Phuture – "We Are Phuture" - (Trax Records – TX165) 1988

Well, these Acid House pioneers didn't get where they are today through sleeve art alone,or lack of there in, but, for a brief moment they were certainly the Phuture of the Future and their questionable legacy seems to live beyond eternity.Out-living the clubs which are closing down at variable and increasing rates.

Surveys show that persons over 65 were far more likely to go out partying than Gen Z, who stay indoors, with a handful of chums a PS4 and a board game. They are deaf to music,blind to booze and drugs and sex, and think that being an AI'ed Hollywood star is an attainable dream,where no work is actually required to get there.

We parent types have fucked up another generation of entitled kids.

This was the Phuture ,however Dystopian,but it's out there, NOW.Waiting to fuck you up.

Basically We ARE all Fucked!

My 'good' advice to Gen Zed, is embrace the drugs,cigarettes and alcohol before its already too late, and have some illicit fun for once in your sad and dismal existences FFS!
Tracklist:

A We Are Phuture 8:38
B1 Slam 5:40
B2 Spank-Spank 4:58

DOWNLOAD back to the phuture HERE!

Various Artists– "Street Sounds-Electro 10" (Street Sounds – ELCST 10) 1985

Did I say Don't Mention The WAR!??

Is this record a warning from History, or did a Hip Hop Nostradamus write these dope lyrics?

"Star Raid" is an obvious reference to ballistic missiles passing through Space in a sub earth orbit raining down on Europe's civilian Infrastructure.....its all so clear to me now.

OMG! aka Oh.My.Allan, we're all gonna DIE.....AGAIN!?

Of course, Allan's radical Hip-Hop Cleric Brother from another mother ,has no father,has no Halo in a coat of many colours. The parthenagenecally created Divine D.J. Born Supreme Allah, is destined to be the Iranian lead monkey to actually press the GO! button that carries all that notorious,hiding, WMD-grade 60% pure Uranium sellotaped to the back of one of those imaginary long range missiles aimed at Diego Garcia, destroying 25% of the US Fleet in the process, and causing enough Fall-Out to bleach the Maldives clean of all foreign interference....for good!

After all,original prophecy-boy himself,D.J. Nostradamus, predicted a 7 month War in the Middle East.....can't see that happening can you?.....then comes the predictions greatest HIT,Rivers of Blood....pull the other one Nosher.....and then....Oh No!..a swarm of Bees....which is an obvious reference to the Drones.....no not the bandwagon jumping Punk group 'The Drones' from Manchester,UK, '77;...i'm talking weaponized Drones here, the ones that have been pummeling everyone east of the Mason-Dixon line, or Poland, since the start of the Ukraine war.

This is all a Proven FACT!......ask Donald Trump, He's known all this since way back before The Trump University started taking students money.

Well, it's gonna Kick Off innit.....OUCH! there goes my bone spurs again!

You better start Praying to his holiness the godlike'D.J. Born Supreme Allah' NOW!....or you will miss out on that coveted Martyrs death and, more importantly those 72 Virgins a martyr entering the kingdom of a christian free Heaven will receive. What happens to those innocent Lady-creatures I dread to imagine.....but Wait a minute!!!!?... aren't Virgins as shit in Bed as you are boys????

Come kindly nukes and rain down death and misery on the Oval Office.

Tracklist:

A1 Tricky Tee– Johnny The Fox
A2 Roxanne Shanté– Bite This
A3 The Dynamic Duo - Ft Knights Of The Turntables
A4 19th Fleet– Star Raid
B1 Run-D.M.C.– Together Forever
B2 M.C. Craig "G"– Transformer
B3 D.J. Born Supreme Allah– Two, Three, Break
B4 Freestyle– Don't Stop The Rock

DOWNLOAD! for the tenth time I said DOWNLOAD!....HERE!

Phuture – "Acid Tracks" (Trax Records – TX142) 1987

Was this repetitively bleepy knob twiddling four to the floor thumper really the year zero for Acid House? Or was it that it was Accidently created by three knob twiddlers from Chicago with silly names,including Spanky, DJ Pierre, and Herbert Herb Jackson?....who all worked for the music department in the CIA to rob the yooth of their minds(obviously NOT True....I think?)

Legend has it that Spanky,discovered the now classic Acid machine,the Roland TB303 Bassline,collecting dust in the corner of the office. A swift dusting off occurred and Spank hooked it up to the sequencer,and ...you guessed it....twiddled some knobs, resulting in lots of very strange squelchy noises that everyone else had rejected.They had bought one to exploit its claim that it could replace any Bassline you could imagine,which, of course it couldn't...It made squelchy noises;but to the correct Ear,this sound was something brand 'spanky' new,resulting in anyone who heard it to start dancing like a fucking idiot immediately......oh yeah,..I mean,dancing like an idiot as long as they consumed the obligatory sister drug MDMA. Basically,one would dance to anything if one dropped some Ecstasy or 'E' to amplify your tapping feet into a state of pure liquid chaos.
Phuture's debut track "Acid Tracks" caused havoc on dance floors in Chicago when it was originally released in 1986. It then went on to ignite a hells storm of questionable behaviour in farmers fields all around the M25 London Orbital in Great Britain, known as The Magic Roundabout.This was the start of Rave Culture,and the phenomenon was even debated in the UK Parliament on how to control it,as it was getting rather out of hand.

Acid Tracks was officially released on Trax Records in 1987. This track went onto spread around the world many times over and forty years later it,and its many imitators still plague the minds of children across the planet, and an epidemic of memory loss and depression blighted the E-Generation to their graves.

Acid Tracklisting:

A1 Acid Tracks 12:26

B1 Phuture Jacks 7:46
B2 Your Only Friend 4:53

DOWNLOAD the phuture from the past HERE!

Various Artists - "Street Sounds - Electro 9" ( ELCST 9) 1985

Like hunter gatherers these Crate Diggers scoured the used records section of junk stalls,and thrift stores looking for new breaks from the forgotten failures of the recent past.As if searching for fresh meat beneath the rotting vegetables of a throw away society.

Most junk vinyl has at least one nanosecond of interesting noise to repurpose. And back in the halcyon days before E-fucking-Bay ,sickeningly sussed 'vintage' vinyl peddlers, and fucking Discogs! All this stuff is no longer refreshingly cheap!? One Jazzy album,any Jazzy album,now goes for the price of a Roland TB303. 

Some of these sought after breaks often found themselves bought, or destroyed en masse by 'top' Rap acts and their management (the CIA) if only to stop their rivals getting to them first 

The 'Tech' gear of the early eighties is another accidentally timeless factor in the creation of this nu genre, whom some would suspect was the new Kontrol music created by the security services of the planet. Lets face it, all the Top Rap acts were and are got at by Ep-stain , filmed in flagrente-delicto with a 13 year old girl,which is highly illegal.....like Putin has on Trump, including the Pee-Pee party, where he was pissed on by a Putin supplied sex worker. This is what P-Diddy was doing too by the way.......its all proved...honest.

Well, this early generation of the Hip-Hop epoch, didn't rely on basing their childish rhymes on top of an obvious sample to carry the tune,they spent their spare time emptying the junk shops of rejected solid state Tech that White Guys didn't want, and made it work. The DMX, TR808,third hand Technics turntables and the aforementioned uber squelchy Roland Bassline. Simple but effective,and it made the Kids dance.......bloody Kids!!!

Tracklist:

1 Doug E. Fresh & Get the Fresh Crew– The Show
2 Bad Boys– Bad Boys Ft K-Love
3 D.St.– The Home Of Hip Hop
4 Kid Frost– Terminator
5 World Class Wreckin' Cru– World Class
6 Mantronix– Needle To The Groove
7 Fat Boys– The Fat Boys Are Back
8 Rock Master Scott & The Dynamic Three– The Roof Is On Fire

DOWNLOAD to avoid another invite to a p-diddy pee pee party HERE!

The Computer People Communicaters (CPC) – "Talking And Scratching (For The People)" -(Electric Land Records – EL 1007) 1983

DON'T MENTION THE WAR!.....I mentioned it about a thousand times but I think I got away with it!?)

Back in the good olde bad olde days ,like last week, America used to be a luminous toothed smiley bunch of friendly fun-lovin'liberal fans of freedom.Two Hundred and Fifty years of independence from the Motherland (Great Britain)later ,The failure to make America Great Again has bred a few million racially motivated Religious Nationalists,determined to empty their continent of anyone not wearing the national costume of Baseball Cap, plaid shirt,and fat over-hanging guts to hide the disintegrating waistline of their Jeans.

They used to make music just like "Talking and Scratching" back then, when brown people were welcome to fill any vacancy that was available on the Job market to lay the foundations of an Economy a nation could be built on. Instead of that,the USA are roundly hated worldwide.

This fine bastion of Democracy then proceeded to somehow elect the most inept, stoopid piece of shit that ever stalked the steps of the Capitol.....and thats saying something.

This FIFA peace medal winner and Rapist, then decided that a War backing up its equally genocidal  allies, the lovely Israel, would be a great Idea to solve all its problems.Especially when it comes to some million sheets of paper containing details implicating a certain President who literally shits his pants regularly,for real,in Human trafficking and child sex-abuse among other misdemeanors.

Along with its Rap-ist chums like P-Diddy,who sits in jail waiting for a friend to join him.....its coming soon.Even its own Supreme court has announced he has no immunity from prosecution whilst still in office. This guy is in Office!!!!?????

So if you wanna stay out of the new North American gulags,and listen to this fine early example of scratching...then follow the instructions below:

And lastly play these early Hip-Hop classics to remind oneself there was a time when people ❤ America. Now I have a Tea mug with USA=SHIT written on it.

...and don't forget....

DON'T MENTION THE EPSTEIN FILES.....I mentioned them once,but I think they could get away with it!....

...I Think I just heard ICE banging on my door demanding to check my internet history....i'll see you in prison,or Hell...which ever comes first.

Tracklist:A  Talking And Scratching (For The People) (Vocal)4:38
B  Talking And Scratching (For The People) (Instrumental) 4:25

DOWNLOAD Stop scratching your balls and get down HERE!

The Computer People Communicators – "Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic)" Electric Land Records 1982

 

The lifeless oceans of the pre-cambrian period, surrounding the one solitary super continent of Pangaea.Devoid of anything but insects,and simple plant-life, the seeds of something greater flew on the desert winds,which led to an early version of 'us'.Something even more basic than today and mamalian. Something that mis-evolved in to something quite terrifying, basic, and unevolved.....you know what this is,and I admit I promised to stop referring to it in these pages.....thats right.....The malodorous lesser spotted naked pernicious Trump-oid, which later split from an infected part of his orange ass and became a fully functional Baboon's ass.Which exists,and functions only too efficiently to this very day.Splattering its shite,poly-directionally left,right and Radical Left,and left again.

This very early Pangaeal Hip-Hop , by The Computer People Communicators,is a very early seed from a time before affordable drum machines, and germinated in the primordial ocean,spreading like a cancer in our souls, to form a modern Rap Cretaceous period where the reptiles started to take over, and sub-species like Jay Zee and Kanye West started to breed like Rappers.I hate to say anything is entirely  utter shite (well, I don't actually), but the preceding 30 years of this nonsense truly Is indeed utter shite.Somehow they survived the Asteroid Inpact in the Gulf of America (???), a lost part of Hip-Hop Pangea, populated by compulsively Lying Orang-utans, and misogynistic Rap-Dodo's,where during the mating season, have sub-intelligent large arsed females throwing themselves at their feet to receive the sacred seed for another generation of fools to be born and ignored.

We'll ignore Rap's Jurassic period,as ,unlike Steven Spielberg,we realised that most of the creatures who inhabit that CGI hell, 95% of them were infact from the preceding Cretaceous period.Therefore the movie version should have been called, more accurately, "Cretaceous Park",and not, Jurassic Park...those silly billies.

Anyway, this early computerized Funky seed, spread by someone called Gene "Poo Poo" Anderson (I'm not making this up!),is good stuff, but has an awful lot to answer for! Especially as a precursor to the fetid scent of the Poo-Poo that was to come.

Tracklist:

Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic) (Part 1) 8:45
Hey Party People (The Computer Funk Classic) (Part 2) 5:24

DOWNLOAD this analogical comparison between Hip-hop and other beasts HERE!

Just-Ice – "Back To The Old School"(Fresh Records – LPRE-1) 1986

Okay!I like the cover of this misogynistic Old School Gangsta shiesterwerk. ......that just about sums it all up. You know what its gonna sound like,and I'm straining at the leash to make any quips concerning the word "ICE". That being the American acronym  equivalent of Ernst Rhome's storm-trooper Brownshirts.

If you're watching this from the Future please don't make me explain,....we're actually living in this nightmare, do your facebook research, USA 2026.

However like Ernst Rhome,,the current bright orange object we call president Donald J. Trump, likes it up the arse apparently...according to his sister that is......but lying doesn't run in the family does it? (Uhum)

His child abuse years(fucked mercilessly by his dad),certainly brought out the rapist in him,and he definitively has the wit of a Rapist...this is because he IS a Rapist,..as proven in a court of law.

Please Future person,it may seem hilarious to you, but it ain't funny,I'll tell ya that!

Yup, an unstable malignant narcissist  controls the most powerful army in the world,and has his stumpy pink fingers drooling on the Nuclear button....which, if pressed,will result in the loss of any one here from the future before they were born!.....Yeah Who's laughing Now!?..huh?...in the meantime,pop back into the past and put a fiver on Leicester City to win the Premier League Title in 2016, at 5000/1 which was larger odds than the existence of the Loch Ness Monster!...i'll be around to collect tomorrow.

Tracklist:

1 Cold Gettin' Dumb 4:30
2 Love Story 4:52
3 Back To The Old School 4:48
4 Latoya 4:10
5 Gangster Of Hip Hop 5:06
6 Little Bad Johnny 3:28
7 Put The Record Back On 3:51
8 Turbo Charged 5:08

9 Cold Gettin' Dumb II 6:33 10 That Girl Is A Slut 5:16

DOWNLOAD and get back to school HERE!