Friday, 20 March 2020

Philip Johnson - "Completed Album" (Slackhurst Broadcasting SLX 02) (2019)



Ay up, its that girl with the wellies again!
Its also Philip Johnsons long awaited,or otherwise, follow up to "Year Of The Black Fridge".
It's supposed to be released on Vinyl but the forces that be have conspired for it to be shelved,probably permanently after the disaster that is the Covid 19 debacle!...unless someone out there has any money left that they don't mind losing that is?
I'll recommend "Bored,Depressed" for Wolgang (who described the previous album as 'Boring') but he must listen to it all the way through to the end or face the poisonous wrath of Zchivago,....please!?
This should split opinion in a small room,but please keep more than a meter apart and yawn into your elbow,or, alternatively sport a satisfied smile behind your surgical mask.
Its genuinely weird and can clear every sized room before any disease is transmitted,so its a great anti-covid 19 weapon.The next best thing I can find to a vaccine.Someone should inform the authorities.

Tracklist:

SIDE ONE

Intro 0:36
Soldier 3:14
Cpperc 0:34
Coat 3:17
Walah 3:04
Who Did Not 4:26
Mymst 0:24
Oh What 3:01

SIDE TWO

Iamg 0:47
Bored, Depressed 17:15

DOWNLOAD if you're bored or depressed or both HERE!

Thursday, 19 March 2020

Philip Johnson ‎– "Year Of The Black Fridge" (Slackhurst Broadcasting ‎– SLA 01) 2017


Wellies NOT Jackboots!
Jackboots NOT Wellies!

Described as 'Almost Mythical', by the  record bores episodic bible, "Rec-bored Collector" magazine ;the 'almost',which implies 'Not', 'Mythical', Philip Johnson's first vinyl album since "Youth In Mourning" in 1982,is the jolly bizarre"Year Of The Black Fridge". Some of the 220 limited edition copies have the 'controversial' album sleeve art, of two female Nazi camp gaurds,caught in a candid action pose,pesumably from a hidden camera?One of them dedecked in sexy jack boots showing a bit of leg below her regulation SS knee length skirt. The female Nazi is a popular turn at your averge S&M swingers party......so I'm told. The harsh reality was, i'm sorry to disappoint you all, but the ladies in the  SS were by in large, a bunch of angry Munters who hated the world because they were ugly fuckers. Severely beating an attractive Jewess to death was a surefire way of making them feel good about themselves,and still be able to look in a mirror,a feat most women would do anything to achieve.Psychopaths are also narcassists,now matter how hideous they are on the inside or outside,or what sex they are.
Naturally there will be a legion of loners with boners tugging themselves off at the mere prospect of being whipped by a female Deathcamp guard,but to be historically correct, their uniforms were made from a very coarse cheap fabric,and NOT Pvc. Hardly a myth shattering truth for most, but there's always someone, somewhere believing something absurd.
The other rear cover depicts the less 'controversial' image of a young lady with a short skirt and a pair of wellington boot;presumably this is a reference to the heroine of his fetish filled novel "Jeanette" (by his pen name, Joe Simpson Walker),the lead character of who liked to wear wellies, rather than Jackboots, when indulging her dark sexual side of an evening.
This theme does crop up from time to time in Philips work,and "Year Of The Black Fridge" is no exception.

Tracklist:

A1 Junelike (soundtrack) 18:01
B1 The Gackerillo 1:01
B2 Congratulations 4:42
B3 Moap 6b 1:12
B4 I Was Horrified 3:00
B5 Voice Of Liz 2 7:08


Philip Johnson ‎– "Youth In Mourning" (Namedrop Records ‎– NR3) 1982


The third of the essential Industrial 'Philip's',this one being Johnson by name but certainly not a Johnson,of the Boris kind. 
You could be forgiven in thinking that this album is called "1982" looking at the cover of this seminal(music press cliché word warning!) Industrial audio-collage from one of the leading lights in the dawn of DIY cassette culture.Having self-released over 25 cassettes,this would be PJ's only vinyl outing for 35 years.
And he was in Doof as well?

Tracklist:

A1 Heart Trouble
A2 It Meant Something Once
A3 C81
A4 We Can't Get What We Want
B1 Capermix
B2 New Age Sewage
B3 The Karate Kicking Girl Of New Invention
B4 Youth In Mourning
B5 The Same Side


Philip Sanderson - "The Sound Projector Session" (2019)



Still in disingenuous glowing tribute to Genesis P(hilip)Orridge mode, one is sticking to the persons responsible for the dawn of UK Industrial music,the clown prince of which was Neil Megson himself.....he's dead if you didn't know.
Next up is a live session one of the leading Industrial era Philips,the Sanderson one in this case, did earlier this year for Ed Pinsent(who?) and his Sound Projector radio show. Four instrumentals all recorded with his own custom made soft VCS3!?....what a clever boy? 

Tracklist:

01 A Glass of Darkness
What the Bladerunner soundtrack could have sounded like if they had employed Sanderson and not Zimmer.
02 Au Coin du Jardin
Tales of fake archaeological digs.
03 Scream Test
Horror in one take.
04 The Golden Fleet
Some Krauty goodness for Christmas.

DOWNLOAD some projectile sonics HERE!

Wednesday, 18 March 2020

Philip Sanderson - "Back Projection" (Snatch Tapes TCH 216) 2014



Following on from the Genesis P-Orridge is dead vibe,he did once boast about trying to commit suicide on stage and failing (accidentely) so we shouldn't be too sad,he just failed to die onstage thats all.

I always wondered what the 'P' in his name stood for?.....Why not 'Philip'?....it seems like a good industrial musick nom de plume because there were at least two Philips in the early DIY days of Industrial culture, and Philip Sanderson os Snatch Tapes, and Storm Bugs fame,is one of these Philips....along with Genesis Philip Orridge,and Philip Johnson of course.

Here's a drearily normal 'tell you whats on the album' type  Review of "Back Projection" by Jerry Kranitz from the Aural Innovations blog.I hate reviews like this,but it saves me from writing anything much,and Philip seems to like it so....?

But first,more tedious review background info:
Back Projection was originally released as a Snatch Tapes digital release in 2014, here it is with a couple of bonus tracks curtosy of the Philip himself. It's a largely song based album, which involved firstly creating analogue synth sequences onto/into which vocals were force fed says the Philip.

"Philip Sanderson is a veteran of the UK homemade music/cassette culture underground, his Snatch Tapes label having formed in the heady DIY days of the late 70s. My last run in with Sanderson was his 2012 released Hollow Gravity LP, brought to the world by the Puer Gravy label, run by those creative wild men Eric and Matt of Vas Deferens Organization (VDO).
Back Projection is a 9-track set of 3 instrumentals and 6 songs, apparently the first songs Sanderson has recorded in a long time. As Sanderson explains, “The tracks all started as free-form analogue synthesizer & sequencer improvisations using a long delay to build up polymorphous patterns. With the addition of vocals and some judicious editing these tracks morphed into songs.”
Among the instrumentals is Industrial Shadows, which is like VDO or the Residents playing to the rhythmic riff of Pink Floyd’s One Of These Days. Lost In A Brut Smog is an alien symphonic piece, with avant-concert piano accompanied by whizzing and whirring effects and surrounded by a heavenly cosmic aura. Wind Up goes deep into early 70s Kosmiche, but with an experimental twist, in a way not unlike VDOs Saturation and Zyzzybalubah albums did. I love the planetarium image inducing atmospherics and effects combined with merrily rhythmic pulsations, bleeps and tones.
The songs kick off with Down A Denny Lane, a delightfully odd and dark, yet slightly whimsical song, like Paul Roland with Goblin as his backing band. It’s got a ghostly feel, and a touch of early 70s German Kosmiche, yet there’s also a melange of cool and strange electronics creating off-kilter rhythms and effects. Back Projection is like a twisted cross between Peter Hammill and Anthony Phillips as the song tiddles along at a jagged but gently rolling pace. Kite (we thought it would be OK but the wind changed) is a hauntingly lulling Psychedelic song with a Pagan-Folk feel, yet includes spaced out atmospherics and is peppered with a plodding electronic melody that sounds interesting alongside the plucking medieval stringed instrument. Two songs that approach a gnarled brand of Pop are Ghost Of Substance and Manchmall. The former is a nifty bit of spacey electro Prog-Pop, and Manchmall is a merrily whimsical and melodic Space-Pop tune. Finally, Wonder Where You Wander is a vocal number, but covers much of the territory that the instrumentals have, being a darkly haunting yet cosmically uplifting song.
In summary, this is a fun set, the magic of the music being the variety of creatively strange elements that Sanderson incorporates throughout. Sanderson has a flair for a good melodic song, and these tunes are both catchy and cosmically eccentric."


Jeez!...Thank christ thats over. Like a landscape painting,you may as well just take a photograph rather than paint one.Just read the description rather than listen to it in this case.But better still, Just listen to it and don't read the description or explanations.
Its got two bonus tracks that aren't covered by the review anyway.

Tracklist & unnecessary explanations:

01 Industrial Shadows
OK so we start with an instrumental pondering what might have been if Hank rather than Cosey had been in TG.
02 Kite
The lyrics are from a 1970s safety film about the dangers of trying to retrieve one’s kite from a high voltage pylon.
03 Down a Denny Lane
“Go now before it’s far too late, go now thee majesty won’t wait.” Poor old Denny.
04 Ghost of Substance
A pop tart track about nothing ghosts. 
05 Bubble Drum
If Storm Bugs had coaxed Roger Keith Barrett into the studio it might have sounded like this.
06 Swingers
We had a bearded drama teacher in the 1970s who was so enthusiastic – he wore bell bottoms and a beard. This one is for him.
07 Manchmall
You know how we all enjoyed Faust etc singing in slightly off English. Here the favour is returned in bad German.  
08 Lost In a Brut Smog
A veritable pea souper or anagram of Storm Bug.
09 White Van Man 
Found my old punk voice in the attic gasping for air.
10 Wonder Where You Wander
Where are all those young dudes who spent the 1980s signing on?
11 Back Projection
Title track, right at the end.

Genesis P-Orridge / Stan Bingo ‎– "What's History" (Nekrophile Rekords ‎– NRC 02) 1983

A Genesis P-Orridge Rip......from a cassette he made in his bedroom with one Stan Bingo back in 1982.
Who's Stan Bingo you may well be asking? Well, think of what roadies are in trad rock circles, and you could well say that Stan was one of them.Sorting out stuff for Throbbing Gristle,and engineered the 'Heathern earth' album.
That's him on the left.

Here he gets to work with his boss,Genesis P-Orridge, who recently departed this mortal coil for a reunion with coil in the purgatory,Hell,or Heaven he never beleived in...whichever one, is purely a subjective opinion;but my money's on none of the above,just simple, classic, oblivion at 10 to one on (1/10). So this Rip is basically a call to Rest In Peace for poor Neil.

When the Bible of Industrial Music was written, the bad book,like the good book, opens with Genesis.
All who came before Throbbing Gristle were not Industrial music,but merely a pre-curser to one of the musics that would be truly International like a....here's that word again....Pandemic!An industrial group could come from anywhere on the planet and you would never be able to tell their origin.A real Global music,or non-music,whatever your opinion?
Even Cabaret Voltaire slip into second place in the league table of the inventors of this most inclusive of musics.No need for three chords,Industrial music only requires zero chords and anyone with absolutely zero musical ability can make an Industrial record in an afternoon.Sometimes merely by placing a microphone out of the window and recording the ambient noise of the street outside. Yes,even you can make a record;just buy an echo box,a tape recorder,a cheap synth and a distortion pedale and you're ready to go.Read up a bit on Nazi's,record some stuff off the TV,and we're off.
Of course there are always some smart arses who would say unrelated,and german, groups such as Kluster invented Industrial music, just as they like to say The Stooges were punk before Punk,which is crap 'cus punk didn't exist then;it was something else,it was Punk Rock when it was called Punk Rock,and Industrial music wasn't Industrial until Monte Cazazza called it Industrial in relation to the music TG were making,and nicked it for their record label.
They were also early and prolfic exponents of the art of the DIY cassette,and remained totally independant until they split up,and got involved with Stevo,who ruined it all with the  money he prised out of the record business's clenched fist.
P-Orridge would go on to make worse and worse albums for the rest of his recording life,and began to resemble a little old lady with a trout pout plastic surgery disaster.
But the reason i am typing this,although i've grown tired of all these disingenuous,or disingenesis, glowing obituaries;is to write a disingenuous glowing obituary for Genesis P-Orridge, who died three days ago......and the fact that someone wanted ,nay,demanded to know why i hadn't written a disingenuous glowing review of Gen's colourfull life;which was full of creative significance and influence.He really was one of thee recommended blueprints on how to do it.
RIP Genesis


Tracklist:

A What's History (Part 1)
B What's History (Part 2)


Tuesday, 17 March 2020

Rudy Ray Moore ‎– "The Second Rudy Ray Moore Album (This Pussy Belongs To Me)" (Comedians Inc. ‎– COM S 1105) 1970



What the fuck-ing hell is this?????
This is filed under "Comedy",in inverted commas, but is about as funny as a dose of scabies,bordering on as funny as cancer!
The reason this utter shit is on here is the influence these extremely ruuuude black comedians had on future Hip-Hop artists. Rudy Ray Moore's delivery is in the form of a rhyming monologue, with sweary words,and frequent graphic references to certain sexual acts and body parts.
The cover art is as jaw-droppingly purile as the ...er...music???
I'm sure it would probably make one laugh heartily if I could understand what the fuck he's going on about!?
Sure Black dudes got game, but they sure as shit ain't comedians........
I generalise of course,but i'm struggling to name a Black comedian who's actually funny. That geezer from 'The Mighty Boosh' and 'The IT Crowd', Richard Ayoade, is a wheeze,and rather more subtle than Rudy ray Moore,but does he qualify as 'Black'?
The cover says buy me,but the contents should never have been let out,to influence the wrong kind of rapper early in their impressionable years.
Evidence:
Snoop Dogg said: "Without Rudy Ray Moore, there would be no Snoop Dogg, and that's for real."

Christ! If only i had a gun and a time machine!?

Tracklist:
A1 Signifying Monkey
A2 40 Pounds Of Chittlings
A3 Quart Of Buttermilk
A4 Fall Out
A5 The Gorillas Are Coming, And Others
B1 Hurrican Annie Meets Dolemite
B2 California Poetry
B3 Mr Big Dick, And Others


Monday, 16 March 2020

The Last Poets With Bernard Purdie ‎– "Delights Of The Garden" (Douglas ‎– NBLP 7051)


Sorry for inflicting more Last Poets on y'all, but this one isn't so awful,and I've got fuck all else to do because France is on Covid#19 lockdown.
There's no mentions of the 'N' word,and improved mainly because its got drum legend Benard Purdie on skins. This applies some much needed discipline on these proto-rappers,and gives it some of the Funk that was missing from their early albums.
Personally I find Purdies drum style rather boring and unadventurous, but it fits in nicely here.
Yeah, there's the usual bigging up of the need for armed revolution,and moaning about how their distant ancestors were made slaves by white mens distant ancestors.I've researched my own family tree and there were no slave owners,in fact most of my family were slaves of the British system,paid fuck all,and forced to fight and die in wars that had nothing to do with them,or any choice in the matter. 
I'm personally thinking of suing the decendants of the Roman empire for the crimes they commited in England during their occupation......and I want compensation(Financial naturally). Also i'm waiting for an apology from the British Government for World War One......there's as much chance of this happening as there is for compensation (financial,again, of course) being paid to the decendants of the victims of the slave trade.
Everyone's been fucked over by someone,be it individuals or state institutions, in the long saga of human history.Basically.....get over it FFS!?
A Fictional member of the public : "Jonny Zchivago you're a Racist and a Nazi apologist"......oh Fuck jolly well Off and ask yerself some very difficult questions dear Fictional member of the public!
One doesn't go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and slag off your fellow members for being alcoholics,your there to cure oneself;so you introduce yourself thus:
"Hi, I'm a fictional member of the public and i'm an Alcoholic"....then take it from there.So before you call me a Racist be really certain that you ain't one yerself? The time honoured excuse of "But I've got lots of Black Friends" isn't acceptable.Just as the prefix of "I'm not Racist, but....!" is almost an admission.

(PS I'm also a Homophobic Fuck too apparently...check it out here:)


Tracklist:

A1 It's A Trip 4:44
A2 Ho Chi Min 5:16
A3 Blessed Are Those Who Struggle 3:41
A4 The Pill 5:08
A5 Delights Of The Garden 3:47
B1 Be 6:19
B2 Yond 4:58
B3 Er 7:36


The Last Poets ‎– "Chastisment" (Blue Thumb Records ‎– BTS 39) 1972


You may want them to shut up,but they sure had some cool threads maaaan!
By the third album, The Last Poets had finally cottoned on that they needed some half decent music to set their Rants to.So for a few of the tracks, we've got some Afrocentric Jazz to increase the chances of anyone actually listening to their message.
Once you've listened to their well worn out message, you probably wish you hadn't,but it kinda works.Even white guys could probably dance to the opening track,but it goes rapidly downhill after the second tune.
The closing number reverts back to Beatnik territory with the mention of the holy word "Bird";where they run through a list of black jazz musicians,like Archie Shepp,Trane,Miles,Herbie Hancock....etc. And claims that the Love Supreme That Trane was going on about was purely for the Black man.Hmmmmmmm? Not sure that was mentioned in the convoluted eastern philosophy Trane and his missus were into,but whatever, I don't have a problem with the vast universal consciousness not loving me as much as the Uber Black male,or, Uber person of colour should I say? Bring on the Chastisment baby.


Tracklist:

1.Tribute To Obabi (Ogun) 10:16
2.Jazzoetry 3:46
3.Black Soldier 5:56
4.E Pluribus Unum 4:38
5.Hands Off 4:05
6.The Lone Ranger 0:28
7.Before The White Man Came 3:43
8.Bird's Word 6:10

Sunday, 15 March 2020

The Last Poets ‎– "The Last Poets" (Douglas ‎– Douglas 3)


If you wanted to scream 'Oh Shut The Fuck Up' to Gil Scott-Heron,then you'll bust a bloodvessel after thirty seconds of The Last Poets.At least there was only one Gil Scott-Heron in his band,here we've got three,all barking at once,and some terrible afro-centric Conga bashing to further agitate your inner ear. What a confusingly annoying racket. All the Poets seem to talk at the same time, relentlessly slagging off 'People of Colour' (yeah I know!),for not wanting a bloody revolution.There's also the  liberal,and very tiresome use of the 'N' word that I cannot use because I'm a honky;but absolutly NOT in any way a proud Honky,not even proud of being human in fact.
They do grugingly admit that they love their fellow 'N#@*$%S',because ,and i quote " N#@*$%S are me!" 
Fucking gets on me titz does this album,but you gotta hand it to 'em, they sowed the evil seed of Hip-Hop, annoyed the fuck out of whitey,and once those bleeding bongo's got ditched for drum machines ten years later, slagging off your own racial grouping became listenable.
Sadly this bunch weren't the Last Poets, but the first of a very long and seemingly endless line of exceedingly bad poets. Somehow this all evolved into simplistic rhymes about how cool violence is,misogyny,homophobia and celebrating luxurious possessions to the expense of their fellow strugglers in ......oh ffs....the Ghetto. Viva Capitalism 'N#@ger!.
As for market forces, I paid thirty quid for this in the early nineties,after having a couple of their later albums,which are rather good,and vaguely funky (so don't let this album put you off!?),i decided to get the debut LP.I pretended to like it for a while to ease the pain of losing thirty notes.....but the pain was eased permanently at the end of the nineties, with the rise and rise of E-Bay.
Maybe capitalism isn't so evil after all? (er..yes it is Ed.)


Tracklist:

1.Run, Nigger
2.On The Subway
3.Niggers Are Scared Of Revolution
4.Black Thighs
5.Gashman
6.Wake Up, Niggers
7.New York, New York
8.Jones Comin' Down
9.When The Revolution Comes
10.Just Because
11.Black Wish
12.Two Little Boys
13.Surprises


Gil Scott-Heron ‎– "Small Talk At 125th And Lenox" (Flying Dutchman ‎– FDS 131) 1970


As Proto-Rap goes, only this album, a bunch of potty mouthed Black Comedians (Comedians of Colour,mainly Blue) and The Last Poets are understood to have provided the final template for what has come to torture us endlessly today.The late fifties jazz hipster jive talk provided the delivery of the words, and the black poets of the late sixties provided the politics. I doubt that Gil Scott-Heron would approve of the majority of the lyrical content of 21st century Rap,but then again, I don't think he approved of very much at all. He's got one of those lop-sided I ain't gonna agree with anything,smart arse crooked grimaces on his boatrace. After about four tracks you just want him to Shut The Fuck UP! Its tiresomely relentless in its bitterness,with no let up that you start hankering after a bit of Kanye West to give your brain a rest.
Those beatnik bongo's ,although admirably minimal, rarely change with the poetry,which is another aspect adopted by future Hip-Hop acts. Normally i'm a fan of monotony,but even Can packed that lark in after several albums,Neu! took a bit longer, and Hip Hop is still firmly ...there!
It's most bizarre how the mostest un-black music in the world, from Germany of all places, would find itself absorbed into thee most Black music in the world,this especially applies to  Kraftwerk who were the final ingredient for the Electro-Rap that would become called Hip-Hop. And don't under estimate the influence of the great Gary Numan either,who had never heard of Kraftwerk until someone pointed it out as a possible influence after he had a hit record. There's always a proportion of parallel evolution ,and mutual inspiration in the progression of the musical form,and Rap music is clearly the most glaringly obvious.......but,shut up moaning Gil, The Revolution will not be televised,nor will it be online, mainly because the Revolution will never happen!...but if it did, it most certainly would be televised on the miriad of social media platforms.......well I'd watch it,should be entertaining. I remember some live Rioting in L.A. in the nineties I think, when a mob of angry black brothers ,sorry I mean Persons of Colour,dragged a white truck driver from his cab and beat the living shite out of him on live TV. Like a 20th century version of Roman Gladiatorial battles.It had me searching for the thumbs down button on my remote control.This is Entertainment?
After all Whitey's on the moon isn't he?.....no wait, its says on Facebook that Whitey never got to the Moon?......thats the second best rant on this album nullified!?
He's angry about prejudice is our Gil,or bert, but apparently this doesn't apply to Faggots according to track Seven.Slightly hypocritical there Gilbert? Unless he was playing Devils Advocate, but somehow I doubt it.Not as 'Right On' as he sounds is he,or rather was he? Maybe I just don't like listening to anyone who is more bitter than I am!?


Tracklist:

1.Introduction 0:31
2.The Revolution Will Not Be Televised 2:46
3.Omen 1:45
4.Brother 2:35
5.Comment #1 4:26
6.Small Talk At 125th & Lenox 1:20
7.The Subject Was Faggots 3:10
8.Evolution (And Flashback) 3:20
9.Plastic Pattern People 2:50
10.Whitey On The Moon 1:57
11The Vulture 2:00
12.Enough 8:37
13.Paint It Black 0:30
14.Who'll Pay Reparations On My Soul ? 4:20
15.Everyday 4:20


Saturday, 14 March 2020

George Russell And His Orchestra ‎– "New York, N.Y." ( Decca ‎– DL 79216) 1959


Highly respected Hep-Cat Jazzer George Russell does his bit in the evolution of Hip Hop with an all-star orchestra; including, among many lesser lights, Max Roach on skins, and none other than 'Trane 'on his prefered axe. Ice cool smooth bebop big band jazz for hipsters only,and  Kool Kat Jon Hendricks,rapping beat talk to introduce each piece and yes, he does mention that obligatory word,the 'Bird'.
Hendricks, doesn't just give us some groovy hipster narrative, he makes it rhyme so it starts to chime, get me? A highly influential and supremly Hip platter in the annals ,or anals, of the foundations or roots of Rap.

Tracklist:

1.Manhattan
2.Big City Blues
3.Manhatta-Rico
4.East Side Medley: A) Autumn In New York, B) How About You
5.A Helluva Town


DOWNLOAD and get instantly kool,kool in 1959 anyway pops,just click yer fingers right HERE!

Charlie Mingus and langston Hughes ‎– "The Weary Blues With Langston Hughes" (MGM Records ‎– E3697) 1958

Ouch! Me Brane 'urts.....we're drifting very dangerously near the jagged rocks of Hip Hop and its regrettable birth. 
Kool Kats rapping over a cool bebop soundtrack,talking not singing,was,without doubt the beginning of the most monotonous music ever to fuck you up the arse and describe the act as they're doing it to you......all in simplistic rhyming couplets to rub your face in it.
"Did I die and go to hell(?)", you scream.There's no need to go anywhere when the mountain can come to Mohammed. Satan brings Hell to your own doorstep,with free home delivery. Like Pollution, it gets everywhere,ain't going nowhere,and lowers your IQ.

Tracklist:

1.Hey (Night) / Too Blue / Ballad of the Fortune Teller
2.Commercial Theater 

3.The Weary Blues
4.Blues at dawn
5.Six Bit Blues
6.Morning After
7.Could Be / Bad Luck Card / Bad Man
8.life is fine
9.hey Hey Morn
10.Testament
11.Consider Me
12.Warning: Augmented
13.Motto / Dead in There
14.Final Curve
15.Boogie: 1 a.m.
16.Bedtime
17.Daybreak
18.Tell Me
19.Good Morning / Harlem
20.Same in Blues / Comment on Curb
21.Democracy / Island / extract from Warning: Augmented / Jump Monk

Friday, 13 March 2020

Don Morrow ‎– "Grimm's Hip Fairy Tales as dug by Don Morrow" (Roulette R-25146) 1961


Maaan do I dig this? 
Don Morrow, right wing TV Host and narrator, had a go at defusing the dangerous world of the Beatnik,by that time-honoured tactic of 'Taking the Piss'. The world of 'Beat',basically, represented Satan to right wing christian fundamentalists...with emphasis on the 'Mentalist' part of the word Fundamentalist. The next album Don would make was a tribute LP to the Green Berets!?......sounds like fun (...damentalism)?
Don,and an uncredited chick, do a very fine job at lampooning the very easy target of the Hipster. The aforementioned 'uncredited Chick' is worth the entrance money herself.
Not that Beatniks are renouned for laughter. Lenny Bruce excepted,so i'm told?Not that he ever made the smallest muscle in my fizzog twitch however;but the first three tracks achieve this effortlessly. Yeah cats...it's a gas...but not as much a gas as it could have been with a little more effort like filling tracks 4 to 11 with more beat talk versions of fairy tales.Instead what we get are eight tracks of smooth jazz to fill up the rest of the LP. Not Cool.
Perhaps Mr Morrow's fee was too high for the labels budget?

Tracklist:

1.Like Hansel And Gretel 5:29
2.Like The Shoemaker And The Elves 5:00
3.Like Rumplestilskin 6:18
4.All That Jazz 2:01
5.A Little Night Music 2:07
6.Like Wow! 1:51
7.Two Little Kooks 2:03
8.Two-Beat Beatniks 2:14
9.It Ain't Grindlesteig 1:55
10.Gossip 1:44
11.Kerouazy 2:04


Thursday, 12 March 2020

Babs Gonzales ‎– "Tales Of Manhattan: The Cool Philosophy Of Babs Gonzales" - (Jaro International ‎– JAM 5000) 1959


One suspects that this Cat ain't joking? It sounds like a parody,but just maybe Babs means it?
There's a part of me that hopes he's serious,so for the sake of this narrative I'm treating this as the real deal pops.This is a less eloquent,and cliched black bloke, version of Jack Kerouac on happy pills,with a cooool Be-Bop backing band.
Jazz writer Jack Cooke explained that Gonzales "assumed the role of spokesman for the whole hipster world... [becoming] something more than just a good and original jazz entertainer: but the incarnation of a whole social group."
Sheeeet...this cat was serious!?
He really did see himself as thee cool Philosopher of 'Hip'.Maaaan that's the Mostest!
Sheer Joy.
There is,however one negative amongst all this pleasure:
Mother Earth was pregant for the ninth time....could this be the moment she was impregnated with the Hip-Hop virus?

Tracklist:

A1 The Hat Box Chicks
A2 Broadway - 4 A.M.
A3 You Need Connections
A4 'Dem Resolution Liars
A5 Manhattan Fable
B1 'Dem Jive New Yorkers
B2 The Squares
B3 A Dollar Is Your Only Friend
B4 The Cool Cat's Philosophy
B5 Ole Braggin' Freddie


Jack Kerouac & Steve Allen ‎– "Poetry For The Beat Generation" ( Dot Records ‎– DLP 3154) 1959


Too fucking cool for school again......you cats know I don't dig that wot is 'IN'. That what is 'IN' is certainly 'OUT' in my opinion, and Kerouac sounds like a bit of a prick to me. I wondered how long it would take him to mention 'Bird' (Charlie Parker,for us 'uncool' cats), and he gets it in after a restrained eight minutes of vinyl time.
I'm a Poet daddio,one who talks 'Hip', who can barely contain his own recognition of his massive importance,and,consequently, self-importance.He wrote a book that still adorns coffee tables to this day,and unwittingly created a stencil for many a wanna-hipster-be to colour in.Casual Sex,hanging out,drug abuse, travelling for no particular reason,writing poetry.....you too can be a Beat Poet,in fact you probably ARE a beat poet;alas,the poetry of this age is more Beaten than Beat.In the French language, 'Bite' (Pronounced Beat) is the word for Prick,so in fact this is 'Prick Poetry'....and why not?
The fact that Kerouac has remained well and truly "IN" fifty years after drinking himself to death,very kool(?),is a testament to his works ability to still appeal to a certain part of the eternal adolescents brain.In this age when everyone dresses as if they were perpetual rock stars,yet we're all so rebellious that we're still willing slaves of our own concepts,juxtaposed.....ah haaaa,yes i've got an English Literature A'Level,what you gonna do about it?.....with an insatiable desire to surround ourselves with 'Plastic Stuff',to enhance our own shallow plastic ego's. We need fantasies that pricks like Kerouac provide for us,and fantasies are just what they are. Travelling is eroding the things that we wanna travel to,while at the same time creating a personal carbon footprint large enough to last sveral lifetimes of rising temperatures.Stick to photographs).Promiscuous sex is at the same level as it's always been....no it didn't all start in 1959. Drug abuse is now exclusively the property of the underclass,who can't afford a can of beans but can effortlessly chase the dragon in front of their plasma screen televisions watching Celebrity Love Island.The very same 'Underclass' are also the ones who are writing the sixth form poetry with a beat,now cleverly rebranded as Hip-Hop culture;the Culture part being somewhat of a misnomer.The Beats certainly has one over the Hip-Hop-hippity hop bop sqwiddely pooooow crew,comfortably outscoring the tracksuited rhymers in the realm of the sartorially elegant. This lot are certainly 'The Beaten Generation' for sure......yes even fucking Stormzy! FFS!
In its way, this album from the king of the Beats, is as funny as any of those many Beatsploitation releases in the same year of '59,and I don't mean Kerouac's lame attempts at humour either.It may have been fresh in 1959,but sixty years hence,you just can't comprehend if he was serious or not? I mean did they really think that Dave Brubeck was the swingingest?

Tracklist:

A1 October In The Railroad Earth 7:09
A2 Deadbelly 1:05
A3 Charlie Parker 3:45
A4 The Sounds Of The Universe Coming In My Window 3:17
A5 One Mother 0:49
A6 Goofing At The Table 1:45
A7 Bowery Blues 3:56
B1 Abraham 1:17
B2 Dave Brubeck 0:31
B3 I Had A Slouch Hat Too One Time 6:12
B4 The Wheel Of The Quivering Meat Conception 1:55
B5 McDougal Street Blues 3:23
B6 The Moon Her Majesty 1:36
B7 I'd Rather Be Thin Than Famous 0:37

B8 Readings From 'On The Road' And 'Visions Of Cody' 3:32

Wednesday, 11 March 2020

Rod McKuen ‎– "Rod McKuen Takes A San Francisco Hippie Trip" (Tradition Everest ‎– 2063) 1968


This extremely fucked up copy of Pound-Shop Kerouac Rod's spoken word Psychsploitation trip to San Francisco,should just about manage to turn anyone 'off' rather than 'on'.Play this to the Grateful Dead,and they'd probably all join the army.Then some kind benefactor could have paid the special assassination squad of the Viet-Cong to shoot the fuckers in Cambodia.Like a reverse,dee-psychedelicised Apocalypse Now.....I'm on it.....got the first page of the script written already.Gerry Garcia is to be played by Charlie Sheen,but the special effects budget is so minuscule that i'm afraid the beheading scene is left to the last day of filming...and it ain't good news for Charlie....let's just say, he won't be surfing no more,but at least he died for his art rather than from AIDS.
Sounding as square as ever, Rod revives his beatnik character from his "Beatsville" album,on the look out for some 'Chicks' to get some free loving from,strictly no strings attached.(although someone reckoned that Rod was on the other team when it came to sexy-time?)....he was, a trained actor after all?
All this and he wrote "Blank Generation" for Richard Hell too....i'm not gonna let this go.I'm like a dog with a bone where Richard Hell's concerned.

Tracklist:

A1 I Dig Sausalito 1:26
A2 Kranko's Hippie Party 4:33
A3 Love Child's Lament 9:15
B1 Ode To "The Warm One" 1:30
B2 - Of Girls - 5:20
B3 - Of Me - 2:19
Grant Avenue Reflections 6:50
B4a This Boy -
B4b How Does It Feel?
B4c Just For Kicks
B4d Games
B4e Flying Home
B4f Talent?
B4g Confucious Say
B4h Here's To -


Tuesday, 10 March 2020

Edd "Kookie" Byrnes ‎– "Kookie Star Of "77 Sunset Strip" (Warner Bros. Records ‎– WS 1309) 1959


Well, I think this is one of the best albums ever made!? It sounds like a soundtrack to a John Waters movie,but is in fact a cash in release , staring the most popular character,"Kookie", from a detective show on late fifties American TV, "77 Sunset Strip".
Gerald Lloyd "Kookie" Kookson III (Edd Byrnes), was the rock and roll-loving, wisecracking, hair-combing hipster and aspiring PI who initially worked as the valet parking attendant at Dino's, the club next door to the detectives' office.

He was mentioned in the lyrics to Bob McFadden and Dor's "The Mummy" 45,when the Mummy in question came back to life specifically to buy a copy of "Kookie,Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)",but people were afraid of him...all,except the hipster at the end....."Like....er... Help!"
All you need to learn how to be a Hipster is listen to Kookie, and that album on "How to speak 'Hip'" by Del Close and John Brent.
This is one of the Ginchiest records from the massive Beatsploitation tidal wave of 1959,....like...er... wow!
Stand-out track "Like,I Love You" is just the mostest daddio.A window to a world where life was almost perfect.
I may be stuck in 1980 for what remains of my lifetime (at least until COVID 19 gets me), but I really wish i was stuck in a groundhog day situation in 1959.Although,It just might be possible that I've just defined Hell!?...but it'd be just wild for the first few thousand years at least.
On a heavier note:

Important Die or DIY? Health Advice Annoucement: Don't Wash Your hands,touch your face,and other faces as often as possible,sneeze openly, and hang out in large crowds. Usually I self-isolate as much as possible, but on this occassion i may accept invitations to shake my tail feather at the hop,like normal people do.
I didn't think there'd be anything after Brexit and Trump to further lower my opinion of human society, but this blind panic about a less deadly than influenza virus has done it.I went to the supermarket this evening to get some toilet roll.....none left because the fuckers have been panic buying....no bread either!!!!?
So bad news for the amazon rain forest,as bog roll sales have doubled,those trillion acres of silent, birdless eucalyptus trees planted in place of rain forest in Brazil,will want to expand.Eucalyptus wood is good to making stuff to wipe the shit off fat human arses the world over.Pity it can't wipe the shit from their brains as well?
One bit of good news,though not,as yet confirmed by fact checker, is that China have banned the hunting and killing of wild animals for food or medecine.This includes the gorgeous Pangolin,which i try sporadically to raise awareness of in these columns. This is a desperate bid by the Chinese Govt to avoid making COVID 20 next year....if anyone's still alive to catch it that is!?


Tracklist:
A1 Hot Rod Rock
A2 Kookie's Mad Pad
A3 I Don't Dig You, Kookie
A4 Saturday Night On Sunset Strip
A5 The Kookie Cha Cha Cha
A6 Kookie, Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)
B1 Like I Love You
B2 Kookie's Clock
B3 You're The Top
B4 Square Dance For Round Cats
B5 "A" You're Adorable
B6 Kookie's Boogie


Monday, 9 March 2020

Del Close & John Brent ‎– "How To Speak Hip" (Mercury ‎– OCM 2205) 1959


Hey, Katz.....ever wondered how I got to be the Kool Daddio I am today?? 
Lemme clue ya to this disc to show you kids how to split out of squaresville and get a gig on the scene, that's where's it's at Dad. So go get this from a record man,hide it under a Charlie Parker album,and that'll be the last square thing you'll ever do.You're hip! Just don't mention this conversation again, you dig?...Kool.

Bare with me,i'm just slipping out of character.....NOW!

Boy,its hard work being a kool kat and a poet,but this Beatsploitation guide to the absurd world of the Beatnik on the cusp of the sixties is essential.....if not for a guide on how to be and speak 'Hip',but for a jolly good laugh.
Yeah baby, it's another one of those exploitation tools as put forth by the Maaaaaan, to turn the rebirth of cool into something tepid and nothing but a harmless joke.


Tracklist:

A1 Introduction 1:13
A2 Basic Hip 1:15
A3 Vocabulary Building 4:15
A4 The Loose Wig 2:45
A5 The Riff 5:50
A6 The Hang Up 3:18
B1 Put On, Put Down, Come On, Come Down, Bring Down 5:50
B2 Cool 3:51
B3 Uncool 1:00
B4 Field Trip No. 1 1:30
B5 Field Trip No. 2 1:12
B6 Field Trip No. 3 1:15
B7 Summary 1:27


Sunday, 8 March 2020

Bob McFadden & Dor ‎– "Songs Our Mummy Taught Us" (Brunswick ‎– BL 754056) 1959


Who's this Bob McFadden you may ask; and who the Fuck is Dor?...Well as 'Dor' is 'Rod' spelled backwards,the answer becomes blatantly obvious..yep, it's Rod McKuen,doing what he did best, parodying current trends for the maaaaaaan.
Backed up again, by Bill Haley and his Comets on the obvious tracks, this album is actually genuinly hilarious.
Everyone gets it, Rock'n'Roll,Beatniks,Exotica,marching bands,Horror movies...er...thats about it,there wasn't much of a wide pallet of choice in 1959.
The Fall,and their beatnik singer, did a rather good version of "The Mummy" I recall, during their wilderness years in the nineties.And this maybe where the Cramps got their debut album title from.Everyone stole from this record it seems,'cus Richard Hell's Blank Generation tune is here too,with different words, however.
Did Rod ever get any royalties from Hell's blatant rip off I wonder?


Tracklist:

A1 The Mummy
A2 The Sheik Of Araby (Shreik Of Agony-Cha Cha Cha)
A3 Sing Along With The Mummy (Shake, Rattle And Roll)
A4 I Dig You Baby
A5 Frankie And Igor At A Rock And Roll Party
A6 Noisy Village
B1 Son Of The Mummy (More Sing Along With The Mummy)
B2 Hound Dog
B3 Bingo
B4 The Children Cross The Bridge - Colonel Bogey March
B5 The Beat Generation
B6 The Beverly Hills Telephone Directory Cha Cha Cha


Saturday, 7 March 2020

Rod McKuen ‎– "Beatsville" (HiFi Records ‎– R 419) 1959



In 1959,like in 1968 for 'Psych' bands and 1978 for 'Punk', the record companies fell over each other,desperately scrambling to get a 'Beat' act on the roster.All the Kool Katz had been snapped up the year before.Miles,Bird,Kerouac,Chet,Mingus,Kookie,Fabian, and a tsunami of synthetic Beatniks bedecked in sweaters with holes in,worn out jeans with paint blotches on,sandals,uncombed hair,talking Jive and carrying a well thumbed copy of Lolita.
"Like...er...hey baby, i don't dig the man comin' on all the time.... get me?", said the Beatnik fresh out of drama school...looking suspiciously like Rod McKuen.A Beatnik by numbers.
He'd obviously just read "On The Road" after his manger bought him a copy with the words..."Read This,then come to my office in the morning kid."
New independant label, Hi-Fi records, supremo, Richard Vaughan was there with a contract and a pen,and "Beatsville" was born.
The suggestions of casual sex, misogyny,drug abuse,violence, was undoubtedly 'Shocking' in 1959,but,incredibly its just as shocking in the modern era,for the opposite reasons.This album is full of racism,sexual exploitation, misogyny,upon a raft of politically incorrect fakery.A Beatsploitation masterpiece.
Rod would do vitually anything to sell records,and believe me he had around 6 or 7 albums out every year for at least a decade and a half....and this wasn't the only Beatsploiting platter in his truly horrible, but vast, canon.The public were frightened,so Rod's main job was primarily turning the Beat scene into a joke,just as 'they' did with Hippies and Punks in the coming decade.Even Rod did a Psychsploitation album ten years hence.He never managed a punk album,praise be to his masters Gods.Although, his single,the B-side to novelty smash 'The Mummy', "Beat Generation",as backed by no less than, Bill Haley and his Comets(!) is a beatsploitation masterpiece,Which is in effect, where Richard Hell got his "Blank Generation" song from....so maybe by default Rod even got in on the Punksploitation market too.That is some kind of genius.It also explains where Hell got the idea of sweaters with holes in,messy hair,and writing shit poetry from?A deadly mixture of Bowie and Beatnik was our silly Richard."Like....er...LOL baby!"
So called 'Beat poet', WS Burroughs, like to write about control systems, but like later 'fads',Beatnik was just another insideous male instigated control system,to cajole women into bed.Which ,apart from war, is the only reason Men do anything.
"...Hey baby!Wanna come and ball at my crazy pad,I dig chicks who swing,y'get me?"..."Wow! Krazy Pops!"...Beat girls were far too 'Kool' to simply say...'oh fuck off you creep!'
"Wow! Krazy Pops!"


Tracklist:

A1 Co-Existence Bagel Shop Blues 1:00
A2 Bearded Ladies 3:16
A3 Haiku Poems 1:53
A4 No Pictures Please 2:21
A5 Back To Sausalito 1:29
A6 Three Songs For 'S' 2:44
A7 Joue 1:20
A8 R.S.V.P. 0:18
A9 Reflections On A Plane Trip Home 1:05
B1 Life Is 0:41
B2 The Elegant Prison Downstairs 2:14
B3 The Bird Boy 2:04
B4 Grant Avenue Square Dance 0:19
B5 A Gallery Of Assorted Beats 4:04
B6 Get The Hell Out Of My World 3:14
B7 Like 0:39
B8 What Is A Fabian? 3:47
Bonus Tracks
18 The Beat Generation 2:05
19 Six Songs For The Sun 5:27

Ken Nordine ‎– "Word Jazz Vol. II" (Dot Records ‎– DLP 25301) 1960


We've had 'Son Of.....',there also exists a 'Grandson Of....', and there is also a Word Jazz two or 2 or II; which for those not familiar with roman numerals, could be Volume eleven?
Volume two's are notoriously crapper than Volume ones,and to a certain extent this is true of Word Jazz Two. However,the first volume set such a high bar,that the follow-up would have to score eleven out of ten to be superior. It is therefore very excellent,but not as good as numero uno, but better than "Son Of Word Jazz".....sctrictly a subjective judgement ,which in my experience usually ends up in back to front order for most of the public out there.After-all, one in fifty households own an Elton John record,so you understand what we're dealing with here? If one in fifty households owned a Ken Nordine reord instead, the world would be a better,or even a safer, place.

Tracklist:

A1 There's A She And A He 3:36
A2 Reaching Into In 2:04
A3 Adult Kindergarten 1:58
A4 Spectrum 2:51
A5 Fireflies 2:14
A6 So And So 2:01
B1 Lesson Number 1 1:34
B2 Confessions Of 349-18-5171 7:55
B3 You're Getting Better 2:08
B4 Original Sin 2:57