Big Stick – "Crack 'N' Drag" (Blast First – BFFP 25) 1988

I thought I'd have a go on one of these Artificial Intelligence programs,to see how they cope when faced with the Artificial Stupidity of The excellent Big Stick. I entered some info and cut'n'pasted some blurb from the internet,and this is what it came up with after i had to remove any sexual,political and racial references.Political correctness and offensive red lines will be hardwired in that fun fun FUN future we seem so inpatient to crush the last reasons to be alive with.The age of the self-replicating machine are dawning.

Anyway, this bland cliché ridden 21st century future of Music journalism nothingness,is what the computer came up with:

"In the world of dance music, there are only a few tracks that stand the test of time and remain cherished by generation after generation. One of those rare gems is "Drag Racing" by The Big Stick. Released in the mid-80s, this track was part of their EP called "Crack Attack," which is still regarded as one of the best dance music releases of all time. The Big Stick was an underground band hailing from the New York City art scene, and their music was a unique blend of art-rock and dance music. At the time, the punk scene was dominating the underground music scene, but The Big Stick was a breath of fresh air with their distinct sound and unconventional style. "Drag Racing" is a track that truly embodies the spirit of dance music. It's infectious, funky, and will make even the most reluctant dancer hit the floor and groove to the beats. The track features a hypnotic bassline that hooks you in right from the start, and the percussion and synth elements in the track add layers of complexity that make it stand out from other dance tracks of its time. The genius of "Drag Racing" lies in its ability to seamlessly blend different genres of music. The track draws inspiration from disco, funk, and punk rock, and fuses them together to create a sound that is entirely its own. It's a track that has something for everyone, and its popularity is a testament to its universal appeal. What makes "Drag Racing" even more impressive is its longevity. Over three decades have passed since its release, but the track still manages to captivate audiences. Its influence can be seen in modern dance music, and it continues to inspire new generations of artists. It's not just the music that makes The Big Stick and "Drag Racing" special; it's the band's unconventional approach to art and music that sets them apart. The band's name and album covers were inspired by phallic symbols, and their live performances were more akin to performance art than traditional concerts. They were pushing boundaries and challenging the norms of the music industry, and their music reflected that. In conclusion, "Drag Racing" by The Big Stick is a true masterpiece of dance music. It's a track that defies genres, captivates audiences, and remains relevant even after all these years. The Big Stick's unique approach to art and music has left an indelible mark on the music industry, and their music continues to inspire new generations of artists."

That would sit nicely in the review section of Mojo Magazine....just lacking an unseen Beatles photo section.

It really does make stuff up, that would kinda fit in any article.I wrote hardly any of the above!

Anyway, I've done a human version for you to contrast and compare.To see if it's worth having robots with critical minds, plotting in the corner of the fruit picking farm they are programmed to work in since Brexit removed all the Romanians from the UK,then found the Gammon faced gobshites who voted for it aren't willing to do the shitty jobs the foreigners did for them, so they can continue receiving their allowances for their bad backs.

On the Subject of Crack'n'Drag by The Big Stick group:

"This is how dance music should sound in my humble opinion.Spartan,not quite danceable,stoopid but clever,and a tad disturbing.

Drag Racing easily squeezes itself into my top ten bestest tunes of all time ever box.Big Stick slithered up like a slug from the NYC art rock underground(ugh!a bit of sick just came into my mouth momentarily!), in the mid-80’s, worlds apart both stylistically and sonically from noise-damaged bum-chums of the junkie-chic New York noise scene like Sonic Youth, Swans,Lydia Crotch with Aussie pets,Rowland H Hard-on,often interchangeable with the interminably awful Jim Foetus. You know where I'm going here don't 'cha? 'cus I don't?

I bought this compilation LP of their rather brilliant "Drag Racing" and "Crack Attack" ep's from back in the day,then they then seemed to sink without trace.Not even an oil slick floating on the surface of the sea of bad taste remained. To my surprise they made other recordings, and have even made some new ones in recent years. They may dress like that Cunt who was up stage front in the january 6th insurrection at the Capitol building with furry hat and horns,and ironically have a song called "I'm Gonna Shoot The President"; but  musically they are as weird as a whole capitol building full of drugged up Q-anon Trump Zombies prostrate in worship to their new God,with or without horns. 

Jacob 'I'm Guilty and i'm very very sorry' Chansley,the self-titled 'QAnon Shaman' of the jan 6th attack on democracy, who is NOT in Big Stick, will help make sure you're Free, even if he has to kill you to achieve it......cunt.

Big stick clearly do NOT come from the red Neck bloc,or even like Drag Racing. This is genuine Red Neck satire,helping extend Trump's imaginary wall further north of the Mexican Border,and eventually looping round, lasso-like, fencing those brother lynchin' bible licking Crack 'n' Meth fueled 2nd amendment toting Morons in one massive trailer park. Maybe we could do a deal with Putin to replace the 3 million Russian kids who left the country in fear of being drafted, with these unwanted Trump lovin' Fentanyl hooked Hillbillies? A threat that could end the war in Ukraine."

Tracklist:

1.Crack Attack 3:07
2.Crack Attack (Remix) 3:56
3.Billy Jack Paddy Wack 2:45
4.I'm Amazed 3:26
5.Friends & Cars (Recorded Live At The Folk City) 2:17
6.Shoot The President 2:21
7.Drag Racing 1:40
8.I Look Like Shit 2:01
9.Hell On Earth 2:19
10.Jesus Was Born (On An Indian Reservation) 2:32

DOWNLOAD that meth amphetamine quarter mile to a fentanyl laced doom in a tube top HERE!