Pip Proud – "Adreneline & Richard" (International Polydor Production – LPHM-108) 1968

Resembling,as well as sounding like the mythical fourth Shagg. Proud Australian Philip Proud's debut album from the hippie era has very little to do with Adrenaline,even though it appears in the title; but has more in common with an anesthetic. Yeah, he can't sing,has a speech impediment,wears glasses like the bottom of a couple of beer glasses,can't play a guitar or write songs!?...not a good start for a wannabe hippie troubadour who seems to walk around in a bin-bag?.....but gimmie that anyday rather than the bore fest forced on us by any of those trendy 'singer-songwriters' from Laurel Canyon back in '68 (Judee Sill excepted by the way)......excuse me ,a bit of sick just came up into my mouth.

Whereas, Pip could have come from Stan Laurel Canyon, if it ever existed? For the hundreds, if not thousands of acoustic waving folk singer wannabees from the sixties and seventies who were just plain Awful!....not all of them were funny though,so this is why Pip stands out from the crowd of long-hair earnest strummers so much...he's fucking hilarious.Unintentionally so,but funny enough for us to still listen to this terrible dross to this day. His name will be name-dropped at hipster coffee shop get togethers,where they will stroke their beards in appreciation,....and that's just the women.He's played at Outsider Art appreciation evenings alongside the mighty Shaggs,Wesley Willis,The legendary Stardust Cowboy,and the other outsider legends that make our failed lives seem like a raging sucess. Yeah, we need these losers to make ourselves feel good, but it isn't your lost album we're playing is it? Your poetry doesn't get read out at Hipster beat soirée's does it? Oh No!...So who's the loser now eh?

Philip may no longer exist upon this mortal coil (RIP) to unveil his latest work,and he did continue making his idea of what music is well into the new millenium;but he lives on in the form of black plastic disc's,binary codes,and magnetic waves,which is a remarkable turn around for something that we all should acknowledge is patently complete rubbish as modern standards dictate......but, Fuck that shit and Fuck their modern standards.

It's funny too.

But not as funny as Mike Leigh's "Nuts In May",which includes Pip's female equivalent, Candice-Marie,who has an uncannily similar voice. 

Tracklist:

A1 Adreneline And Richard 2:25
A2 The Tennis Player 3:38
A3 There Was Melancholy 3:58
A4 Latin Version 2:12
A5 Into Elizabeth's Eyes (To Mother Whilst Dying) 4:32
A6 Sounds 3:40
B1 Purple Boy Gang 2:20
B2 De Da De Dum 2:34
B3 When Each Descends 2:18
B4 We Crossed The Atlantic 3:07
B5 The Old Servant 6:32
B6 Laughter And Laughter 2:21

DOWNLOAD the opposite of adrenaline HERE!

Pip Proud – "A Bird In The Engine" (International Polydor Production – LPHM-109) 1969

When the land mass of Australia broke away from Pangaea a billion years ago, the isolation led directly to the evolution of the marsupial . Then in the sixties,the cultural isolation directly led to the evolution of Pip Proud. A self-described singer-songwriter, poet, novelist and dramatist....when in fact he was shite at all of these vocations.....it's another way of saying I'm a lazy fucker and I ain't gonna work.No one can prove that a poet isn't working on his next 'poem',even when it looks like lying down. Not that this lisping tone deaf myopic missing Shaggs member was employable in any way.The fool who signed him to Polydor could not have even met Pip,or heard him in action until it was too late. To think that he could have been Australia's answer to Donovan,was a miscalculation of decca-esque proportions!? Whoever it was must have been sacked.Its the opposite to the prat who rejected the Beatles for Decca......having said that I would have done the same if i'd heard Love Me Do....but certainly signed Pip Proud,looking from a twenty first century perspective therein.

Pip's output, is often compared with Syd Barratt's solo work,of which Philip denied all knowledge;but this stuff makes Syd sound like more like Wagner rather than the acid casualty we know he was.Worse news for Pip is that Syd Obviously had a talent for songwriting,something no-one could say about Pip. 

Pip's song's are constructed along the same lines as The Shaggs first album,as if he had been locked away from any music in a cupboard for 18 years,then let out to make his impression of what music should like to someone who has never heard any.It's no coincidence that he even looks like the mythical fourth Shagg.There are no verses or chorus's as such,with the droning guitar chord sequences strummed in a barely conscious stream of hazy unconsciousness kind of way. His pronounced lisp is not only charming,but adds that seed of a doubt whether this is all just another of those 21st century fake band Jokes,recorded by a comedian taking the piss out of Sixties Folkies, and record collecting saddo's.....it's hilarious either way....especially if it turns out that pip Proud was actually Real!?

Something he does actually share with Syd Barratt, is his wavering time keeping,exacerbated by his glaring tone deafness.

Of course there are those who hail this work as the product of undiscovered genius,and take it deadly seriously.....Maybe I'm the idiot who got it wrong? I sincerely doubt it, but whatever is the truth of the matter, this record is fucking hilarious.

Pip does actually sound uncannily like Candice-Marie from BBC drama classic "Nuts In May" by Mike Leigh (1976)

Check out Candice's protest song(click the embedded video) that plays over the end credits. If you haven't seen it,you have never lived...you can right this dreadful wrong by watching the whole thing by clicking HERE!

Tracklist:

A1 Marie
A2 Hey Sue
A3 A Fraying Space
A4 She Says To Me
A5 She Dwindles Her Fingers
A6 A Bird In The Engine
B1 Eagle-Wise
B2 French Girls
B3 Vida
B4 There Is No Rest
B5 Nancy
B6 Lover, Lover

DOWNLOAD a cuckoo flying over the engine HERE!

Sound Ceremony – "Sound Ceremony" (Celestial Sound Production – RWG2) 1979

Like 100% of this end of the century post millennium madness crop of 'Outsider' musicians,also known as,rather less pretentiously, as Crap musicians;but also Increasingly, as Crap Musicians who now think they are newly discovered genius's.They mistakenly,as do a lot of Outsider fans also,think that this upsurge in interest means there is some artistic content within this wildly amusing rubbish. Those types who don't know the difference between Laughing WITH you,and Laughing AT you!

I mean just look at this guy! As it's his own self-release,probably on a self-release from the Funny Farm too,as in...He escaped;but he must have chosen these cover shots himself, thinking that he looks good? It's that fashionable 'I'm On Heavy Medication chic' again.The front cover shot is more in the realm of a lost, undiscovered third world psych album from the Muslim half of Kashmir in 1992 rather than a UK post-punk classic.

This, his second record (1st one here!) is that truly brain-damaged winner that we've all trawled through unsorted vinyl dumps to find.The record surely fits somewhere into the 'right place wrong time' category in the UK punk explosion of the day, but it also looks back to the mid-sixties rock that Ron cut his rotting teeth on and ahead to some sort of maniac future form of entertainment that perhaps had not been invented yet.....now it has,namely Outsider Rock/Punk. Ganderton's mildly "out of it" stream of consciousness lyrics show a clear lack of self-censorship or political correctness, but that's really one of the albums strongest assets. He has created this character for himself as a huge rock star and sex symbol, and who are we to deny his claims,apart from the fact that he is clearly neither? The band chugs along amiably as Ganderton covers such terrain as his beating heart (it's made of rock), his distaste for education (he'd prefer to teach a lesson in bed,he obviously wasn't getting any) and his electric brain (which happens to be insane). If you've never heard a singer do a count-off all the way up to seventeen, then now is your big chance! Features what is perhaps the greatest anti-cigarette song of all time,or wot? 

He comes across as a bit of a dysfunctional,but charming arsehole,if that's possible?.....on meds....Who says there's no place for drugs in music? 

When you have people like Wrong Ron and his unsound ceremony to do it for you,there certainly is.Learning from others mistakes is certainly safer than making them yourself.....unless you're really stupid,like most Pop car crashes are and were.

Ron is now the celebrity that he craved to be,and can be seen hanging around record shops in Vancouver waiting to be recognized, marker pen at the ready and a armful of his re-released work from 1978-81. He deserves to make a living,unlike most other Rock Stars.Hell! I even bought one!

Tracklist:

1 Rock Work
2 Virgins Do
3 School
4 Rock Heart
5 Sorry
6 Our Song
7 Dance
8 Bet On Life To Win
9 Tobacco Man
10 Electric Brain
11 Motor
12 Sound After Death
13 Invitation To The Bizarre

DOWNLOAD and get a lesson,hopefully not in bed,from Ron HERE!

Ron Warren Ganderton / Sound Ceremony – "Guitar Star" (Celestial Sound Production – RWG 1001) 1978

Praised by private-press hunters, esoteric appreciators and “out of time” searchers alike.Canadian and legend in his own extended lunchtime,Ron Ganderton,and his output hold echoes of monotone  proto-punks such as Jonathan Richman and Lou Reed,but without the good looks(*?), or the charisma,...or even the questionable talent of those aforementioned fellow travelers....*check out that boatrace# girls!? 

Similarities to outsider cult acts such as the extremely nutty but clued up Armand Schaubroeck and the less nutty but completely clueless Kenneth Higney,are as inescapable as they are wrong.....Ron.

Ron was fortunate enough to have the Subway Sect's drummer Bob Ward, and later, Martin Chambers of the excellent Vacants,and the later,but lesser combo, The Pretenders; to back his Velvets out-take tunes and keep him in roughly four four time.....which is a talent very few outsider Rockers seem to embrace.Ah bless him, he's trying his best,but he's missed the wave again....several times by the look of him.

The usual tactics are involved in the new wave cred myth building stakes,as the punk before punk hands shoot up in the room, claiming that this record was made in 1974,so Ron Warren Ganderton must have invented Punk,right?...along with Death(the group), The Modern Lovers,Stooges, and many other proto-punk pretenders.The "I was a Mod before you was a Mod" syndrome. Ron was never a Mod,and he's obviously tried to jump on any bandwagon that was going before the wheels fall off; but Ron's Wheels fell off long ago by the sound of it,and he also fell off the noo wave bandwagon too.Especially when you hear his second, and truly dysfunctional outsider classic album,simply called, just, "Sound Ceremony".

Maybe Lou reed ripped him off and we've all got it so very wrong.....Ron?.....somehow I doubt it!

NB;

# Boatrace is cockney for Face

&

Get the even nuttier second album HERE!

Tracklist:

A1 Guitar Star
A2 Letter To Moma
A3 Concrete Rodeo
A4 Miss Vickey
A5 Come The Change
A6 Feelings
A7 Love
B1 Blues Miss Your Mind
B2 Fool
B3 Lonely Road
B4 Booze, Drugs And Sound
B5 The Lady And Me
B6 The Devil
B7 I'll Go To Hell For Your Love My Lady

DOWNLOAD wrong ron ganderton HERE!

Kenneth Higney – "Attic Demonstration" (Kebrutney Records – KBH 516) 1976

 

In these mixed up muddled up ol'days, every fucker thinks they are undiscovered genius's just waiting for that chance to unleash their greatness upon an unsuspecting public. The trouble with that assumption is that the public all think they are undiscovered genius's as well. Its like that Monty Python sketch where everyone is Superman,except for one special superman who,when needed, becomes  Bicycle Repair man,racing to the assistance of any unfortunate super hero with a flat tyre.

In Kenneth Higney's day,the world was full of Bicycle Repair Men when it came to music. It was impossible to be Emerson,Lake and Palmer,unless you had a million quid to splash on walls of modular moog's,stainless steel drum kits,and three articulated lorries to spoil the public with your undeniable skills.

Nowadays every fucker has a home studio,and has an album out,or is in a fucking band all playing shiny new instruments. 

Then,oh shit!, "the Great British Mistake", Punk Rock, broke and the DIY dream started. Great! We can all be pop stars now.What a fucking well-intentioned fuck up that turned out to be?

If I hear another harsh fucking noise project by wee willy and his hip granny i'm gonna burn my Beatles records...again! What's the point in making music at all if everyone's doing it.....(h)'elp!Come Back ELP, all is forgiven....the problem with that damn fine Idea is that only 'P' is still with us,having lost 'E' and 'L' to suicide and cancer some years hence.

In 1976 Ken,a true Rock Star's name if ever there wasn't one(?), self-released this LP in the hopes of garnering attention for his tenuous songwriting skills.Slightly Ironic because he obviously didn’t have any.He,and group, did,however, have the envious ability of naturally owning a very wobbly understanding of syncopation,harmony,and/or melody.Rhythm appears to be a foreign country for Ken and his chums it seems.

Yes,by accepted standards,old and new, this album is total crap,but, healthy crap floats to the surface of a cesspit that is the charmless modern machine played poop which trains the brains of our charmless children.Give us something less desperate, honest, with imperfect perfection like a diamond on a turd,or a sapphire strewn necklace around Adele's newly slim neck. 

In short,Stop fucking singing,put your ramones T-shirt in the trash, and go get an office job,or an HGV licence. That's the new Punk Rock, telling your hip black leather wearing tattooed Mom and Pop that you're gonna get a Job. That should fuck 'em up,the lazy climate destroying cunts that they are.

I discovered this short,stupid, but succinct review on Discogs:

 

"This is probably the shittiest record I have ever listened to, singing and songwriting are absolutely rubbish."

Er..yeah....but!?...Some people just don't get it do they?

Tracklist:

1 Night Rider 2:34
2 Children Of Sound 3:18
3 Rock Star 5:49
4 Can't Love That Woman 3:38
5 Look At The River 3:40
6 Quietly Leave Me 2:41
7 Let Us Pray 5:11
8 I'll Cry Tomorrow 3:16
9 No Heavy Trucking 2:18
10 Funky Kinky 5:35
11 I Wanna Be The King 3:04

DOWNLOAD the rock star in everyone's attic HERE!

Jandek – "Ann Arbor Saturday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0846) 2021

I've mentioned a much shared disapproval of the Fretless Bass as used and abused in the popular medium of music before. Even excluding Mick Karn's work with Japan and Dali's Car from the bracket of disapproval. Well, Mick, may their God rest his soul,is no longer alone in fretless bass limbo.For he is to be joined by none other than Sterling "Jandek" Smith,who wields said instrument like a harbinger of impending doom.Like the approaching helicopter blades as replaced by huge rotating crusaders broadsword's, slicing through the trees below radar in a densely foggy Vietnam,as if beheading Saracens.Piloted by drugged up Scientologists eager to deliver their cargo of Napalm on a school full of children whose parents didn't pass the eugenics test.This time they ain't playing 'March of the Valkyries:It's "Ready For the House" at full volume...which if used as a real weapon in the real Vietnam war, could have caused Ho-Chi Minh to throw himself out of the nearest window.Ushering in a much less pointless period of peace and love.Where Communism worked out just fine, and the Americans kept their fucking noses out of everyone's right to self-determination.

As the choppers,hip slang for not only Helicopters but also for the male member where I come from, slice their way through the solid air of this gloomy Jandekian rumble,we start hearing such complimentary incisions as an outsider Mile Davis,blowing his horn as if warning passing vessels of the rocky outcrops hiding beneath the black waters of these compact discs.What's more we are treated to a rare appearance of the Electric Harpsichord outside of the 1960's British television soundtrack.

Fear not, we do get the standard Jandek howl and moan, backed up quite ably by a young lady victim on back-up moaning.

Heavy stuff,thankfully lacking any pretentious aspirations towards the outsider classical chamber music that The Representative is often enamored with.

One things for sure, don't play this when you're feeling suicidal.You may use an ill advised method to stop that noise in your head.

This was recorded somewhere in Ann Arbor May 17th 2008...isn't that where that Who copyist Glam band The Stooges came from? I think they reformed round about the time of this Jandek gig to make that awful 'come-back' album.....not a popular point of view,but, I do wish Iggy Pop would just kindly go-away....or at least get his male menopause hair cut off.

Tracklist:

1 Rubbish In The Alley 16:56
2 The Trenches 12:12
3 Why 9:51
4 Loud Silence 12:24
5 The Cowards' Creation 9:04
6 Being A Body 10:52
7 The Blue Spell 7:41
8 The Conflagration 12:15
9 Quicksand 14:44
10 Rapture Of Now 15:27

DOWNLOAD this alternative vietnam HERE!

Jandek – "Austin Saturday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0844) 2021

It's common knowledge that anyone with any brains dislikes Country and Western music,and the god-fearing morons who listen to it. So to hear Jandek having a go at making his own Country (or shit..) stained improvisations in Texas , in a Presbyterian church no-less,likely in front of  a church full of liberal arty-farty-artphags instead of fully armed redneck homophobic racist misogynist anti-semites; does indeed entice one's reluctant toe-tappin'feet to move in that once taboo direction.

The only instrument I can think of worse than a fretless bass has to be the pedal steel guitar,which makes the sound that Tom's whiskers make when they are stretched to the limit in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.Good for sound effects, shit for music is what i'm a gettin' at boy. In this instance played by top Pedal Steel guitar improviser Susan Alcorn, who seemed to have a one woman goal to make this instrument sound less shit. The Female Mick Karn?.....oh come on Dali's Car made a great album,and there's Tin Drum too!!!?

If Country and Western sounded like the abstract version that Sterling and college trained bluegrass buddies put forward on the Rep's fourth appearance in Austin, then all would be different. The cowboys will have killed themselves,we'd all be naturally cleverer as a consequence,also know as herd intelligence,as opposed to the herd stupidity we have today.There would be no republicans in the Whitehouse,including the new Democrat Republicans like Biden, and we'd all like the sound of the Pedal Steel Guitar.

What's not to like?

A word of caution, if you are one of those types who give truly terrible abominations in music a chance,and i'm complimenting them by considering these things as music;like musical evils, such as all Hip Hop,Lovers Rock,K-Pop,and country;then I warn you country apologists to approach with extreme caution this cockamamie Jandek and Western alloy,for it be not as palatable for yee as a bowl of Grits sautéd  in last christmas's Deep Fried Turkey entrails' ultra saturated fat......and two hard boiled eggs.....make that three hard boiled eggs.

Tracklist:

1 Lifting Longnecks 8:08
2 Turquoise And Silver 8:25
3 Your Letter 8:22
4 Are You Ready 6:53
5 It Ain't Me 7:25
6 Do It Again 7:08
7 She Drank Wine 6:06
8 Play With Money 7:16
9 Baton Rouge 7:34
10 Better Later 8:14

DOWNLOAD from the texan oasis of culture called Austin HERE!

Jandek – "Columbus Friday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0850) 2021

As we rapidly approach Jandek's 76th birthday, his release schedule seems to be increasing;and somehow, they all sound very different;although there are those who would say that they all sound the same. Basically, Jandek sounds like whoever he's playing with these days,unlike 20th century Jandek,which sounded like Jandek,only Jandek and absolutely no-one else.

This one, has some experienced Jazzers, and experimental composers in tow to back up the Corwood rep's doomy synth drones and moaning poetry, for another 90 minutes of living purgatory spread over two CD's.

This is he in a Jandek does an american Throbbing Gristle tribute mode; he even gets a bit saucy at one point in 'Any man';which seems to describe the kind of stuff Sterling allegedly gets up to in his spare time when out of character....so I've heard on the outsider music grapevine,which admittedly produces very withered fruit.

If by some inexplicable oversight, you don't know what Jandek sounds like,I would recommend delving into his vast back-catalogue at random,by choosing one album from 1978-2000,and another from his vast 21st century array of live recordings.....That's what he sounds like, and it should empty a room or upset someone within 30 seconds of the first track,or you've picked the wrong one.

I Played Columbus Friday in its entirety whilst i worked at my calling to make silly mice out of junk for the world to be amused by.The result of this exposure to Jandek,was a complaint from a customer whom could one day come to define the neo-word 'Snowflake';upon opening the package she burst into to tears allegedly, and said that she has never felt more insulted!It looked ok to me when i made it,so maybe it was the malevolent influence of the Jandek wot dunnit? The misery that swirled around my workshop like a malignant fog evading the fume extractor and danced a waltz with my depression.This somehow impregnated the form of the metal mouse and created a grim vision of the futility of existence that only severe religious brainwashing can camouflage. It was either the black magic of Sterling Smith's gloomy meanderings or the fact that the mouse was flipping the bird in the world's general direction that was to blame?......I thought it was very mildly amusing anyway?.....as is, I have to say,a Jandek record. Some people should just lighten up a bit and embrace the awful truth with a jaunty laugh.....except The Corwood Representative of course.I wouldn't know how to cope with a Jandek comedy record,but I'm sure he's thinking of doing one soon,or saving it for one of the early flood of posthumous releases he almost certainly has planned. 

Tracklist:

1-1 Unfolding 10:48
1-2 No Kisses 8:11
1-3 Any Man 10:05
1-4 Flying 8:18
1-5 King And Tiny Men 9:30
2-1 Emerging From Water 9:36
2-2 So Sudden 10:29
2-3 Inside Out 12:33
2-4 Your Look 11:25

DOWNLOAD the columbus of outsider music HERE!

Jandek – "Philadelphia Saturday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0845) 2021

Whip out a clarinet, harp, bassoon, and Grand Piano, and you get automatically branded Classical,or,even better, Neo-Classical.But Jandek's chamber-pot Quartet does stuff most classically trained musicians cannot do,ever; which is improvise. Bassoon solo anyone?

As for the Classics,the moment the needle,lazer,or tape heads hits your pre-recorded media of preference there's a feeling in ones' brain which says, loudly and clearly, "I'm Bored".....yeah, like the Iggy Pop song, but even Iggy Pop bangs on about how he listens to Classical music a lot. There's something of the Nigel Tufnel's "Lick My Love Pump" about any pop star boasting of their higher intellect by proxy,due to the fact that they allegedly listen to, or, are influenced by Classical composition. Like Nigel says in Spinal Tap, "Like, I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach right?" ; as James Osterberg says, and many other more pompous pop Twats have ventured both before The Pop,and after The Pop.

The equally pretentious, and ultimately meaningless soundbite that gets bandied about the Rock'n'Pop world a lot also, is "Classically Trained".Which usually means they've had a few piano lesson when they were a kid, or scraped a violin at school for a couple of years before they grew some pubes and learned that a G major get girls,...or....boys....or....well, you know what I'm getting at...whatever you self-identify as!.....to notice them.Guitars get you laid, is what they say I'm told; however they usually get me laid out,or kicked out. 

The "Classically Trained" Mick Ronson wanted to play the cello,but he opted for Electric guitar instead.I would have paid to see Mick gurning his cello parts during Vivaldi's Four Seasons;and no-one gurned better than Mick Ronson during a guitar solo....no-one!

I can safely say,without reservations, that Sterling, "The Corwood  Representative",Smith, is NOT Classically Trained. In fact, I have doubts he's ever had even a guitar lesson,despite the fact that he does manage to play a few chords,albeit accidentally, from time to time.

Without Sterling's dulcet tones,one would be confident in the assumption that this two-hour long spectacular was an Arts Council sponsored self-indulgent sub-classical composition especially arranged for the world's worst poet to moan and whine over.

Sitting watching and listening to this for two hours,trapped in the middle of a row of pretentious trendies sounds is not really my idea of a fun night out.However I do love the long silences between the end of the piece and the audience applauding, after first looking to see if anyone else is clapping.

However,I am pretentious,or Portentous enough to enjoy this while I'm washing the dishes......and i'm gonna tell you about it too!

Did I ever tell you I'm greatly influenced by Beethoven?....that's right, I'm Deaf...but Deaf-initely (ha ha) not German! I wouldn't wish that burden upon anyone,except maybe, The German's?

Tracklist:

1-1 Who Am I 15:31
1-2 I Painted Myself 9:07
1-3 The Dust 23:02
1-4 No Fear 7:48
1-5 The Walk That I Took 10:11
2-1 Dusky Blue 14:00
2-2 Statue In The Park 7:43
2-3 The Carnage 4:56
2-4 I Stand On My Ground 5:49
2-5 Teardrops From The Trees 11:43
2-6 The World 9:22

DOWNLOAD even if you're german HERE!

Jandek – "London Monday" (Corwood Industries – CORWOOD 0848) 2021

 At the risk of being murdered by psychotic Jandek worshiping nutjobs for stealing their god's music without recompense to the 'Artist',or even his Representative therein, it's time for our much anticipated regular annual 'Catch-up with Jandek' feature.Starting with yet another London appearance,this time on Monday,June 16th, 2008, at Café Oto again,and NOT in the generic modern Church pictured on the cover.

Although,Churches,specifically Christian churches, could do with Jandek's help in getting some bodies,preferably living ones, through their doors? 

It's a sad indictment on the state of the Christian religion in the more secular areas of the planet...ie the intelligent bits....when Jandek can get a far more numerous congregation than God can.However, it seems that Jandek is indeed a God to a small selection of mental cases throughout modern secular society.

As some smart-arsed wag once said, 'if there wasn't a God there would exist a need to create one' and in Jandek's Case ,through focused, dogged, perseverance, Sterling Richard Smith, aka The Corwood Representative, has created a persona, or rather,lack of persona, crazy enough to have filled that God shaped hole in their misfiring brains.And why not? The jumbled mess that is his recording career, makes by far more sense than any of the chief monotheistic holy books. It's a one size fits all religion that can fit on one side of blank A5 printing paper,consisting of just a pair of brackets encapsulating a short amount of underlined nothing for you to fill in the big blank yourself.(_________),This is Jandekism in action.

Jandek, or God's representative on Earth,or even just God, does exactly the same with his music,or rather the music of whoever he's 'collaborating' with,which in this case consisted of a couple of London dwelling improvising trendies,over which The Representative does his 'stuff'.Seemingly channeled from some nebulous musical dustbin floating around the Aether,within which Jandek is probably thee cosmological constant that Einstein was mistakenly looking for during his entire career.

Another method of getting more of god's likenesses in a church,other than getting Jandek to do a gig there, is the latest camping craze in the Uk called 'Champing',which consists of holiday makers paying the holy man to stay for a number of nights camping inside his church.

What their deity has to say about this one could only imagine.Moses would have both the Vicar and the family of Holidaymakers stoned to death, and probably most of the local population of adulterers,graven image makers and Canaanites to boot.The oldest excuse for genocide..."Kill them all. The Lord knows those that are his own",or in Latin,"Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius." (accredited to some bloke/murderer at the siege of Beziers ,1209, during the Cathar revolt)....what that has to do with Jandek I dunno,but the degree of separation in the modern world and throughout time has now shrunk infinitesimally enough for a crazed Jandek fan to actually kill a stranger for sins against his God.....so watch yer backs.

Tracklist:

1 Awakening 13:57
2 Realization 13:39
3 Cognition 11:30
4 Willingness 12:47
5 Emergence 11:30

DOWNLOAD your new god HERE!

Church Police – "Church Police" (Stomach Ache Records – SA-71) 1996 / 1982

This outstandingly awful disintegration of the Rock'n'Roll idiom scores highly on the shit-fi scale.Even the remastering and pressing are abysmal insults to the art of melody. This could clear a toilet of Kasabian fans faster that a North Korean supermarket loses it's stock of beef on its annual delivery day.

Yeah its like a better,less rock,version of Flipper,but there ain't enough bands like this. Slogans such as "No records released in their lifetime", is as good a sonic aphrodisiac as "File under Easy Listening" or "Not Available In Shops"......well maybe not, but its always a go to statement for most things on the outskirts of the noisy venn diagram of  Rock'n'Pop .This seven incher, does indeed boast one of the best disrespectful-respectful Black Sabbath covers this side of The Prostate Gland Massagers version of Paranoid,which is high recommendation in itself.

Only in the future can some musics be fully understood; but if you understand this I recommend you turn yourself in to the nearest loony toon room on the moon as soon as is acceptably possible. See you there.

Tracklist:

1 Jarhead
2 Bag Of Lumps
3 Robots
4 The Red Glow
5 Killing Myself To Live

DOWNLOAD the church police in this age of the brain police HERE! 

No Trend – "Too Many Humans" (No Trend Records – NT 002) 1983

One of the best albums ever made is my humble assessment of this misanthropic ,environmentally aware dissection of our self-made prison. Well its in my top ten anyway...whether you like it as much or not at all, in classic No Trend style I'll say go and kill yourself then think again.

If one complains that there's too many humans on this overcrowded,and incidentally, very isolated spinning Rock (No Planet B reference), then you're accused of being part of the grand conspiracy,headed by Bill Gates.

"They are trying To Kill Us All" cry the internet informed paranoiac.

Simply, like the No Trend lyricist, Gates is just stating the bleeding obvious...THERE ARE TOO MANY HUMANS!...duh. All it will take to finish us all off is for every Chinese person, and there are a billion of the fuckers,to buy a Fridge then we are way beyond the tipping point,and there is NO going back. The result of which is complete and utter annihilation;but as capitalism doesn't have a reverse gear,we're fucked.

And I'm No better.....i got a fridge, i run a diesel car, I'm a part time vegetarian,but i don't buy stuff, except second hand records of course,and i recycle, even though I know it's all shipped to a holding facility in Hong Kong before it goes to landfill in Mongolia;it's actually more carbon friendly to not recycle....but it makes me feel like i'm doing something to help. Then when i'm starving to death in ten years time,i can die without too much guilt.

Global CO2 emissions went up by 16% this year by the way....and we are supposed to be doing something about it!? Let's face it, we breed like rats, but rats will inherit the earth, mainly because they live within their means and don't need all that plastic crap we salivate over....like over priced vinyl for example.

Tracklist:

Side No
A1 Family Style
A2 Blow Dry
A3 Reality Breakdown
A4 Kiss Ass To Your Peer Group
A5 Fashion Tips For The 80's
A6 Do As You're Told
Side Trend
B1 Too Many Humans
B2 For The Fun Of It All
B3 Mindless Little Insects
B4 Happiness Is ...

DOWNLOAD too many records HERE!

No Trend – "Teen Love" (No Trend Records – NT 003) 1984

 

There comes a time in each man's life when he encounters a group so good on all levels that they are beyond critical praise.Even rarer is one that doesn't 'suck' after their first single encounter with fame in their own lunchtimes. The only other example I can only think of  is The Fall,who,even when they were in their not so good period, still ticked all the boxes. No Trend could never match the longevity and consistency of  Mark Edwards tunesmiths,but for a moment, while the USA were becoming either Sonic Youth or The Dead Kennedys,they managed to make nihilistic musical statements on the unpopular subject of the sheer torture of the human condition on a doomed planet. Don't you know we're all gonna die and there's nothing you can do about it? There's No trend and there's No solution.

Well maybe they ain't that Good in fact,things get a bit moody from the 'difficult second album' going onward,but they were always a different band,with almost as meny ex-members as The Fall.However the first album and single were just as perfect as the Martin Bramah Fall epoch.

Of course I'm talking bollocks,but apparently there's an existential crisis going on?

If we were to apply a 'Trend' to No Trend's american rock at the end of the universe it would no doubt be "Post-Hardcore". It's american Rock as seen through  an occluded lens in a bucket full of an alcoholic's blood infused piss.You can clean your windows with it and stare through the stains to watch your neighbours drive their SUV a hundred yards to the mall to buy more stuff.

We're pushing our way to the front of the moshpit in the same way one could imagine a disabled Jew pushing in to be first in the gas chamber......(and before any Anti-vaxx,Trump voter,conspiracy nut flat-earther raises issues about Gas Chambers and climate change stats...firstly fuck off, and secondly, I'm just using Gas Chambers as an analogy for climate change inaction 'tis all)....but the Gas Chamber's already full and we're all singing No Trend's "Too Many Humans" (from their first LP) as a bunch of drugged up rednecks close the air-tight door......then warm,fluoridated but mildly radioactive water gushes out of the shower heads and we drown.At least your corpse will have strong teeth.

Altogether now.....

"Too many fucking humans, 

You breed like rats,

And you're no fucking better! (Repeat until end)"

Hmmmm,maybe they should have said 'and WE'RE no fucking better'...a tad less superior and accusatory in tone than the finger pointing 'You're' That they opted for in the extensive lyrics published above?No-one is innocent.

Tracklist:

A1 Mass Sterilization Caused By Venereal Disease
A2 Cancer
A3 Die
B1 Teen Love
B2 Let's Go Crazy

DOWNLOAD or be too late for the no trend HERE!

The Fuckin' Flyin' A-Heads – "Swiss Cheese Back / Watching T.V." (Otaro Records – Catch-2) 1980

If you like your Rock'n'Fuckin'Roll disintegrating into a mass of crumbling notes of indistinguishable noise then you'll probably dig the sole record released in my lifetime by The Fuckin' Flyin' A-Heads!

They do one of theee classic songs,tunes,mess's, on the subject of watching television ever made.

My skewed interpretation of this trashcan symphony is that It tackles the tetchy subject of why the joys and pitfalls of Television (the object, not the trendy 'we invented punk and you didn't' band) are dismissed by condescending book readers,who seem to think that sitting in a comfy chair reading the scribblings of more intelligent people is actually doing something,and proves that they are obviously of superior intelligence than anyone who doesn't indulge in the written word? Some of us have jobs!

What's your hobby?....."I read a lot",they say,bathing in the light of cleverer people who actually did do something creative by writing this book,but as if they'd actually contributed something positive to the world rather than just filling up some spare time.

Me?....I watch Television, so i must be a lazy good fer nuthin' shit kicker, wasting my valuable time on Earth. Whereas, if i spent a month reading Tolstoy's war and peace i would have be doing what precisely?...Yep, sitting down,filling the void waiting to die,whereas at least watching TV is a social activity,yet achieves exactly the same nothing as the pastime these pretentious couch potatoes deem to be a superior form of time wasting to almost everything.

Informative,or thought provoking philosophical books, are of course excepted, whereas Novels,aka Stories, are around the same level as looking at an abstract impressionist painting for half an hour, or watching Tarkovsky's Solaris on DVD of an afternoon when you should be doing something more worthwhile. Listening to music however can always be done whilst one is doing something else;that includes, something creative, or vacuuming the carpet,among other things.

Punk Rock had an unhealthy obsession with TV,also. Slagging off TV Viewers, hinting that they should be getting out and doing something creative like...er....having Fun,and playing three chord dirges? No-one ever made any songs,or dirges, about suburban kids wasting creative time by reading John Paul Satre's "The Age Of Reason",or ruminate on Existentialism, instead of forming a crap band like The Fuckin' Flyin' A-Heads!

Listening to this I can't imagine any of this group have ever read anything more literary than a marvel comic.... once. Then again, being seen with a weighty tome in one's hand wasn't something that would have gone down well with your dumb-assed rock'n'roll image,leading to a severe piss-taking by yer mates.

There's a classic scene in the original mockumentary from the Comic Strip presents... series on channel 4 (1983), which you could have missed because you were too 'busy' reading "Gulag Archipelago". ....."The Bad News Tour"  at about 20:06 on this YouTube clip)..the late Rik Mayall, as Colin, the posh bass player in a terrible sub-Heavy Metal band (Bad News) is caught on the phone to his mum reeling off a list of library books to take back to the library.Noticing he was on camera,Colin changes from very non-metal subjects such as Blair's Origins Of Feudal Britain, to reeling off a list of cool bands to maintain his crumbling credibility.This was the UK's other Spinal Tap,as played by actual English persons....but made before yer actual Spinal Tap movie was released,and probably a far more accurate portrayal of life in a shit band in the UK.

Of course I'm only joking.Reading books is a good thing, just don't think it's anything superior to watching Television,surfing the internet, or wanking.That's all,'cus it's NOT!

Tracklist:

A Swiss Cheese Back (6:30)
B Watching T.V. (4:34)

DOWNLOAD to fill the holes in the swiss cheese we call life HERE!

The Groinoids – "Lost" (Necro-Tone – LA28/NT21) 2018/1986

When a band has a singer called Mongoloid I think you can guess what you're in for? A trailer park trash vocalist out of his brain on Duff Beer and angel-dust,backed by staggering repetitive punk played at 16 rpm.This is what you'd get if you used the teleport device from the Fly if you teleported Drunks with Guns ,The Melvins,and a housefly covered in dog shit, to the same location at the same time.Emerging out of the theatrical smoke arises four spitting and blood oozing pink masses of meat...but with guitars.

Tracklist:

A1 Mindfuck
A2 Dinkweed
A3 Up Your Bucket
A4 Ain’t
A5 Creepy Little Kid
A6 China Lula
B1 The Vault
B2 Flesh Island
B3 Turtle, Duck & Mule
B4 Crematorium
B5 Spread For The Devil
B6 Ratfink

DOWNLOAD and take the knee to the groinoids HERE!

The Sickness – "Complete Sickness (1979 -1981)"

The group that kinda beat Flipper to it,but were in the wrong town were The Sickness from Boston;a town more famous for its straight edge hardcore puritans,rather than the crawling slovenly gutter punk of The Sickness,and her relatives.

If that wasn't good enough, they then divided like bacteria to become Kilslug and The Groinoids.The Groinoids especially often finding themselves on Hardcore compilations surrounded by a bunch of Dischord wannabees,going on about womens rights and other very noble themes.

Minor Threat they ain't!?The Sickness undoubtedly got Drunk,took class B drugs,and celebrated the seedier side of life. They either meant it, or they were living art objects,reflecting their intended targets in noise. This stuff is for people who won't 'Take the Knee', and I'm not referring to our Eastern European chums....those ethnically pure swarthy mono-browed Hungarians actually mean it when they boo and make monkey noises at the Black English footballers. This music is about,but not by, those cro-magnon survivors who are a casually placed Nazi salute away from actually killing someone who isn't like them.They're just waiting for the next term in office for the horrific Mr Trump,or his endorsed clone;but this time it'll be no-more mr Nice Guy...he wants 'revenge'.

I hear the Donald's approval rating is now above Biden's,so get building that bunker now while you have the chance.....and take some Sickness,Groinoids and Kilslug down there with ya.

Tracklist:

Studio - Outlook Studios, Boston, MA. 1981
1.Corpsemonger
2.Regurgatation
3.Die
4.100 Watts Electrified
Studio - Radiobeat Studios, Boston, MA. 1981
5.Slob
6.Shut Up
Live - CBGB, New York City, NY. 1980
7.Louie Louie - Solid Drip Breakfast
Rehearsal - Boston, MA. 1979
8.Neopolitan Pizza
Live - The Underground, Boston, MA. 1980
9.Blame It On The Dog

DOWNLOAD something sick HERE!

Kilslug – "A Curse" (Stinky Bike – S.B. 002) 1982

Lyrics anyone?...Yes these guys can write it seems!?

Around '82 at the height of the vintage US Hardcore fad, there were some enlightened souls who decided to go in the opposite direction and slow it doooooown.The long shadow cast by Flipper and Swans had rightfully steered some away from the blind-alley of punk stuck in first gear with revs in the red zone and nowhere else to go. To continue the petrolhead analogies (I fucking hate cars!), these clued up slowcore groups took the rev's back down to idling speed,so much so that one could actually hear what they were singing about?

This slowed down Punk rock, nothing mid tempo here, now had choices rather than brainlessly driving into a wall.You could go the quiet introspective route of Low, or the arty direction of Swans, or get brutal like the beyond praiseworthy Drunks With Guns. The fantastically named Kilslug,obviously took the grungy punk route as popularized by Flipper between overdoses.The genre,whatever it was called, also included the magnificent Killdozer,but I think Kilslug got to use the word 'Kil' first I assume. 

Dirge-Punk,Sludge,Post Hardcore,whatever you want to call it,i guess,like Punk proper, led to less attractive Metal offshoots,like Doom Metal,and Sludge-metal,and virtually any prefix you can imagine with Metal added to it.......quite like a bit of Doom Metal personally,as long as the vocalist doesn't try to sound satanic,whatever that may be?....Deranged shouting at the back of the mix is the only requirement vocalistically (made up word)Thank you.

NB:

The long silence and tape disintegration on "Kill The Commies" one assumes is deliberate?....if it isn't it should be.

Tracklist:

A1 Snake Pit
A2 Vampire Fire
A3 Kill The Commies
B1 Elizabeth
B2 A Curse Will Fall

DOWNLOAD the curse of kilslug HERE!

Poison – "Awakening Of The Dead" (Self-released Demo) – BFM 003 1986

By Demo,or Demon,number III, Poison have finally worked out how to operate a mixer,and we can hear all the instruments. Now I can reveal that the Bass Player ,called...don't laugh....Incubus Demon......(muffled giggle)....has lifted the one size fits all Bass riffage from Saxon,whose every song used a one note E-string drone for virtually every tune they did.....just like Lemmy,and probably the four stringed Satan who was in Venom too.....i'm guessing here as I'm not too familiar with Venom's seminal works.

Poison's guitar sound is ruthless as always,the vocals are customarily indecipherable ,but they still retain that special live in the replica Gas Chamber at Auschwitz ambiance. If you ever visit that Nazi Disneyland for ghouls and fools (Don't),test out the acoustics of the Gas Chamber with the impertinent question "Is this the original Gas Chamber or is it a post war replica?"...and count the evil looks cast in your direction......names will be taken.

Metal ,in general, is a difficult thing to admit liking. Saying "I'm into Metal" is tantamount to admitting you're a Virgin,or have no Friends,or were bullied at school. On an anthropological note, I did note that the Bully's were usually Soul fans, and the Bullied were invariably followers of the infinite varieties of Heavy metal. Mirroring the Mods and Rockers' running battles of the 1960's. Punks, of course, were a mixture of the two camps,so generally got left alone,unless Skinheads were in the vicinity....this is why 'Oi' came into existence.

I did get discovered with a Devo album by a gang of Soul-Boys one time,which didn't end well,for me or the Devo LP. Not understanding the appeal of Soul music myself, i guess i lean towards the Metal end of the Pop spectrum,but this doesn't mean I'm a Virgin or totally friendless....although I'm working on that one....because i'm reformed Punk Rocker I suppose? Nowadays I can't stand Punks either.

"Never join a club that would have you as a Member" is my family motto courtesy of Karl Marx's smarter brother....Groucho. 

Tracklist:

...this world (A)

A1 Satan Commands 4:38
A2 Wake The Dead (+Intro) 7:48
A3 Yog-Sothoth 7:34
A4 Antichrist (D.t.C.) - Live '85  3:03

...beyond (B)

B1 Alive (Undead) 6:41
B2 Legions Of Hell (New Version) 8:08
B3 Black Death - Live '85 3:40

DOWNLOAD some german poison live at auschwitz HERE!

Poison – "Bestial Death (Demo II)" (BFM Tapes – BFM 002) 1985

Oh my God......sorry all you pale blue-veined metallic youths...I mean Oh My God of Evil,the great Satan and all his fantastic demon mates...I fall to my knees in thanks that you are but a very early prototype for a system of control...and a majority of the modern Planet still, STILL(?) falls for it.

Despite hardly ever being mentioned in that toilet fiction best seller by authors unknown, "The Bible", your influence still makes the god fearing  among us fear the concept of 'evil'...even the very intelligent among us are sucked into this ludicrous experiment of mass hysteria.That is far more frightening than any fictional devil,mainly because its fucking real!

The main tripping point for Death Metal,or just plain satanism is ,that if Satan exists then so does God,or Jehova, or Alan.....please don't kill me, I meant Allah!. Therefore,you are condemning yourself to eternal torture because you didn't waste your life grovelling for forgiveness for sins that ,apparently, Jesus Christ had already absolved us all for when he ,allegedly, provided the perverted image of himself nailed to a cross to remind us all.Although there are no photographs to prove it, so we'll just have to take the word of a bunch of madmen, who seem to have an exclusive hotline to the main office of the Almighty God above,and so can inform us of which confused nonsense this evasive deity wants us to know.

So, Death Metal bands are either comfortable in the knowledge that neither God, Nor, Satan, almost certainly do NOT exist ,and are just having a bit of fun, or they are totally stupid,worshiping the wrong side. I've heard that Satan, doesn't pull the punches when it comes to torture and eternity...even though it says fuck all about it in the Bible.However, one must say it's great fun annoying, and better still, frightening the shit out of dumbass believers by pretending to worship Satan,Lucifer, Beelzebub ,or whatever other stupid fucking name they give this ghost.

Now back to the slightly more logical world of terribly bad recordings of Death Metal band Poison, from Germany.

If it could be possible, Poison's second Demo, has an even higher rating on the Shit-Fi scale than the first. This one seems to have been recorded in a shoebox,with the drums outside in the car park,but the vocalist is the same room as you, spraying large clumps of sputum in your ear.The lyrics of which are unlikely to be sophisticated ruminations on the human condition.....well...either that or about death,evil and the Devil.It's truly bizarre stuff,and naturally its also very silly, but there's nothing else that sounds quite like it.

Tracklist:

1 Intro : The Vision 0:54
2 Satan Commands 4:21
3 Witchfynde 3:25
4 Wake The Dead 8:03
5 Antichrist (Death To Christ) 3:09
6 Alive (Undead) (7:55)
6a Intro 1:08
6b Song 6:47

DOWNLOAD a bestial ear bumming HERE!

Poison – "Sons Of Evil" (Self-Released Demo) 1984

 

Death Metal can either sound and feel like you're having your head kicked in, like Slayer's immaculately produced ear batterings; or, like having your inner ears dewaxed by a hammer drill whilst being surrounded by multitudes of arcing electrodes,which is where we find ourselves today. Depending on the group,some of these electrodes will be attached by crocodile clips to your balls,or whatever are now the sensitive parts of whichever gender you self-identify with nowadays.

This demo,is actually an unedited live rehearsal by German Death Metallers Poison, recorded in what sounds like a vast empty gas chamber,or an abandoned public toilet built on an ancient burial ground.

The guitar frequently does a rather accurate impression of one of the more harsher Merzbow albums,with a sound not too far removed from a tethered moped on full throttle in the hold of an oil tanker. The bass is inaudible,and the drums have that adorable DIY biscuit tin and bucket quality,overpowered by one side of a C-90's worth of the last words of somebody being garroted .

Its all quite ridiculous of course,but it sounds fantastic.

Tracklist:

A1 The Omen (Intro) 1:39
A2 Inferno Breaks Out 2:29
A3 Black Death 3:47
A4 Demon 6:16
A5 Reaper 3:08
A6 Possessed 2:06
A7 Angel Of Satan (+ March To Hades) 5:41
A8 Satan's Damnation (Intro) 1:24
A9 Legions Of Hell 3:38
B1 Leather + Metal 4:00
B2 Hell Of The Living Dead 4:55
B3 Slaughter 2:18
B4 Gonna Make You Die 5:21

DOWNLOAD from this german hell HERE!

The Decay – "Tonight, (Back From The Death) E.P." ( Sick Records – Sick 001) 1985

 

Ah bless 'em......classic Swiss punk by numbers with a guitar sound that must have been fed through a transistor radio then miked up through a cheap but louder amp. I had a similar amplification device in the 80's, purchased from Tandy called the Archer mini-amp,which you could easily overdrive the fuck out of and it would sound not unlike Andy Riot of The Decay's fizzing and spitting Guitar sound,if fed through the PA.

The infamous Archer Mini amp by Radio Shack!

The staggering,hopefully intended, incompetence on offer on this EP is as accidentally abstract as The Accused of "Mell Square Musick EP" fame from 1980.(more Accused HERE).

This undoubted charm remains intact from Insane Johnny(the Singer) and the boys,despite the wonderfully meandering time signatures,which in classic Beefheartian style seems to involve at least two different timings playing at the same time,which is very difficult to do, unless you're doing it by the forgivable mistake of incompetence,or got no monitors?

I can't imagine anyone notating the parts on these wild tunes, Drumbo style;but this Drummer, Rotten Love (!?),has that rare talent of doing just what the fuck he feels like doing irrespective of what the other musicians are contributing.This is how Punk Rock should sound.Listen to rock'n'roll decaying in front of your ears and dream of what might have been. 

Tracklist:

Seite Eins

A1 Tonight1:57
A2 Police State USA 2:06

Seite Zwei

B1 Holidays In London 1:16
B2 Anarchy And Peace 1:30
B3 Self Destruct 1:09

DOWNLOAD the decay of rock'n'roll HERE!

Anti Cimex – "Victims Of A Bombraid / Raped Ass" (Distortion Records - DISTLP9) 1994/1983)

More Swedish D-Beat from Anti Cimex,who basically played the same track,and wore the same clothes, for the ten years or so of their existence. They sounded like Discharge, looked like Discharge,wrote about the same things...or rather 'Thing' singular(i.e. Nuclear annihilation),as Discharge, and even supported Discharge whenever their heroes played in Sweden. Slightly more conventional, and far less brutal than Swedish faves The Shitlickers, but its still fun to listen,open mouthed, and wonder how groups like this ever came into being,and how they lasted for longer than one demo tape?

What was the game of the Arseholes?......Golf of course?

Tracklist:

A1 When The Innocent Die 2:01
A2 Warmachine 2:01
A3 Total Silence 1:50
A4 Cries Of Pain 1:16
A5 Raped Ass 1:13
B1 Desperate Hours 1:12
B2 Game Of The Arseholes 1:33
B3 Victims Of A Bombraid 2:43
B4 Set Me Free 1:21

DOWNLOAD consensually into that ass of a mind you possess HERE! 

Shitlickers – "GBG 1982" (Expanded version) 1982

That Stoke-On-Trent look travelled quickly to our Scandinavian chums just across the North Sea.The American Hardcore dressed down image firmly rejected for that popular Northern English more Sid than Sid caricature that still pollutes the highways and by-ways of many a town from Santiago to Vladivostok (travelling clockwise of course!) . These guys liked Discharge....a lot.And who can blame 'em.Rather magnificent was Discharge for an album and a half at least.....But...This Shitlickers EP,now expanded from the same sessions, wins my personal award for the best Hardcore and its derivatives vinyl EP ever self-released by a bunch of scandinavian spikey tops this side of the north sea oilfields.

Only five years between Wire's seminal "Pink Flag",the LP wot started this ultra reductionist approach, and this bizarre racket is what Punk Rock had evolved into by 1982.Times moved fast back in them daze. Now the renaissance has finished,nu-forms are stuck in the quicksands as is time.

Your author has come across a fan review which included a fine description of the...er... music(?), served rare on this black vinyl platter.I think this sums up the sound most adequately indeed:

"Fantastic EP that sounds like it was recorded in a rusty garbage can covered in piss"(Unknown critique).....one of course concurs somewhat.

Tracklist:

1.Warsystem
2.Armed Revolution
3.Spräckta Snutskallar
4.Leader (Of The Fuckin' Assholes)
5.Silence
6.Desperate Scream From The Heat
7.The Night Of The Holocaust
8.No System Works

DOWNLOAD some shit that can't be licked HERE!