

B6 No More - Hypnotised

B7 Clinical Noise - Venus Comes

B8 Religious Overdose - Blow The Back Off It

B9 Richard Formby - Your Name You're Strange

DOWNLOAD into your own wonderful world HERE!

Various ‎Artists – "Hoisting The Black Flag" (United Dairies ‎– UD 06) 1980

Here we go,- a United Dairies compilation!

And what's this, an exclusive but errant Lemon Kittens track?

The ironically titled “Funky 7”,is dance music for quadriplegic psychopaths of all creeds and colours. Personally, I find backwards avant-drone dislocated sound collage very funky. I know i'm white, and “ain't got da funk”, but I’d take to an empty dance-floor if this played at my local Discothèque. If it ain't four to the floor, the average Caucasian can't even attempt the hokey-cokey without several homemade E's stuffed down his or her neck. So please,please,leave black peoples music for black people to make,and the 'whites' to make insane shit like this masterpiece.

Still on the subject of ,(cough), 'Dancing'. I drift back to my adolescence,when many a Punk Rock concert witnessed no dancing at all, and in some cases,like Joy Division, no movement at all. This seemed like a desirable natural state for oneself. Then, slowly, idiots like the fucking Specials started beckoning these same lost youths to get up and Dance???? And they DID!!? The enforced jollity of Ska music is the opposite to the voluntary doom of the music on this beyond fine compilation. This stuff is about finding out where your meat comes from, rather than partying back at the abattoir.

The Dance Music theme returns with tracks by David Cross (was he not in King Crimson mark II?), and Paul Hamilton & Joseph Duarte(aka  the Bombay Ducks), which repeats the disjointed collage feel of the Lemon kittens track.

Whitehouse remove us further from the party atmosphere, with two trademark recreations of an electronic Danté's inferno. It's a Hell preferable to one we're living in now,and I wager that dancing's banned; punishable by being sent straight to Heaven(that has to be the name of one of those 'super-clubs on that hive-minded, voluntary Guantanamo shit-hole, Ibiza!).

Naturally, Nurse With Wound make an appearance with a totally de-konstructed version of hill-billy square dance classic, “Duelling Banjo's”. I suspect, that it just shares the same title as the aforementioned red-neck banjo-off?Wishful thinking hopes it's a cover version that has totally removed all the bluegrass, and replaced it with a dead barren wasteland, adorned by a Black Flag hoisted in place of that KKK flag;or whatever they call that swastika alike confederate rag (Seig Howdy!). A desirable future for the Tea Party Taliban's Fatherland I’m sure we'd all agree? If you don't, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING READING THIS BLOG?

Tracklist:

A1	–Lemon Kittens	Funky 7
A2	–Truth Club	To The Nile Sisters
A3	–Nurse With Wound	Duelling Banjos
A4	–Mental Aardvarks	Bogart Was Three Lemons
B1	–David Cross	Early Dance Music
B2	–Bombay Ducks	Dance Music
B3	–Whitehouse	Her Entry
B4	–Whitehouse	Foreplay
B5	–Mental Aardvarks	What Have You Done (Pieces Of Meat)?

download THE BLACK FLAG here!

Various Artists - " Northern Lights, Issue One" 1981

Hopelessly obscure cassette, referred to as an “Audio Magazine” on the insert. Blessed with previously unavailable live Cabaret Voltaire rarities from the Les Disques du Crepescule era. Can't go wrong there then, one of the most influential bands of all time to start and finish yer magazine promises much.

What follows up “Sluggin' for Jesus”? Only the bard of Leicester himself, Kevin Hewick, reciting some of his poetry in a fine example of a toned down east midlands accent; thats right we (yes, I am from Leicester!) don't have brummie accents you southern dick 'eads.

Then, a revelation, Rire to Laugh (I'm sure there should be a comma after Rire?) made more recordings than the ones featured on the classic “Four Ways Out” compilation. These two tracks sound a lot more hip and competent than previous efforts, which is both a good and bad thing. Rire to Laugh were not wilfully amateurish one trick ponies apparently!?

Malc Smith, he of the Mudhutters, does his best impression of the backing music from “Harry Smiths Anthology of American Folk”. Lo-fi acoustic instrumentals that are just lacking Dock Boggs or Blind Lemon Jefferson to add some Appalachian tales of murder and infidelity to finish 'em off.

Or maybe Malc Smith could have accompanied 'member' of “The Situationist Youth Collective”; and his very 'student entertainments officer' monologue. He drones on about the various acts put on at Plato's Ballroom (Sounds like an episode of Star Trek?), which included the very Great Cabaret Voltaire, who finish off this cassette-zine, with an edited version of theWestern Mantra.

This in turn, reminds me of getting an afternoon off school to go to the Dentist in 1980,but instead I went and bought “The Three Mantras” and went home. I never went to the dentist again and still have a full set of reasonably pearly gnashers. I attribute this good fortune to perhaps thee most influential group of my youth; I thank thee CV.

Just brush your teeth after every meal, and floss regularly; and at the first opportunity get your mercury amalgam fillings removed and replaced. These things are toxic, and 'they' put this shit in the mouths of innocent kids,mostly unnecessarily, to cash in on the old skool NHS. Never trust the advice of a professional!

Track Listing:

A1 Cabaret Voltaire – Sluggin' for Jesus

A2 Kevin Hewick – KH recites and comments

A3 Rire to Laugh – Let the Children play

A4 Rire to Laugh – Silent water

B1 Malc Smith – Happy pig dance

B2 Malc Smith – Lookin' over under yonder

B3 Malc Smith – Mountain Song

B4 The Situationist Youth Collective – monologue

B5 Cabaret Voltaire – Western Mantra (Edit)

DOWNLOAD the light from the north HERE!

I'm So Hollow ‎– "Emotion / Sound / Motion" (Illuminated Records ‎– JAMS 5) 1981, "Dreams To Fill The Vacuum" single and the Peel session 1980

Not many nearly famous pop groups follow the DIY principle of stopping once you've achieved your goals; even if the spectre of moderate sucess is luring your soul onto the rocks. The very Great I'm So Hollow, from Sheffield, did this as soon as they recorded their debut LP; stopping even before it was released. This, I say, is very admirable indeed. They first appeared on the superb DIY compilation LP's "Hicks from the Sticks", and Sheffield comp "Bouquet of Steel" in 1980, winning them a chance to record a Peel Session (included in the download); and as alternative chart popularity beckoned appeared at the legendary Futurama Festival with the likes of PiL and Joy Division, made an album and split up....for good. What they have left is a legacy of superbly wobbly urban sci-fi rock, that stands up with the best from an era full of wobbly sci-fi rock. I loved it then and its even better now; especially with the knowledge that they didn't do it to become famous.Especially great was the debut single, "Dreams to fill the Vacuum", pressed on lovely fuzzy sounding clear vinyl,and the lovely Jane Wilson was on synthesizer too! Post punk puritans. 

Track Listing:  

1- "Emotion/Sound/Motion" 
 A1 Entrance 
 A2 Which Way..? 
 A3 Unbroken Line 
 A4 Touch 
 A5 Collisions 
 B1 Excitement = Change 
 B2 The Triangular Hour 
 B3 Emotion / Sound / Motion 
 B4 Nosferatu 
 B5 Distraction

DOWNLOAD the opposite of a bowel motion HERE! 

2- Peel session, 1980 a- Fashion b- Monotony c-Which Way? d- Dreams to fill the Vacuum 

DOWNLOAD a very a-peeling session HERE! 

3- "Dreams To Fill The Vacuum" (Hollogram Records 7" ,1980) 

a- "Dreams to fill the Vacuum) 
b- "Distraction  

DOWNLOAD some dreams to fill 7 inches of the vacuum HERE!

Various Artists - "Hicks From The Sticks" (Rockburgh ROC 11) 1980

A very influential compilation, compiled by music journalist Des Moines. His aim was to uncover 'talent' in the musical underground of the UK's provinces.There was even an artist on here that scored a number one single, namely Wah! Heat.(see 'story of the Blues' by Wah!).
A lot of this could have been released in the 'noughties' by one of those multitudes of hideous drainpipe and cardigan wearing bands who had parents with record collections with "Hicks from the Sticks" in it.Except that this is the real stuff.
Stand out tracks are Clock DVA "You're Without Sound", Section 25 "After Image" and the brilliant I'm So Hollow's "I Don't Know". 

Track Listing:
1. Airkraft - Move In Rhythm
2. Expelaires - Sympathy (Don't Be Taken In)
3. Clock DVA - You're Without Sound
4. Music For Pleasure - The Human Factor
5. Nightmares In Wax - Shangri-La
6. Ada Wilson & Keeping Dark - Head In The Clouds
7. Modern Eon - Choreography
8. Medium Medium - Them Or Me
9. Radio 5 - True Colours
10. They Must Be Russians - Where Have I Seen You
11. Section 25 - After Image
12. Art Failure - Gimmick
13. I'm So Hollow - I Don't Know
14. Wah! Heat - Hey Disco Joe
15. Stranger Than Fiction - Immortal In Mirrors
16. The Distributors - TV Me

DOWNLOAD some hicks from various northern English conurbations HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "Raw Deal!" (Raw Records – RAWL 1) 1977

When the human race is on the brink of inevitable extinction in a hundred years or so, and a database of all great human achievements is launched into space to preserve this culture for some lucky nascent alien race? To maybe learn from,and hopefully avoid the same fate. The person who has the job of including the greatest ever record labels has to include Raw Records in the top three or four!? (perm any two from Ron Johnson, Fuck Off, Factory,ESP,Impulse,Rough Trade,Deleted,etc to make up the remainder of top places).

There ain't a shit track on either “Raw Deal” or “Oh No! It's More From Raw”,and I played these to death back in 77-78.

I remember taking my flares wearing Australian cousin 'down town' to go record buying during the height of Punk Rock. Visiting the UK for the first time since 1968, it was like he'd arrived on another planet; Punk Rock was not such a huge phenomenon back in Oz, where the Beatles and Abba still ruled supreme with da yoot. Strange from a land that gave us The Saints, The Victims, and Radio Birdmen!? 

After enduring a rendition of The Users “Sick of You” played at ear bleeding volume,he told my Mother that he'd “never felt so old!”.Outside of the UK,certain North East coast US cities, parts of California and Sweden(?), it was the same story everywhere.

This is the punk sound I prefer, no charlie big potatoes here; punk from the provinces. Even the laughable cockney-isms of the young Kevin Rowland from the Killjoys, who came from Birmingham. 
This is Outsider punk;a melange of Chuck Berry riffs, pub rock, teen angst,glue,speed and lager; the spawn of hopelessness. Forget chart friendly unit shifters like The Buzzcocks,these tunes were unlikeable;unless you understood ,emotionally,where they were coming from. Having a future wasn't good enough for these kids.

The fucking problem is, give 'em (the modern thoroughly brainwashed 'facebook' generation) a couple of quid in the back pocket, a steady income, new television and X-Box and they (who the fuck are 'They' anyway?), could do any atrocity and no fucker would complain. This was the problem with Punk Rock ,before Joy Division and industrial music; too much focus on the smaller picture, unemployment, boredom, and lack of money. When the real problem was this illusory system with fake goals, carrot and stick slavery, and the unelected controllers behind a fraudulent one party democracy. The current situation is one of an Orwellian Reality that we have been stealthily manipulated into accepting with almost zero dissent. Where's the punk rock today?............its here on “Raw Deal”, kids with No Future from 1977; how right they were after all? We've got a future but we don't fucking want it!

Musically, we've got all the Sick Things tracks that never existed, an errant Users studio track, and the Psycho's muttering the taboo about being British and ,gasp, White! Its all good,if not great.

Tracklist:

A1	–Users, The	I'm In Love With Today
A2	–Acme Sewage Co.	I Don't Need You
A3	–G.T.'s, The	Millionaire
A4	–Bloodclots	Louie, Louie
A5	–Sick Things	Bondage Boy
A6	–Psycho's	Soul Train
A7	–Killjoys	Recognition
A8	–Sick Things	Anti Social Disease
B1	–Sick Things	Kids On The Street
B2	–Killjoys	At Night
B3	–Psycho's	Young British & White
B4	–Acme Sewage Co.	I Can See You
B5	–G.T.'s, The	Move On
B6	–Zhain	Get Ready
B7	–Sick Things	Sleeping With The Dead

DOWNLOAD a raw deal HERE!

Blah Blah Blah ‎– "Blah Blah Blah (2)" (Blah Records ‎– B.L.P.2) 1982

Christ! Here's Blah Blah Blah's second compilation (also called er....Blah Blah Blah??) of their bedroom noodlings. This is gonna be shit?.....Wait.....No.....I'm enjoying it. Something's different from the 'reviewing the first LP times'?

I'm now thinking sixth form college drop-out Residents!

Yup.....thats right....i'm drunk.

Like ecstasy and acid house, speed and punk rock, LSD and Psychedelia; you need to be drunk to enjoy Blah Blah Blah. Its kinda like the scale of ugliness for sexual partners scale; how many beers is he or she before you wanna 'Do it' with them? Well, Blah Blah Blah's second LP is three cans of (Lidl) strong continental lager on an empty stomach.

Is this really good? I'm gonna have three more cans and ascertain afterwards. The likelihood is that after six beers, I couldn't give a shit. I'd probably write a rave review of Dire Straits at the six beer mark.

I will,however, as I am under the influence, admit to illegally downloading Dire Straits first album, and really enjoying it. They were 'Pub Rock' after all, and I love Pub rock. I was probably drunk!?

Fuck it! I'm determined to do a Pub Rock Month, but I won't be including Dire Straits.

I think i'll crack open another can and play Blah Blah Blah's first album again?.....Nah!

Dire Straits it is!?

Tracklist:

A1	Woo You (Dec 81)
A2	Old Age Customs (Dec 81)
A3	Durables (Feb 82)
A4	The Hotel
A5	Tropical Holiday Time (May 80)
A6	Travelling On The Road Again
A7	Think Things Of You
B8	Nothing (Dec 81)
B9	Very Nice (Oct 78)
B10	The Feet Meet (Nov 80)
B11	Heart Attack (April 81)
B12	I Just Don't Know (Oct 81)
B13	Burn (Nov 81)
B14	Rum Rhumba (Feb 82)

DOWNLOAD blah blah blah blah blah blah2 HERE!

Blah Blah Blah ‎– "Blah Blah Blah" ( Trans Universal Records ‎– TU1) 1981

Blah Blah Blah, the genius's that created the “In The Army”(mp3) single on Absurd records. Even the B-side was rather marvellous, the Imperious “Why Diddle?”. If only they had an album of this earth moving greatness?......well they did.....an eponymously titled collection from 1981.....but, nothing earth moving about this collection of farting about in the bedroom nonsense. Maybe bowel moving is more appropriate for this rather annoyingly unfunny mess.

'Music from Essex', it said on their absurd single,but no Essex accents can be heard here, as I suspected. Definitely Manc's.

Its a collection of stream of consciousness incompetence by bored twenty-somethings inspired by the 'anyone can do it' ethos of the age. Not the best advert for a noble philosophy, and this comes from a Danny and the Dressmakers fan.

Blah Blah Blah,are a great control experiment for the Picasso school of learning to paint like an adult before you can paint like a child. I suspect Danny and the Dressmakers could play their instruments to a reasonably high standard before they unlearnt everything they know to be 'correct',and made '200 Cancellations' Can't say I suspect the same for Blah Blah blah.(DATD were funny too......sort of an essential property?)

If you're into silly, aimless, DIY improv, then this is for you. If not, get the magnificent Blah Blah Blah single, “In The Army”. One Flop Wonders.

Tracklist:

A1	My Mother Was A Radiator
A2	Disney On Ice
A3	Long John
A4	The Red Spot
A5	Going Down To Soho
A6	So Sore
A7	The Four Corners Of The World
A8	Interference
B1	Itching In My Pants
B2	Natives Are Restless
B3	Weasel Hunting
B4	Liquidizing Chickens
B5	Outside The Veg. Shop
B6	Socialist Democrats
B7	Wayo Wayo

 

DOWNLOAD blah blah blah etc etc etc HERE!

Seiei Jack ‎– "The Joke Project 1984" (TJP Distribution – TJP008) 1984

Something that cassette culture introduced to the world was the concept of music being made by complete strangers from all over the planet, who would never meet; except on cassette tape.
In 1984, Japanese artist, Seiei Jack Nakahara, started "The Joke Project/Re-Apocalypse Project", which invited any artist/musician, who so desired, to participate in a home taping/mail art collaboration program.This project was to join all kinds of experimental musics:Noize,Industrial,Breakcore,Ambient,Lo-fi, to create something, hopefully ,unique. Every person who wished to participate has only to add samples & loops to their own musical/audio treatment to create their own vision of the Apocalypse in a track. This was, of course done by 'snail mail' in 1984, whereas this is now commonly done via the information super highway that is 'the internet', leading to the artform that, enlightenedly  became known as 'mail art'.
Such home taping luminaries as Zan Hoffman, and Magthea, do their bit, amongst an array of unknown lesser lights to create a near chaotic sound collage that sounds like a very attractive version of the Apocalypse. Although Zan Hoffman, repeating the phrase "This is Mr Zan" over and over again, does seem to have a pretty tenuous apocalyptic message; but then again the concept of the Apocalypse itself is pretty tenuous, so what do I know?
Come friendly Apocalypse and entertain us as thoroughly as this thirty year old cassette!

DOWNLOAD this joke project HERE!