Thursday, 21 February 2019

Astral Social Club ‎– "#4" (Self-Released CD-r) 2005



As aural spam, or even astral spam, are a major source of material in the Astral Social Club. I thought I wouldn't waste your time with my silly opinions and review this album using more Spam from my junk folder. You've already had advice on enlarging your organ, so now I bring you an opportunity to be richer than your wildest dreams and massively sucessful by doing precisely....Nothing. Except making a quick Whats-App call to join the Illuminati. I did it, and now i'm penniless after The 'Illuminati' emptied my bank account, and ordered a massive plasma screen Television from Amazon in my name.
I'm sure that was just some kind of bureaucratic error, so if you want $600,000 US Dollars and a Golden Ring!!!...yes, a ring I said! Then read this important message:

"WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF RICHES,FAME AND POWERS. Are you a business man or woman, politician, musician,pastor,lawyer,actor,actress,banker,Footballer,doctor, engineer, model,graduate, student,seeking wisdom, fame,power, knowledge and wealth and you. want to be rich, powerful and be famous in life. You can achieve your dreams by being a member of the Great ILLUMINATI brother hood. With this all your dreams and heart desire can be fully accomplish, if you really want to be a member of the great ILLUMINATI brother hood, Note: newly recruited members are entitled with 600,000 US Dollars , A Golden Ring, that will protect and guild you from enemies, and a free visa to United State Of America . Please will do not share blood. Kindly Email us on worldilluminaticentre@gmail.com or whats app us on +2349031652461"

Important Note:
I'm assuming you are supremely intelligent if you read this blog, so I trust you have not called that number.If you did, this is a disclaimer,as I am not responsible for anyone misunderstanding obvious satire.
I'm already in the Illuminati anyways...it ain't up to much.Never get christmas cards from the Rothschilds,and don't get the chance to order False Flag terrorist attacks....never!!! I'm thinking about sending my ring back. Anyone know their address?


Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 4:54
2 Untitled 12:40
3 Untitled 2:17
4 Untitled 3:05
5 Untitled 5:23
6 Untitled 6:45
7 Untitled 4:27
8 Untitled 4:16
9 Untitled 5:18


16 comments:

liz jonny jewel said...

This is the bit makes me yearn to join. It thrills me as a magnet thrills iron filings.

"Please will do not share blood."

rex said...

aha, nice try!
i'm not giving out our address

Henk Madrotter said...

Just heard that Roger Bunker passed away :( Saw him perform with his band Bunker OESO for the first time in May, 1979 and many, many times after that.... One of the true god-fathers of Rotterdam punk....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCgJ7sB1CJQ



Jonny Zchivago said...

Indeed Jonny Jewel, as their blood shares the same characteristics as Lizard Blood,its good advice not to share blood with reptiles in general....as a rule.

Jonny Zchivago said...

Sad to hear Bunker has left us. I'm still shocked that we're all gonna die.

Jonny Zchivago said...

Rex, aka The Illuminati...If you ain't giving me your address then what should I do with my Ring?...don't answer that!

Jonny Zchivago said...

Ha!..I e-mailed the illuminati man with this simple question:

Ok what do I have to do to be in the Illuminati?

Love Lancelot Rothschild III

...and here's the answer I received:

Re: Where my 600,000 Dollar

Micheal John
09:59 (1 hour ago)
to me

Join the Illuminati cult online today and get instant sum of 1 million dollar with free home anywhere you choose to live in the world and also get 250,000 dollars monthly as a salary and kindly fill the following information below.
Full name………………………………
Country…………………………………
State of origin……………………….
Date of birth………………………….
Sex……………………………………….
Address……………………………….
Phone…………………………………..
Email address………………………
Attach Scan I’d card,passport or driver license containing your full details Tell us little about yourself… Attach scan school certificate.. No dirty game,no sacrifices and No evil….is a cult of peace, big aim


I think its on the level, don't you? Can't wait for my million dollar!!!!LOL.

Jonny Zchivago said...

I sent my details back to them, I await a reply:

Full name…Lord Lancelot Rothchild III……………………………
Country…Disneyland………………………………
State of origin…Naked…………………….
Date of birth……30 Feb 2020…………………….
Sex…rarely…………………………………….
Address…1000000 Yellow Brick Road, OZ, Somewhere Over the Rainbow…………………………….
Phone…yes I have one………………………………..
Email address…what is E-mail?……………………

I have no passport, but i'll send you all my bank details instead,and the keys to my house.Is that ok?

Jonny Zchivago said...

Well they replied..looks like I'm gonna be in the Illuminati!????

"well thanks for the information and your details are perfectly OK ,and they had being forwarded to the temple council to have you register properly,

kindly note after your information had be registered successfully, a welcome message will send to you along with your membership code and the oath form which you will path take before we proceed to your initiation for you to become a full member and enjoy the full benefits of being a member of the brotherhood

kind regard "

See you in Hell Scummers!

Henk Madrotter said...

I'm so excited for you Jonny!!!! A MILLION DOLLARS!!! And in the Illuminati!!!! YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!! Macron??? Don't look any further, Jonny is here!!!

Jonny Zchivago said...

How much of my newly acquired riches do you want Henk? Name your figure....i'm going after Macrons job....i'm gonna introduce a 15hour working week make Hip Hop illegal, and apply for France to join the United Kingdom. Mmmm this power thing makes me feel peculiar. I think i might turn into a Twat!

Franca Maven said...

WELCOME TO THE OFFICAL POST OF THE CHURCH OF SATAN

The church of satan was created by our late hight priest magus anton szandor lavey on walpurgisachd 1966 as year one,since that date the church of satan
and anton szandor lavey have become household name,the opening and floodgates of a revolution designed to smash the hypocrisy and unreason of organised religion and mystical philosophies of either rigit or left handpaths.
our primary goals is to clearly disseminate the philosophy created by Anton szandor lavey to those who have an intrest in becoming a member of the church of satan, we are looking for a few outstanding individual who have what it takes to be one of the Alite elite.
To us satan is the symbol that best suite the nature of we who are carner by birth.the name "illuminati" is a name given to the church of satan because of the aim of the church and the name "illuminati" means ALL FOR ONE or WE ARE ALL ONE.
The church of satan is a religion that best suit men who want to increase their wisdom,their talent,their famouness and their wealth. the church of satan have help so many people in worldwide till date, the blessing of the church of satan is unlimited and can never stop if you are a member.
Satanism is not for everyone but if you choose to be a member,we welcome you.church of satan is not a fan club,a pen pal society,or a loney heart group, the church of satan is a group of dynamic individuals who stand forth as the ultimate underground alternative -the Alien Elite. we realize what we have,what we are and what we shall become. our scope is unlimited and extent of your involvement is base upon your own potential.
Beware of who you contact if you choose to become member of the church of satan because not all post are real. the church of satan is not a play ground for kids or those who just want to become a member and posses wealth, before joinning the church of satan you must have something you engage yourself in that you want the church of satan to increase.email jamesshamar666@gmail.com PLEASE NOTE: There is no local branched on any local contact through which one can become a member, the only central administration office is only here in U.S.A in new york
CENTRAL ADMINISTRATION OFFICE
church of satan
p.o.box 666
poughkeepsie
new york
email: jamesshamar666@gmail.com whatsapp number +2349073889037
phone calls are not accepted or returned.
That is the administration office, if you choose to make your dreams come true you can join through that address giving above or if you think that you can not make it to U.S.A you can send a mail to that email address that is also there, so that you can be instruct how to join the church of satan
WARNING: only those who are intrested to become a member of the church of satan are allow to visit office or send a mail to the email address below.
Do not contact if you are not intrested and once you contact there is no going back. so think befor contacting.
email: jamesshamar666@gmail.com OR whatsapp number +2349073889037

Henk Madrotter said...

I don't need any money, just build a wall oh Mighty One!

Anonymous said...

Take care, those invitations look like some bad fake.
The ring must return on the B-side of the moon.
The access is under the Kheops pyramid in Egypt.
You have to contact "Vanessa" at Le Caire,
Bar Lulu, in front of Sheraton hotel.
Your code name: kisskiss_bisoubisou
You have one month until the next equinox,
after you'll have to pay interests....

Thank you to play with us and good luck.

Greg Adolf said...

JOIN THE ILLUMINATI666 BROTHERHOOD?!!!
contact us on +2348035692248 or illumnatib53@gmail.com
Are you a business man, or woman,are you a pastor
or an artist,, do you want to be famous or you want
to be rich or powerful, it is better you become a
member of Illuminati and make your dream come
true . this is the chance for you now to become a
member of the temple KINGDOM and get what you
seek from us.if you are ready to become a member
of Illuminati and realize your dream then-: whatsapp
us or email
illumnatib53@gmail.com
fill in the following as well-:
NAME....................
NEXT OF KIN...................
ADDRESS.................
MARITAL STATUS.............
COUNTRY.........
STATE..................
OCCUPATION................
MOBILE LINE............
A NEW MEMBER WILL GIVEN THE SUM OF
120MILLION DOLLARS, A CAR AND A HOUSE IN ANY
PART OF THE WORLD. NOTE: WE ARE NOT FORCING
ANYBODY FOR THIS. IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED
PLEASE DON'T APPLY



Jonny Zchivago said...

He He He!....can i have a house in Detroit or Syria please Greg Adolf?