Friday 14 July 2023

Electric Wizard – "Live Maryland Deathfest 2012" (Creep Purple – CPR-006) 2018


I used to have a Girlfriend like that, who would walk around bollock naked shouting, unshaven haven, and talked to a skull. Sounds exciting don't it?....well it fucking ain't. 
Ok, so I made the skull bit up, but it was symbollock of my actual skull that was in danger of being severed whenever she was drunk,or worse. Wild women (or just Women) aren't worth it.
You think I'm crazy? You'll understand after you've had a wank.
The previous post referenced the phenomenon that was the Video Nasty, so here are some audio nasties to make you grovel to the fallen Satanic angel of your choice.Therefore here's Electric Wizard in a live setting,whose line-up contained one of the 'Wild Women Of Wongo' that I warned you to steer clear of. A friend of mine committed suicide once upon a time,and the only picture i found on his laptop was one of that Bird from Electric Wizard.It seems that this music could seriously damage your health,direct  from Hell.......er.......not exactly in fact, but straight outta Dorset,nestled  in the quiet lazy rolling hills of the English southern coast countryside.And very nice it is too.
This reminds me of that gangster grime Rap posse, you know ...the Rap Singers.....you've seen 'em,at the shopping arcade,on the Top Of The Pops,doing a little dance........cripes, i'm being drawn into doing that Stuart Lee routine again......y'know?....The Rap Singers?
But the Rap singers I'm alluding to is number one act 'So Solid Crew', that urban city dwelling bunch of gangster boys,who turned out to be from the Hood in the  idyllic Dorset countryside.....via stage school rather than old Skool. Awwwww,makes you larf don't it?
I would never accuse Electric Wizard of going to stage school however,as it seems they are very much in touch with Satan. Full of Wild Women is Hell, an eternity of being annoyed and pissed off is some kind of Hell I would do anything to avoid.....short of joining the Jehovah Witnesses;but if Hell really is like Dorset, I'd happily haunt the country Pubs and hiking trails beyond the limits of infinity, forever...I assume 'beyond Infinity' is the same as forever?
Isn't Maryland where that doddering crumbly President,and professional (non)Irishman, Joe Biden lives?
I'm guessing he wasn't at this gig. But it seems he missed out on its endless crushing riffage,here captured in early Sabbath-esque lo-fidelity. The sonic ambition of this doom laden metal monster is rather too large for the bandwidth of a humble cassette,but that's how I like it with all the crisp edges blunted in the peripheral fog.
As for So Solid Crew, I'd like to flush them down the nearest peripheral BOG!

Tracklist:

A1 Supercoven
A2 Satanic Rites Of Drugula
A3 Dopethrone
A4 Witchcult Today
B1 Black Mass
B2 Return Trip
B3 The Chosen Few
B4 Funeralopolis

9 comments:

CS Geezer said...

Ah a fine and honorable gentleman you are! And reviews like this are the reason that herein lies the best music writing on the internet today. Also if Unshaven Haven hasn't been used as either a band name or album title I might have to swipe it.

Charles Hodgson said...

Satanic Rockers next please. Lynton Donovan's Christmas Fart Cracker. I just missed it on the Discogs. You know, "the discogs".
Stewart Lee is a wanker, Jakey Rowling is a heroine. I'd have reversed that a few years back. Times are fucked. Lee would make a nice heroin pusher, with all the little plastic dog poop bags available at his garden gate, and his imaginary taxi driver wife.

Robert Gomez said...

Actually Biden is a Delaware man.

Anonymous said...

had a wank, still not so sure that i don't need one of them wild nekid women...going to squeeze out another one. i'll get back to ya...

Jonny Zchivago said...

Anon....Maybe the best way to tackle this situation is to get a wild lady to wank you off before she starts to get irritating?

Jonny Zchivago said...

Don't be like that Charles....this is exactly what THEY want to happen. JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter for fucks sake!?....she's guilty.She makes me wanna self-identify and urinate in a standing position in a public toilet....its her fault.
Although coming across as one the anti-woke backlash,I now watch GB News for fun, in my imaginary taxi.

Jonny Zchivago said...

Robert Gomez.....i am in fact proud I got that wrong.

Anonymous said...

jz...yeah of course, so bloody obvious now you say it...get her to wank me!!! the thing is tho...
i'm just an incel/who's erections are good/but oh boy iam so badly miss-under-stood

Jonny Zchivago said...

Hey Anon...i'm not sure i wanna understand you......please god, don't let him work with children,or be a professional footballer, work at the BBC, or join the Police.