Criswell ‎– "The Legendary Criswell Predicts Your Incredible Future" (Horoscope Records ‎– H-156) 1970

"We are all interested in the future, for that is where we are going to spend the rest of our lives !", said bonkers TV Psychic Criswell....he didn't have any other names apparently,which is usually the hallmark of a genius. Criswell certainly had a genius in the way he could predict virtually nothing that came true.Thanks to the benefit of living precisely 20 years after the Criswell predicted 'End of the World',we can look back and definitely cross vending machine sex-change operations off of the list for starters.
I am rather envious of that splendid cultivated kiss curl that can be located revolving from his receeding hairline.
It may surprise you to know, but the Narrator of 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' was predictably, a rampant Homosexual.Which would have made him fit in rather snuggly with all the other freaks and outsiders that made up the Edward D. Wood Jr entourage.
The low budget Nostradamus supplies us with 40 minutes of wide ranging predictions,that if the same analysis technique as applied to the cryptic verse of the mad monk of Provence, all of these madcap alternative futures have already happened,and this where you heard them first......and last, because, like Nostradamus....None of them came,or will appear to become true,without a dumpster full of autistic licence.
But, we laugh at Criswell, and take Nostradamus as 'real'??
The most disturbing thing about this trash culture clairvoyance is that its trival targets are only too omnipresent in this post Criswell future.Death, the proud brother, tapped on his shoulder well before he could bask in his cult glory, and before he could take advantage of having his remains blasted into outer space by missle.This prediction at least, did come true;but sadly,in the case of James "Scottie" Doohan of Star Trek.His rocket never made it into space, and crashed somewhere in the Mojave Desert...."the Engines could nae take it Captain!"

Tracklist:

1. Criswell Predicts Your Incredible Future (42.01)
2. Someone Walked Over My Grave (Bonus) (1:47)

I predict that you will DOWNLOAD these predictions HERE"